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[littlefallsmets]

The Book of Revelation(s) is just comedy gold... I will read it two or three times a year, just as comical reading, and I never get tired of it. It just does not fail for easy laughs.

"The Exorcist" is to Beetlejuice as "Revelations" is to LFM.

Just keeps gettin' funnier.

[Doc]

I have a 90 year old great uncle who visits once or twice a year and will sit in the guest bedroom and read the news paper or revelations, and it's normally revelations. The weird thing is he's never really evangelical about it, he's given us time life videos on noah's ark once or twice but nothing over the top, he's comfortable with this sinful little world. Though I think he was kind of disappointed when the world didn't end when he predicted it would (2004).

[Arachno-capitalist]

I have a 90 year old great uncle who visits once or twice a year and will sit in the guest bedroom and read the news paper or revelations, and it's normally revelations. The weird thing is he's never really evangelical about it, he's given us time life videos on noah's ark once or twice but nothing over the top, he's comfortable with this sinful little world. Though I think he was kind of disappointed when the world didn't end when he predicted it would (2004).

So wait, every couple hundred days or so, this 90 year old man shows up to your house and just reads the last chapter of the bible to himself? If I live to be someones 90 year old relative, I need a routine like that to freak out the kids.

[side_show]

I already know that mine will be being that lady who talks to strangers on the bus about personal things.  That is my weird creepy eccentricity of the future.

[Doc]

So wait, every couple hundred days or so, this 90 year old man shows up to your house and just reads the last chapter of the bible to himself? If I live to be someones 90 year old relative, I need a routine like that to freak out the kids.

Yeah that's pretty much it. Then he tells the same jokes over dinner. Often multiple times in the same night.

[wombat]

I think that New Year's resolutions are too short-sighted.  Intead we should all decide what's going to be our creepy eccentricity when we are old people. It's good to plan ahead, right?

[jay-ell]

JL, did you just have to "read" it in order to get the prize, or actually demonstrate concepts or passages from the bible? Because I'm a fast reader, and I have actually read the entire Bible myself. I did not retain any of it because I just read it straight through.  If there had been quizzes or mandatory written synopses of each book, I would have actually learned something.

I just had to read it, but my parents sort of looked over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't skipping the begats.  I've forgotten large portions of what I once knew, but I'm still pretty well-versed (NPI), all things considered. 

I think that New Year's resolutions are too short-sighted.  Intead we should all decide what's going to be our creepy eccentricity when we are old people. It's good to plan ahead, right?

Womb@ does it again.  I love this idea. 

My gramma was the lady who talks to strangers about personal things.  It's one of the more endearing old-person eccentricities, I think.   

I'm going to be the crazy old person who lies to children about what things used to be like.  Like Grampa Simpson, but on purpose. 

"Back before the internet, we had to send messages the old-fashioned way...with pigeons!  PMs, we called them, for Pigeon Messaging.  Every family had at least one pigeon, most times two -- one for each parent, in case of an emergency.  Why, when your father was born, we sent a pigeon ahead of us to the hospital with the registration forms, and other to my mother to tell her to meet us there.  Except the pigeons went to the wrong places, and the hospital never got our forms!  When the errant pigeons finally did come home, we had some fine roast squab for dinner.  It was the first meat we'd had in ages, after the Mad Cow and the Bird Flu wiped out most of the domestic beef and chicken populations..."

[Doc]

I always figured I'd just buy liquour in brown paper bags wear rumpled suits and sit on the back seat of a bus in vaguely lewd positions.

[jay-ell]

I always figured I'd just buy liquour in brown paper bags wear rumpled suits and sit on the back seat of a bus in vaguely lewd positions.

Can'd for making me imagine what a "vaguely lewd position" looks like. 

it looks like comic gold

[smick]

You know, I went to the Lolcat Bible link and grooved on the Genesis 1.  I thought that was the whole joke, as well it could have been.

But no.  Somebody out there spends his time translating Habakkuk and 2 Timothy into Lolcat.

It is a seriously fucked up world.

Well, admittedly, mine is not... your usual ministry.   I'd like to think that God speaks to everyone in his own way.  Everyone can haz his love.  Everyone can haz.

[pmcd9]

That quote from reverend lolcat makes me believe that LOLcat bible is a serious endeavor.  That is terrifying.

[KeithHernandez]

http://www.slate.com/id/2179370

Economics.


Also, first response, which I think is a great idea:


This kind of "punishment" for not doing 200 push-ups is interesting, but you haven't taken it far enough. After all, by doing your 200 push-ups (a good thing for you), you are also taking away $100 from what you have described as a "hugely deserving charity." ("Whew, glad they didn't get my money this week.") Conversely, if you slack off, you get a feeling of undeserved charity for having NOT done your push-ups. ("Not doing my push-ups was my chance to make sure I made a solid donation to a favorite charity during the holiday season.") If you really want to motivate yourself, the object of your charity should be an organization you DON'T approve of. E.g., if you're a Democrat, have them send your money to the national Republican Party if you fall short on your push-ups. ("I sure don't want those bastards to get my money.") Then, having done your push-ups, you can take the money you haven't sent to the RNC and give it to your own favorite charity instead.

[Arachno-capitalist]

http://www.slate.com/id/2179370

Economics.

Economics can make everyone a better person. Economics for everyone, prison for some!

[melack]

This whole new years resolution to stop biting my nails thing is working out a little too well. I just had to use a nail clipper for the first time in probably over a decade. I felt like I was trying to give myself a fuck*ng haircut. Luckily, though, I made it through with all my fingers still firmly attached to my hands -- and not a drop of blood in sight! So that's good.

[side_show]

Hey, good job Melack.  Just think how terrifying it must be to trim a newborn baby's nails.  That shit scares me.

My plan for better oral hygiene is working out pretty good too.  I'm still using the traditional brush.  My gums don't seem to bleed when I brush now, which is good.  I still sort of want that fancy tooth brush though.  I do worry about brushing technique - how do I know if I'm brushing too hard?  Do I need to spend a $100 on an electronic brush that will tell me this?  If a tooth brush gives advice on tooth brushing, why can't it give some life advice too?  Like, you know, when you finish up and the time is up it just gives you a simple suggestion for the day: drink 8 glasses of water, hug someone who needs it, don't use the public washroom at the park, etc.  Just a little nugget of helpfullness with the rest of your day.  If it did this I would be much more into spending so much money on it.