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[pmcd9]

I once again had to explain to my grandmother that yes I had to work on Friday because it's not a real holiday and any company that actually closed would get sued so fast the building might actually spin around.

They would rather work?  I was off, nobody got sued.

~Paul

[arkabee]

I once again had to explain to my grandmother that yes I had to work on Friday because it's not a real holiday and any company that actually closed would get sued so fast the building might actually spin around.

They would rather work?  I was off, nobody got sued.

~Paul

me too.

of course, what are they going to say?

"hey, you closed for a religious holiday!!"
"which holiday?"
"why, Good Friday, of course!"
"hmmm, of course it was a good Friday, i was off work!"

[Ben-San]

We even have to have a "winter break" because a couple Jehovah's Witnesses complained a couple years ago.

That term is a little more common, as far as I know. Public schools usually get them, governmental offices occasionally get them (shorter than the schools do) and you get so much high-profile newspaper flamewar if they call it "Christmas break" that private institutions and businesses get sucked along in their wake.
Unless you're talking about something else, in which case I'm talking through my hat.

[CortJstr]

We even have to have a "winter break" because a couple Jehovah's Witnesses complained a couple years ago.

That term is a little more common, as far as I know. Public schools usually get them, governmental offices occasionally get them (shorter than the schools do) and you get so much high-profile newspaper flamewar if they call it "Christmas break" that private institutions and businesses get sucked along in their wake.
Unless you're talking about something else, in which case I'm talking through my hat.

That's exactly what I meant. We aren't even allowed to have a Halloween costume contest any more because of this crap. I think people at my office just like to bitch.

[andalucia]

Yeah, even at my rural Ontario high school we get Secular Winter Break.  

Although I did have to be switched out of my grade 1 class because the teacher was telling us Jeebus-stories.  Apparently PC is a relatively recent arrival to the area.

[AlohaDawg]

I once again had to explain to my grandmother that yes I had to work on Friday because it's not a real holiday and any company that actually closed would get sued so fast the building might actually spin around.

Businesses can close at any time for any reason.  Why would your company get sued for closing on Friday?

Seriously...the STATE of HAWAII was closed for Good Friday! I remember the City of Chicago would close as well. You'd think if ANYONE was gonna get sued....

[AugustWest]

State of Kentucky takes half a day on Good Friday.  Of course, I ended up working the whole day anyhow.

[Bozack]

State of Kentucky takes half a day on Good Friday.  

Which is why, apparently, the restaurant where I work was fine up until noon, at which point hundreds of suits descended upon us, darkening the skies like passenger pigeons.
Easter was completely ridiculous. From the get-go, almost every table in the restaurant was reserved days before from 8:30 to 3:00. Which didn't stop an insane flood of walk-ins, nor a group of people calling at 9 to make reservations for 10, on EASTER, DAMN IT.
To those people, I could hardly keep from asking if perhaps their mobility was hindered by the massive balls they must have had swinging by their knees.

[AugustWest]

State of Kentucky takes half a day on Good Friday.  

Which is why, apparently, the restaurant where I work was fine up until noon, at which point hundreds of suits descended upon us, darkening the skies like passenger pigeons.
Easter was completely ridiculous. From the get-go, almost every table in the restaurant was reserved days before from 8:30 to 3:00. Which didn't stop an insane flood of walk-ins, nor a group of people calling at 9 to make reservations for 10, on EASTER, DAMN IT.
To those people, I could hardly keep from asking if perhaps their mobility was hindered by the massive balls they must have had swinging by their knees.

You should probably explain that there's at least a 45 minute wait for a table every Sunday.  And probably every Saturday, too.  I didn't know you could make reservations.

[CortJstr]

You should probably explain that there's at least a 45 minute wait for a table every Sunday.  And probably every Saturday, too.  I didn't know you could make reservations.

45 minutes? God, I would kill to find a decent restaurant that only had a 45-minute wait on Saturdays.

Though I did notice the sushi place I went to Sunday was only half-full. And they had plenty of lobster sushi for once. Mmm.

[V-Adore]

Although I did have to be switched out of my grade 1 class because the teacher was telling us Jeebus-stories.  Apparently PC is a relatively recent arrival to the area.

This reminds me of the time in ninth-grade geometry, right before Christmas, when my teacher passed out a Biblical-events survey. It was basically "in which book of the Bible did these major events occur?", and it was allegedly for her family's regular edition of, uh, Bible Family Feud? (I think.)

Anyway, I at least filled most of the blanks in randomly or with an eye on humor. Every time I got stuck? "Song of Solomon."

[Carlos del Vaca]

Revelations all the way.  Drug-addled end-of-the-world scenarios rule!  Or at least they did before those fuck*ng "Left Behind" books made people think it's literal truth.

Remember, folks:  Believing Allah will reward you with 70 dark-eyed virgins if you kill yourself while killing your enemies--that's CRAZY TALK.  But believing that the chosen will all spontaneously vanish one day, and that Jesus will return and spontaneously disembowel his enemies in a climactic battle in the desert--that shit is REAL!  And you're going to HELL if you don't agree!

[CortJstr]

Revelations all the way.  Drug-addled end-of-the-world scenarios rule!  Or at least they did before those fuck*ng "Left Behind" books made people think it's literal truth.

Revelation. Singular. </anal retentive dick>

I do agree it's weird though. Few think the "6 days" of creation were 6 actual 24-hour periods but apparently the rest of the book is all exact, literal, and perfect.

[Ben-San]

I'm reminded of the time that I was in a necessary e-mail correspondence with a fellow belonging to one of the weirder Christian sects. I felt the need to tell him after a while that I was Jewish and did not in fact believe in all the same things he did, at which point he told me "That's fine, I like Hebrews! You are the Chosen People and God will destroy the Russian and UN planes that come to bomb Israel in the end times with His holy light."

Later he angrily cut off the correspondence telling me that I was a messenger of the Devil who had attempted to seduce his younger brother into sin, which leads me to assume that the younger brother is a damned liar who has figured out the keywords to get his sibling to do whatever he likes.

[andalucia]

Ah yes, my friend and I had a phase where we'd get very very stoned and read Revelations while eating lots and lots of crackers.  

So Saltines are forever linked in my mind with visions of firey damnation, and vice versa.  I've got no problem with the Bible when I take it as merely a good read, which it indisputably is.