The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood "One of Your Shoes is By the Dog Food: A Tale of Things Not Worth Mentioning During Married Life," is out in September on Harper-Doubleday.

Pages: 1 2 3 [4]   Go Down

Author Topic: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?  (Read 13834 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #45 on: December 20, 2007, 10:31:37 pm »
To be fair, in this particular case, I don't know that the kid is going to be disadvantaged. Her aunty is a walking pile of cash.
Still, yeah, this.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

KeithHernandez

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1014
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3209
  • I am, again, Keith Hernandez
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #46 on: December 20, 2007, 11:06:39 pm »
More important things when raising a child then cash.
Logged
You say one day soon we will all stand as brothers, 'til then I guess we'll just stand around.

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #47 on: December 20, 2007, 11:59:51 pm »
This is true but there are enough kids having kids out there who live in complete poverty on top of dealing with all the bullshit in their social environment that I'm not going to worry too much about this one.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

Golfhaus

  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 116
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1625
  • He does not approve. Not at all.
    • View Profile
    • http://www.prolefeed.com
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #48 on: December 21, 2007, 12:21:22 am »
Quote from: Doc on December 20, 2007, 11:59:51 pm
This is true but there are enough kids having kids out there who live in complete poverty on top of dealing with all the bullshit in their social environment that I'm not going to worry too much about this one.

QFT. It's not like they're all mooching off of Britney, Jamie Lynn has been making enough bank of her own that her gestating spawn already has more money than I do. It may not guarantee quality parenting, but it does guarantee quality lots-of-other-stuff.
Logged

KeithHernandez

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1014
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3209
  • I am, again, Keith Hernandez
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #49 on: December 21, 2007, 01:20:09 am »
Like cocaine, and then we can take pictures of and talk shit about the baby in 20 years and all of these sick fucks will eat it up and be happy at other peoples misery. 

Logged
You say one day soon we will all stand as brothers, 'til then I guess we'll just stand around.

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #50 on: December 21, 2007, 04:20:53 am »
This is also true, but as someone who doesn't buy that kind of media, doesn't try to pimp people to that kind of media and is rather aggressively against that kind of media I've kind of exhausted the possibilities present under my non-interventionist morality.

Besides, maybe the kid will dig on snow.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

KeithHernandez

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1014
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3209
  • I am, again, Keith Hernandez
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #51 on: December 21, 2007, 04:27:57 am »
Yeah, that is a good point, but people should not be so happy about it.  I am not really pissed or anything, I just think it is a horrible way to spend your life and, possibly, the scummiest way to make a living.

Also, you saw what I was saying about the quote thing right?


Oh, and 29 I think, I don't remember, took it a couple days ago.  I think in real life I would either be way to freaked out to take out the kids, or, if I did, come on, I could take at least 50.
Logged
You say one day soon we will all stand as brothers, 'til then I guess we'll just stand around.

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #52 on: December 25, 2007, 10:54:22 pm »
I got 22, and if anyone didn't know, this the fallout from a semi-famous AskMetaFilter post asking this question. It's a good read. I should go find it.

For posterity/completeness.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #53 on: December 28, 2007, 08:51:52 pm »
33, bitches.

I'd totally use one as a weapon against the others, too.
Logged

Lister

  • Teodor
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 101
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 892
  • 2, 4, 6, 8, time to transubstantiate!
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #54 on: December 30, 2007, 05:46:13 am »
Quote from: jough on December 28, 2007, 08:51:52 pm
I'd totally use one as a weapon against the others, too.

I would too, but it would be by sowing dissention and thus eroding their collective resolve.
Logged
Lister.  Not that one, the other one.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #55 on: December 30, 2007, 04:22:53 pm »
Quote from: Lister on December 30, 2007, 05:46:13 am
I would too, but it would be by sowing dissention and thus eroding their collective resolve.

Dang, why didn't I think of that?
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #56 on: December 31, 2007, 12:11:13 am »
The whole time I was taking the test, I was wondering why there weren't any psychological tactics.  I work with children, so that is all I'm going to say about that.  Let's just say my number would probably be higher than the test goes if those sorts of things were factored in.
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #57 on: January 03, 2008, 09:28:38 pm »
I got 18, which I felt was pretty high actually, until I got here. 

You fuck*ng sickos. 

 ;)
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #58 on: January 07, 2008, 03:24:04 am »
With the writer's strike not ending anytime soon, I think I'm going to develop this idea as a TV reality series for NBC.

NBC's "How Many Five Year Olds Can You Take In A Fight?" hosted by Bob Goldthwait.
Logged

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: How many five year olds could you take in a fight?
« Reply #59 on: January 07, 2008, 04:22:11 am »
Maybe they could work it into that 'Kid Nation' show. I'm assuming they all ended going all Lord of the Flies by the end anyway.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'
Pages: 1 2 3 [4]   Go Up
« previous next »