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@achewood Jumping jacks, flinging myself off of low decks, yelling into an empty bottle of carrot juice. Trying to get in writing mode.

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Author Topic: Where is...?  (Read 25406 times)

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jay-ell

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« Reply #90 on: June 01, 2004, 03:25:16 pm »
Our ISP has been flaky ("intermittant connectivity," the self-righteous tech support bitchboy informed us) and blanked out completely this past weekend, so Pedro and I went and rediscovered the outside world.  After our eyes re-adjusted to the excessive levels of ultraviolet radiation that blankets your world, we hit the mall and spent five hours shopping for a completely new summer wardrobe for me.  It seems that after losing twenty-five pounds, none of my old clothes fit...I had dresses in my closet that I couldn't possibly wear to church because they would fall right off.  So five dresses, three skirts, a pair of jeans, a blouse, and a $10 pair of shoes later, I've managed to round out my wardrobe without overstuffing my (rather small) closet or breaking the bank.  

My darling, wonderful, patient husband accompanied me, waited outside every dressing room (with a GameBoy, but patiently nonetheless) and gave me his honest yet tactful opinions on every one of the approximately seven billion outfits I tried on.  I'll tell you what, guys, if you want to score points with your woman, tell her that dress makes her butt look big before she buys it.  

Now that I have decent-looking "skinny clothes," I can finally take some "after" photos.  I should probably lose that last five pounds first, but I'm so close to my goal that I don't think that last five will make that much of a difference, appearance-wise.  I'm within my "ideal zone" now so that's what counts, no?
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"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

Nabubrush

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Where is...?
« Reply #91 on: June 01, 2004, 04:45:19 pm »
Quote from: "jldunston"
the self-righteous tech support bitchboy

I like this.

Quote from: "jldunston"
I had dresses in my closet that I couldn't possibly wear to church because they would fall right off.

I would attend this church.
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Pedro Picasso

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« Reply #92 on: June 01, 2004, 04:48:34 pm »
Quote from: "Limmo"
I divided my weekend among three activities:

1. Sleeping.

2. Chasing my daughter.

3. Going to stores to figure out what to do inside this house we just bought.


I have also been busy sleeping and chasing Limmo's daughter.
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Limmo

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« Reply #93 on: June 01, 2004, 04:54:18 pm »
Quote from: "Pedro Picasso"
I have also been busy sleeping and chasing Limmo's daughter.


That was you?  Sorry about the shiner.
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Limmo

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« Reply #94 on: June 01, 2004, 04:56:52 pm »
Quote from: "Nabubrush drinks (a lot)"
I spent the weekend putting the finishing touches on my new album with Axl Rose.


So you're the reason the album hasn't been released yet!  fuck*ng hurry up!!
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Bozack

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« Reply #95 on: June 02, 2004, 02:55:55 am »
Because of godawful weather that has essentially made the Bluegrass State its BITCH, I just got power back after two days without. Now, I'm gorging myself on everything I missed. Apparently, the main thing I missed was my ex-girlfriend telling me how great her new man is, so right now I'm stuffing my face with that.


Sigh.
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V-Adore

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« Reply #96 on: June 02, 2004, 03:16:13 am »
Quote from: "Bozack"
. Apparently, the main thing I missed was my ex-girlfriend telling me how great her new man is, so right now I'm stuffing my face with that.


Sigh.

Man, what the hell possesses people to do that? Bitterness, I'm sure, but it's just vile behavior. Vile, I say.
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AugustWest

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« Reply #97 on: June 02, 2004, 03:45:54 am »
Quote from: "Bozack"
Because of godawful weather that has essentially made the Bluegrass State its BITCH


Preach it, brother!  It's like 6 p.m., time for your nightly funnel cloud sighting...
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Bozack

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« Reply #98 on: June 02, 2004, 03:54:48 am »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
Man, what the hell possesses people to do that? Bitterness, I'm sure, but it's just vile behavior. Vile, I say.


......After I made the original comment, she proceeded to tell me how big her new boyfriends tool is, and how amazing the sex is. Then she acted suprised that I got pissed off. Well, I'm officially never talking to her again, and I got mad enough I learned how to play "Steppin' Stone" (Minor Threat version) on the guitar in about 12 seconds flat.
So at least those are like two good things.
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andalucia

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« Reply #99 on: June 02, 2004, 10:30:12 am »
Ye gods, that is one un-classy girl.
It's ok Bozack, we still think you're neat.
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Pedro Picasso

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« Reply #100 on: June 02, 2004, 03:24:43 pm »
Quote from: "Limmo"
Quote from: "Pedro Picasso"
I have also been busy sleeping and chasing Limmo's daughter.


That was you?  Sorry about the shiner.


Yeah, no problem.  I'm fine.  Really.



Thanks for not pressing charges.
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Limmo

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« Reply #101 on: June 02, 2004, 03:59:09 pm »
Quote from: "Bozack"
......After I made the original comment, she proceeded to tell me how big her new boyfriends tool is, and how amazing the sex is. Then she acted suprised that I got pissed off. Well, I'm officially never talking to her again, and I got mad enough I learned how to play "Steppin' Stone" (Minor Threat version) on the guitar in about 12 seconds flat.
So at least those are like two good things.


The next song you should learn is "Never Talking To You Again" by Husker Du.  Sing it to yourself as a reminder whenever you feel like talking to an ex-girlfriend.
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Limmo

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« Reply #102 on: June 02, 2004, 04:01:24 pm »
Quote from: "Pedro Picasso"
Yeah, no problem.  I'm fine.  Really.



It actually looks good on you!
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Bozack

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« Reply #103 on: June 02, 2004, 06:09:57 pm »
Quote from: "Limmo"
The next song you should learn is "Never Talking To You Again" by Husker Du.  Sing it to yourself as a reminder whenever you feel like talking to an ex-girlfriend.

Oooh, yes, this is delightful! I shall have to put this on my "I Hate You" mixdisc, along with "Steppin' Stone" and "Salome," by the Old 97's.
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V-Adore

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« Reply #104 on: June 02, 2004, 07:29:33 pm »
Quote from: "Bozack"
Quote from: "Limmo"
The next song you should learn is "Never Talking To You Again" by Husker Du.  Sing it to yourself as a reminder whenever you feel like talking to an ex-girlfriend.

Oooh, yes, this is delightful! I shall have to put this on my "I Hate You" mixdisc, along with "Steppin' Stone" and "Salome," by the Old 97's.

While I normally hold reservations about Revenge Mixdiscs*, this seems like a totally justifiable one to me. It sounds at least as justifiable as the other two I've given a pass to, "Fuck You, My Entire Dorm" (by a friend of mine in the worst dorm ever) and "Fuck You, Venal Suitemate, Have Some Goddamn Van der Graaf Generator" (by me).

Holy crap, is that an unclassy ex. World-non-class, as it were. I've been on the other side of this a few times ("thank you for not being as gigantic a psycho hose beast as my last ex"**), but I cannot possibly imagine a context by which raving about the size of her new guy's tool would be even vaguely appropriate. Yech.

* They tend to get dicey when you actually intend to send a copy to the ex, for instance. Improper.

** Although I am not sure I could be as much of a psycho host beast as this particular ex even if I tried.
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