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Author Topic: The Best Albums That Never Were  (Read 4332 times)

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Bozack

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The Best Albums That Never Were
« on: February 09, 2004, 08:00:34 pm »
A friend and I have a running joke about the "Tree Wizard," which is the person who tells other people where to go on the subway. No-one knows where "Tree Wizard" came from, but we say it all the damn time, so we decided the Tree Wizard needs his own album. But his recording name is "Tree Wyzard."

What other great albums don't, technically, exist?
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jough

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The Best Albums That Never Were
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2004, 08:04:43 pm »


Featuring such Aztec Gold hits as:

"Nahua Life (Teotihuacán Club Mix)" by Tenochca
"Toltec the Bitch" by the Chichimecs
"Calpulli Your Macehualles" by the Wetbacks
"Viva Las Tenochtitlan" by Tenchiolictic Chimectecacola
"I Met Her By the Wall of Skulls" by Human Sacrifice
"Let Your Sun Stone Fly" by Flat Earth Society
"Cuauhxicalli In My Stone Hut" by Bob Xiuhpohualli

and the ever popular:

"Revenge" by the Montezumas
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The Best Albums That Never Were
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2004, 08:24:32 pm »
Quote from: "jough"
Aztec Gold


I hadn't previously noticed that this was a Prime Time Records release.   Nice.
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Limmo

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The Best Albums That Never Were
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2004, 08:37:28 pm »
The best album that never was: a various-artists compilation called Struck By Video that "came out" in 1981 on the Warner Special Products label.  It featured cover versions of popular television themes by rock bands.  Some of the cuts included were the Talking Heads' version of Petticoat Junction, David Johansen doing Car 54, Where Are You and the Clash performing the theme from "their favorite TV show," The San Pedro Beach Bums.  

Creem Magazine ran a review of this album in 1981.  Needless to say, it was complete bullshit.  Oh, but if it weren't....
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PinkStainlessTail

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The Best Albums That Never Were
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2004, 08:44:59 pm »
A Very Cabaret Voltaire Christmas
Smile: Authorized Brian Wilson Approved Version
The Other Side of the Wind: original motion picture soundtrack

See also: the complete works of Mingering Mike.
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jough

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« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2004, 08:49:47 pm »
How about the original motion picture soundtrack to "Chasing Amy."
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Mite

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« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2004, 02:40:19 am »
I would totally buy that tree wyzard album. My students would hella dig it. Though I feel obligated to note that 'round these parts, it's spelled 'crunk'. Don't even get me started on 'fi'.
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CortJstr

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« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2004, 01:53:09 pm »
Quote from: "Mite"
I would totally buy that tree wyzard album. My students would hella dig it. Though I feel obligated to note that 'round these parts, it's spelled 'crunk'. Don't even get me started on 'fi'.


Isn't krunk a Conan reference? From way back when he was first on.
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« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2004, 06:31:46 pm »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Quote from: "Mite"
I would totally buy that tree wyzard album. My students would hella dig it. Though I feel obligated to note that 'round these parts, it's spelled 'crunk'. Don't even get me started on 'fi'.


Isn't krunk a Conan reference? From way back when he was first on.


I'm glad I'm not the only one to remember/have hallucinated that.  He pushed it as an all-purpose replacement for other swears, as something the censors couldn't have a problem with.
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AlohaDawg

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« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2004, 06:40:29 pm »
Actually, I was always pretty sure he was making a reference to his deity, Crom. By Crom, For Crom, Oh, for Crom's sake...that sort of thing. Definitely he worships Crom in the books and also he mentions them in the movies.
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AugustWest

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The Best Albums That Never Were
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2004, 06:44:26 pm »
"Crunk" was in fact a Conan O'Brien thing in the early years.

"Crom" was a Conan the Barbarian thing.

I love these little humourous misunderstandings.  Spice of life and all...
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AlohaDawg

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« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2004, 06:51:02 pm »
Hey, give me a break, it's early way over here AND my doctor told me to cut back on the caffeine, which means I have to do Meth to take the edge of the heroin so I can go to work.

It is funny though, and since I lack the ability to laugh with you at me, I am going to go and kill myself.

I hope I didn't put this board on my resume or CV. This post could make me look less desirable as an employee.
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AugustWest

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« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2004, 06:52:53 pm »
Don't take it so hard, man.

We all make stupid, hilarious mistakes sometimes.  And we're not laughing AT you we're laughing --

Well, OK we are laughing AT you.  Ha Ha.
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AlohaDawg

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« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2004, 07:34:59 pm »
In the hilarious words of a forebear:

TO THE CROWS WITH ALL OF YOU!

mua-hahahahahahahah
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CortJstr

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« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2004, 09:42:42 pm »
Quote from: "AugustWest"
"Crunk" was in fact a Conan O'Brien thing in the early years.


I'm pretty frelling sure it was "krunk" with a K. Smeg head.

I originally tried to work "shock" in there but figured that was too obscure even for this board.
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