I could be a hoarder if I had a sadder life. I watched all of the first season of the A&E show back when it first hit Netflix, and I watched a couple of episodes today (inspired by this thread and a recent article in Slate). I think the thing that disturbs me most about the show is that I really feel for the subjects. When they get pissed at people for throwing things away without their permission, when they have a story or intention to use every object in their homes, when they just break down and cry because of the overwhelming nature of the problem, I totally get that. I think to myself, there, but for the grace of God, go I.
The one that really got me today was the 40 year old firefighter who lives an organized and regimented life at the fire station but whose home is in absolute chaos. There were aspects of his home that were really tidy -- he had a mountain of papers in labeled boxes dating back fifteen years. He didn't feel like he had time to go through them to see what could be tossed, so he just put them in boxes and stacked them up until they swallowed his entire spare room. I get that. It's not a lack of organization; it's perfectionism. Feeling the pressure to deal with things thoroughly, which is time-consuming, ultimately leads to indefinite procrastination, which is something I've certainly fallen victim to in my own life.
I have an attic full of things I didn't have time to deal with when we moved, most of which I haven't missed in two and a half years and could probably be safely thrown out. I just can't do it -- not without looking. But unlike most of the people on Hoarders, I have a support system and the emotional distance to be able to make the decision to throw stuff away when I need to.
My weakness is usefulness -- I want to keep things that are "still perfectly good" or that I have some kind of intention to use, however farfetched. (I'm going to use those broken plates to make a mosaic...trivet...or something.) Pedro is a sentimentalist -- he is afraid if he throws away something connected with a memory, he'll lose that memory and hence a small piece of himself. (When we got married, he had a huge box containing every birthday card he'd ever received.) But we are able to help each other make decisions instead of dragging each other into a downward spiral, like a lot of the co-hoarding couples I've seen on the show. That's the difference, I think -- we're able to call each other on our bullshit instead of enabling each other to make bad decisions.
Author
Topic: 17th November 2009 - Are you a hoarder? (Time Magazine) (Read 5847 times)