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Author Topic: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.  (Read 6646 times)

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Bobby Isosceles

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Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« on: August 26, 2008, 03:40:29 am »

Pat wouldn't eat Quorn because it uses egg whites as binder, but here's the verdict on "Turk'y":

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

It smells like turkey. Quite delicious. It looks like turkey breast, which makes me wonder at what texturing technology has gained from Cold War espionage.

It tastes about like what a completely dry turkey breast would taste like if it were made of the stems of mushrooms. The texture is even more so like that.

I don't understand what the vegulons are trying to do by faking meat. YOU CANNOT FAKE MEAT. Moreover, it is a disrespect to the deliciousness of vegetables, fungi, fruits and grains to try to force them to taste like meat. You don't see people contorting steak to taste like lettuce, do you?

I've no problem with vegetarianism or even vegulonism, but please -- apply Ricardo's Law of Comparative Advantage here, and stick to what you do best.

Prior to my experiment with the Quorn Turk'y, I had a salad consisting of spinach leaves, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots and celery with a ginger miso dressing. It too was a vegulon dish. It was absolutely delicious. It did not need to pretend it was Turk'y or P'rk or Ant'lope or whatever.
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Doc

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2008, 04:29:21 am »

I too have never understood the desire to make vegetables into meat, it seems to betray a deep distaste for being a vegetarian by pretending you are not doing it.
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AlohaDawg

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2008, 01:21:01 pm »

And just to extend the 'what the hell' of the conversation, why do the vegerinarians insist on 'meat substitutes' anyhow? Is it because you crave meat? Have some.

Is it because you want for some reason to appear to be eating meat? the best way to do that is to eat some meat.

There are so many great ingredients on this planet that aren't meat. Eat them. Quit inventing gross, fake food as a beard for your lifestyle. Destroy all the tempeh, seitan, and sculpted tofu hams, chickens, etc.

There are outstanding world cuisines that serve no meat or really small amounts of meat that usually aren't a requirement for the dish. Try Indian, Thai, and Chinese vegetarian recipes to find out that texturizing plant-derived proteins and torturing them into meat-like shapes really isn't necessary. Unless the need is psychological.



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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2008, 01:24:53 pm »

And just to extend the 'what the hell' of the conversation, why do the vegerinarians insist on 'meat substitutes' anyhow? Is it because you crave meat? Have some.

Is it because you want for some reason to appear to be eating meat? the best way to do that is to eat some meat.

There are so many great ingredients on this planet that aren't meat. Eat them. Quit inventing gross, fake food as a beard for your lifestyle. Destroy all the tempeh, seitan, and sculpted tofu hams, chickens, etc.

There are outstanding world cuisines that serve no meat or really small amounts of meat that usually aren't a requirement for the dish. Try Indian, Thai, and Chinese vegetarian recipes to find out that texturizing plant-derived proteins and torturing them into meat-like shapes really isn't necessary. Unless the need is psychological.






I agree with this comment.
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jay-ell

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2008, 01:29:36 pm »

Agreed, but I make an exception for Gardenburgers (which are available in your grocer's freezer and at Burger King, for the vegetarian on the go) and Chik Patties.  The meat-based convenience foods these vegetarian alternatives are meant to replace bear so little resemblance to actual meat that nothing is lost in the translation.  

I actually prefer Chik patties to chicken-based crisped meat pucks.  Besides being lower in fat, the Parmesan Ranch flavor is to die for.  Just don't cook them in the microwave -- the oven is infinitely better (bonus eco-points for using the toaster oven).  
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CortJstr

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2008, 01:35:59 pm »

I don't mind vegetarian food that a meaty substance so long as it doesn't try (and invariably fail) to taste like meat. I just had a veg dish that was like General Tso's had sex with Kung Pao. It was really good and the soy-product added bulk without trying to be Chik'n or Befe or whatever. I would totally have that again. Of course this was at a vegetarian restaurant, so presumably they know fake meat almost never works out.

Although I do have to admit that the yam shrimp that you can get a chinese places is pretty cool. The fact that they not only shape them like shrimp but even use pink dye to make they really look like shrimp is kind of impressive.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2008, 01:45:00 pm »

I don't mind vegetarian food that a meaty substance so long as it doesn't try (and invariably fail) to taste like meat. I just had a veg dish that was like General Tso's had sex with Kung Pao. It was really good and the soy-product added bulk without trying to be Chik'n or Befe or whatever. I would totally have that again. Of course this was at a vegetarian restaurant, so presumably they know fake meat almost never works out.

Although I do have to admit that the yam shrimp that you can get a chinese places is pretty cool. The fact that they not only shape them like shrimp but even use pink dye to make they really look like shrimp is kind of impressive.

Was this at Sunflower? If so, I've had it, but again, would have been better with just tofu texture rather than extra processing.

Same with Surimi. I don't believe Surimi is crab. But i like it on its own merits.
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AugustWest

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2008, 01:48:18 pm »

Destroy all the tempeh,


Tempeh is supposed to simulate meat?  I had no idea.  Learn something new every day.
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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2008, 01:55:13 pm »

Tempeh is supposed to simulate meat?  I had no idea.  Learn something new every day.

That really says everything you need to know.
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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2008, 01:58:19 pm »

Destroy all the tempeh, seitan, and sculpted tofu hams, chickens, etc.

I thought this meant destroy all the hams, etc made of tempeh, seitan, sculpted tofu. Tempeh is nasty indeed but on its own I don't think it's meant to be fake meat

I make an exception for Morningstar Farms breakfast sausage, I find them inexplicably appealing and very convenient. But I don't consider anything that processed and manufactured to be a healthy food.
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AugustWest

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2008, 01:58:39 pm »

That really says everything you need to know.

I suppose it does, doesn't it.  And I like tempeh.
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AlohaDawg

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2008, 02:14:06 pm »

The one time I had seitan it was basically reminding me of what would happen if you got bread really wet, wrung it out, dried it and then stir-fried it.

The problem was that it was proposed in the dish as a "meat alternative". Now, that sentence reads to me as though someone handed me a warm, wet washcloth and told me it was a "pussy alternative".

As in, no.

Maybe if they said, this is seitan. It's made of wheat gluten and we use like you would use meat in some dishes, I could buy that. But not "It's just like meat! Try it!"
« Last Edit: August 26, 2008, 02:33:49 pm by AlohaDawg »
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CortJstr

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2008, 02:16:11 pm »

Was this at Sunflower? If so, I've had it, but again, would have been better with just tofu texture rather than extra processing.

Same with Surimi. I don't believe Surimi is crab. But i like it on its own merits.

Yeah, it was Sunflower. It was like Sunflower’s Satisfaction or something. I've tried to like tofu, but I just can't deal with it. I've tried stir fries, smoothies, marinated and grilled, and it just always tastes bad.
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JorgeFabregas

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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2008, 03:20:14 pm »

I do not crave meat, but there are some fake meat dishes that I find enjoyable and convenient. Morningstar buffalo chicken, for instance, and some sausage that comes in a tube that I can't remember the name of.

Veggie hot dogs are not bad when compared to non-kosher dogs, etc, and can be nice when grilling with meat eaters.

I also like the Morningstar black bean burgers.
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Re: Quorn Turk'y: No. No. No. No. No.
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2008, 03:55:50 pm »

Look, I need something to put in my fuck*ng sandwiches.

I don't like fake meats.  But damnit if something between two slices of bread isn't the dominate lunch paradigm.

If it's just lettuce in there, it becomes a salad I can hold in my hands.

P.S.  A big "Fuck you" to restaurants with a garden burger as the sole vegetarian option.  I never want to eat another of those in my life.
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