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Author Topic: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008  (Read 4610 times)

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wombat

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Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« on: May 30, 2008, 08:27:03 pm »

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05302008

See, that's the sort of thing we avoided by having no one there when we got married: no risk of men in fezzes who are there for unclear reasons.
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CortJstr

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2008, 08:29:25 pm »

Made of win.


Maybe.


Maybe
.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2008, 08:38:58 pm »

I hate boutiquey things, trinkets, those little statues of children with big eyes, Lladrós, porcelain bears, framed pictures of loved ones. All of these things are in my field of vision right now. What the hell does my mom think is going to happen with this shit when she dies? Is there a special recycling center that processes inheritances you hate?
The last thing any man needs is a pile of more of this crap on their wedding day. You know what a newly married man needs? A toolbox.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2008, 09:25:09 pm »

His just-previously jacked arms are now spaghetti thin as well.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

jaydub

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2008, 09:40:32 pm »

You know what a newly married man needs? A toolbox.
One of my favourite wedding presents I gave to a buddy was a set of splitting wedges and a maul.  Happily, both he and his wife were thrilled.

Edit:  For clarity

One of these: not these:
« Last Edit: May 30, 2008, 09:44:10 pm by jaydub »
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melack

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2008, 11:01:39 pm »

You know, I'd really like to finish this sentence by I got to drain the meat dildo.

jaydub

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2008, 11:25:20 pm »

So crass.  I much prefer "shake the dew off the lily".
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2008, 11:41:20 pm »

"Excuse me, the marginal cost of withholding urine is quickly passing the equilibrium point into losses. I need to go push supply into the market"...
True story. That happened.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

Bimmicus

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2008, 11:51:14 pm »

"Gotta go shake hands with the unemployed." Or, more recently, "going to visit the Mayor," which 9-year-olds apparently find hilarious.

I don't know what it is about receiving horrible, tacky picture frames as gifts from women (ALWAYS women) who should know better, but at least I now know I'm not alone in this.
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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2008, 11:59:57 pm »

Tacky picture frames are to weddings as bottles of cheap zinfandel are to dinner parties.  They are the bare minimum you can get away with bringing, but everyone still knows you suck but just can't say it out loud.
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Golfhaus

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2008, 12:00:43 am »

I was about to say that this was the best birthday strip I've ever had, but looking at the videotape, the real Memorial Day is actually good for some quality strips.

So this upholds a tradition. And it makes me want a fez.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2008, 02:13:21 am »

I like saying "gotta go make twizzlers" because...

Well, because I like confusing people.
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colmore

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« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2008, 02:23:33 am »

So is the ceremony going on right now?  Are we going to get the whole thing throuh novelty pamphlets?

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05302008


edit:  Scooped!  And I didn't even get the date in the title.  For shame.
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colmore

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Re: Men in fezzes are unpredictable - May 30 2008
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2008, 02:28:56 am »

I find a hearty "Excelcior!" is a good way to excuse oneself.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: That guy, he is alright. Maybe.
« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2008, 02:32:45 am »

Wait what?
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.
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