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Sometimes I don't know what the fuck y'all are talking about and I'm cool with that.

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Author Topic: The end times?  (Read 2431 times)

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wombat

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The end times?
« on: October 25, 2007, 11:51:56 am »
Fires on one side of the country, turkeys on the other. What's next?
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Doc

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2007, 12:31:18 pm »
And Lo the pigs shall take the roads as men.
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side_show

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2007, 01:15:22 pm »
Mmm smoke turkey....  I'm sorry... what?  Hrmp...

I would be so excited to see a turkey on my front lawn.  I can't imagine how wonderful it would be to step out and just see dinner waiting of you, all fresh, stupid and waiting to be killed.  The fact that people are worried about a highly edible bird showing up in their area... I think we're all growing a little soft these days.  I like how the article references the turkeys walking around amidst the nannys with $300 strollers and Trader Joe shoppers.  I mean, it's almost American Thanksgiving, and the tone of the article seems to indicate that people are unhappy about turkeys showing up?  What?  I suppose I come from old farm stock and know a lot of people who know exactly what to do when a meal shows up on your front door, so it all seems a little silly to me.  I mean, I understand the "end times" connotations of weird natural occurrences and how worrysome such things can be.  I can also recognize a pretty awesome opportunity though, and uh... turkey = delicious.
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Doc

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2007, 01:25:15 pm »
There are tonnes of bush turkeys around where I live and I sure as hell wouldn't eat them, but I'm pretty sure they are a different (skankier, angrier) breed.
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wombat

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2007, 01:31:03 pm »
Wild turkeys are protected in Massachussetts, so you're not allowed to kill them, making it a little hard to eat them.  It's not even allowed to trap and relocate them. Apparently they can be rather aggressive, but all you're allowed to do is try to scare them away. I heard an animal control officer on the radio who recommended that if you are being attacked by one, 'hit it with your purse.'

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What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

jaydub

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2007, 02:36:51 pm »
Quote from: wombat on October 25, 2007, 01:31:03 pm
I heard an animal control officer on the radio who recommended that if you are being attacked by one, 'hit it with your purse.'


Superiority for women at last.  I guess I'll have to flee towards the nearest female when the turkeys come for me.
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AugustWest

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2007, 03:44:12 pm »
We have lots of wild turkeys around here.  I see flocks of them by the road on the way to work.
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Limmo

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2007, 05:16:29 pm »
Ah, Orange County humor.   You must be a Glenn Beck fan.
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side_show

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2007, 07:01:24 pm »
Legal stuff aside, in a natural order of things, it's all very counter intuitive to not take advantage of a bounty offered up.  I mean, they're being a nuisance.  It's like they know they're delicious and they're asking to be eaten.  That's why they're getting so aggressive maybe?  They're all "gobble, gobble!  Fulfill my ancestral right to be eaten and enjoyed!  Gobble, gobble!  What the hell?  I'm right here!  Gobble, gobble.  Why won't someone eat me! Gobble, gobble!  That's it!  If you won't eat me, I am so pecking you! Peck, peck, pack!"

I am all for protected species though.  Perhap this particular species' protection needs reexamination.  Or is it just a situation where they're still not that many of them, but the few that are around are choosing inconvenient places to live?

Also, I got a turkey for free due to buying a certain amount of groceries a few weeks ago.  This will mark the first time I will cook an entire turkey myself.  I'm a little nervous.
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V-Adore

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2007, 09:43:05 pm »
While driving around a side of town I don't normally drive, I recently saw a turkey on someone's lawn, accompanied by a small flock of chickens. It was clearly domesticated, but it was still a mildly surreal image.

There, this post officially contributed nothing to the thread! Go, me.
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AlohaDawg

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Re: The end times?
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2007, 01:00:12 am »
Quote from: side_show on October 25, 2007, 01:15:22 pm
Mmm smoke turkey....  I'm sorry... what?  Hrmp...

I would be so excited to see a turkey on my front lawn.  I can't imagine how wonderful it would be to step out and just see dinner waiting of you, all fresh, stupid and waiting to be killed.

Except as any one who has hunted 'em could tell you, they aren't stupid - pretty hard to sneak up on and get a shot. They were, after all, the second choice for the National Symbol after the Eagle..Although Ben Franklin was also well known for his sense of humor.

Tasty though.
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