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@achewood Today's sad thing: A reeking tweaker couple looking in the gas station freezer for "that pizza that was good in the microwave last time."

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Author Topic: Bad Puns  (Read 5696 times)

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pmcd9

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Bad Puns
« on: August 05, 2003, 03:26:32 am »
I've figured this board out.  The surest way to get a thread locked is to make a bad pun.

I knew an Aggie (that's Texan for Pollock btw in the joke realm) who thought Mini Pearl was a short beer.  He had a Japanese cousin that on Dec. 7, 1941 attacked Pearl Baily.

Just a test.

~Paul
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jay-ell

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Bad Puns
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2003, 03:31:46 am »
Hey, don't look at me.  I can dish 'em with the best.  It's Jough whose sensibilities seem to be offended.  

This reminds me of a guy who loved puns -- just loved them -- but they made all his friends groan and roll their eyes.  So he searched the Internet for hours to find the ten best puns ever and compiled them into a list.  He e-mailed these puns to his friends in the hopes that one, just one, of the ten would make them laugh.  

But unfortunately, (are you ready?)

No pun in ten did.
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"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

pmcd9

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Bad Puns
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2003, 03:54:28 am »
Of course this thread is now gonna suffer from the Hindenberg effect or something.  Because we are literally trying to get this thread locked it never will.  Maybe that's the Achewood effect.

~Paul
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pmcd9

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Bad Puns
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2003, 03:56:44 am »
How about Limericks?

My 85 year old Aunt told me a limerick last week that made me blush.

On the breast of a lady named Gail
Was tattood the price of her tail
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information in braile

What a marvelous ditty.

~Paul
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jough

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Bad Puns
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2003, 04:14:05 am »
Daddy's home...

Takes off his belt...

HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU KIDS NOT TO MAKE PUNS IN THE FORUMS!!!???

The next one to do it gets their IP blocked with no dessert.  I mean it.
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AugustWest

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Not Really a Pun
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2003, 05:00:17 am »
What did the giraffe say when it swam into a concrete wall?



DAM!!!



i'm so ashamed.
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V-Adore

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Bad Puns
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2003, 05:09:48 am »
(Disclaimer: I'm writing this post in full, tremulous-heart, trembling-before-G-d mode. Please don't hurt me, Daddy Jough, but... I like bad puns and I cannot lie.)

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage one day, only to find that his name had been erased from his village's records. When his wife went to the village record-keeper to complain, the abased record-keeper had only one reply...

"I'm sorry. I must have taken Leif off my census."

(... I apologize one thousand times. Please don't hit.)
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AugustWest

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Bad Puns
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2003, 05:14:43 am »
Ah, V, that is bee-you-tee-full.  A new pun I've never used.  

Something to spring on the coworkers tomorrow!  Many thanks!
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V-Adore

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Bad Puns
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2003, 05:16:27 am »
Quote from: "AugustWest"
Ah, V, that is bee-you-tee-full.  A new pun I've never used.  

Something to spring on the coworkers tomorrow!  Many thanks!

You're welcome. I'm glad to pass the sweet memetic poison that is a truly awful pun along.

(I'll probably be swiping some stuff from this thread, too. There's some class-A stuff here.)
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jough

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Bad Puns
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2003, 07:08:33 am »
What did I tell you kids?

You're outtahere.
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jay-ell

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Bad Puns
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2003, 02:54:47 pm »
Click, click, as fast as you will,
You'll never ban me, I'm an admin still :)  

Come on, let us have our fun.  It's a victimless crime.
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jay-ell

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Bad Puns
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2003, 03:28:33 pm »
At this point, nobody is banned.  But, out of respect for the man who so generously offered us his webspace, let's refrain from the bad puns in the future, OK?  And repeat offenders will be fined -- mandatory donations to the tip jar.  Sorry to do this -- but it's just the way it has to be.  

This hurts me more than it hurts you.
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"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson
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