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Author Topic: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN  (Read 3964 times)

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Bobby Isosceles

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OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« on: June 26, 2009, 06:33:02 pm »
As much as I enjoy reading Dan Savage or Cary Tenis or any other of the post-Dear-Abby advice column crowd, I find them wordy. This is mainly because in order to one-up the last column, they have to find more poignant or shocking topics. And to then fill the space they are paid for, they have to equivocate and hem and haw a lot more than they need to. The result is three questions with five paragraph responses, when a one-liner will often do.


I want to see how far I can go with this idea:

https://twitter.com/AskDrProton

It's a Twitter-based advice column, which means that I will give one-line answers to complex problems. In addition, those complex problems have to be phrased in one line, which makes it a bit easier to deal with. BRILLIANCE!

Or not. But feel free to use it.
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CortJstr

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2009, 06:57:35 pm »
Oh man, the urge to ask like 50 bacon-related questions is overwhelming.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2009, 07:00:33 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on June 26, 2009, 06:57:35 pm
Oh man, the urge to ask like 50 bacon-related questions is overwhelming.

One per person per day! You have the next two months taken care of.
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wombat

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2009, 07:38:47 pm »
This is brilliant.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2009, 07:45:10 pm »
Ask some questions, people! (serious ones even better). I want to PRIME THE PUMP and BUILD MARKETSHARE
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theinevitable

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2009, 11:11:32 pm »
My favorite implementation of this was in my friend's zine.
Huge, long, wordy question, ending with

Quote
I really love her, but lately she's been pressuring me to try acid with her. I really want to strengthen our relationship, but I'm really scared. What should I do?

The answer was one word: "Acid."
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littlefallsmets

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2009, 06:12:28 am »
My attempts at such a similar endeavour as "Dr. Opinion" in my journal generally did not go well.

However, the conceits built around the use of the brevity of Twitter are novel.

If I wasn't avoiding signing up for Twitter so as to not be addicted to another damn fool thing on the computer, I would completely think of something.
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Choop

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2009, 07:35:48 am »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on June 27, 2009, 06:12:28 am
avoiding signing up for Twitter so as to not be addicted to another damn fool thing on the computer

hear, hear!

@askdrproton my big toe looks infected :(
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2009, 01:23:03 pm »
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CortJstr

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2009, 02:04:04 pm »
Bobby, you should use the .@ reply method. The period tricks Twitter into thinking it's a "mention" not a "reply" so that way everybody who's following you sees it.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2009, 02:05:49 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on June 27, 2009, 02:04:04 pm
Bobby, you should use the .@ reply method. The period tricks Twitter into thinking it's a "mention" not a "reply" so that way everybody who's following you sees it.

AUGH THIS TECHNOLOGY
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Choop

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2009, 05:24:01 am »
@askdrproton took your advice, done one round of antibio's, no difference but i poo constantly - can i stop w/ the yogurt? (it's activia btw)
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littlefallsmets

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2009, 05:38:00 am »
The horrible secret behind Activia is that it is only optimally effective for hermaphrodites.
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I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

Choop

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2009, 05:56:24 am »
those poor hermaphrodites i can't imagine having it worse than this
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Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

Bobby Isosceles

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Re: OPINIONATED MAN USES TWITTER; FILM AT ELEVEN
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2009, 02:32:07 pm »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on July 14, 2009, 05:38:00 am
The horrible secret behind Activia is that it is only optimally effective for hermaphrodites.

I thought that was a myth?
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