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[Bobby Isosceles]

Around here we call them Mormons, but I still don't know what they do for fun.

Polygamy.

[CortJstr]

I know the feeling. Its like finding out all you have been seeing is shadows your entire life, but then you find the actual food. Unfortunately for my credit card, I had this revelation at Dean & Deluca on broad and prince.

Every week I got a farmers' market, then Harris Teeter, then Whole Foods. Last month I went into a Dean & Deluca for the first time and felt horribly out of place. Nancy Pelosi was there. That woman has had some work done.

[jay-ell]

Board games.

Ironically, board games *are* more fun with drinking. 

[smick]

Polygamy.

There is no fun to be had there.


Here in Portland, we get "Dave's Killer Bread".  It's my favorite bread baked by a long haired guitar playing ex-con!

http://www.daveskillerbread.com/misc/TheGoodSeed-PRINT.pdf

Decent Story, Awesome Bread!

[KeithHernandez]

Ironically, board games *are* more fun with drinking. 

I LOVE playing Cranium on Xanax and weed.  Makes it so much harder and funner. 

Also, getting drunk and playing dominos or backgammon, that is pretty fun.

I learned how to play those last two in a crack house in Oklahoma.  I was there so those people would buy me and mine booze and ended up starting my relationship with blow.  Actually, my granddad and mom would play them with me when I was a kid, but that is when they got fun, when you were playing against a guy who just ran out of the hospital to avoid going to jail for the ounce of coke he swallowed to get into the hospital.  Also, if you are good they will want you on their team and give you free stuff and you will fit in, which is pretty groovy to a dude just leaving sheltered suburbs, to fit in with some pretty shitty people.  It was exhilarating. 

[Bobby Isosceles]

I LOVE playing Cranium on Xanax and weed.  Makes it so much harder and funner. 

Also, getting drunk and playing dominos or backgammon, that is pretty fun.

I learned how to play those last two in a crack house in Oklahoma.  I was there so those people would buy me and mine booze and ended up starting my relationship with blow.  Actually, my granddad and mom would play them with me when I was a kid, but that is when they got fun, when you were playing against a guy who just ran out of the hospital to avoid going to jail for the ounce of coke he swallowed to get into the hospital.  Also, if you are good they will want you on their team and give you free stuff and you will fit in, which is pretty groovy to a dude just leaving sheltered suburbs, to fit in with some pretty shitty people.  It was exhilarating. 

In my mind your long story ends with you becoming a grand master World of Warcraft player, but high on shrooms and heroin with a plunger up your ass and three hookers taking terms fellating you. You're like Bobby Fischer and Frank Zappa's kid.

[Drygioni]

I for one was pleased just to see the Larkin

[KeithHernandez]

In my mind your long story ends with you becoming a grand master World of Warcraft player, but high on shrooms and heroin with a plunger up your ass and three hookers taking terms fellating you. You're like Bobby Fischer and Frank Zappa's kid.

That's the dream I guess, but like dominos or craps, not WoW, and LSD not shrooms.

[littlefallsmets]

She was fantastic, though.  Absolutely, tongue-tyingly, singularly gorgeous.

May I ask what were the specific traits to set you off so completely?

For me, it's a very tall woman with generous curves. I just... stop talking because nothing'll make sense.

[jay-ell]

May I ask what were the specific traits to set you off so completely?

For me, it's a very tall woman with generous curves. I just... stop talking because nothing'll make sense.

She was tall -- noticeably taller than me, and I'm 5'7" -- and what I like to call "athletic."  She wasn't absolutely ripped or anything -- in fact, she had a little belly pooch, which was adorable -- but her arms were pretty toned (she was wearing a tank top) and she had curvy hips that flowed nicely into firm, rounded thighs.  Medium-sized breasts, probably a mid-C cup, but she could have been wearing a push-up bra (though she didn't seem the type).  Super-short blonde hair, almost buzz cut.  Small, tasteful piercings in her brow, nose, and tongue.  (Additionally, multiple ear piercings, but those are run-of-the-mill these days.)  Black, low-cut midriff tank top, leather mini-miniskirt with a silver zipper in the back, knee-high leather boots and black lace stockings.  Hipster glasses, which made her look smart.  Pretty face, feminine but not precious -- even with her ultra-short hair, even if she were in baggy jeans and a t-shirt, nobody would mistake her for a boy.  Her features were vaguely reminiscent of Jane Child, on whom I also had a massive girl-crush.  She also had a sincere smile and an honest laugh, rare traits for a cocktail waitress. 

The most attractive thing about her was how much confidence she exuded.  Charismatic.  Self-assured.  And almost certainly a lesbian. 

If she shows up in any of your dreams tonight, you're welcome. 

[Bobby Isosceles]

She was tall -- noticeably taller than me, and I'm 5'7" -- and what I like to call "athletic."  She wasn't absolutely ripped or anything -- in fact, she had a little belly pooch, which was adorable -- but her arms were pretty toned (she was wearing a tank top) and she had curvy hips that flowed nicely into firm, rounded thighs.  Medium-sized breasts, probably a mid-C cup, but she could have been wearing a push-up bra (though she didn't seem the type).  Super-short blonde hair, almost buzz cut.  Small, tasteful piercings in her brow, nose, and tongue.  (Additionally, multiple ear piercings, but those are run-of-the-mill these days.)  Black, low-cut midriff tank top, leather mini-miniskirt with a silver zipper in the back, knee-high leather boots and black lace stockings.  Hipster glasses, which made her look smart.  Pretty face, feminine but not precious -- even with her ultra-short hair, even if she were in baggy jeans and a t-shirt, nobody would mistake her for a boy.  Her features were vaguely reminiscent of Jane Child, on whom I also had a massive girl-crush.  She also had a sincere smile and an honest laugh, rare traits for a cocktail waitress. 

The most attractive thing about her was how much confidence she exuded.  Charismatic.  Self-assured.  And almost certainly a lesbian. 

If she shows up in any of your dreams tonight, you're welcome. 

Slashfic for aspies, everyone. You saw it here first.

[wombat]

I don't care what people say about the good old days on this board - this has got to be one of the the most awesome threads ever.

[miles]

Keith: weed with a Xanax back? I think I'd be comatose.

Ironically, board games *are* more fun with drinking. 

Drinking is more fun with no board games. This I know from personal experience, as I'm a lapsed Mormon.

[littlefallsmets]

in fact, she had a little belly pooch, which was adorable

A little pooch belly can be The Happiest Thing indeed.

Well-described, madam, no shame in fritzing out over a lady looking like that.

[jay-ell]

A little pooch belly can be The Happiest Thing indeed.

Well-described, madam, no shame in fritzing out over a lady looking like that.

Re-reading it, I think I remember a creepy amount of detail with regard to what she looked like, was wearing, &c. 

Clearly, I was staring.  Way to be uncool.