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[jaydub]

#*#*# god is bringing the heat.  Homeboy smackdowns all up ins.  Can you play effectively with one hand holding up your #####?  Doubles of course.

[robot_god]

What I definitely should have that shirt for is foosball.  Without exaggeration I could probably go professional at that game.  Also, FYI, pro foosball does indeed exist.

[jaydub]

Keep it up man, you gonna be in the niche-sport hall of relative-fame. Jaydub can join you there.

Pff, I am so unfamous in my niche sport that the biggest trophy on my shelf is an anonymous picture on a website of me winning a faceoff.

[Drygioni]

Robogod, I would fuck*ng destroy you at table football. I have won money on the damn thing.

I call you out for a match

[robot_god]

Hah hah hah, oh would you now, I was winning money on challenge matches back when you were a spermatozoa.

I've beaten entire bars one handed without giving up a single goal.  My students, whose entire skill sets comes from just trying to beat me, have shutout entire festivals.  I'm talking like fifteen games, only one goal conceded, 150-1 aggregate.  I woulda made it 150-0.

I hold the ball and my opponents shudder in fear and anticipation.

[wombat]

I keep thinking the title of this thread is "What's your area's hairball scene like?"

[KeithHernandez]

My dad helped put himself through law school by betting on foosball.  He lived in Germany when they had it there but not in the states, so he had quite the advantage when he came back to the US.  Me?  I blow, and because of that do not like it.  I have a friend who is really good though.  He can beat me with his non-dominant hand only.  I would have to be lucky to score a goal.

[pmcd9]

I love to play foosball, but I have never been very good at it.

[robot_god]

The ground floor [of this house that I am in] is a deli.  The basement is pretty big and I hang out down there on a typical weekday night.  That is where my foosball tables have been kept.

The first foos table I had down there was just some table top thing someone found being thrown out of an apartment, we put it on a folding table and used a golf ball for the ball.  It sparked the crowd's interest and a dude and I went half on a $60 table from Sears, very italian-style (tornado-style) but a cheap piece-a crap.  The next table was a floor model of a $250+ table on clearance for like a buck and change.  Solid wood, german style.  It was never assembled right (floor model had to be transported intact, OMGGGG what a project) eventually became very loose at the joints and fell apart when two dudes fistfighting rolled into the legs.  My current table was $400 bucks, a Christmas gift to myself, I led the team through a great assembly and it is still strong after I think about four years.





Badass german-style, tornado is for tossers.

[Drygioni]

Hah hah hah, oh would you now, I was winning money on challenge matches back when you were a spermatozoa.

I've beaten entire bars one handed without giving up a single goal.  My students, whose entire skill sets comes from just trying to beat me, have shutout entire festivals.  I'm talking like fifteen games, only one goal conceded, 150-1 aggregate.  I woulda made it 150-0.

I hold the ball and my opponents shudder in fear and anticipation.

Yeah, well, maybe you'd do alright.

I've won money but mostly due to other people not being as good. We have a decent Garlando at home which I've spent many hours practicing on so I can beat most chaps.

I'm alright defensively, but my real strengths are good control when sideways knocking between the strikers and the wrist flick strength of a rhino. A rhino with wrists.

[robot_god]

The best part of my game is probably defense in a 2 on 2 game.  I make reaction saves that I can't even believe I make.  Then I take angled shots from the two man stick that are absolute torture for both opponents to try to save.

I take mostly drag shots.  I either control the ball and drag it around back and forth, or to be really dramatic I'll plant it dead stopped on the pitch and just stand next to it and WAIT........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


. . . BAM!  Out of nowhere I drag it past the defender, usually dragging the ball inside towards the goal, and at light speed as soon as I clear the defender shoot it like a rocket, at an angle, towards the posts.  I do more of a fingertip roll than a wrist flick, but my secret is that it's like throwing a punch, the momentum of the shot starts in the floor and twists through the hips before it gets to the fingers, and if I'm nice and loose, no man can react quick enough to get infront of it.  Sounds like the table is gonna break when the ball clacks against the back of the goal.  Left hand, I wrist flick.  Usually once a game I'll be flashy and use my right hand on a typically left handed stick and it usually confuses most players ideas of typical defense for a pretty powerful SOG.

To be pro level, all the best players have a shot that is described as 'unbeatable' or 'unblockable' pretty much how I describe my drag shot above, but all the top players' shots are described as 'unseeable.'  All you do is hear the sound of the ball in the goal and the only way to play defense is by guesswork.  Unreal intimidation.

[littlefallsmets]

[Drygioni]

Well you'd probably rape me at table football by the sounds of things. Still, we don't get many serious players this side of the water. Every guy my age can play pool to a reasonable degree, darts maybe a little, but table football is a strictly 'fun' thing.

[robot_god]

Yeah it's pretty much the same thing over here, except that all my polack friends are extremely competitive at everything so everything is like "go hard or shut your pussy mouth" or it's not fun for anyone.  This one dude I beat in a game of eight-ball like ten years ago, I sunk the eightball on a bank shot, and he picked his cuestick over his head, slammed it as hard as possible flat on the rubber mat floor, AND IMMEDIATELY WALKED OUT he was so mad.  OMG, god forbid a polack loses in ping pong.  They go fuckin apeshit.  Well, we're all adults now, they don't go literally crazy, but they get pissed.

I'm kinda detached from the mentality, since I'm only half polish and basically straight American, but all the first born or only child polacks, children of immigrants... man, they really don't like to lose at anything.

That's why being the God of Foosball is so sweet.

In handball I can beat all of em except that cuestick dude, he is a God of Handball.

[robot_god]

Well you'd probably rape me at table football by the sounds of things. Still, we don't get many serious players this side of the water. Every guy my age can play pool to a reasonable degree, darts maybe a little, but table football is a strictly 'fun' thing.

No snooker?  Like, do any young dudes play it?  Hey, what is the ratio snooker/pool tables at a typical British hall?  Or snooker/pool/carom?

I guess over here it's kind of random, but if there are any non-pool tables at all it would be like 5-10% carom and the rest pool tables, and maybe at a really big hall it would be 2/30/6 snooker/pool/carom respectively.