The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Yay us!
Happy 9th Birthday to TOUAMB.

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5   Go Down

Author Topic: Ferocious J  (Read 13907 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ben-San

  • -=Ray=-
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 164
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1259
  • Two-Fisted Detective
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #15 on: February 13, 2004, 08:44:25 pm »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
It's like rabbis figuring out how you do a kosher slaughtering of a giraffe, but somehow less amusing and more disturbing.


Kosher giraffe slaughter is basically the same as kosher anything else slaughter. The joke was that you have too many possibilities about where to cut the artery in the neck, but apparently you can pretty much pick anywhere you like along its length. The main problem is getting a giraffe and raising it correctly in the first place. They're pretty pricey.
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2004, 09:33:39 pm »
Quote from: "Ben-San"
Quote from: "V-Adore"
It's like rabbis figuring out how you do a kosher slaughtering of a giraffe, but somehow less amusing and more disturbing.


Kosher giraffe slaughter is basically the same as kosher anything else slaughter. The joke was that you have too many possibilities about where to cut the artery in the neck, but apparently you can pretty much pick anywhere you like along its length. The main problem is getting a giraffe and raising it correctly in the first place. They're pretty pricey.


Bastard giraffes making my dinner difficult. Quit eating leaves and get in my belly!
Logged

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2004, 11:33:57 pm »
Oh damn.  Seriously weird.  

I'm going to have to put my foot down: no more discussion of eating kosher giraffe placenta.  

No more.
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

andalucia

  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 2
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1680
    • View Profile
    • http://www.awesomeblurry.com
Ferocious J
« Reply #18 on: February 13, 2004, 11:55:32 pm »
But--
Logged
goose means greedy

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2004, 01:48:11 am »
Quote from: "jldunston"
no more discussion of eating kosher giraffe placenta.


Sentence of the Week!
Logged

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #20 on: February 14, 2004, 04:36:19 am »
Seriously? And after I just had kosher giraffe placenta tonight, in a wonderful balsamic and basil oil reduction, with a sweet-potato mash and grilled asparagus.

I got the recipe for the chef, but apparently I'm not allowed to post it.
 :cry:
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

Ben-San

  • -=Ray=-
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 164
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1259
  • Two-Fisted Detective
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #21 on: February 14, 2004, 08:04:01 am »
Anyone who claims to eat kosher giraffe placenta is immediately established as a liar who is lying. Not only is giraffe placenta not kosher, but there is no such thing as the placenta of a kosher giraffe (baby animals and pregnant animals not being kosher, either). Thus, either way you are out of luck in the kosher giraffe placenta department.
Logged

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Ferocious J
« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2004, 04:30:13 pm »
What makes you think that a giraffe placenta can't be kosher?  I mean, I've bought HOT DOGS that were kosher - surely a rabbi could bless a giraffe placenta and call it clean!

Not that I want to linger too long on this point, mind you.
Logged

Ben-San

  • -=Ray=-
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 164
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1259
  • Two-Fisted Detective
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2004, 05:59:34 pm »
Quote from: "jough"
What makes you think that a giraffe placenta can't be kosher?  I mean, I've bought HOT DOGS that were kosher - surely a rabbi could bless a giraffe placenta and call it clean!


So-called "kosher hot dogs" are a bit misleading. They should perhaps be called "kosher beef sausages" as they do not, generally speaking, contain the requisite percentage of unidentifiable animal portions to be qualified as a hot dog.
Logged

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Ferocious J
« Reply #24 on: February 14, 2004, 08:06:47 pm »
I generally get Hebrew National Beef Franks, and find that they contain all of the nasty stuff that regular brand Beef Hot Dogs do, except they use kosher ingredients (i.e. kosher salt, etc.) that the other brands do not.

As far as I know, the kosher dogs contain things like beef tongue, pancreas, and hoove meat, too.
Logged

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #25 on: February 14, 2004, 09:26:56 pm »
Finally! I was wondering how long we had to exist as a message board until we got our very own Pedantic Asshole™. It's going to make life here so much less sweet.
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

Ben-San

  • -=Ray=-
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 164
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1259
  • Two-Fisted Detective
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #26 on: February 14, 2004, 09:41:49 pm »
It's not my intention to be a pedantic asshole, but then I guess it never is anyone's. If it's annoying, I'll stop rambling about kosher laws. I thought they might constitute amusing trivia.
Logged

andalucia

  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 2
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1680
    • View Profile
    • http://www.awesomeblurry.com
Ferocious J
« Reply #27 on: February 14, 2004, 09:51:48 pm »
Don't worry about it.  All part of the initiation.  For what it's worth, I've found pedanticism will get you far on this board.
Logged
goose means greedy

St_Zartan

  • Philippe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 11
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 928
    • View Profile
    • http://zer-un.199x.net
Ferocious J
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2004, 10:02:40 pm »
Quote from: "andalucia"
For what it's worth, I've found pedanticism will get you far on this board.


AND HOW, SISTER
Logged

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Ferocious J
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2004, 10:50:41 pm »
Quote from: "andalucia"
Don't worry about it.  All part of the initiation.  For what it's worth, I've found pedanticism will get you far on this board.


I believe the word you're looking for is "pedantry".
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5   Go Up
« previous next »