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Do not bone your neighbor's wife. That is hella lame.

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Author Topic: Aminals  (Read 233721 times)

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wombat

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #600 on: November 17, 2014, 11:38:29 pm »
Actually I have pretty much let that blog die, although I do post on the Facebook page that hardly anyone sees if a story is truly awesome. But I've been writing a lot lately about coexisting with wildlife.
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #601 on: November 18, 2014, 12:01:14 am »
In pet news that ACAP actually cares about, we got a guinea pig over the summer that has grown so gigantic that the topic of capybaras came up in the house (drawing the line, however).  I observed to my wife that guinea pigs aren't exactly the athletes of the rodent family, although she has impressive change of speed and direction.  Kind of like Frank Gore.
The guinea pig, that is - not the wife.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #602 on: November 18, 2014, 12:10:21 am »
My pig annoys the everliving shit out of me. He turns food to poop and thats the end of his show. He is likewise enormous. I've attempted to let him enjoy liberty in a sort of fence construction. The jerk just sits there like an idiot in the middle where I left him. The annoyance comes into play when I'm seeking a midnight snack and he knows the fridge is where I keep his food. In every other arena the guy is damskie, but he knows the sound of a fridge/plastic bag/etc.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

wombat

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #603 on: November 18, 2014, 01:45:56 am »
Quote from: jaydub on November 18, 2014, 12:01:14 am
In pet news that ACAP actually cares about, we got a guinea pig over the summer that has grown so gigantic that the topic of capybaras came up in the house

Pics!!!

I had a pig a million years ago. It knew the sound of the fridge opening and would race around the cage squealing. We found this endearing. It only lived two years before it died of kidney failure so we didn't have a whole lot of time to get fed up with it.
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AugustWest

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #604 on: November 18, 2014, 04:12:07 am »
Quote from: Arachno-capitalist on November 17, 2014, 10:58:43 pm
Did your children recently leave for school or something? Brother, there is no discernible difference between a cat lady and a dog guy.

Hey hey hey now!  Don't be smack talking the dog dude. 
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theinevitable

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #605 on: November 18, 2014, 05:31:04 am »
Rutgers Student Eaten by Brown Bear after doing pretty much every stupid thing possible.
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AugustWest

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #606 on: November 18, 2014, 01:59:23 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on November 18, 2014, 05:31:04 am
Rutgers Student Eaten by Brown Bear after doing pretty much every stupid thing possible.

...I don't have to run faster than the bear, I just have to run faster than you.
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wombat

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #607 on: November 18, 2014, 05:54:35 pm »
Black bear, not brown. It makes a difference. Hardly anyone gets killed by black bears.
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pmcd9

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #608 on: November 18, 2014, 07:56:08 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on November 17, 2014, 07:29:30 pm
I can't watch those cute "look at this huge dog that's friends with a tiny duck" type videos because I feel absolute dread that at any moment the dog could just rip the duck in half, and knowing the Internet they would just post it without warning for lulz.

I once brought home a baby chick from the hardware store. I pulled him out of the bag to show the cat. "Look at the cute little... " SLAP! Fuckin' cat slapped the shit out of the chick, broke it's neck. WTF cat!
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pmcd9

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #609 on: November 18, 2014, 08:41:07 pm »
Just sayin'
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pmcd9

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #610 on: November 18, 2014, 08:41:56 pm »
Quote from: Asherdan on November 18, 2014, 08:21:57 pm
I once got a duck for easter and my toddler aged brother came walking out later that day with my duck, holding him by the neck. Killed him dead as shit.

That's cold ass shit. No wonder you hate that fucker. Ha ha ha...
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theinevitable

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #611 on: November 19, 2014, 02:34:08 am »
my mom, too, has a horror story about hugging her baby chicks to death on easter.

Yeah, I meant black bear. I knew that, I knew that brown bears are the ones I have nightmares about.

Polar bears, though. GET AWAY FROM THOSE BEARS, SANTA. THEY WILL HIDE IN A BLIZZARD AND EAT YOUR GUTS.
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jaydub

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #612 on: November 19, 2014, 07:41:54 pm »
They are so enormous - polar bears, that is. 

(polar top left, brown/black on bottom, grizzly top right)
Black bears look like stuffed toys in comparison.  I sure hope they adapt to the environment our arctic areas are becoming. 
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #613 on: November 19, 2014, 09:00:26 pm »
Quote from: Asherdan on November 18, 2014, 08:21:57 pm
I once got a duck for easter and my toddler aged brother came walking out later that day with my duck, holding him by the neck. Killed him dead as shit.
It was a fad for men at my school to raise birds. Once I was assigned baby sitting duty for a flock of chickens and ducks. The school police force got hip to this trend and actively sought out students who were tending to birds.
Officer Travis: I see you've got some birds here. Are they your birds?
ACAP (walking away from the birds): No sir. Those are the Lord's birds. I have no claim on that which is The Lord's.
That's an exact quote by the way. I literally walked away from a cop and abandoned my friend's birds by assigning possession of the birds to God.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2014, 09:07:21 pm by Arachno-capitalist »
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

AugustWest

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #614 on: November 19, 2014, 09:16:06 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on November 19, 2014, 02:34:08 am
my mom, too, has a horror story about hugging her baby chicks to death on easter.


As does Mrs. West.
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