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[Formica]

It says that you and I think alike.  Also, am I the only one who wants to quibble about whether this is a dildo or a vibrator?  Two different things, people.  A dildo does not have batteries.

No, you are definitely not the only one, as my first thought upon seeing the vibrations was "dildoes do not vibrate". I learned this on the school bus, in fourth grade, from a very nice girl who apparently knew a thing or two about sex toys.

I don't remember her name, but I remember the education.

[iron_felix]

When I first saw the subject line on this thread, I assumed it would be ol' whats-his-name, Arrrrrrrrnold.

I think this is actually one of the few times I wouldn't mind seeing him come back.  But why would Aaaarthur need to pay to take advantage of the upgrade when he presumably already has Mr. Gary to dildo his coffee for him?

[Arachno-capitalist]

Do cats use human dildos? Im feeling like that might be painful. if they use cat dildos, do they have barbs?

[littlefallsmets]

My dad will argue up and down that Klingon dildoes would have barbs, you know.

This is only one of the ways my dad is Awesome.

[Doc]

Well it is apparently stuffed-tiger sized but my guess is that it is a human one, one of those tiny ones I guess. I assume the Underground society thinks things like these are just human foolishness, apart from guys like Nolan I guess.

Edit: Stop Repeating That Word

[linnea]

Five bucks says that Nolan From The Internet has sent Mr. Onstad a few ribald emails or ten billion, and this strip seems like pretty nice revenge on the freak.

[jay-ell]

No, you are definitely not the only one, as my first thought upon seeing the vibrations was "dildoes do not vibrate". I learned this on the school bus, in fourth grade, from a very nice girl who apparently knew a thing or two about sex toys.

I don't remember her name, but I remember the education.

I was just coming to this thread to post this very thing.  Well, not the part about a girl on the bus in fourth grade.  But the part about how dildoes don't vibrate. 

My work here is done. 

[wombat]

You can buy vibrating ones though, can't you? Or vibrators that are basically that shape?

And anyway, 'dildo' is a much funnier word than 'vibrator'.

[Ruta Bagas]

This is marketing. "Vibrator it" would sound ridiculous; go for "Vibrate it" and you might as well use an electric toothbrush. "Dildo it" is far more appealing.

If you're into that sort of thing from your brew, I mean.

Now if you'll excuse me, the coffee I am making for my mother is ready and I have to purge this from my brain before I bring her it to avoid life-long scarring.

[jay-ell]

I believe that a "vibrator" is an object that vibrates and was designed for sexual purpose and may or may not resemble a penis.  A "dildo" is an object used for insertion, regardless of whether it was intended for sexual purposes (e.g. a cucumber).  A "dong" is a dildo that is designed for a sexual purpose and also realistically resembles a penis, but my understanding is that dongs may also vibrate.  In this case it may be known as either a dong, a vibrator, or -- most accurately -- a vibrating dong. 

It appears that what Lyle has here is a standard slimline battery-powered vibrator -- so the phrase "dildo it!" is not exactly 100% truthful advertising.  Then again, what the hell does it mean to "Biggie Size!" something? 

I have to agree with Ruta, however, that "vibrator it!" sounds silly.  "Vibe it!," while catchy, might be a little too vague for your average perv.  "Dildo it!" allows for no misinterpretation. 

Good marketing: the cornerstone of all fetish salesmanship. 

[lprkn]

Five bucks says that Nolan From The Internet has sent Mr. Onstad a few ribald emails or ten billion, and this strip seems like pretty nice revenge on the freak.

Man, if so, that's pretty ill-advised. It would only encourage Nolan from the Internet.

Also, my feeling is that Lyle doesn't know or particularly care about the difference between a dildo and a vibrator. He's a businessman. He's all business, man.

[Ruta Bagas]

See, to me a "dildo" would be designed specifically as an artificial c*ck and a "dong" would only ever be an actual c*ck. I suspect these are terms whose use varies quite widely. Who knows what the prevailing definitions in the Underground are.

(For what it's worth, the OED online only has the meanings as I understand them, but its citations only go up to 1965 and 1956 respectively.)

[jay-ell]

See, to me a "dildo" would be designed specifically as an artificial c*ck and a "dong" would only ever be an actual c*ck. I suspect these are terms whose use varies quite widely. Who knows what the prevailing definitions in the Underground are.

(For what it's worth, the OED online only has the meanings as I understand them, but its citations only go up to 1965 and 1956 respectively.)

I've seen realistic dildoes in sex shops labeled as "dongs."  Right there on the packaging. 

They seem to almost always include testicles. 

[Ruta Bagas]

Apologies if my last post sounded like I was trying to be authoritative. It was more of a linguistic interest thing.

Although on further consideration it seems like a relatively simple business. Oh well.

It pleases me that Lyle's dilbratong changes in tone when dunked.

[Bobby Isosceles]

but my understanding is that dongs may also vibrate. 

Dongs do not vibrate, they fluctuate.