Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood Young man on the #6 bus, The Doors were not a British band.

Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Dragonfire Resurection  (Read 900 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 604
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12616
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Dragonfire Resurection
« on: September 29, 2014, 11:17:14 pm »

Dragonfire is currently deceased, but there are plans for it's resurrection. I've started a GoFundMe page to raise money to pay for repairs. Thank you to Ash and Wombat for your contributions. What I would love is if you big brains of the literary bent would critique my paragraphs and offer suggestions on how I might improve them. And if there is anyone here who knows a thing or two about how to persuade people to open their purse strings if you could suggest language that might facilitate that, that would be appreciated as well.

Here is a link to the page. Thanks!
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 633
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12301
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Dragonfire Resurection
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2014, 12:32:03 am »

Actually I thought that was a great story and really well written. The only comment I have is that you can't seem to settle on the gender of your car
Quote
A wrecker brought her the last 50 miles and now he sits lifeless in my driveway awaiting his fate.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 604
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12616
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Dragonfire Resurection
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2014, 02:56:54 am »

Yeah, I really can't decide on his/her gender. I think it's a he because in many ways it's an extension of me and my personality. It seems weird to me to think of my flame throwing, stripper poling drenched in testosterone artcar as a she. On the other hand inanimate objects are typically considered female. So I just don't know.
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

KeithHernandez

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1014
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3176
  • I am, again, Keith Hernandez
    • View Profile
Re: Dragonfire Resurection
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2014, 06:22:29 am »

If it's good it's female, if it's bad it's male.
Logged
You say one day soon we will all stand as brothers, 'til then I guess we'll just stand around.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 633
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12301
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Dragonfire Resurection
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2014, 12:23:21 pm »

Well, there's always "it." But giving it a gender and personifying it probably works better for telling a story like this. But you should pick one and go with it, otherwise it looks like a typo.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

jaydub

  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1493
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5054
  • Arrant pedantry
    • View Profile
Re: Dragonfire Resurection
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2014, 12:42:05 am »

She's just very butch.
Logged
If you desire peace, work for justice.
Pages: [1]   Go Up