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I get so lonely up here. You never write, you never call.

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Author Topic: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid  (Read 7154 times)

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theinevitable

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2008, 04:31:04 pm »
about a dozen times, someone has told me "oh man, DB, have you seen those commercials about Restless Leg Syndrome? Just like your radio show! Oh man! It's for this crazy pill, it's supposed to make it go away! haha!"
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Choop

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2008, 10:22:36 pm »
yeah well
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JorgeFabregas

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2008, 10:05:04 pm »
Quote from: Choopernickel on March 22, 2008, 10:22:36 pm
yeah well
Exactly. It's a real shame that anyone who isn't on the cutting edge would want to discuss common interests.
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Choop

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #18 on: March 27, 2008, 12:07:37 am »
amazing how the right two words actually can portray the exact meaning intended, even on an intertube
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JorgeFabregas

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #19 on: March 27, 2008, 01:03:27 am »
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #20 on: March 27, 2008, 11:56:32 am »
Quote from: JorgeFabregas on March 27, 2008, 01:03:27 am
Turbo Ninja already said it all. http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,3622.msg110347.html#msg110347

Not only is his too long and overwrought, but it demonstrates your collective ability to suborn empathy for vitriol superbly. Imagine that family member, the one that just discovered e-mail recently, who sends you a melange of glurge e-mails, chain forwards, and delightfully funny messages like "If Cars were more like Computers" or "Why Beer is Better than Women." You know, the stuff that was funny when you first saw it in alt.jokes.* in 1990 on your snazzy new graphical NNTP reader on a NeXT cube, but just grates after the 60th time.

Now imagine the same, except applied to:
* bacon
* pre-cooked individually wrapped bacon (won't try it)
* jalepeno cheese smoked bacon (not good)
* bacon candy (ick)
* bacon lollipops (tasty)
* bacon chocolate bars (overrated)
* bacon coffee (tastes more like maple)
* bacon salt (delicious)
* bacon/liquid smoke flavored beer (rauchsbier)
* bacon inflused vodka (making it this year)
* bacon bandages (wore one)
* bacon pinstripe suit (sadly a hoax)
* bacon foster/flambe (use black seal rum)
* deep fried bacon (yes)
* beer battered deep fried bacon (double yes)
* bacon wontons (nothing to write home about)
* bacon cookies (delicious)
* bacon ice cream (addictive)
* bacon wrapped scallops (also addictive)
* bacon wrapped figs (not so much)
* bacon cheesecake (my idea)
* bacon fat for soap making (a yearly thing for me, stolen from blacktable.com)
* bacon fat for salad dressing (via alton brown)
* smoke your own bacon! (also via alton brown)
* caffinated bacon (tried; failed)
* the mythical allure of eating uncooked pancetta (it's possible)
* Cat and Girl/Bacon is the reason to get up in the morning (turned down an offer for advertising in exchange for promotion)
* Diesel Sweeties/Bacon is a vegetable (never got back to me)
* Achewood/Bacon of the Month Club (Chris actually put me in touch with the gratefulpalate guy, thanks)
* that animated GIF of a washroom hand dryer/PUSH BUTTON RECEIVE BACON
* Omnivore's Dilemma/Polyface Farms (they dont have enough bacon but offered sausage)
* the Bacon Brothers
* Wendys'/BACONATOR
* Kevin Bacon (and any degrees connected thereof)
* Roger Bacon (a man who literally died for TOMORROW: CHICKEN)
* Francis Bacon

Multiply this by anyone who thinks "Hey! Horace Hexahedron! You're that bacon guy! You would like to hear about:

* bacon
* pre-cooked individually wrapped bacon
* jalepeno cheese smoked bacon
* bacon candy
* bacon lollipops
* bacon chocolate bars
* bacon coffee
* bacon salt
* bacon/liquid smoke flavored beer
* bacon inflused vodka
* bacon bandages
* bacon pinstripe suit
* bacon foster/flambe
* deep fried bacon
* beer battered deep fried bacon
* bacon wontons
* bacon cookies
* bacon ice cream
* bacon wrapped scallops
* bacon wrapped figs
* bacon cheesecake
* bacon fat for soap making
* bacon fat for salad dressing
* smoke your own bacon!
* caffinated bacon
* the mythical allure of eating uncooked pancetta
* Cat and Girl/Bacon is the reason to get up in the morning
* Diesel Sweeties/Bacon is a vegetable
* Achewood/Bacon of the Month Club
* that animated GIF of a washroom hand dryer/PUSH BUTTON RECEIVE BACON
* Omnivore's Dilemma/Polyface Farms
* the Bacon Brothers
* Wendys'/BACONATOR
* Kevin Bacon
* Roger Bacon
* Francis Bacon

Wouldn't 'cha!  I'm sure you would!"

and I say "Thanks, I've already heard it!"

And they respond with:

"No, seriously, you'd LOVE this, cause it's about:

* bacon
* pre-cooked individually wrapped bacon
* jalepeno cheese smoked bacon
* bacon candy
* bacon lollipops
* bacon chocolate bars
* bacon coffee
* bacon salt
* bacon/liquid smoke flavored beer
* bacon inflused vodka
* bacon bandages
* bacon pinstripe suit
* bacon foster/flambe
* deep fried bacon
* beer battered deep fried bacon
* bacon wontons
* bacon cookies
* bacon ice cream
* bacon wrapped scallops
* bacon wrapped figs
* bacon cheesecake
* bacon fat for soap making
* bacon fat for salad dressing
* smoke your own bacon!
* caffinated bacon
* the mythical allure of eating uncooked pancetta
* Cat and Girl/Bacon is the reason to get up in the morning
* Diesel Sweeties/Bacon is a vegetable
* Achewood/Bacon of the Month Club
* that animated GIF of a washroom hand dryer/PUSH BUTTON RECEIVE BACON
* Omnivore's Dilemma/Polyface Farms
* the Bacon Brothers
* Wendys'/BACONATOR
* Kevin Bacon
* Roger Bacon
* Francis Bacon

and I know you LOVE that stuff so much!!!!"


LOOK PEOPLE I AM THE RICHARD FEYNMAN OF BACON AND JUST LIKE THE GREAT PHYSICIST, I CAN'T TALK SHOP ALL THE TIME. THEREFORE, WHEN I AM NOT ACTIVELY MANNING THE SUPERCONDUCTING BACON COLLIDER I JUST WANT TO PLAY THE BONGOS AND BREAK INTO SAFES AND  TALK TO STRIPPERS IN BARS.*



* Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!
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wombat

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #21 on: March 27, 2008, 12:23:36 pm »
Are you planning a trip to Tuva also?  I wonder how the bacon is there.
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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #22 on: March 27, 2008, 12:27:58 pm »
The thing I'm puzzling over is how Bobby has gone from the guy that brought us the Cockrub Warriors to apparently being viewed as some bacon elitist.
For what it's worth Bobby when I think of you I think of cocks, not bacon.
Speaking of which I've got a recipe for caffeinated cock around here somewhere....
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JorgeFabregas

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #23 on: March 27, 2008, 12:40:38 pm »
When a man plies a trade, people want to talk with him about his trade. That's his lot in life.
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AugustWest

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #24 on: March 27, 2008, 04:45:45 pm »
I have a coffee cup full of reserved bacon grease that I use to cook with.  It's something I learned from my mother.
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smick

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #25 on: March 27, 2008, 04:49:54 pm »
Hey Oliver Octogon,

You failed to mention Morningstar Farms - Veggie Bacon strips
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #26 on: March 27, 2008, 05:00:33 pm »
Quote from: smick on March 27, 2008, 04:49:54 pm
Hey Oliver Octogon,

You failed to mention Morningstar Farms - Veggie Bacon strips

One of my exes used to love those until I pointed out to her that EVERY STRIP WAS EXACTLY THE SAME. She got creeped out by that after that fact and never ate it again.

ps. vegan? what are you, toast?
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Choop

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #27 on: March 27, 2008, 05:37:25 pm »
for what it's worth, robbie rhomboid, i don't give a shit if you've heard of it. i picked that thread title to inform the rest of the people here that this would be a thread that has something to do with one of your apparently infinite areas of expertise. and how do you react?
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Indeed, and another been-there-done-that epic fail.

but whatever. you're an "INTERNET CELEBRITY WITH INCLUDED DOMAIN NAME" so obviously you're the sole arbiter of fail versus win on this internet.

take a fu*king clue and get over your own ego
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #28 on: March 27, 2008, 05:44:50 pm »
I once saw Alan Alda in a one-man show about Feynman.

I now want to see Alan Alda in a one-man show about Bobby.
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Re: Attn: Timmy Trapezoid
« Reply #29 on: March 28, 2008, 03:52:28 am »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on March 27, 2008, 05:44:50 pm
I once saw Alan Alda in a one-man show about Feynman.

I now want to see Alan Alda in a one-man show about Bobby.

I'd pay to see either of those.
I'd pay even more to see both at once.
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