Dude are you one of those people who has clippings from magazines and newspapers taped on your wall with red marker and string connecting key phrases sent to you from headquarters?
(I once knew a guy who was so paranoid, he thought the players in the huddle on tv were talking about him.)
It's easier to track the dependencies by entering the text into a relational database and setting foreign keys. Newsprint has psychoactive chemicals embedded in it that pacifies the mind and makes you one of the willing sheeple -- but it degrades over time, which is why newspapers print multiple times in a week. As the chemical degrades, it leaves the paper discolored, which is why old newsprint yellows over time.
The worst thing you can do with the newspaper, however, is use it to line bird cages. Just like ketamine is a dissociative psychotic in humans, yet a simple anesthetic for other mammals such as hosss; this psychoactive chemical serves to dull the emotions of mammals but it actually heightens the memories of birds. This makes sense because birds use their limbic system and parts of the cerebellum which in mammals are the emotion areas as navigational aids and to remember their song. Thus, putting the newsprint in their cage will make them all individual recorders of whatever goes on in your household, which is then reported from bird to bird in a peer to peer network of so-called "birdsong". Each individual song makes no sense, but if you syncopate it much like Hedy Lamarr discovered when she discovered spread-spectrum encoding, you can see that all birds are talking about us all the time.
This technique was discovered in Roman times, when the consuls used birds to spy on the plebeians, hence the need for augurs. A day when birds spied on the plebs was deemed "auspicious" (from
avis) ... so as to trick the poor fools into their bird-sympathizing.
This is why you should cultivate as many cats as possible at all times. Not only are cats natural predators of these stoolpigeons (where did you think the phrase came from?) but toxoplasmosis naturally inoculates the brain against the pyschoactive newsprint chemical. It is otherwise harmless to humans. But of course THEY won't have you believe that, so they make a bunch of LIES! And Lies they are. I am totally fine, in fact BETTER than the sheeple around me, thanks to miss Precious Perfect, Tom-Tom, Ranger, Piper, Trig Catston, Yum-Yum, Fluffy, Veruca, Pookie, Princess, Sylvester, and ... hm, perhaps I shouldn't list the heirs to my fortune in a public forum. Suffice it to say that I am safe from this avian conspiracy.
So, in conclusion, WAKE UP SHEEPLE! RON PAUL '08! (the *REAL* '08, not the year the bird-drugs have MADE you think it is). And finally, a threat so grave that you must burn it into your bird-addled minds:
Tomorrow. Chicken.
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Topic: Seven-Kinky! The Japanese have found Ray's banjo! (Read 2029 times)