Tonight, after our Christmas thingy, when we were driving Grandma back from my MIL's farm to the care home, she got pretty shaken up when we turned right (toward the care home) instead of left (toward the town she lived in for 80+ years). Then it became clear that we were basically strangers (to her in that moment) who were driving her to a town and place she didn't know. Can you imagine how scary that would be? So there was about a half hour of that, until we got to the home and brought her up to her room, and as I was hanging up her new Christmas sweaters she was looking in her closet at her clothes and fretting that the clothes belonged to someone else, and that I'd put her in some stranger's room. Then she opened the other side of her closet and thankfully there was a jewelry box in there that hubby and I had given her which had our photos (plus a bunch of other family photos), and then I helped her figure out who we are. Then there was this moment of clarity for her where she said we should drive home before it got too late. Then she slipped back into the dementia and was confused about why her stuff was in this closet in this strange room. I explained, gently, and for probably the tenth time that she would be sleeping here, and here were her pj's, and she should get comfy in them and get some rest. She thought that was a good idea, so we said our goodbyes and she said she wished we lived closer, which was sad but reassured me that she at least knew who I was because she always said that back before the strokes, and I replied the way I always used to that I wished we lived closer too.
So yeah, that and the first highway trip with hubby since he nearly died on the road, and I'm glad to say the roughest part of the holiday season is behind us.
Bonus awfulness: my hubby was in a graduating class of 12, with six boys, and a few years ago four of his male classmates were driving back to the city after Christmas carpool style and got struck by a drunk driver, two died. As we drove by the highway memorial of where they died we had a talk about how glad we both were that hubby didn't end up that way, and how I was glad I didn't have to put up fake flowers and pick up litter in a ditch somewhere. We talked a bit about his accident site and how different the highway we were on is to the road he crashed on. Hubby did pretty well as a passenger. I talked through some techniques for dealing with anxiety before we went, which helped a bit, and really passing the memorial gave him a good opportunity to talk it out too.
Anyway, intense times today, and if that weren't enough to wind me up, I drank a bunch of coke so I'd be extra alert for the 1 1/2hr drive home in the pitch black tonight. So no sleep for me tonight. I just offered to go fuck some of this energy out of me though, so it's time to stop typing this on my iPhone and go get busy!
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Topic: Merry CHRISTmas! (Read 17817 times)