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[Arachno-capitalist]

So we fired Willie Randolph in the middle of the night on the west coast, after he just won 3 out of 4 games... wtf ever. What a torturous time to be a mets fan.

[littlefallsmets]

Okay, y'all.

Hockey and basketball are done and golf don't count without that one guy playing.

Time to get back in the fantasy baseball pool! The water is AWESOME.

[iron_felix]

Now would also be a good time to point out that you only need to come in sixth to make the playoffs in September.  Right now there's about the same number of games between second place and third as there are between third place and tenth, so if you're not one of those top two teams it might seem tempting to just let everything run on autopilot, but in reality nobody's out of contention yet by a long shot.

Last year's final was between the third-place team and the fifth-place team.  Keith's team finished the season with a losing record and he still managed to win a trophy at the end.

The main reason I'm saying this is that if too many people start leaving injured players in their lineups or forgetting to move pitchers off their bench when they have a start, it makes the whole league a lot less fun for everybody.  Yahoo lets you adjust those things several days in advance, so you don't need to check up on your team every day to keep that from happening.  This hasn't really been so much of a thing yet in this league, but I have started to notice it and I'd like to get this out now before the summer starts to drag on and apathy sets in.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Speaking of injuries, I have a fuckload of them.  One of the few ways in which my fantasy team parallels my favorite MLB team.

[littlefallsmets]

Not to mention that despite my recent success, my team is held together with, like, bailing wire and spit and could stop producing at any given moment. They are just waiting to throw a Mets-style collapse at me and... you could profit off of this, Fantasy People!

[littlefallsmets]

Oh yeah, my pitching is... not looking good this week.

It's partly Marcum going on the DL but I think it's partly my team pitching just being really up and down.

I might have to reconfigure my pitching "plan", actually, maybe go to a four-reliever scheme.

[littlefallsmets]

I blew an entire week by not noticing that Sabathia was going to start today.

An entire geedee week.

I... just wanted to get this off my chest here.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

[littlefallsmets]

Yeah but... I would'a CLINCHED ERA, WHIP and K had he been in there.

Now we gotta dogfight for two days to see whose pitching sucks less.

Also: oh yeah, the ol' Come Dempster... dude burned me as a reliever a few times last year, too.

[littlefallsmets]

Well done, Cheddar Crooks... a dogfight in pitching as expected.

Up next, the Bananas in Pajamas who... have an entire All-Star team on the DL, uncanny.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Yeah, it's getting a little out of control.  Magglio the latest to go down.  Nobody on target to come off real soon, maybe Furcal by the weekend.

In Washington yesterday, Ronnie Belliard BONED YOUR MOM.  I sat through 12 innings of rooting for the Nats' miserable line-up, which included such luminaries as Kory Casto, Pete Orr, and Wil Nieves.  And with two outs and two strikes in the bottom of the 12th, bang, game-winner. 

No matter how shitty your team is, there will be at least a few days that good over the course of the season.

[Carlos del Vaca]

More injuries!  My catcher went on the DL with a testicular fracture!

[jaydub]

Gah! This happened to a friend of mine when we were 10.  His happened after he fell off a hoss and it stepped on him (fracturing both and splitting the scrotum open to boot).  We were visiting another friend on a station near the outback, and it took 2 hours for an ambulance to arrive.  My mom was a trauma nurse fortunately, and kept him from going into shock while keeping the swelling down with ice packs.  I recall that the testicles survived - but I wonder whether it rendered him sterile. 

[Golfhaus]

More injuries!  My catcher went on the DL with a testicular fracture!

Gives new meaning to the phrase "bust a nut."

[Lister]

I have only recently stopped repeating "ow" in relation to this thread.

Geeze.

[Ruta Bagas]

I once read a story about a chap who dislocated his leg at the hip and had it popped back in such that it trapped his testicle.

I'm confident that's anatomically impossible but I still didn't appreciate the thought.