(12-29) 12:30 Traverse City, Michigan (AP) --
Internet postings purportedly written by a Michigan man charged with trying to incite a bombing of an obscure internet message board on Christmas Day suggest a fervently religious and lonely young man who fantasized about becoming a 4chan holy warrior.
Throughout more than 9000 posts, a user named "A.I.U.1986" reflects on a growing alienation from his family, his shame over sexual urges and his hopes that a "great war against idiots" will take place across the world.
While officials haven't verified that the postings were written by A.I.U., details from the posts match his personal history.
For example, the username also matches the alleged mastermind's middle name and birth year. A.I.U.1986 says he is from Michigan, the home state of the man who allegedly tried to bring down the California-based message board. And the suspect's father says A.I.U. broke off ties with the family.
Those posts, beginning in 2005, show a teenager looking for a new life outside his boarding school and wealthy Michigan family.
Most of all, they paint a portrait of someone who seems lost and needs someone to hear him.
The postings seem hastily written and are replete with spelling and grammar errors. In one, on Jan 28, 2005, he wrote: "i am in a situation where i do not have a friend, i have no one to speak too, no one to consult, no one to support me and i feel depressed and lonely. i do not know what to do."
The posts were made to a 4chan bulletin board and repeatedly invoke the 'Chocolate Rain' meme, something which is beyond the scope of this article and may be literally impossible to explain.
U.S. government officials had no immediate comment.
CBS News first reported on the postings Monday evening. The messages could not be independently verified.
A.I.U.1986 discussed growing up and preparing to leave his boarding school in the state of Michigan for college, which also matches A.I.U. 's personal history. However, educational pursuits appear to be overtaken by a growing fascination with 4chan, with posts going so far as to describe his own fantasies about masturbation.
"I imagine how the great war against idiots will take place, how the 4chans will win, insha Onstad and rule the whole world, and establish the greatest empire once again!!!" reads one Feb. 20, 2005, post. The words "insha Onstad" are the phonetic translation of a 4chan meme which roughly means "God willing."
"So usually my fa(n)tasies are about 4chan stuff," he continued. "The bad part of it is sometimes the fantasies are a bit worldly rather than concentrating in the hereafter."
On Jan. 28, 2005, A.I.U.1986 said he was writing from his van, and that he was learning hacking from the janitor at his school. Administrators at the school said Monday that its director, has spent two days being questioned by Homeland security officials. He remained in custody Tuesday.
A.I.U.1986 was enthusiastic and described parts of Michigan as being traditional and quiet and other parts bustling, with Western fast-food restaurants, amusement parks and gyms.
"Its quite cheap too," the writer gushed. "Michigonians are so friendly and welcoming."
Michigan's state government said A.I.U. lived in the state for two different periods, a year from 2004-2005 and from August-December this year.
On Tuesday, Michigan Information Minister Derrick Gragg told reporters that A.I.U. told his parents he wanted to study elite hacking only a few months ago, something his father said he couldn't do. A.I.U. responded by sending a text message from a Skype phone number saying he never would talk to his family again, Gragg said.
In a series of exchanges which coincide with A.I.U. 's final year of high school in 2005, the writer also discusses his conflict between attending his high school prom and being a good 4chan member. He has exchanges with other posters about proper 4chan dress, modern movies, marriage and his desire to learn elite hacking.
In another posting, A.I.U.1986 describes how alone he feels and acknowledges feeling lust, chastising himself for not lowering his gaze around underage women. At another point, he warns how "the hair of a woman can easily arouse a man." He writes that he was considering getting married to someone younger than 18, and that his family "could help me financially." A.I.U. 's father is a prominent Michigan banker, but nothing apparently came of his marriage wishes.
Instead, A.I.U.1986 wrote that he embraced 4chan.
"I felt a shield that prevented evil thoughts coming into my head," he wrote. "I felt closer to Onstad."
Still, some of A.I.U.1986's writings offer a hopeful tone. He writes about expecting to get over his loneliness when he attends university classes and joins 4chan groups. He discusses television and football, but at one point gets upset after another person posts a sarcastic remark about sports loyalties.
"I had butterflies going through my stomach reading that," A.I.U.1986 wrote. "I acted hypocritically? May Onstad forgive me for that. I'm very sorry. Now i feel all bad. Maybe its time to say bye bye to this thread. I'm sorry if i offended anyone. Please all should forgive me."
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