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[Doc]

Daniel loves every primate.

[theinevitable]

yeah, I mean, I have tried really hard to resist the urge to send them a letter where I say that I love them.

[Doc]

Man, how would you even address that?

Orangutans, c/o Borneo.

[theinevitable]

yeah, and I mean, considering they live solitarily without a set social structure, and in fact avoid meeting by having largely non-overlapping ranges... it seems unlikely the whole clan would get to read it.

[Doc]

Maybe you could just give it to one and they could pass it round when they meet up during mating season, or they could all make copies and pass it to whoever they meet.

[theinevitable]

hm, yes, this could work. The males have large, non-overlapping ranges, and the females have smaller ranges which overlap with each other in addition to those of the males, so...

oh, god, am I sounding like a stalker, now? I swear I wasn't stalking them! You just... notice. When you care about someone.

[Doc]

Better watch out Inev, next time a female Orang overlaps into your area she's going to pass on a restraining order.

'Dan is to keep at least 500 yards away from Borneo at all times.'

[Ruta Bagas]

And then she'll say "Now that's a large, non-overlapping range!" and you'll feel so small.

[Pedro Picasso]

I'm convinced that the "murder" thing was a frame job, wherein The Powers That Be figured that killing three brothers with White House aspirations and passing them off as un-coordinated would have even the rubes of America calling shenanigans so...

Y'know. They had to cap his power in a different way.

But then, I suppose, I'm sort of a sucker for conspiracy theories that make too much sense.

I didn't believe the Chappaquiddick thing at all until I saw this video of Kennedy's explanation.  I don't know how you can watch that video and have any amount of respect for him whatsoever.  But it's never nice to kick a man when he's down, so being from North Carolina, I think we ought to send Jesse Helms over to cheer him up.  Maybe while they're chatting in the hospital, they can determine between them who is the lesser of two evils.

[wombat]

But then, I suppose, I'm sort of a sucker for conspiracy theories that make too much sense.

You know, what makes most conspiracy theories implausible is that they assume a level of organization and competence on the part of the conspirators that we never see evidence of in normal human activity.

I mean, seriously, go work at a federal government job for a couple of months and then get back to me about whether you still think that the government could actually pull off any of the conspiracies that have been attributed to it. When they can hire an animal keeper in less than nine months, or actually come and change a light bulb when I ask, I'll think about worrying about it.

[jaydub]

The 2 fifths conspiracy horizon is rapidly being approached.

Even for a Kennedy, that's a lot of whisky.

[Victoria Waterfield]

You know, what makes most conspiracy theories implausible is that they assume a level of organization and competence on the part of the conspirators that we never see evidence of in normal human activity.

I mean, seriously, go work at a federal government job for a couple of months and then get back to me about whether you still think that the government could actually pull off any of the conspiracies that have been attributed to it. When they can hire an animal keeper in less than nine months, or actually come and change a light bulb when I ask, I'll think about worrying about it.

But don't you see? The government's incompetent public face is all part of the conspiracy.

[theinevitable]

I mean...

I don't really buy into any conspiracy theories, but the government has been known to pull things off well, and in secret. Like, you know, supporting overthrows of people and making stealth bombers and such.


I am just surprised that LFM thinks there is something more sinister going on here than "when you are the rich son of a family that is practically royalty in the US, and you fuck up, you will avoid responsibility, and get away with it."
Like, this seems like a narrative which you would buy. The rich man can buy anything, etc.

[littlefallsmets]

If there's anything in the world that The Born Rich hate more than poor folk, it is Born Rich folk who betray their place in society by trying to help people be less poor.

Ain't nobody rich folk hated more than FDR, they treated him such as a "race traitor" and did everything they could to destroy his attempts to stabilize society by making people less poor.

Also: the government can't pull off anything because nobody gives them the money they need to work because everyone's always being a selgiraffe dick about not wanting to pay taxes... all the good conspiracies are funded by private wealth and just use "government" forces tangentally.

The same way the Penguin used muscular dudes dressed up like birds, y'know.

Bif! Bam! Pow! Assassination!

[Dexter]

But don't you see? The government's incompetent public face is all part of the conspiracy.

Really?  I figured they were just incompetent because all the competent people are part of the secret shadow government that's behind the conspiracies.