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Author Topic: Cellphone Effenheimer  (Read 6630 times)

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pmcd9

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2011, 07:19:12 pm »
Quote from: jay-ell on August 07, 2011, 06:25:49 pm
Also, that is one of the best short true stories I have ever read on the internet or elsewhere. You should do something with that, there are magazines that pay good cash for stories like that for their "back page." Flipping hilarious.

I have three jokes under consideration by Readers Digest.
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side_show

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2011, 01:59:33 pm »
Yeah, I'm not sure if the boots will live up to expectation either.  They are packed away right now in a spot that's hard to get to, so I'm gonna let laziness prevale.

As for Paul's questions about my play getting published... I had an offer for it to be published as I noted elsewhere, but then the people who made the offer never replied to my follow up inquiries.  There has been just zero response and I'm losing hope.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #17 on: August 10, 2011, 05:28:39 pm »
Quote from: pmcd9 on August 07, 2011, 07:19:12 pm
I have three jokes under consideration by Readers Digest.

I sent in one that ends "I'm sure not going to ask for any more fuck*ng potatoes". I never heard back.*

*May not, in fact, be true.
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jaydub

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2011, 06:12:37 pm »
Quote from: jay-ell on August 07, 2011, 06:25:49 pm
I want to see the boots so I can lust after them. I am not a shoe lady, but I adore good boots. Mmmmmm, boot porn. 
Didn't your Touambie without ##### submission feature boots?
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jay-ell

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #19 on: August 12, 2011, 07:45:13 pm »
Yes. Yes it did.
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pmcd9

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2011, 11:45:17 pm »
Got a new cell phone last week.  This thing is just impossible to figure out.  I got so frustrated I used the F word on the phone with my mother.
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AugustWest

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #21 on: August 13, 2011, 01:59:52 am »
Quote from: pmcd9 on August 12, 2011, 11:45:17 pm
Got a new cell phone last week.  This thing is just impossible to figure out.  I got so frustrated I used the F word on the phone with my mother.

Mine had kind of a steep learning curve, but I love the hell out of it now.  Took about a month.

What kind is it?
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greenkoolayd

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #22 on: August 13, 2011, 03:36:51 am »
Quote from: AugustWest on August 13, 2011, 01:59:52 am
Mine had kind of a steep learning curve, but I love the hell out of it now.  Took about a month.

What kind is it?

motorola razr [[snicker]]
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pmcd9

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #23 on: August 13, 2011, 10:24:09 am »
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lprkn

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #24 on: August 13, 2011, 10:36:12 am »
Is Carl Sagan somehow involved in your ringtone situation? Because he should be.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #25 on: August 16, 2011, 12:04:55 am »
Quote from: pmcd9 on August 12, 2011, 11:45:17 pm
Got a new cell phone last week.  This thing is just impossible to figure out.  I got so frustrated I used the F word on the phone with my mother.
I have a visceral memory of the first time my mother ever heard me use the word fuck. It has been prominent in my mind since the age of fifteen or so.
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miles

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #26 on: August 16, 2011, 02:35:07 am »
Me too! I was like 25, and some guy got out of his car and approached our vehicle in traffic. My mom and my sister were in front and I was in back. I tried to get out but they kept locking the doors. So I rolled down my window and, well, said some regrettable things. It's never really been acknowledged, but I get the impression they kind of understood. Also, mostly happy that I didn't get out of the car. But yeah, I wince every time I think about it. I never swear in front of my mom.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #27 on: August 16, 2011, 08:31:49 am »
I was coming up the stairs into the kitchen after what passes for a bad day at junior high and cursing up a storm with that heady abandon only an adolescent can manage, and them I got to the top of the stairs and realized my mom was there. I was terrified. She never said a word about it.
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jay-ell

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #28 on: August 16, 2011, 03:28:40 pm »
I have never dropped and f-bomb in front of my mother. I almost did once, when I was a teenager, but I made the noticeably awkward transition to "Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffrrrreakin'" and she gave me a sidelong glance but didn't call me out on it.

The only times I've ever said any swears of any kind in front of my mom have been minor swears, like "shit" and "piss," and usually only when quoting my paternal grandmother.

My mom's mom never swore, she wouldn't even say the word "sex" out loud. She spelled it. When I was younger, I figured she just didn't want to say it in front of "the kids," but this persisted even after I was married and she was well into her 80s.
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side_show

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Re: Cellphone Effenheimer
« Reply #29 on: August 16, 2011, 06:17:21 pm »
I once told Sister McSweeney, my third grade teacher, that the boys were being mean to me and using swear words.  She wanted to know what words, but I said I was too embarassed to say which ones.  She said I could whisper them to her.  There was no one else in the classroom at the time, but for some reason, whispering felt reasonable.  So I have a memory of whispering "fuck" into a nun's ear.  Which is awesome.  I really liked Sister McSweeney.  I wonder if the school still feels a creepy and semi-haunted as it did when I was a kid.
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