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I get so lonely up here. You never write, you never call.

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Author Topic: Variety Hour for Aug 7th  (Read 20590 times)

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PinkStainlessTail

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« on: August 07, 2003, 01:04:25 pm »
My mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, be pointedly silent".

...

UPDATE: The sex thing that got added had a couple good things, like the Will Smith one.
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"Plush. Rabid. Festering. Pulchritude. Eschew!"

"That may be the worst cheer ever."
-The University of Universal Understanding, S. Aldred

MSC

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2003, 01:40:45 pm »
I actually liked the song.
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Pedro Picasso

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Re: Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2003, 02:10:58 pm »
Quote from: "PinkStainlessTail"
My mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, be pointedly silent".

...


     One time when I was in fifth grade, Mrs. Royster said something, and I told her she was wrong, and she didn't believe me.  It later turned out that I was right.  Being the wonderful magnanimous child I was, I said, "I won't say 'I told you so'."

     Mrs. Royster then said, "You just did."

     I learned a valuable lesson that day.  I had forgotten it, until your message.  Thank you.

At least it's a whipping zoo and not a NoFX-style heavy petting zoo.
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rstevens

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2003, 02:51:53 pm »
i have issued an email to all dumbrella cartoonists expressing my condolences at the loss of achewood, due to his poor selection of a whiny-voiced generic-ass theme song.

it is a sad day on the inter-net.

one of my 5 favorite strips no longer exists.
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slink

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2003, 03:53:02 pm »
Hmmmm. Yeeeeeeessss.


Ok so the Will Smith line made me laugh. Apart from that... Goddamnit! Hurry up and find your footing... or quit...
And wtf!? Wednesday's strip better be good!
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FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

jough

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2003, 04:26:50 pm »
Now I think it's lame on purpose (the song was pretty funny, though).

I'll posit that Onstad knows what funny is.  And that the other Chris in the second part of this week's installment doesn't actually exist.  And that Onstad knows how to write comedy in prose form (vis-a-vis Ray's Place) and make it funny. And that for two weeks in a row the Variety hour has been hella lame.

Given the above, the only conclusion is that Onstad is trying to make it lame on purpose.

If this is some bold new experiment to see how long he can serve up decidely lame prose, what's the point?  Ha ha, I got you to read lame stuff?

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.
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The Wonderous Me

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Is he digressing?
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2003, 04:28:40 pm »
Next week I hope Onstad doesn't restort to using "your mom is so fat" 10year old in the playground jokes.   Sheesh, I've heard better ones from the local top 40 dj's on the crappy pop radio station here.

Well the Benny Hill reference did bring a smile to my face, but hell, it'd have been funnier if he'd have had Ray and Roast Beef talking about them in a strip.
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keef

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2003, 04:30:19 pm »
Quote from: "jough"
Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.


is that how it goes?  I thought it went:

We have an old saying in Texas: Fool me once, shame... shame on you. Fool me twice... fool me ... well, you're not gonna fool me again.

Oh no, wait.  That's how the president says it.
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rstevens

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2003, 04:35:47 pm »
damn, don't write in and tell him how you feel about the song or you're gonna have to fuck off.
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jay-ell

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2003, 04:37:53 pm »
I think "The other Chris" really is another chris.  The Whipping Zoo wasn't really Onstad's style.  I haven't listened to the .mp3 yet (no speakers at work) but I thought the visual euphamisms bit was pretty OK.  Not great, just OK.  And it was definitely Onstad's voice.  Even when he's speaking through Ray or Beef or Lyle, Onstad had a distinctive style about him.  

This other guy's a little on the Brunching side of the humor spectrum.  (Dave Nielson Brunching, not Lore Brunching.)
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"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

PinkStainlessTail

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2003, 04:43:38 pm »
Quote from: "jough"

I'll posit that Onstad knows what funny is.  And that the other Chris in the second part of this week's installment doesn't actually exist.


Evidence of Onstad and the other Chris coexisting.
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"Plush. Rabid. Festering. Pulchritude. Eschew!"

"That may be the worst cheer ever."
-The University of Universal Understanding, S. Aldred

jough

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2003, 04:43:50 pm »
Maybe he wrote the song.  Maybe that's Onstad singing, and you hurt his feelings, rstevens?

Anyway, may I re-iterate how lame the Variety Hour was this week?

I've thought of IMing him and asking if he knew it was lame, or if we needed to do some kind of intervention or something, but I figure I'll leave the li'l guy alone until he's posted Wednesday's strip.

I'd hate to disturb him from his busy schedule of eating cheese curls and drinking.
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jough

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2003, 04:45:59 pm »
Quote from: "PinkStainlessTail"
Evidence of Onstad and the other Chris coexisting.


Oh, so the other Chris is one of Onstad's old lame friends from Stanford?

I wonder if the "fit fifteen" are any of the others from "back in the day."
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CortJstr

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2003, 04:51:48 pm »
Quote from: "jldunston"
This other guy's a little on the Brunching side of the humor spectrum.  (Dave Nielson Brunching, not Lore Brunching.)


I totally agree. It also reminded me a bit of DVD Special Features Nobody Wants

And I swear he's been changing this thing today. I really don't remember the sex part being there this morning, or the Ron Jeremy line being there the first time I looked. I'm going crazy!

[Edit: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die! — Klingon Proverb]
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revdj

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Variety Hour for Aug 7th
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2003, 04:59:51 pm »
How can you not like the song?  It is completely appropriate for the theme song to the internet-advice column of a cartoon cat.  It's silly.  

And this is my version of the "fool me once..." aphorism, that I created at a poker game:

"Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  Fool me three times.... Fuck you!  Stop fooling me!"
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