The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: misterqueue on December 23, 2005, 11:31:22 am
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Meh (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12232005)
Ray's punchline is nice, and although some of these foods sound absolutely horrible I get tired of reading one after another I suppose.
The alt text however is pretty funny, only because those were some of my friends in high school and it stings like alcohol on a cut just a little. WHeeee.
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Every time Pat uses the word "bestitutes," I want to hit him.
More than usual, I mean.
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ahahahwhahah chompsky :)
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side_show side_story in regard to health food grossness.
A few of my friends worked at the local VitaHealth selling cleansing kits that involved bowel flushing, all sorts of smelly powers, and ground up things. The health food store, at its peak, was very popular before regular stores started stocking vegetarian foods. So it started out as a place where all us vegetarians could go for a quick snack, and eventually some of my theatre buddies ended up working there. The store had a computer system that kept track of those with memberships - if you signed up for a membership you got a news letter and a little card the got you a discount off purchases. So this group of the sort of hippies that Pat comes from - you know, the people who use healthy living as an excuse to be scary controle freaks who want to know exactly what kind of pollen the bees were collecting to make the honey that they are buying? Yeah the group was this collective of women who were these sorts of people and they called themselves "The Friends of the Earth." Imagine a dozen women just like Pat, and imagine having to provide them with customer service for three hours only for them to leave the store with a small bag of the same wheatgerm they bought every week. The staff got pretty sick of all the nitpicking from members of "The Friends of the Earth" -and this is a health food store where the staff gets way more specific demands than most stores do, so you can imagine just how bad this group was. Eventually, the staff started calling this group "The Freaks of the Earth," as in, "Oh, no, here comes one of The Freaks of the Earth." The staff had a good chuckle about it, and then one day one of my friends actually changed the group's name in the store's internal computer system so that whenever anyone scanned one of these womens' member ship cards the name "Freaks of the Earth" came up on the screen for only other staff to see. Another chuckle for the staff. Then someone not in on the joke changed the system so that customers' with memberships got a personalized message on their receipt. The next time a member of "The Friends of the Earth" came in, their receipt printed up "Thank you Freaks of the Earth, we appreciate your business!" Awesome? Yes. It turned out that "The Friends of the Earth" boycotted the store in outrage and even wrote some deeply entertaining complaint letters in which the term "hate crime" was used.
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One colon loofah, please.
I thought this was the funniest thing in the strip today.
side_show side_story in regard to health food grossness.
Isn't it funny how easy it is to get accused of hate crime? Also, how people can get the idea in their head that they are an oppressed minority when, in reality, they are just a group of purposeful non-conformists?
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I get the feeling that Onstad just really, really likes making up fake names for "best-stitutes." I mean, honestly, four solid panels? Even when the names are hilarious (which they occasionally are), man, that's a lot.
On the other hand, "forget what you know about craveless nori!" is a phrase so good I want to shout it out of context at people. Also, is there any possible worst concept for someone on an avoiding-diabetes diet than a cod substitute made out of marzipan?
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Definitely adds to the carbs over eating plain old cod.
The whole concept of craveless nori just went over my head. We buy nori sheets here to snack on, but I've never had a craving issue.
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ahahahwhahah chompsky :)
Ok, I know we've had our issues in the past. It hasn't always been blue skies and raddiccio tape between us.
I have to intercede now. Dig deeper, man, dig! I'm hugging you to let you know it's ok!
I liked this strip but would have been fine without the last panel. Side_show's side_story steals the day.
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One colon loofah, please.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/89ecolonblow.phtml
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The whole concept of craveless nori just went over my head. We buy nori sheets here to snack on, but I've never had a craving issue.
Truth be told, I'm not even sure what craveless nori is, let alone how raddiccio tape would affect it. I've always been more into nori-free sushi options, myself.*
* And by "nori-free sushi options," I mean "lots and lots of vinegared rice." I'm sort of a wuss with most sushi, but man, vinegared rice is the best.
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I once watched Ani smoke a bowl at a Yo La Tengo concert.
What is nori, SUBQUESTION what is craveless nori? Nori that you don't want to eat.
The most comical thing, in my opinion, was the alt-text, followed by the bestitute names. A far third goes to the punchline.
BODY HAIR JUST ISN'T FUNNY OKAY.
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What is nori, SUBQUESTION what is craveless nori? Nori that you don't want to eat.
Nori is that seaweed paper you see sushi rolls wrapped in. It's got sort of a slight, salty flavor and is exceptionally green.
Craveless nori... well, you got me. Wombat/AD/other Asian-food-hounds?
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We can buy these little packages with 50 little band-aid sized sheets of nori to snack on but unless there is a sense of the word 'craveless' I don't know, it's all just so much 'radicchio tape' to me.
I think Ray should be offended at a pinsized glory hole. I would be, except I've never utilized one. And never will.
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I find that I don't care what the thread title is for this one. I think this means I don't like it much.
But now I want band-aid sized sheets of nori, and I'm not sure I even particuarly like nori, except that you need something to keep sushi rolls from falling apart.
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Nori?
Wasn't he one of Thorin Oakenshield's company? Ori, Nori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Fili, Kili and that lot?
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Nori?
Wasn't he one of Thorin Oakenshield's company? Ori, Nori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Fili, Kili and that lot?
You forgot Doc. Everyone always forgets Doc.
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I know of people like Pat, or at least are share the same holier-than-thou veganism and such. There was a little alternative vegan co-op grocery type deal once I went into a few times because they had a few items not stocked by the local bigger health food stores of the HealthFoodCoCorp type and I was in a alt-diet phase then. It was run by a cheerful but clueless lady who dressed in long drindal skirts and wore lots of "authentic" Native American jewelry, and her staff consisted of surly nose-ringed [local crappy alt-scene band] T-shirt sporting types and stuffy, prissy Pat types. The sort of people who practically have strokes if a customer mispronounces a tounge-twisting product name by one lousy vowel and feel the need to vehmently correct them.
The whole thing reminded me of comic shops or indie bookstores run by people who are really into comics or books but have little business sense. And like "we'll get by because we may not be SUITS with NO SOULS but we are pure of heart" bookstores and comic shops and little niche record shops I have known, in between the poor organization, the constant bickering and bad, money draining business choices on the part of the owners, the thing fell through in less than a year.
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But now I want band-aid sized sheets of nori (...)
...Which leads to the image of band-aids actually *made of nori*. There might be a market niche for that, you know.
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Every time Pat uses the word "bestitutes," I want to hit him.
More than usual, I mean.
Yeah, who does Pat think he is, Forest J Ackerman?
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Nori is that seaweed paper you see sushi rolls wrapped in. It's got sort of a slight, salty flavor and is exceptionally green.
Craveless nori... well, you got me. Wombat/AD/other Asian-food-hounds?
Isn't nori actually algea?
Thank you, Alton!
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Isn't nori actually algea?
Thank you, Alton!
With regard to seaweed, the dividing line between "individual organism with various organs" and "colony of microscopic creatures, some specializing in different function" is a little blurred, not unlike that of the Man-O-War Jellygiraffe.
In other "beststitute" stories, a terrifying (http://www.motherearthnews.com/library/1977_September_October/Make_Your_Own_Coffee_Substitutes) article from 1977 on how to make coffee substitutes using wheat, parsnips ("Parsnip Postum"!) and the like.
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This is what I think of (http://www2.active.ch/gerstei/main.en.html) when I heard the word Nori.
WARNING!!! Snot related link!
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The hidden punctuation joke is that the gum is an entry of its own without a funny name. That, or its name is "Ape Grapes," with the comma being part of its name. I think it is just plain gum.
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This is what I think of (http://www2.active.ch/gerstei/main.en.html) when I heard the word Nori.
WAAAH! Oh, yucky yucky yucky.
No fair, how was I supposed to know this was a DO NOT CLICK situation?
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This is what I think of (http://www2.active.ch/gerstei/main.en.html) when I heard the word Nori.
I haven't seen any second-hand nori's on e-bay yet. I'll keep watching.
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WARNING!!! Snot related link!
(http://www2.active.ch/gerstei/images/woman_lg.gif)
~Paul
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Ooooo Paul it is a good thing I am not the kind of person who takes away someone's Dr Pepper, especially right after Baby Jesus's birthday.
But thank you for trying, AW. Really it's not the snot so much as... ooh, I guess I didn't want breakfast this morning anyway.
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Ris-Oat-Oh! The instant risotto beststitute that uses whole grain oat flour to allow organically grown, Cruelty-Free long grain rice to achieve the same level of creaminess as wetlands-destroying Arborio rice, in less time.
Dissi-Dent! The "revolutionary" new oral hygiene system. Used corncob fibers are used instead of synthetic bristles. A portion of all proceeds goes to fund freedom initiatives in China.
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Oh come on - it's not THAT bad. It's just water coming out the noses. And along with washing away the detritus that could turn INTO snot, it is also washing away... their sins. The best part is that the English page shows a woman and a (presumably) teenage boy, while the German site shows a man and a young girl. All are wearing purple. It's the happy Nori family!
Except for the boy, who kinda has a "I can't believe I have to put a picture of myself using Dad's stupid nose thing on the INTERNET" look on his face.
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Nori?
Wasn't he one of Thorin Oakenshield's company? Ori, Nori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Fili, Kili and that lot?
Nori is memorable because he was the Japanese one.
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Nori is memorable because he was the Japanese one.
I remember that dude! He had the katana and the pincers of power!
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This is what I think of (http://www2.active.ch/gerstei/main.en.html) when I heard the word Nori.
WARNING!!! Snot related link!
I get irritated about bullshit products that are marketed with the suggestion that we are supposed to clean or purge parts of our body which have not evolved or been designed with any need for cleaning. Now, if you'll pardon me I have my midnight/mood lighting colon hydrotherapy session to attend.
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I suggest a little aromatherapy with that.
Edited to point out that there <was> a post about colonics there whose deletion makes this post pretty irrelevant.
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Aromatherapy would be useless if you couldn't smell anything - thankfully the Nori exists.
I've thought about buying one just to try it out - I get stuffy noses pretty regularly.
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I can't remember a time when my nose hasn't been stuffy, unless I've squirted some Afrin or something up it. That, and the sores on my tongue caused by walnuts, lemons, oranges, tomatoes, red wine, etc., are the two minor medical problems that have always been and probably always will be with me.