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[Asherdan]

[Choop]

i moved in the middle of fifth grade, and then again between fifth and sixth grades. it's a bummer, but my brother was in second grade at the time and he had a much better time adjusting than did i. basically, if you're going to move, do it now before he gets older. second graders are much more welcoming of a new kid than are older kids. he'll be fine.

[theinevitable]

I moved mid-year 3rd grade and became the super well-adjusted man you know today. It only messed me up because my new school was way ahead, so I had to learn cursive and multiplication as extra homework. Which was no fun.

[pmcd9]

I moved middle of second grade. Take that for what it's worth.

[Arachno-capitalist]

I moved all the time as a young kid (military family) and my parents never acted like it was a big deal, so I just took their lead. You're going to be meeting new people and adjusting to different environments your whole life anyway. For a short time when I was older we moved to Monterey Bay, CA. THAT WAS AWESOME.  I don't have a reference point for knowing what it is like to live in the same place your entire life, but it sounds boring. Romantic I guess, but boring.

[AugustWest]

I moved after fifth grade, after sixth grade and after ninth grade.  It has its pluses and minuses.  It's an adjustment, and it takes a couple years before you feel like you're really a part of the community.  But it gives you perspective and makes you more independent.  You have more friends in more places.  I'd say it'd definitely be easier when you're younger.

[greenkoolayd]

learning a new city in your 30s can kiss my grits, kinda.

[pmcd9]

Ash is moving, but not to a new city. His kids are going to be in a new school, but he's going to the same job.

[jay-ell]

I made a major move when I was between middle school and high school but that situation was so weird that it has no bearing on your situation at all. And we haven't moved my kids much (just across town) so I have no practical advice from that perspective either. Except maybe let him make some of the decisions about his new room? (Wall color, where the bed should be, etc.) Participation in the process always eases the road for a kid in transition, no matter what it is.

[wombat]

I'm surprised Ash is such a softie about this. I'd have figured he'd just tell the kid to suck it up and tough it out.

[jaydub]

I agree with the sentiment that the younger, the better when it comes to changing schools.  I moved as a 6th grader, and it was a pretty lonely year.  It wasn't until I changed schools again for middle school and everyone else was as adrift that the social situation got better.

Except maybe let him make some of the decisions about his new room? (Wall color, where the bed should be, etc.) Participation in the process always eases the road for a kid in transition, no matter what it is.

I moved houses (but not schools) between 3rd and 4th grade.  It was an adventure because the property we moved into was actively under construction (acting as caretakers for the overseas owner).  It was a 5 bed 3.5 bath custom house built of sandstone from an on-site quarry.  It sat on 5 acres of undeveloped hillside bush country and had a 1/4 mile unpaved driveway next to a natural pond just inside the boundaries.  A neighbor lived in a trailer and built custom motorcycles and had a huge, friendly dog that visited us like he was our own.  Also on the property (besides the quarry and pond) were a wrecked car, a cave (wind hollowed from the sandstone hillside), a torn-down shack, and a fence on the back boundary separating us from a hoss farm.

I definitely missed my friends from the old neighborhood (although I had only lived there for about 2 years too) and it was a long way from my school friends' houses too, so it was more of a production to go to sleepovers, birthday parties, etc.  On the whole though, it was a very positive experience.  That was as close to an idyllic chapter in my life as I can recall.  Every kid should spend some time in a semi-rural dwelling.  Seeing life with rain-catch water, septic tanks, and a weekly trip to the garbage dump (the "tip") teaches all kinds of awareness about what it takes to have a modern life.

[jay-ell]

BTW, we haven't really talked about moving and a new place at all to the youngest (the older boy is in the loop as a non-voting member). I'm thinking of how to break this too him when we have things strapped in.

"Start throwing your old toys in the give-away box, we're gonna pull stakes" is prolly not the way I want to go.

However you break it, make sure he doesn't view it as "breaking the news." It's like talking to your kids about sex; ideally, it should be a series of brief, low-key conversations with plenty of time for processing afterwards and an occasional, "Hey, that thing we talked about yesterday? Got any questions yet? No? OK, let me know when you do."

So maybe a good way to start would be a few pics of the new place, with a discussion of "hey, wouldn't this be a cool place to live? Well guess what..."

[Bobby Isosceles]

So this seems kind of unfair, a little. Plus I don't want to fuck him up.

Any opinions from those of youse who moved around a little bit?

I moved around a fair bit as a child and was none the worse for wear. Except for the whole murdering hobos part.

But seriously, humans are surprisingly resilient. At the risk of sounding glib, 200 years ago, there's a very real chance that at least one of your children wouldn't have survived past early childhood. The others would have witnessed such tragedy, and while it certainly takes its toll, consider this:  if humans weren't capable of handling great life upheavals as they grew up, none of us would survive to sire the next generation.

Humans are plucky (+2 CON, damnit) and children doubly so. You'll be fine.

Unless you're a hobo.

[wombat]

I'll be going from the OC to the Inland Empire. I'll keep the same job (I'm working it so I get to ride the train - weee)

Wait a minute, the heck with the kids, this is the part that sounds dubious. How long is this commute?

[Doc]

I moved house in preschool, end of first grade, end of second grade, end of fifth grade and then changed schools for sixth grade. I turned out ok I think. I do sometimes regret I don't have any true friends from small times, but to be honest I went through highschool with all the same guys and I'm only in contact with one or two of them now so maybe I wouldn't be in touch with friends from childhood either?