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@achewood I am composing a tone poem about eagles, lawnmowers, and Ted Nugent. It is composed only of the sounds of those things.

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Author Topic: A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4  (Read 6417 times)

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AugustWest

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« on: December 04, 2003, 08:06:59 pm »
Very nice.  Onstad provides us infinitely more insight into Beef's character with this look at this turbulent childhood.  We learn a lot about Ray here, too.

The writing is poignant and touching.  I'm getting all teary eyed for li'l Beef, who's all sincere and cowed and nervous and it's all afterschool specially and li'l Ray's all understanding and observant and concerned about his friend and then BANG! he puts a Whoopee cushion on his chair.

A Whoopee cushion.  That dang ol' Ray.  He's incorrigible.
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CortJstr

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2003, 08:22:04 pm »
We knew Beef's current home is much smaller than Ray's but apparently it's always been that way. Poor Beef.
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wombat

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2003, 09:29:43 pm »
How heartbreaking.  And on the same day that we hear that Philippe has hurt his toe.  Can we endure any more?
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AugustWest

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2003, 09:39:46 pm »
And where's Ray's Daddy through all this.  We've heard quite a bit about his Mom -- didn't Ray every know his father?
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jay-ell

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2003, 09:44:08 pm »
Oh, come on.  You know Ray's daddy was a total playa.
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AugustWest

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2003, 09:56:00 pm »
Well, yeah, but did Ray ever know him?  Surely there are some funny/painful stories to be savored from that relationship.
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CortJstr

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2003, 10:55:32 pm »
I just realized something. The whole bathroom thing with Beef  sounded like a lot for anybody to do, but I just realized that Beef is covered with fur. That's insane.
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FeeReep

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2003, 01:39:52 am »
Quote
Oh, come on. You know Ray's daddy was a total playa.


Papa was a rollin' stone. *sniff*
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doomglobe

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2003, 01:12:19 am »
rollin stone gathers no moss.

really I think onstad is just saving it.
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pmcd9

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2003, 03:28:42 am »
Quote from: "AugustWest"
And where's Ray's Daddy through all this.  We've heard quite a bit about his Mom -- didn't Ray every know his father?


Cats don't do fathers.  Besides that, when a female cat gets her bone on, it's usually pretty much a case of -take a number fellas and get in line.

~Paul
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slink

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2003, 03:47:50 am »
Quote from: "pmcd9"

Cats don't do fathers.  Besides that, when a female cat gets her bone on, it's usually pretty much a case of -take a number fellas and get in line.

~Paul


Well, there is a little more genetic protection there...
Since cat c*ckes are barbed it means that the male will be connected for a little longer than usual, and the female may be a, little averse to getting amd rutty so soon after.
Thus, in the underworld, a cat is far more likely, by default, to know who the father is than we.
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FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

St_Zartan

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2003, 03:51:07 am »
Quote from: "slink"
Since cat c*ckes are barbed


YOU HAVE SINGLE-HANDEDLY USHERED IN A NEW SENSIBILITY FOR AND / OR ABOUT THIS MESSAGE BOARD

A+++ WOULD BUY FROM AGAIN
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AugustWest

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2003, 04:25:26 am »
That would explain those crazy noises they make in the midst of sweet sweetness.
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slink

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2003, 05:49:15 pm »
I wish mine was...
Did I say that out l...
Fuck...
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andalucia

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A Portrait of the Beef as a Young Man --12/4
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2003, 09:11:47 pm »
OW.




I hate this thread.
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