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@achewood My bicycle is parked in the living room. A tub of tartar sauce sits open on the counter. Truly, the evidence of a wife being away too long.

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Author Topic: Nuts to you!  (Read 12067 times)

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wombat

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #45 on: April 15, 2008, 02:06:20 am »

Much like pork ribs are just a BBQ sauce delivery system.

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littlefallsmets

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #46 on: April 15, 2008, 03:01:32 am »

I eat Oreoes in this fashion:

I eat the lids off two Oreos and push them together to create an impromptu Double-Stuff.

I then eat the lid off that stack and another single and try to get three Stuffs together.

And then four and then five and so on.

Only when I can no longer stack Stuffs do I finally eat the whole thing.

It is just like Jenga except with terrifyingly unhealthy food.
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jay-ell

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #47 on: April 15, 2008, 01:18:15 pm »

Gah, LFM, that is like my nightmare version of what an Oreo could be if allowed to wander unfettered. 

I'm with wombles to a degree -- I do in fact eat the middles, but I don't pull my Oreos apart.  I jam a fork between the cookies (the Stuf forms a convenient paste) and use that to dunk the entire cookie into milk.  This prevents the unfortunate un-milked bit without requiring getting one's fingers milky. 

I bought Spring themed Oreos (again, in an attempt to get my son to try something mostly-familiar-but-slightly-different) and found that they were mega-gross on account of being unexpectedly 1.5x Stuf'd. 

Then again, I don't like cake because of the frosting, so...maybe I'm not the best guide to Oreos. 
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Pedro Picasso

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #48 on: April 15, 2008, 01:19:37 pm »

* Open the cookie
* Eat the side that has the most frosting
* Drop the other side on the table/chair/floor
* If frosting came off on your finger, wipe it on the table/chair/floor
* Step on the half cookie remains and run into the carpet.

I don't think my son likes Oreos.  I think he just likes making me insane.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #49 on: April 15, 2008, 01:57:35 pm »

Huh, I see Ernie as the asshole.  He stole Bert's cookie and then lied to his face.  Bert was trying to be patient with Ernie (even though he's been fucked over by him countless times) and the reward for his patience is he gets fucked over again.

Ernie is pretty much constantly an asshole.  Nine segments out of ten, his sole mission is to piss off Bert.  He's also frequently inconsiderate to Big Bird; I can't tell you how many shows feature Ernie coming to play with Big Bird, then he totally takes over the terms of the play and leaves Big Bird feeling miserable, until a grown-up suggests Big Bird confront Ernie about it.

Now, Cookie Monster's no role model either, but his weakness is simply that he loves cookies too much.  Nothing sinister behind it.
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theinevitable

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #50 on: April 15, 2008, 02:54:30 pm »

how dare you say that ernie is an asshole. how dare you.
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jay-ell

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #51 on: April 15, 2008, 03:59:22 pm »

Ash likes meanness.  Duly noted. 

Today I found half an Oreo on the TV stand, just to the left of the TV.  No idea how long it's been there. 
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Pedro Picasso

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #52 on: April 15, 2008, 06:57:14 pm »

Bert has a lot in common with Pat.  The difference being Pat tries to enforce his neuroses on everyone else, while Bert just enjoys them. 

Ernie is a free-spirit to the point of ass-holery, but I'm not sorry for Bert.  He needs that.  He needs someone to exasperate him just as Ernie needs someone to antagonize. 

B&E's relationship is not romantic in any way as neither has a lower half.
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Pedro Picasso

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #53 on: April 15, 2008, 07:00:59 pm »

Now, Cookie Monster's no role model either, but his weakness is simply that he loves cookies too much.  Nothing sinister behind it.

I've come to consider Cookie Monster as elected leader and official ambassador of the S.St. monsters.  He seems to embody all that it means to be a monster while still being able to set limits and work with the non-monster community.  Contrast Harry who is a bit too monstrous and Grover who is barely a monster at all.

...the end of this book notwithstanding.
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smick

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #54 on: April 15, 2008, 07:30:58 pm »

Back when I used to work Graveyards at a Taco Bell, I used to make a cup of half root beer, and half Mountain Dew.  I would then drop an Oreo in, and let it soak up a bit of the soda.  I'd then giraffe out the soggy blob and drop it in my mouth.

Somehow I escaped diabetes.
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Choop

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #55 on: April 15, 2008, 08:07:41 pm »

Back when I used to work Graveyards at a Taco Bell, I used to make a cup of half root beer, and half Mountain Dew.  I would then drop an Oreo in, and let it soak up a bit of the soda.  I'd then giraffe out the soggy blob and drop it in my mouth.

Somehow I escaped diabetes.

most disgusting foodstuff-related post 2008
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KeithHernandez

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #56 on: April 15, 2008, 08:14:20 pm »

The holy trinity of fast food (one of the grossest in that category even), soda, and packaged baked goods. 

I kind of want to throw up remembering times I consumed those things separately even.
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Victoria Waterfield

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #57 on: April 15, 2008, 08:47:20 pm »

...the end of this book notwithstanding.

A tiny little can for that tiny little message.
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side_show

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #58 on: April 15, 2008, 10:16:28 pm »

The holy trinity of fast food (one of the grossest in that category even), soda, and packaged baked goods. 

I kind of want to throw up remembering times I consumed those things separately even.

Agreed.  I hate post consumption regret.  Thinking "ewwww... why did I eat that?"

In regard to Bert:  come-on people, he has an off screen, anticipatory monologue about the cookies, and the ass has had so many previous run ins with Bert being unable to controle his id that the jerk was totally testing him.

Also, Victoria, on Piaget thing: yes.  Jim Henson is basically a genius, and it's just so perfect how Ernie first tries to nibble it to make it look the right shape again, then tries to rearrange the cookies to make them somehow look like there's still five.  I did the same with the hard crunchy kind of cheesies my mom left out that weren't for me.  I'd start by nibbling them at the ends in ways that made them hopefully look like they hadn't been eaten, just broken in the package, then I'd eat one or two hoping she wouldn't notice, then it would get out of controle and I would have to actually eat some, then I would obsessively rearrage them to make them in an attempt to make them look like there was still as many.  Then the accusations. Then the lies.
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Golfhaus

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Re: Nuts to you!
« Reply #59 on: April 15, 2008, 10:35:35 pm »

Here's how I eat Oreo's:

1) Open mouth
2) Insert Oreo
3) Close mouth
4) Chew

I've done the improvised-Double-Stuf that LFM mentioned too. That's always a good time.

I love the mint ones, the chocolate ones... the ones dipped in fudge... there's a CUNT one out right now that I love. Me and Oreo's... we're like this.
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