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[jay-ell]

I have a friend who never went to college, and since I did he's always trying to impress me with something he knows, but he feels an inferiority complex and has lately been trying painfully to make "intellectual" conversation. Last night he was talking about dinosaurs, and when I couldn't answer his questions (I never took the class on the emergence of dinosaurs) he said that didn't matter, because he was hoping that I could at least acknowledge that he was asking "good questions." This guy has it pretty bad, as you can see, JL. How can I address his chemically-induced questions without making him cry like a little girl because of his intellectual inadequacy?

Signed,
"College Educated But Having Problems With People From My Hometown Who Now Assume That I Have All Of The fuck*ng Answers To All Of Life's Questions"

Dear fhqwhgads,

Tell your friend to go to college.  

That’s a flip answer, but I’m more than half serious.   He’s got that unique combination of ego and insecurity that makes one look like a colossal ass.  On one hand, he has to prove that you and all your book larnin’ ain’t no better than his down-home street sense, and on the other hand, he’s trying to dispel his own insecurities by what folks in the old country used to call “putting on airs.”  Going to college will either (a) deflate his ego or (b) give him enough positive feedback on the quality of his inquiries that he’ll be confident enough to not annoy people who are smarter than him.  Plus, he might learn about dinosaurs – how cool is that?  

I don’t know how old your friend is, but I’m a big believer in adult and/or continuing education.  He’ll feel better about himself if he takes a class or two at the local community college, and by encouraging him to engage in self-improvement, you’ll be viewed as a supportive friend rather than a competitor.  If cost is an issue for him (a factor which keeps many otherwise deserving people out of higher education), invite him over, rent Good Will Hunting, and loan him your library card.  

[slink]

Plus, he might learn about dinosaurs – how cool is that?  

Genius! Ray has valid literary competition!

[jough]

When I first saw the subject line, I thought it was board grafitti.  Then I saw it was posted by jld.  So I read it and understood the meaning.  Very nice.

But going to college isn't going to cause the dim-witted to become smart, is it?  Wouldn't failing at college be worse for the ego?

[slink]

I'm a big proponent of leaning something, and that it should be a continual process.  I'd go so far to say what you learn doesn't necessarily have to particularly useful, just interesting to you.

Absolutely. I too feel the same way. I don't understand how people can not want to learn about things. Though I don't always agree with the education system, I feel it is done in th wrong way, often leaving people goin over stuff that either doesn't interest them or that they already know. If it was more personalised, hell I would have finished High School properly!
I may be biased about the learning stuff, since I am like Bartleby in Dogma - always taking in knowledge. If I see something that interests me, I will suddenly become obsessed with learning as much about it as I can - how it works, who came up with it, what it's really all about. I am not content with not liking something, I want to know why. Say a controversial one - religion, which I am against (organised religion that is) so I spent (still do) time learning about it, coming up with valid reasons, even if just for myself, why I dont agree.
My book collection (the non fiction stuff) tends to scare people somewhat!

[V-Adore]

But going to college isn't going to cause the dim-witted to become smart, is it?  Wouldn't failing at college be worse for the ego?

I think the key here is that Giant Handle With Lots of Capitals's friend finds a class at his skill level, whatever it may be -- he doesn't have to be a genius to get something meaningful out of a community college course, or an underwater basketweaving seminar at the crafts store, or whatever. Besides, I don't get the feeling that this friend is dumb, just undereducated; obviously he wants to seem smart, so he's probably motivated to succeed. Good luck and godspeed to him -- I hope he learns much dinosaur lore.

[jay-ell]

Amen, V.  I agree wholeheartedly, and you said it better.  Thanks.

[revdj]

I've noticed that most people hit a certain age (what age depends on the person) and they suddenly stop wanting to learn anything new.  As a college professor, it is disheartening when I see someone hit that age when they are 19 and 20 - and it becomes, "Get me a degree so I can get a job and never have to learn again."  I have had colleagues who hit that point in their early 30s - and these are PROFESSORS.  

It must be so boring to live and not want to learn anything.  Why do you think people make that choice?  That wasn't a rhetorical question.  It's something I've wondered about.

[jough]

Rev, I think people are just lazy.

And some people just do not have inquisitive minds.  They just don't care.

I find myself taking on a new hobby, interest, etc. every few months just to try to learn more about something.  Sometimes that interest "sticks" and I'll keep doing it (although maybe not as intensely).  Other times I can find that it's not for me (like Dutch Surgical History - don't even *ask* me how I got into that).

Anyway, people need to find their own pace.  You can't really help but learn things - it's biological.