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[Cioran]

Cassandracakkappavattana Sutta

Setting in Motion the Wheel of Roast Beef

Thus have I surfed: On one occasion the Blessed Onstad was living in the Silicon Valley at California (the Resort of Geeks) near San Francisco (Frisco). Then he posted to the group of five thousand readers (early adopters):

"Guys, these two characters ought not to be paid attention to by one who has gone forth from IRL. What are the two? There is Ray, who is chummy, crass, pretty in-your-face, rich, and fat; and there is Pat, who is uptight, gay, and an asshole.

"Avoiding both these dudes, the Artist (The Perfect Onstad) has created Roast Beef, the Middle Cat; who gives jokes, gives self-recognition, and leads to laughter, to rough chuckles, to grokking, and to Nerdvana. And what is that Middle Cat created by the Artist...? It is the No-bull Achefold Cat, and nothing else, namely: Circumstances, depression, hell of such as meow, much crispy Stellas, coding, peanut butter, all seeing the bleakest possible side of every damn situation, and a Welsh spirit wife. This is the Middle Cat created by the Artist which gives jokes, gives self-recognition, and leads to laughter, to rough chuckles, to grokking, and to Nerdvana.

This the Blessed Onstad posted. The group of five thousand readers was amused, and they forwarded the strip of the Blessed Onstad.

When this strip was thus posted there arose in the Venerable Anna the grimace-free, stainless vision of Comedy and she realized: "Whatever has the nature of Achewood, has the nature of being incredibly funny."

Now when the Blessed Onstad set in motion the Wheel of Roast Beef, the bloggers proclaimed: "The Matchless Wheel of Roast Beef that cannot be set in motion by forum participant, troll, amateur, average comic artist, old pro, or any one in the world, is set in motion by the Blessed Onstad in the Silicon Valley at California near San Francisco."

Thus at that very moment, at that instant, the laugh (that the Wheel of Roast Beef is set in motion) spread as far as Time magazine, the system of ten thousand webcomics trembled and quaked and shook. A boundless sublime radiance surpassing the effulgence of Schulz appeared in the world.

Then the Blessed Onstad uttered this paean of joy: "Verily Anna has gotten the joke; verily Anna has gotten the joke (about Roast Beef)." Thus it was that the Venerable Anna received the name, "'Anna Banana— Anna who gets jokes."

[Cioran]

A parody of course; the original is here:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn56/sn56.011.piya.html

[Toaster]

Apparently Cioran changed gender and aged 60 years? Is that a possible thing?

coughcoughTimeLordcoughcough

[lprkn]

A can was begrudgingly offered. Begrudgingly.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Cassandracakkappavattana Sutta

Setting in Motion the Wheel of Roast Beef

Thus have I surfed: On one occasion the Blessed Onstad was living in the Silicon Valley at California (the Resort of Geeks) near San Francisco (Frisco). Then he posted to the group of five thousand readers (early adopters):

"Guys, these two characters ought not to be paid attention to by one who has gone forth from IRL. What are the two? There is Ray, who is chummy, crass, pretty in-your-face, rich, and fat; and there is Pat, who is uptight, gay, and an asshole.

"Avoiding both these dudes, the Artist (The Perfect Onstad) has created Roast Beef, the Middle Cat; who gives jokes, gives self-recognition, and leads to laughter, to rough chuckles, to grokking, and to Nerdvana. And what is that Middle Cat created by the Artist...? It is the No-bull Achefold Cat, and nothing else, namely: Circumstances, depression, hell of such as meow, much crispy Stellas, coding, peanut butter, all seeing the bleakest possible side of every damn situation, and a Welsh spirit wife. This is the Middle Cat created by the Artist which gives jokes, gives self-recognition, and leads to laughter, to rough chuckles, to grokking, and to Nerdvana.

This the Blessed Onstad posted. The group of five thousand readers was amused, and they forwarded the strip of the Blessed Onstad.

When this strip was thus posted there arose in the Venerable Anna the grimace-free, stainless vision of Comedy and she realized: "Whatever has the nature of Achewood, has the nature of being incredibly funny."

Now when the Blessed Onstad set in motion the Wheel of Roast Beef, the bloggers proclaimed: "The Matchless Wheel of Roast Beef that cannot be set in motion by forum participant, troll, amateur, average comic artist, old pro, or any one in the world, is set in motion by the Blessed Onstad in the Silicon Valley at California near San Francisco."

Thus at that very moment, at that instant, the laugh (that the Wheel of Roast Beef is set in motion) spread as far as Time magazine, the system of ten thousand webcomics trembled and quaked and shook. A boundless sublime radiance surpassing the effulgence of Schulz appeared in the world.

Then the Blessed Onstad uttered this paean of joy: "Verily Anna has gotten the joke; verily Anna has gotten the joke (about Roast Beef)." Thus it was that the Venerable Anna received the name, "'Anna Banana— Anna who gets jokes."

tl;dr
summarize

[Cioran]

Not too long to quote in its entirety though was it.

[AugustWest]

I think Cioran is really Buddy Glass.

[littlefallsmets]

Or Ira Glass.

[AugustWest]

Or Ira Hayes.

[littlefallsmets]

Or, for that matter,  Isaac Hayes.

[lprkn]

ISAAC

[Bobby Isosceles]

Or, for that matter,  Isaac Hayes.

OR RUTHERFORD B. HAYES BACK FROM THE GRAVE

[Doc]

Whoever he is, I hope Cioran takes our playful jabs in good humour, it's something that all new posters have to go through.

Yeah, that's right: it's a Hayesing.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Whoever he is, I hope Cioran takes our playful jabs in good humour, it's something that all new posters have to go through.

Yeah, that's right: it's a Hayesing.

Your Hayesian logic is impeccable. The secret is to run Cioran's pretentious jibba-jabba through a Hayesian filter.

[Ruta Bagas]

I seem to remember you all being quite nice to me.

I'm going to get all paranoid about why that was now.