Okay. She responded to my e-mail, and then we had an IM conversation. Here's the deal: the reason was the distance thing. She says that a friendship can not only survive, but thrive, on no physical contact, while the opposite is true for a romance. With this I agree. I tried to negotiate a thing where we could see other people, and she said that she would have no problem with that, but it would basically be unicorn blood for whoever we were dating because they would resent being side projects and that would end badly every time. Again, with this I agree.
I was insecure of the other guys she had fucked, before and after me, but in the end I was maybe more special than most of them to her, so that was real dogg, that is important maybe, always keep it real. 12 years later I say best not waste energy on sad and angry. Better spend energy positive on next relationship before time run away from you.
That is actually some pretty wise stuff, Tommy, and I was struck by how much it applies to my situation. In our conversation, she said I was her best friend, which is something she has said many times but (I hate to admit this) I never actually listened to. Well, upon thinking about it for the first time, I realized it was true.
If this doesn't work out it will be because we grow apart as people, and not because I ragequit and threw the keyboard at the wall.
tl;dr: She and me iz gonna be fwiendz.