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[theinevitable]

For example: Young Americans by David Bowie is the best white-soul album ever, you can shove Van Morrison up your arse!

you did NOT just diss on Van Morrison.

you did not.

[Ben-San]

An explanation of some slang!

Ohh. For the record I didn't feel particularly insulted even thinking it was the other thing; I take a certain amount of pride in my metaphorical neckbeard (also in my literal one).

I think if I'd actually seen the text "Football Manager is the best approximately-text-based-game (you can shove The Hobbit up your ass)" I would've gotten the gist. However, I guess I am the sort who when seeing something about hobbits being shoved up asses assumes the worst.

[Ruta Bagas]

The real question is, would we rather shove a hobbit, The Hobbit or The Hobbit up our arses?

Actually, no, it isn't. That's an easy question.

Forget I (internet) spoke.

[lprkn]

Or, if you're The Rock, "I'll take that hobbit, shine that sum' bitch up real nice, turn it sideways, and shove it straight up your candy ass."

Although what he would be doing reading our little board I haven't the faintest idea.

Probably telling all to have a nice tall frosty glass of shut the-hell-up juice, take a ride down Jabroni Ave., check into the Smackdown Hotel, and to know our role and shut our mouths.

As one of the millions (and millions) of the Rock's fans, I've gotta say I liked him better when he stuck to rasslin'.

[CortJstr]

As on of the millions (and millions) of the Rock's fans, I've gotta say I liked him better when he stuck to rasslin'.

Or at least cutting promos. His HOF speech was good, even it if did piss people off.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I've always heard the phrase "shove it up your ass" used to convey anger and resentment towards either the object or the person who is being directed to do the shoving. 

When I was temping many years ago, I pulled something off the fax machine and took it to the intended recipient.  "Hey Paul, this fax came in for you.  Want do you want me to do with it?"

His reply was "I want you to roll it up into a little tube and shove it up your ass." 

(Being relatively new there, I was somewhat taken aback.  But that's just how he was and he actually meant nothing personal by it.)

[Drygioni]

you did NOT just diss on Van Morrison.

you did not.

Are you kidding, he's my favourite guy ever.

Saw him perform in the local Jazz festival recently, and tomorrow I will be playing a jazz-ensemble rendition of Moondance at said festival.

As well a James Bond song

Also, I'm glad you understand Ben-San (and envy your ability to grow a neckbeard), but I must also apologise for quite catastrophically de-railing your thread.

[Ben-San]

Also, I'm glad you understand Ben-San (and envy your ability to grow a neckbeard), but I must also apologise for quite catastrophically de-railing your thread.

If I wanted to post a thread about a video game and not have it end up being about Van Morrison and hobbit-ass-shoving there are plenty of venues already on the Internet for such a thing.

[jaydub]

..."Hey Paul, this fax came in for you.  Want do you want me to do with it?"
His reply was "I want you to roll it up into a little tube and shove it up your ass." 

Yep, that's the correct application.  It takes skill to pull it off without prompting a fight. 

[littlefallsmets]

I am so "eh" on Van Morrison that I have never taken the time to dig any deeper.

Sell me. Sell me on this dude belonging even in the same ballpark as El Thin White Duke.

[Victoria Waterfield]

I am so "eh" on Van Morrison that I have never taken the time to dig any deeper.

Sell me. Sell me on this dude belonging even in the same ballpark as El Thin White Duke.

Read this right now.

[theinevitable]

one of my future roommate is interesting in that basically all he listens to is older avant-garde noisy stuff (john cage etc), surf rock, country, and Van Morrison.

Bowie almost never does anything for me.

[Drygioni]

I am so "eh" on Van Morrison that I have never taken the time to dig any deeper.

Sell me. Sell me on this dude belonging even in the same ballpark as El Thin White Duke.

Van Morrison is one of the few music-men who really make me feel. Astral Weeks is an absolutely astounding album, and that piece says a lot more about it than I ever could.

The Bowsta is another one of those men, right up until Ashes to Ashes nearly every song he did, no matter how superficial it would sound done by someone else, has a kind of 'Bowie-ness' that is instantly appealing.

Both possessing great voices and backing bands too, which are the real clinchers.

ALSO: Van Morrison is the only white guy I've ever heard who could really, really do soul. Shane McGowan agrees with me.

[theinevitable]

ALSO: Van Morrison is the only white guy I've ever heard who could really, really do soul.

I will be able to die happy once someone explains this phenomenon to me. What the hell does it mean for someone to sound "white?"
I can pick it up within a second of listening, but I can't tell you at all what it means. This is why I don't like Nerdcore hip hop, for instance. Or "Mr Sandman."

What is it about Whititude which makes us so apparently unfunky? The book The Autograph Man, in which the main guy is writing a book of what is Goyish and what is Jewish, makes me think it's not a Black/White thing as much as a Westernized White Protestant/Not thing.

I mean, I guess all I have to fall back on is the whole repressed emotional lifestyle which is our heritage? I am thinking about how Japanese pop music, also, sounds very White to me. Whereas a majority of the other cultures in the world, which seem much Louder and less embarrassed to be alive in terms of their day-to-day activities, do not sound White.

I feel like I am skirting around the edges of what it is OK to say, and skirting around the edges of something I'm missing which explains this.


also: Van Morrison was the first music I heard in the world. Not in any kind of weird metaphorical way, in a way where my mom wouldn't listen to anything but Moondance at the time of my birth.

[Drygioni]

I will be able to die happy once someone explains this phenomenon to me. What the hell does it mean for someone to sound "white?"
I can pick it up within a second of listening, but I can't tell you at all what it means. This is why I don't like Nerdcore hip hop, for instance. Or "Mr Sandman."

Exactly, this is what I mean. I know I'm straying dangerously close to racism here, but Van Morrison is one of the few white men I can listen to singing and 'imagine' it coming from a black soul singer in the mould of Al Green or Marvin Gaye DESPITE the fact that his accent is in reality very different from them.

This might just be some sort of psychological thing, though. It's an undeniably widespread cliche that, true or not, black men have more musical 'soul' than white men, and so naturally we subconsciously consider this when listening to music. It's like, if I have already decided I don't like a band, it's very difficult for me to like the song, as I've already reached a subconscious conclusion and with music being so subjective it of course actually DOES change my opinion of the song for the worse.

So, when I listen to Mr Marvin Gaye, I've already reached a musical conclusion that it is going to be 'properly' soulful due to all those cliches, and this is how I consider the music from then on.

As for Van Morrison; I actually thought he was black when I first listened to him, for whatever reason, and the fact that there is another cliche backing this up (Van Morrison is one of the few white men that sounds 'soulful' enough to sound 'black') reinforces this.

Daniel, if this is true (that our subconscious feelings on music influence it hugely), then it would explain white 'lack of soul'. White middle-class American and Japanese society has always been stereotypically restrained, and this probably makes us feel that about the music. It's not just in terms of colour, of course; the Irish are stereotypically exuberant and most people I know feel Irish music sounds exuberant.

There is so much further to go with this, but it strays into racial stereotyping and I need to tidy my room so I think I will leave it for others if they want.