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[sje46]

You guys are what people on the Internet call "newbs".

Stupid soda cans.  Stupid soda cans.  Stupid soda cans.
Oh noez!  I has no soda canz left!

The chub/lame system is far superior in every way, including the fact that it just sounds funny.

It's from Assetbar.  Ask Asherdan.  He knows all about them.

[Doc]

<thoughtfully fingers onion offence card>

[pmcd9]

Ok, now you are a troll. 

[Ruta Bagas]

You guys are what people on the Internet call "newbs".

I think this is the nicest thing anyone here's ever said to me.

[sje46]

Sometimes I feel like ruta bagas is the only person who understands me.

I'm still not a troll guys . .. I just don't get the weird Dr. Pepper nonsense.

[littlefallsmets]

I mean, like, okay.

It is one thing to be covered in vomit. Sometimes we throw up! We've got a cold, we've been forced to watch Scary Movie 2 by someone who hates us. Perhaps we've been dancing a little too lustily with Lady Spirit. And, of course, we puke from time to time.

Everybody pukes! It's not okay but it is understandable. These things happen.

We can't go down every avenue to prevent ourselves from being covered in vomit and time makes fools of us all.

It is quite another thing to be that one fratboy who is so out of his mind that he thinks it is AWESOME that he's puking. "Oh gosh," he imagines, "how manly must I be to have drank so much Milwaukee's Best Ice that I'm vomiting! Christ, I'm the good goddamn life of the fuck*ng party!"

Going around, covering everything with the half-digested chunks of his deepest shame and thinking that everyone thinks you're goddamned rad and edgy for the doing.

Okay?

That is basically an analogy toward speaking well of the assbar: an already ugly comments system that threads in a manner designed to make people give up on the internet, all the uglier for fancying itself a message board and conducting itself in short crude comments-length bursts that in their form and function could reduce philosophers into discussions of "nice strip, I farted!" "OMG, I farted too!" "I liked the strip more than you guys and I say this in a manner wherein I hope to gain favour with the strip's creator... AND I CRAPPED MY SHORTS!" and so on.

It is one thing for you to show up here, vile crusties still not quite all wiped from your mouth, apologizing for throwing up all over the place, swearing up and down to never mix Grape Pucker and Windex as a shooter again. We're good folks around here, we might even hold your hair over the toilet if you have an aftershock.

But the longer you're walkin' around making gut puddles and acting like that makes you King of the Sock Hop, the more we're gonna assume you're a goddamned troll.

Dig?

[Ruta Bagas]

There's this little number under the name each member has chosen to post messages under, and the little number represents how many imaginary little cans of Dr Pepper that member has in their possession. Accompanying this little number are two little bits of clickable text; these may not yet be visible to you. The one on the left makes the number go up, which can be conceptualized as giving the person in question one of the aforementioned cans, except that it does not require your number to go down. The one on the right makes the number go down, which can be conceptualized as taking one of those cans away and throwing it to the ground in a disgusted manner so that it sprays all up the walls and makes everything all sticky. That is not an innuendo.

This is all you really need to know about the basic system. You are free to assign any further significance to the little number that pleases you.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I can't find the blog post that was the original source of "tiny can of Dr Pepper."  This is upsetting to me.  Paging Cort.

[jaydub]

Its on this board system?  Or the previous one?

[Carlos del Vaca]

I thought it was from a post on Ray's blog, where Teodor says something to him about a tiny can of Dr Pepper.

[pmcd9]

Tiny cans of Dr Pepper are awesome.  What more is there to know?

[CortJstr]

Sometimes I feel like ruta bagas is the only person who understands me.

I'm still not a troll guys . .. I just don't get the weird Dr. Pepper nonsense.

It's just our name for Karma. I think if you go too far into the negatives it starts to interfere with your ability to post, especially new topics, but I'm not actually sure.

Carlos, I'm sad to report I don't remember the Tiny Can origin. But I'm pretty sure it was Bozack's fault.

[wombat]

Cort, we don't care if you remember it, we want you to find it.

[Mr Trout]

I feel obligated to post this link: http://orezscu.blogspot.com/2005/10/rays-mind-menses.html

I believe that was the origin. All it makes me do is pine for the days of yore when the blogs were updated several times a week. That may have been the height of Achewood for me - the blogs at that time were consistently better than the strip. I mean, Mr. Bear's trek across Russia, the risotto wars (pretty sure that carried over into the strip too, though), Lyle sober in the all-girls school.

Good times, good times.

[JorgeFabregas]

I think that the board's use predated that blog and that we thought Onstad was messing with us when he wrote that.

Edit: Appears that I am wrong. Sigh.