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[theinevitable]

dude, she would hate everything about you and stomp on your 'nads.

Are you attracted to really annoying bitches? is that your thing? Even I think she's everything that's wrong with liberals.

"oh man, george bush... he's such a douche!/
I'm going to move to Canada... because he's a douche!/
He likes guns, and hates abortion, and muslims!/
he really likes jesus, but, he is a fake christian who is a dick!"

[Arachno-capitalist]

dude, she would hate everything about you and stomp on your 'nads.

Are you attracted to really annoying bitches? is that your thing? Even I think she's everything that's wrong with liberals.

I actually get along well with liberal women in real life. We just find each other so ridiculous that it makes things... jovial? Ani is just so silly. But we probably wouldnt talk politics while were wet in the shower together, that aint my style.

[littlefallsmets]

At one point, my girlfriend was listening to way too much Ani DiFranco and so I wrote an Ani DiFranco parody song. I don't remember the exact words, but it was about a girl whose boyfriend watched so much football that she had to leave him so she could eat pussy. Like, as if she had been completely straight until... like... the NFC Championship Game, which overloaded her circuits and flipped her lesbian switch from "stop" to "go".

I would definitely not want to shower with Fiona Apple. She's like, three pounds. Except for the skin tone and the pu$$y, she looks like one of those Ethiopian boys in the Sally Struthers commericals. I could start feeling guilty and wanna give her "just pennies a day" or something.

Ani DiFranco is mildly attractive but... yes... I have to imagine she freaks out at the sight of nards and just claws them off a dude.

And I kinda like my nards. They're useful.

Jessica Simpson's sorta cute in a big fake trashy kinda way. I'd shower with her but I'd quickly feel guilty about it. Sort of like if you were given a RealDoll as a gift: of course you'd fuck it once, just to see what fuck*ng it was like, but maaaaaaaaan after that you'd be so weirded out and ashamed that you'd have to bury it in the yard.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Jessica Simpson's sorta cute in a big fake trashy kinda way. I'd shower with her but I'd quickly feel guilty about it. Sort of like if you were given a RealDoll as a gift: of course you'd fuck it once, just to see what fuck*ng it was like, but maaaaaaaaan after that you'd be so weirded out and ashamed that you'd have to bury it in the yard.

Did you see the documentary about the Realdoll people? Man they are fuck*ng WEIRD. Id feel better if they were registered on some kind of list so Id know if i lived near one.

Also, these arent musicians Id marry, but they'd be fun in a shower. As opposed to Bob Dylan, I could dig on hanging out with him for awhile, but I would probably vomit if I had to ask him to hand me the shampoo.

[wombat]

As opposed to Bob Dylan, I could dig on hanging out with him for awhile, but I would probably vomit if I had to ask him to hand me the shampoo.

I BEG you, PLEASE STOP!

[littlefallsmets]

The idea of having a Real Doll just to pose and use as post-modern art... if you had the money to blow on that sort of thing... wouldn't really be all that bad. Again, you'd basically HAVE to fuck it once to see what it was like but... if after that, it was just a crazy conversation piece?

I could dig it.

But yeah. Those people don't just treat it like a piece of outsider art that they fucked once.

Names and backstories and fantasy worlds and stuff. Like a Cabbage Patch doll that grew up with a functional pussy.

Insanity.

[hammish]

I wish Mr. Bear would confirm my fantasitiosity.

I'm no Mr. Bear, but I hearby confirm your fantasticosity.

[dejavroom]

Those people don't just treat it like a piece of outsider art that they fucked once.

(...)

Insanity.

[AIDS-joke-monkey]Yeah, man, what gives.[/AJM]

[Toaster]

The was a segment on the HBO show Real Sex where the maker of the Real Dolls had these (very attractive) women come in and test out the new male Real Doll that he made (by which I mean, of course, they fucked it), and it was actually the exact opposite of weird, by which I mean that it is the kind of thing of which we need more in this world (plus, it was hot). And this got me thinking: if a woman owns a dildo, we applaud her for being Awesome, but if a man owns a Fleshlight, we shun him for being Creepy (it is at this point where the analogy becomes clear "female Real Doll : Fleshlight :: male Real Doll : dildo"). Here's the kicker: I don't think this double standard is wrong. I think it is an accurate descriptor of the natural order of things. Does this make me a misandrist? I have a feeling most people would agree with me. Does this make us all misandrists?

[Arachno-capitalist]

And this got me thinking: if a woman owns a dildo, we applaud her for being Awesome, but if a man owns a Fleshlight, we shun him for being Creepy

I wouldn't applaud a lady for owning a dildo, but I might giver her a hand.

ahhh...

[jaydub]

As opposed to Bob Dylan, I could dig on hanging out with him for awhile, but I would probably vomit if I had to ask him to hand me the shampoo.

I BEG you, PLEASE STOP!

Cans to both of you for making tears squirt out of my eyes

[nDed]

In other news, college has not made me a better person.

[AugustWest]

I wouldn't applaud a lady for owning a dildo, but I might giver her a hand.

ahhh...

Ba-dump-bump!

[robot_god]

At one point, my girlfriend was listening to way too much Ani DiFranco and so I wrote an Ani DiFranco parody song. I don't remember the exact words, but it was about a girl whose boyfriend watched so much football that she had to leave him so she could eat pussy. Like, as if she had been completely straight until... like... the NFC Championship Game, which overloaded her circuits and flipped her lesbian switch from "stop" to "go".

Excellent.

I mean, just the concept is a skewering enough, but if you actually wrote lyrics on paper, that is a Fatality.

[oball]

The idea of having a Real Doll just to pose and use as post-modern art... if you had the money to blow on that sort of thing... wouldn't really be all that bad.

We discussed this on another forum I post on a while back, and I had this idea:

I'd get about 50, all replicas of me, and leave them all over the house doing different things. One sitting watching TV, one doing gardening, one in the shower, one dressed as a butler next to the door, one in a cupboard with a knife in its chest.

It would creep the hell out of visitors.

Obviously, them being replicas of me, I wouldn't want to fuck them.