The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Trains are saying "hello".  All this time, we just snub them.

Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: "The lovable mammals..."  (Read 8138 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

jaydub

  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1493
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5056
  • Arrant pedantry
    • View Profile
"The lovable mammals..."
« on: January 14, 2012, 12:44:07 am »
Logged
If you desire peace, work for justice.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2012, 02:39:14 am »
If we are depending on dolphins for anything, this country is in even worse shape than I thought.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

miles

  • Stinkfist
  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10030
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3476
    • View Profile
    • Last.fm
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2012, 05:58:09 am »
Oh man, I heard this exchange on the radio:

Quote
KEATING: They are astounding in their ability to detect underwater objects.
NPR's TOM BOWMAN: Dolphins were sent to the Persian Gulf as part of the American invasion force in Iraq.
KEATING: I'd rather not talk about whether we used them or not. They were present in theater.
BOWMAN: But you can't say whether you used them or not.
KEATING: I'd rather not.

Jesus. It reminded me of this conversation I had with this dude at some bar in Vegas. He started talking about this one time he was swimming with dolphins or something and looked into a dolphin's eyes and could see how intelligent the mammal was, much more intelligent than any human, and then how the eyes pierced his soul and all this unicorn bullshit. So after a while I cut him off and said "but have you ever tried dolphin flesh?* It's delicious." He looked at me like I had just fucked his cat. It was striking because he was a really conservative guy in that he supported the wars, didn't like immigrants and homosexuals, that kind of conservative. He supported sending men and women off to die, but I can imagine how horrified he'd be by this story.

*I've never tried dolphin flesh. Unless those tuna cans are lying.
Logged
Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2012, 05:01:22 pm »
It's been so long, it took me ages to remember how to give Miles a thousand cans for that.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

greenkoolayd

  • VIP
  • Sanryobuki Artificial Liver
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 697
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2889
  • i make passes at girls who wear glasses.
    • View Profile
    • mi facebook
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2012, 05:38:35 pm »
wait, so all this ado people make over IQ tests and all weve had to do all along was stare deeply into the subjects eyes?  wtf, science?!
Logged
"I could tell you the first rule of Spite Club, but I won’t."

miles

  • Stinkfist
  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10030
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3476
    • View Profile
    • Last.fm
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2012, 05:10:54 am »
Logged
Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2012, 03:05:45 pm »
If I didn't have to draw the line somewhere, that would be another thousand cans.

But you know, there is nothing irrational about being afraid of dolphins. They are gang rapists and baby-murderers and humans are not safe either.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2012, 07:06:28 pm »
hm. I'd say it's a tiny bit irrational to be afraid of dolphins. Maybe it makes sense if you spend a lot of time in the ocean. But it's not like dolphins are going to come and break into your house and kill your baby.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2012, 07:13:09 pm »
"The sentimental view that these animals are harmless stems at least in part from the fact that they are usually in the water and we are usually on boats or dry land: they can’t get at us.” -Karen Pryor, animal behavior and dolphin expert

But because people don't have the sense to be afraid of dolphins they do stuff like pay money to go swimming with them on purpose. When they'd never do the same to, say, go running with a pack of lions.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2012, 08:48:50 pm »
A dolphin did in fact rape my cat once. To be fair, the cat was asking for it.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2012, 10:16:40 pm »
I think I might have swam with dolphins as a child. I guess it didn't make a strong impression.

I seem to remember that I was freaked out by it, though.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2012, 12:08:31 am »
As you should have been!
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2012, 04:26:51 am »
Quote from: Asherdan on January 20, 2012, 12:32:20 am
I swam with dolphins on porpoise once.

Sorry dude, that one cost you a can. 
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2012, 05:46:59 pm »
Quote from: pmcd9 on January 20, 2012, 04:26:51 am
Sorry dude, that one cost you a can. 

Paul: tough, but fair.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

miles

  • Stinkfist
  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10030
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3476
    • View Profile
    • Last.fm
Re: "The lovable mammals..."
« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2012, 01:26:41 pm »
Hey, remember when we were talking shit about dolphins?

OH SHIIIIIT
Logged
Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up
« previous next »