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@achewood C:\> Get on the Night Train. || You are on the Night Train. There is an Axl Rose here.

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Author Topic: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy  (Read 3500 times)

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Arachno-capitalist

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29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« on: May 29, 2008, 08:53:56 pm »

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05292008

I have a mind where I have a hard time digging on pomp and superfluous things at otherwise events. Check it- a marriage occurs when the certificate is in my hand. Everything that happens before, or after that transfer of document is superfluous. Why the dress? Why are we dancing the funky chicken and spending hundreds of dollars on pigs in a blanket. Why is it such a big deal when we walk down the aisle? My mind doesnt work like that, I dont get it.
Same thing goes with graduation. A dude graduates from college when the registrar says so and the president signs a document. Thats it. end of story. Why is graduation dragged out over an entire fuck*ng week? Give me a break.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2008, 10:50:03 pm by Arachno-capitalist »
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

wombat

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prision For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2008, 09:13:21 pm »

That magazine is the best idea ever. I want to write for that magazine.
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Cap'n Squeakers

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prision For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2008, 09:14:41 pm »

Arachno-capitalist, you are a low type of dude that would post a bare link with no thoughts about the strip. There is more to life than "firsts."  I thought we all knew about this.

I only know of three safe places to toss your biscuits in a church, but maybe that is because I was bright up Methodist. Maybe Greek Orthodox churches have better hidey-holes.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prision For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2008, 09:21:38 pm »

Youre just jealous you didnt get firsts.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

Golfhaus

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prision For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2008, 09:58:54 pm »

Two in a row... Onstad's bringin' the sack!

"Any cake is a wedding cake if you call it that." Now THOSE are words to live by. That's the kind of advice that you can use long after rings have been exchanged and your best friend has pissed off her sister.

Also, in the mess-with-A-Cap department: Prision? Don't sacrifice accuracy for speed, dude. Is so crass.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2008, 10:31:25 pm »

I just today got an e-mail from a friend wherein she was needling me to marry my girlfriend so that she can dress up as in "A League of Their Own" for our baseball-themed wedding.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prision For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2008, 10:50:48 pm »

Go ahead, edit some goodiness in there.

My insight was asked for and it was provided.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

jaydub

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2008, 11:03:23 pm »

Its mostly because those of us who sit there mulling over the best way to encapsulate our reaction to the new strip (delighted that we might be first to comment) get all pissy when some punk beats us to the punch.  At least you didn't foul the nest with a "Firsties!" comment.   
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jay-ell

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2008, 11:40:35 pm »

I've been thinking about weddings a lot lately, and I have come to the conclusion that if Girlface wants a big frilly dress and a hoss and carriage and ridiculous food and flowers everywhere she can have it...

...but I'd like to think I'll raise her better than that. 

If she opts for a family-only wedding without Shenenigens, I'll give her the going rate for a wedding in 2035 or whatever in cold, hard cash. 
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AugustWest

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2008, 11:41:37 pm »

A)  Great strip.

B)  The wedding is for the bride.  Your job, as groom, is to show up capable of standing up straight and saying "I do" at the correct moment.  The rest of it is for the hens.
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wombat

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2008, 12:00:17 am »

As I am sure I have mentioned before, we got married in a justice of the peace's living room, with no witnesses. So seriously, I am totally qualified to write for Beef's magazine.

I do regret not having a cake, though. I definitely should have just gotten a cake that I wanted and called it a wedding cake. There would have been nothing wrong with some pigs in a blanket while we were at it. I guess we went out for fancy French food instead.
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

colmore

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2008, 12:14:11 am »

So the bigger half of my family is a bunch of Lexington, KY bluebloods.  If you want some boring ass ceremony, just go to any fancy WASP-Episcopalean knotting.  Boring, that is, until the Bourbon comes out and we all start to remember just how painfully humiliating we find each other's company.

I believe I've stated my "wedding money is only for intoxicants and fireworks" policy on this board before.
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CortJstr

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #12 on: May 30, 2008, 12:14:32 am »

I've long proposed a law that any woman who calls a wedding "my day" instead of "our day" should be immediately slapped by anybody in earshot.

For my wedding we're thinking cupcake tree instead of cake. Also, tiki bar.
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pmcd9

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2008, 03:21:48 am »

I had wedding cake last Friday.  Well sorta.  I was my folks anniversary.

The social aspect of a wedding used to have significance as the community, family, church, etc. actually had a say in the matter.  Now it's just a self-aggrandizing party.
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Choop

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Re: 29 May 2008 - A Prison For Men Who Would Be Happy
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2008, 08:31:49 am »

Me and my missus tied the ol' knot twice: we eloped on a steamboat and I dressed like Elton John minus the goofy shades and/or hat, with a Giant Mall Cookie for our wedding cake; then we had the event-style wedding in our backyard with everything wholesale, free, or gifted.

We spent our money on the ten day honeymoon in Italy. It was a good party, and then we had a fuc*ing great time doin our thing Tuscan-styylez.
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