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No, Philippe! Too soon!

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Author Topic: Meet the Parents!  (Read 3564 times)

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Asherdan

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Meet the Parents!
« on: January 25, 2008, 04:06:37 pm »
« Last Edit: August 25, 2017, 05:38:31 pm by Asherdan »
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2008, 04:36:35 pm »
Make up a bunch of ridiculously-scary stories about drug experiences and tell them to your kid's friends. This way, you can be "cool" in their eyes while still basically telling yourself that you are full-on helping them out in a way that a parent would.

This is what my dad did.
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theinevitable

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2008, 07:14:33 pm »
hm.

I somehow immediately charmed the parents of all the girls I ever dated. They all loved me, man. Apparently the mom of my second girlfriend, who I made a joke about thongs in front of, and I was pretty sure she thought I was garbage, has asked her multiple times if she thinks we'll get back together, since we go to the same college now.

that was such a fun time, though. I basically ran out of their house after saying that because she looked so enraged...
and then that night, we walked back in, and "holy fuck, how pissed was your mom when I said that thing about thongs??"
and she was standing right there. oops.

one time my girlfriend whose mom was an insane bitch told her mom that I thought she was an insane bitch, and I wasn't allowed in their house for a few weeks.

but yeah, not really any stories about first times meeting people.
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CortJstr

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2008, 08:02:53 pm »
I was basically a rebound/safety guy so compared the previous boyfriend I was captain wonderful. Then two months later we broke up and the girl would date another jerk.
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side_show

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2008, 10:41:31 pm »
Come to terms with the fact that you will embarrass the kid and yourself, it will happen, over and over, so make your peace with it.  There is no avoiding it.  When dealing with the tweens and teens, I normally open with a bit of self deprecating humour, then move on to treating them like they're right on my level.  My friend with three teens is a cool mom because she's honest, loves them, and swears.   So if all else fails, casual swearing helps.  Also taking an interest in some actual aspect of pop culture really helps too.
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theinevitable

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2008, 11:34:37 pm »
I love my parents, but I do not think they are cool. Mostly because... I don't really think your parents should be cool, you know? Your parents are your parents. They love and support you, and set boundaries when you need them, up to a point. But... they're my parents. They are not my friends, nor should they try to be?

They are awesome, but they are not Cool.
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Doc

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2008, 11:42:11 pm »
Yeah parents can't be cool* (though I wonder if this rule may be subverted in this instance due to your specific relationship with the Boy). To contradict sMels I doubt even taking interesting pop culture can help as I recall for my little brother (and probably myself though I was never as into the culture that was popular) the only thing more embarassing than parents being completely ignorant of pop culture was parents trying to be hip to it. Teenagers have far more brain space to devote to this knowledge than you ever will and less than a perfect grasp is failure.

*in the eyes of their teenage child, say from 13 to 17 , it's just a thing.

Quote from: Asherdan on January 25, 2008, 11:38:59 pm
glad this difference doesn't seem to matter to The Boy. Or anyone else who matters.

You raise 'em right Ashy-D. If it does come up maybe start a conversation on the subject with some screenings of classics like Dolemite and Cleopatra Jones.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2008, 02:59:32 am by Doc »
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Golfhaus

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2008, 12:29:22 am »
My girlfriends' parents all loved me. My first serious girlfriend (who broke up with me and then promptly let her life fall apart) caught up with me a few years later, and invited me over to the house. Her parents were stoked to see me. When I walked through their kitchen, I noticed that their copy of our picture from prom was framed, on their kitchen mantle, and in front of a picture of her with her husband (whom she was divorcing at the time) and their kid, which was tucked into the frame of the mirror.

That was nice.
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theinevitable

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2008, 12:53:33 am »
yeah, my parents still had a picture of me with my second girlfriend, the only one they met and liked, sitting in our living room.
When I was home, I decided that I disliked that and took it out and put it in the back of the frame, behind a picture of me with my prom date from sophomore year (older woman! woo hoo!)
 
(they would have liked the most recent one, but never met her.)

although maybe I am only imagining that she was the only one they liked, as recently I made a comment about how horrible my first girlfriend was, and they reacted with shock.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2008, 02:24:11 am »
Quote from: theinevitable on January 25, 2008, 11:34:37 pm
I love my parents, but I do not think they are cool. Mostly because... I don't really think your parents should be cool, you know? Your parents are your parents. They love and support you, and set boundaries when you need them, up to a point. But... they're my parents. They are not my friends, nor should they try to be?

They are awesome, but they are not Cool.

In their own way, your parents are almost certainly more cool than you. I know mine are cooler than I am.
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smick

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2008, 05:34:46 pm »
The boy's 12th birthday party was yesterday.  He had a bunch of friends over for the night.   I had the realization while I was watching them that these would likely be the guys he's around when they're teen knuckleheads going to school stuff, or out getting into trouble.

I'm pretty ok with all of them.
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theinevitable

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2008, 08:57:57 pm »
man, good job. I am glad that your kid can tell you that you didn't embarrass him.
I think my brother would have turned bright red, and not responded. Also, acted like it was incredibly rude to ask.

that kid is having some kind of issue where he thinks no one has any reason to want to know about his life.

but yeah, I am always glad when I like people's parents. I like seeing where the people I like come from. I was kind of sad that when my parents came, for some reason they didn't get to meet any of my friends other than my roommates, and even one of those wasn't there.
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Social pressures exist
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You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Doc

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2008, 11:21:33 pm »
Good to hear Ash, your doing good I think.
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jaydub

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2008, 01:41:47 am »
Quote from: theinevitable on January 27, 2008, 08:57:57 pm
that kid is having some kind of issue where he thinks no one has any reason to want to know about his life.
This is particularly weird when the same kid (not necessarily your bro) later beats his breast over "no one gives a shit about me" and "you have no idea what sort of bullshit I have to deal with".

People are distressingly irrational.
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theinevitable

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Re: Meet the Parents!
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2008, 01:49:44 am »
no. he is completely like... a spartan. He doesn't want anyone to know about his problems, or that he has a girlfriend, how he does in school, nothing.
He goes to school all day, then does homework for a few hours, dinner, several hours of basketball practice, shower, more homework, sleep. Then repeat. When he has free time, he is so wiped out that he just wants to sit on the couch silently and watch TV.

But, at the same time, I have a problem where I am bad at seeing beyond people's facades to how they actually feel.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind
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