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@achewood Jumping jacks, flinging myself off of low decks, yelling into an empty bottle of carrot juice. Trying to get in writing mode.

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Author Topic: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead  (Read 3284 times)

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Victoria Waterfield

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05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« on: March 05, 2009, 11:24:55 pm »
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lprkn

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2009, 12:30:40 am »
This whole thing is pretty damn awesome. I feel badass just reading, by association.

"...a no-account son of a bitch with half a soul and the balance owed to Judas..."

"Why I must walk this earth, &c."

- A little bit of Jules Winnfield up ins.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2009, 02:43:13 am »
Yeah, it kind of starts out Bad Bad Leroy Brown and kind of reaches a Dolemitical peak around Panel 11 and then it just degenerates into a bit of overwrought soliloquoy.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2009, 02:49:20 am »
Assetbar wins with this comment:

"Ramses planned the pocket dial. He wants to show his son how a man should live, day in/day out. "
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littlefallsmets

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2009, 03:08:56 am »
My mom actually WAS like that at parent-teacher conferences. All 5'5" of her, just a tornado of "IT SURE AS FUCK WASN'T MY SON'S FAULT".

Being a floor nurse hardens a woman, I s'pose.

Oh man, a substitute whapped me on the hand with a ruler lightly and that lady never worked in Herkimer County again.

My mom's incredibly strange but rad.
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wombat

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2009, 03:30:23 am »
Can't even eat lunch without destroyin' men and declarin' the death of God. Impressive, but it must be a hard life in some ways. I kind of like being able to just eat a sandwich and read the newspaper, you know?
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lprkn

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2009, 03:49:20 am »
Well, you know. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides..."

It's hard to be a righteous badass.
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Doc

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2009, 04:27:46 am »
Being ashamed of the world and not myself is a good goal to have. In a way.
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dejavroom

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2009, 02:43:10 pm »
Ramses Smuckles is Cormac McCarthy.
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The absurdity is veiled by the poetic charm with which the poet invests it.

lprkn

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2009, 05:24:50 pm »
Ramses Smuckles is a less creepy version of The Judge.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2009, 10:25:15 pm »
Quote from: wombat on March 06, 2009, 03:30:23 am
Can't even eat lunch without destroyin' men and declarin' the death of God. Impressive, but it must be a hard life in some ways. I kind of like being able to just eat a sandwich and read the newspaper, you know?
And that is why no one will remember your name.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

wombat

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's
« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2009, 11:06:44 pm »
I always thought no one would remember my name because they'd find one of my journal articles in a dusty library stack some decades hence and fall asleep before they finished reading it.
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What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Doc

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's
« Reply #12 on: March 08, 2009, 11:59:26 pm »
Never to awake. The next person to stumble down that way finds a pile of mouldering skeletons over a dusty tome and before they call for help their curiosity gets the better of them and they take a quick peek. Soon they are on the pile and the article lies waiting for it's next victim.
Wombat writes the Infinite Jest of academic journals.
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herofix

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2009, 12:24:41 am »
A can for the Infinite Jest reference.

You forgot to mention though, that all of these people would have also crapped themselves before they died. 
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Toaster

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Re: 05.III.2009 - It's your birthday and yo' mama needs the coffin 'cause she's dead
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2009, 02:20:35 am »
Don't people crap themselves when they die? I've heard that. Because your body loses control of its muscles?
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