The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Lane on February 21, 2007, 02:12:48 am

Title: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Lane on February 21, 2007, 02:12:48 am
http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02212007

Something about the fat titties on a cartoon cat disturbs me.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Victoria Waterfield on February 21, 2007, 02:24:44 am
I am glad to see that I was not the only one to be somewhat disturbed.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 02:39:00 am
Oh my.

I DEFINITELY need an excuse to scream "this is a homeboy!" in public somewheres.

I need to somehow make it my catchphrase in the sitcom that is life.

Also: the last panel? Beef putting his arm around Ray as if to say "It's okay"? Nice touch.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: CortJstr on February 21, 2007, 02:43:10 am
Were I in Ray's place then neither of these ladies would be my first choice. I guess that I am not in favor of fat asses or fat titties.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Arachno-capitalist on February 21, 2007, 02:53:13 am
Oh my God people are you serious? The dude finally shows us some T & A and you act like he showed you some roadklill sandwich hitting a nun.... ::sigh::
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 02:56:57 am
Well... my two "types" in terms of my taste in women are generally either tall-and-strong Amazonian-type ladies or slightly-zaftig geek-goddess types but... hm... given Ray's two choices, I gotta go with rude titties.

I guess because... I mean, everybody's got an ass. I've got an ass.

But truely rude titties, man, it's like opening a pack of Marvel Universe Series 1 cards and finding a Silver Surfer hologram on top. Rarity is the secret soul of beauty.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: CortJstr on February 21, 2007, 03:02:12 am
Oh my God people are you serious? The dude finally shows us some T & A and you act like he showed you some roadklill sandwich hitting a nun.... ::sigh::


T, but no A (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07272005)
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Doc on February 21, 2007, 03:12:33 am
I think I'd prefer roadkill hitting a nun.
Ray and Beef hit some skanky dives.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: theinevitable on February 21, 2007, 03:57:54 am
man. Is it a size thing? Is that what Rude is? I don't go for them so rude, myself.

The butt can/should be hella rude, though. Good lord, so rude.

But normally I go for the girls who are basically shaped like a small... stick of wood. Such as I am.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: MattFish on February 21, 2007, 04:03:23 am
T, but no A (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07272005)

the nippleage is what is new and exciting (in however many uses of the word depending on your preferences)

I'm also more into the thin rail kind of girls, this stuff doesn't really do it for me. But I do truly appreciate well-formed breasts. JUST NOT ON CARTOON CATS
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: linnea on February 21, 2007, 04:06:49 am
Man, that is hella creepy. Well, I think that's a first for Achewood, not counting the "crummy-boobed" junkie at the transfer station and Teodor's "fun little tits" when they were doing Roomba Theatre presents Pump Up The Volume.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: CortJstr on February 21, 2007, 04:10:20 am
the nippleage is what is new and exciting (in however many uses of the word depending on your preferences)

I'm also more into the thin rail kind of girls, this stuff doesn't really do it for me. But I do truly appreciate well-formed breasts. JUST NOT ON CARTOON CATS

What about on furries (http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1687)?

And can we all agree that real breasts, regardless of well-formedness are better than gravity-defying fake ones that couldn't hold a dick if they attempted to do so with clamps? I'm looking at you, basically every woman in professional wrestling.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Sub_Topical on February 21, 2007, 04:15:31 am
Goddam it, there's a perfect d-brella days over sharing picture to put right fuck*ng here.

Both of them there kitty pronners are extremes TO THE MAXX
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 04:26:25 am
Quote from: CortJstr
I'm looking at you, basically every woman in professional wrestling.

Stephanie MacMahon was MUCH more attractive back when her maguffies were as God made them.

Also, she talked less and sounded less like the Joker's moll Harley Quinn eating gravel.

Still, I must say... though, yes, the entire idea of anthropomorphic-cat female anatomy is gross and weird... every once in a while, the right kind of trashy-looking lady thrills me. Not every day, not most days, but there's something to be said for trashiness when you're in a certain mood.

There's that odd sort of... honest and earthiness about a trashy-looking lady.

Sort of like when you go into a mall you've never been in before and... it's an old mall, you know? The floors are discoloured, the food court is full of chain restaurants you thought no longer existed and... you can tell that the Dollar Store used to be a Bradlees but...

It's honest, you know? You think to yourself "now this is a mall as I remember it from my childhood".

Perhaps it's the directness of trashiness. "I am not worried about being pretty to other women or stylish or trying to prove I have money, I am specifically trying to make men I do not know horny for me." No foolin' around, you know?

She does not have cameltoe because her clothes are ill-fitting, she is showing you that she has a pu$$y.

Most of the time, it is too forward and crass for me, too.

But... I can understand. Some part of me identifies with Ray and Beef going for the dive-bar girls.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Doc on February 21, 2007, 05:42:30 am
Perhaps it's the directness of trashiness. "I am not worried about being pretty to other women or stylish or trying to prove I have money, I am specifically trying to make men I do not know horny for me." No foolin' around, you know?

But a lot of the time the trashy ladies are trashy because they are obviously trying to trick us into thinking they are otherwise with their knock off handbags and giant fuck*ng glass rock rings and clothes that might have been attractive on them 20 years and/or kilos ago. I'm all for down to earth but I like the ladies who dress like sensible fuck*ng human beings.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Arachno-capitalist on February 21, 2007, 06:27:41 am
Negative cans again? For digging tits?
Sorry?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: V-Adore on February 21, 2007, 06:34:19 am
You know, it's the ass that bothers me. There's rude, there's ruuuuude, and then there's just plain uncouth. That ass, I dare say, crosses the line.

Of course, the question has to be asked: whither the cake fetish?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 06:42:49 am
Quote from: V-Adore
There's rude, there's ruuuuude, and then there's just plain uncouth.

"Young lady, I am sorry, but your ass is disrespectful."

All I'm saying is... a really beautiful chest is, like, life-affirming. You can see one that's so good that you're just happy to be alive. Like you just wanna tell people about it. Hand out magazines about it on Saturday mornings. So good that you feel sorry for gay fellows and straight ladies who cannot appreciate it fully.

A really beautiful chest can be such as someone reacts to a great smelling soap in a commerical.

Asses can be sexy or rude or full-on disrespectful... but they can't give you an Irish Spring moment of clarity.

And by "you" I of course mean "me".
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: coldfrog on February 21, 2007, 09:31:53 am
Of course, the question has to be asked: whither the cake fetish?

Due to Ray's extreme turn-around, he will now subscribe to 'frosting-dippers', a website dedicated to women who gently place their breasts, nipple first, into creamy German-style chocolate cakes and other expensive and professionally decorated pastries (provided by "c a k e s ;").

It should be noted that this site, while a very small niche market, rides off the traffic it gets from those who are mislead by the title and investigate out of pure curiosity.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: mrchee on February 21, 2007, 09:51:56 am
After much deliberation, Achewood has come out in opposition to bras.

WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE.  FIRST ITS ROCK HARD CAT COCK.

NOW IT IS RUDE KITTY TITTIES
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Bimmicus on February 21, 2007, 12:10:59 pm
"After much deliberation, Achewood has come out as the furry fap strip it always knew it was deep down inside."

Well, perhaps not. But the sight of pendulous cat teats did send a cold chill up my spine.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: wombat on February 21, 2007, 12:18:58 pm

All I'm saying is... a really beautiful chest is, like, life-affirming. You can see one that's so good that you're just happy to be alive. Like you just wanna tell people about it. Hand out magazines about it on Saturday mornings. So good that you feel sorry for gay fellows and straight ladies who cannot appreciate it fully.

LFM, next time someone stares rudely at my bosom I will try not to get angry but rather imagine that they are being inspired to poetry.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: AugustWest on February 21, 2007, 01:50:58 pm
Heh heh.  She said "bosom".
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: nDed on February 21, 2007, 02:12:20 pm
I am going to personally attribute the trashy looking women to Onstad's inexperience with drawing the female form and his spending too much time on MySpace.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: side_show on February 21, 2007, 02:26:12 pm
I was so disturbed - not by the titties or ass, but how the ladies are basically human-noid with cat ears.  There was a comic book like this.  I don't remember what it was called.  But there was a bunch of humanoid looking animals that had sex all the time.  It was awful.

Also re: rude titties - I totally have rude titties.  I have to be very careful, because they are the equivalent of telling someone their momma's so fat.  My titties will straight up tell you they think the dinner you cooked was awful, then spit in your face.  My titties do not leave a tip no matter how excellent the service.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Turbo Ninja on February 21, 2007, 02:45:50 pm
"After much deliberation, Achewood has come out as the furry fap strip it always knew it was deep down inside."

Well, perhaps not. But the sight of pendulous cat teats did send a cold chill up my spine.

The sight of the teats was discomforting, but I was more bothered by the resultant overwhelming fear that These Belov'd Fora would immediately be overrun by furries.

All posting Beef/Showbiz slash fic, all sketching Molly as a fox or a skunk because it's not good enough for her to just be a cat, all writing in character as another resident of the Achewood Undergroud...
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: MrCB on February 21, 2007, 03:26:15 pm
All I can think about is how Onstad is going to explain to his Grandkids why Grampa used to draw Rude Cat Titties...

"Come here kid and sit on on my knee, I'm gonna tell you all about disrespectful ass and plain up rude titties"
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: CortJstr on February 21, 2007, 03:47:24 pm
Also re: rude titties - I totally have rude titties.  I have to be very careful, because they are the equivalent of telling someone their momma's so fat.  My titties will straight up tell you they think the dinner you cooked was awful, then spit in your face.  My titties do not leave a tip no matter how excellent the service.

Baby, rude titties are the tip.

"Young lady, I am sorry, but your ass is disrespectful."

All I'm saying is... a really beautiful chest is, like, life-affirming. You can see one that's so good that you're just happy to be alive. Like you just wanna tell people about it. Hand out magazines about it on Saturday mornings. So good that you feel sorry for gay fellows and straight ladies who cannot appreciate it fully.

A really beautiful chest can be such as someone reacts to a great smelling soap in a commerical.

Asses can be sexy or rude or full-on disrespectful... but they can't give you an Irish Spring moment of clarity.

And by "you" I of course mean "me".

When I was in school one of my friends was 1st runner up to Miss Virginia. Her friends called her Boobs because she was like 5'5" and they were 80% of her body mass. And also because she asked us to. Anyway, one day after she walks away my coworker looks at me and says, "I know I'm gay and everything, but sometimes I just want to rub my face in them." Because even really, really gay guys can appreciate great breasts.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Undertoad on February 21, 2007, 04:48:41 pm
Quote
NOW IT IS RUDE KITTY TITTIES

Whoa wha wait a minute - if it's really kitty titties, shouldn't there be like 10 of 'em?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Bimmicus on February 21, 2007, 04:56:11 pm
The prospect of a forum invasion by a slavering horde of catfuckers was partially responsible for that chill, I'm sure. That is the sort of situation — like juggling babies filled with nitroglycerine — from which nothing good can come at all.

I think the greater cause of my discomfort, though, was doing the usual eyes-up thing upon seeing the sort of ripely endowed yet slightly trashy female figure of which I am so deeply fond, only to find it topped off with the scrotum-like visage of felis onstadus. That's some nightmare fuel RIGHT there.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 05:06:36 pm
Quote from: wombat
LFM, next time someone stares rudely at my bosom I will try not to get angry but rather imagine that they are being inspired to poetry.

a hiaku:

look at those titties
tart apples in morning dew
life is not so bad
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: theinevitable on February 21, 2007, 05:26:04 pm
man. I knew a girl like that. They were as big as her head.

Also: re: "everyone has a butt."
That is like saying everyone has breasts. I have breasts... but they aren't BREASTS.
you know?
I have seen at least one butt in my life that affirmed that life is good.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: rabidambulance on February 21, 2007, 05:39:01 pm
All I'm saying is... a really beautiful chest is, like, life-affirming. You can see one that's so good that you're just happy to be alive. Like you just wanna tell people about it. Hand out magazines about it on Saturday mornings. So good that you feel sorry for gay fellows and straight ladies who cannot appreciate it fully.

A really beautiful chest can be such as someone reacts to a great smelling soap in a commerical.

Asses can be sexy or rude or full-on disrespectful... but they can't give you an Irish Spring moment of clarity.

And by "you" I of course mean "me".

You lie.  There are asses for which I would commit unpardonable sins.  And they're the type that can only be found on ladies(*), not on me.

(*) I'm sure the same is true for man-asses, but since that's never been my thing, well, its never been my thing.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 05:43:47 pm
Quote from: side_show
I was so disturbed - not by the titties or ass, but how the ladies are basically human-noid with cat ears.  There was a comic book like this.  I don't remember what it was called.  But there was a bunch of humanoid looking animals that had sex all the time.  It was awful.

For me, the disturbing part is not so much the ears as it is... the nose and mouth. The weird-ass bulldog-like nose and mouth that Chris draws on his cats. It's like someone else said... you're panning up the drawing and... nice legs... decent stomach... rude, rude titties and then... AGH, BULLDOG FACE! P-TOooo! P-TOooo!

It is like a chocolate of the finest gourmet shell with a still-steaming turd at the centre.

As for the comic... do you mean "Hepcats"? The one with the scary rhino head man? That one always weirded me out too. Unless you mean some thing far more explicitly pornographic, such as would be in the porno comics section in the back of the shop, next to... like... Heavy Metal and Cherry Poptart or whatever. In that case, you're on your own.

Quote from: side_show
Also re: rude titties - I totally have rude titties.  I have to be very careful, because they are the equivalent of telling someone their momma's so fat.  My titties will straight up tell you they think the dinner you cooked was awful, then spit in your face.  My titties do not leave a tip no matter how excellent the service.

This line of thinking makes me think of that Japanese Mr. Sparkle commerical on the Simpsons.

"Mr. Sparkle's titties are disrespectful to dirt!"

I applaud you, however, for understanding and controlling your rude titties.

My girlfriend has rather rude titties herself and it is all she can do to stop them from sassing back to elders.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: theinevitable on February 21, 2007, 05:58:42 pm
one of my good friends has titties that are... the RUDEST.
They sneak up on you, too. Suddenly you look at her and say... WHAT.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Roger on February 21, 2007, 06:03:42 pm
I was so disturbed - not by the titties or ass, but how the ladies are basically human-noid with cat ears.  There was a comic book like this.  I don't remember what it was called.  But there was a bunch of humanoid looking animals that had sex all the time.  It was awful.

You must be talking about Omaha. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omaha_the_Cat_Dancer) The guy who drew that even went as far as putting tails on his characters, something that Onstad doesn't seem to care about. Fortunately, I guess.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Sub_Topical on February 21, 2007, 06:14:26 pm
The shades and the far off gaze of the rude pair cat gave it the twisted stink of an '80s Camaro ad homage (being polite). I'd swear the setup was pulled from something on the tip of memory. Something swimsuit poster-ish.

That sorta familiarity makes for the creep.

No, I will not google image search to confirm. Enough nightmare fuel.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: side_show on February 21, 2007, 06:26:56 pm
You must be talking about Omaha. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omaha_the_Cat_Dancer) The guy who drew that even went as far as putting tails on his characters, something that Onstad doesn't seem to care about. Fortunately, I guess.

Yes.  Omaha was exactly what I was thinking of.  Good work.  Definitly much more pornographic than something like Heavy Metal.  Seeing a dog with an errect human c*ck hacing inter-species sex is something I do not want to see again, and the rude titties of this strip totally brought me back to that place.  It's is a cold, sad place.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 06:46:47 pm
Having read the Omaha wikipedia entry...

I'm pretty frightened.

It is bad enough, weird enough that you're doing a strip about explicit sex between cat-people... but... people are into all sorts of weird crap. I am pretty much at peace with the fact that there are people who get off on things I find horrifying and/or comical.

But... the lead character escapes sexual discrimination in an office setting by becoming a stripper?

No. I'm all for "sex positive feminism" as the wikipedia entry put it but... no. No. Sorry, no.

You know how everybody says "well, okay, a lot of strippers probably do it because their self-esteem is screwed up by some childhood emotional scar but I'm sure there are probably many who are just making money the easy way and we shouldn't judge them as exploited because..." etc etc etc.

Well, I'm made some friends out here who spent years working at strip bars as DJs and bartenders and bouncers and... it is their professional opinion that the latter stripper does not actually exist, the so-bleeding-heart-that-you-do-a-360 image of the liberated empowered stripper does not exist.

"They're all deeply damaged and fighting through Daddy issues, every single one of them."

I am a very liberal guy... but I'm not gonna try and out-liberal other people by meta-ing myself into thinking that there's some way that grinding truckers' faces for dollar bills at three in the morning can be the zesty and dignified expression of liberated sexuality.

And...

It's one thing when you want to have sex with a person who is half-cat that you draw comics of half-cat people fuck*ng. It is quite another when you go to deep lengths to innoculate your quasi-beastiality with half-baked pseudo-progressive sexual theory.

The skunkfucker doth protest too much so to speak.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: nDed on February 21, 2007, 06:50:24 pm
a hiaku:

look at those titties
tart apples in morning dew
life is not so bad

This is beautiful
Though it's not quite a haiku
Needs less syllables
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: jaydub on February 21, 2007, 06:53:48 pm
I applaud you, however, for understanding and controlling your rude titties.
My girlfriend has rather rude titties herself and it is all she can do to stop them from sassing back to elders.

My ladies' are rather demure - and their super powers are limited to telling the temperature.  This doesn't seem to be uncommon however.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 06:54:32 pm
Quote from: nDed
This is beautiful
Though it's not quite a haiku
Needs less syllables

seven syllables
then five and seven again
or am I backwards?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: nDed on February 21, 2007, 06:57:00 pm
seven syllables
then five and seven again
or am I backwards?

It's five-seven-five
This I believe to be right
But what do I know?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 06:59:37 pm
look at those titt-ies (5)
tart app-les in morn-ing dew (7)
life is not so bad (5)

seems correct?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: nDed on February 21, 2007, 07:01:37 pm
Tart(1) App(2) -les(3) In(4) The(5) Mor(6) -ning(7) Dew(8)

-TOUAMB Poetry Jam

Edit: Oops, my mistake  :-[

We should start a thread
Where all the conversations
Are in haiku form

(or not)
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Ernest Faulkner Hemingway on February 21, 2007, 07:11:15 pm
Yeah when I meet a girl I can't look at her I'm too ashamed???  ;D

However there are occasions when people enjoy myself and intentionally are around me!  ::)
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: CortJstr on February 21, 2007, 07:46:45 pm
Tart(1) App(2) -les(3) In(4) The(5) Mor(6) -ning(7) Dew(8)

-TOUAMB Poetry Jam

Edit: Oops, my mistake  :-[

We should start a thread
Where all the conversations
Are in haiku form

(or not)

Seeing as we share a server/admin/benevolent dictator with plagiarist.com that might seem appropriate. But let's go with "not" on this one.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: theinevitable on February 21, 2007, 09:35:07 pm
Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refrigerator.

(not mine.)

a-so: I think that qualititty quality is more important than rudeness.
Unless Rude can mean just... awesome?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: coldfrog on February 21, 2007, 09:57:37 pm
Tart(1) App(2) -les(3) In(4) The(5) Mor(6) -ning(7) Dew(8)

-TOUAMB Poetry Jam

Edit: Oops, my mistake  :-[
Extra articles
make you forget to discuss
our love of titties.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: nDed on February 21, 2007, 11:01:58 pm
I am most ashamed
I had not intended to
Slight the proud titty
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: pmcd9 on February 21, 2007, 11:03:28 pm
I think we already did a all haiku thread once upon a time.

Cort, do you remember this?
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 21, 2007, 11:05:34 pm
Quote from: theinevitable
Unless Rude can mean just... awesome?

Awesome is definitely part of the meaning. But not all of the meaning.

Awesome is to rude as mensch is to ubermensch. A starting point for form and yet so much more.

Rude is the Superman of Awesome. Strange visitor from another awesome.

Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: nDed on February 21, 2007, 11:06:21 pm
I guess Jough himself already beat me to the punch.

http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,594.msg9556.html#msg9556

Oh well.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Ernest Faulkner Hemingway on February 22, 2007, 12:12:14 am
Maybe you could buy Jough a coelth??  8)
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: wombat on February 22, 2007, 12:29:36 am

http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,594.msg9556.html#msg9556


Oh, wow, talk about small times. I still miss Zart. Sigh.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: side_show on February 22, 2007, 03:59:40 am

Wisdom of ages:
Rude titties are exalted.
terima kasih. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/side_show/350873592/)

(Photo link and Bahasa Indonesian in a single haiku!)

Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 22, 2007, 04:46:11 am
Okay, okay, okay... I just really wanna put a capstone definition on this:

"Rude" in this concept is, like, "so awesome that it is as though they are being rude to other things like them". To say that a lady has "rude titties" is as if to say "those titties are so awesome that they actively disrespect other titties".

It is RUDE how awesome they are. To say "rude" is just short for that.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Alternate on February 22, 2007, 05:29:12 am
I kind of think of asses as more functional and tits as more decorative -- asses being more likely to provoke a "This is a homeboy!" reaction from me for that reason.  It just seems like there are more ways to complete the sentence "Man, I'd like to ____ that ass," than the sentence "Man, I'd like to ____ those tits."  Maybe just because asses are more durable. 
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 22, 2007, 05:34:19 am
Perhaps that is the thing... I would never say "I want to tap that ass" because the idea of anal sex is completely disgusting to me. Call me weird but I have never wanted to give, let alone receive, anal sex in my life and I'm not really thinking I'm ever going to change my mind on that.

That's where the poop comes from! Fer God's sake!

Whereas I would definitely say "I want to tap those titties"... in the context of "I would definitely have to lightly tap those titties because I fear that if I went in too fast, I would be overwhelmed by their power and might die."
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: theinevitable on February 22, 2007, 06:18:44 am
watch out. light taps can approach the natural frequency of the titties, and they will explode/kill you.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Turbo Ninja on February 22, 2007, 01:59:18 pm
topped off with the scrotum-like visage of felis onstadus.

Linnaeus would be hell of proud right now.  Good show.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: CortJstr on February 22, 2007, 02:17:52 pm
watch out. light taps can approach the natural frequency of the titties, and they will explode/kill you.

All soldiers must break step when approaching the titties.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: iron_felix on February 22, 2007, 04:32:16 pm
watch out. light taps can approach the natural frequency of the titties, and they will explode/kill you.
All soldiers must break step when approaching the titties.

What a delightful mental image.  Cans for you both.

I kind of think of asses as more functional and tits as more decorative -- asses being more likely to provoke a "This is a homeboy!" reaction from me for that reason.  It just seems like there are more ways to complete the sentence "Man, I'd like to ____ that ass," than the sentence "Man, I'd like to ____ those tits."  Maybe just because asses are more durable. 

I remember reading somewhere that our hominid ancestors evolved titties when they began walking upright, because the ass was no longer at eye level and could not be displayed as prominently.  They are basically just decoys.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: jaydub on February 22, 2007, 05:24:18 pm
If selection pressures weren't present, I wonder how big mammaries would be in humans.  Maybe they'd even regress when not needed for lactation. 
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: theinevitable on February 22, 2007, 07:39:21 pm
don't you ever say that again.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 22, 2007, 08:10:50 pm
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Rude Titties.

Caution: Rude Titties may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Rude Titties contain a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Rude Titties on concrete.

Discontinue use of Rude Titties if any of the following occurs:
 
itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
or heart palpitations.

If Rude Titties begin to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Rude Titties may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Rude Titties should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Rude Titties, Truffles-of-the-Lady-Body Incorporated, and its parent company, Awesome Show Great Job Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Rude Titties include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Rude Titties have been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and are being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Rude Titties.

Rude Titties come with a lifetime warranty.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: theinevitable on February 22, 2007, 08:15:46 pm
prolonged exposure to rude titties may cause combustion.

(too easy? I contemplated "asphyxiation.")
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: CortJstr on February 22, 2007, 08:24:30 pm
Discontinue use of Rude Titties if any of the following occurs:
 
itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
or heart palpitations.

Several of those effects are the exact reasons I seek out exposure to Rude Titties in the first place.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 22, 2007, 08:41:01 pm
Quote from: CortJstr
Several of those effects are the exact reasons I seek out exposure to Rude Titties in the first place.

Then you have truely moved up to the next level.

Expect your ecret-say acobell-tay menu in the mail shortly.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Muse_Of_Fire on February 24, 2007, 04:38:18 am
I'm trying not to let this plot get to me. On the one hand, I find it very funny, and this thread has been making me giggle. On the other hand, I'm feeling sort of bummed because I have very polite titties. I carry all my rudeness on my derrierre. I'm hoping Ray will find a way to appreciate rudeness wherever it may reside on a woman.

I don't know why I feel I need to be validated by Ray. But I do.

I think it's that ballerina f'ed-uppedness talking.

As to a Breast Man drink... I've been wracking my brain for a couple of days. Seems to me it should somehow include Liebfraumilch wine, but I don't think that mixes well with anything. In fact, it's impossible to enjoy it by itself, even.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Muse_Of_Fire on February 24, 2007, 05:02:34 am
Okay... well, maybe it should be made with Midori, since, you know, it's a melon liqueur? But then again a breast man would likely not want to drink a fruity drink. Still, I did some checking around on the Midori site, and found The Japanese Slipper (http://www.midori-world.com/recipe/varieties/index.html), which definitely has the right appearance... although, as mentioned, I don't really see a breast man enjoying a fruity drink in a bar. ;)

For the record, a Midori caipirinha sounds abominable.

Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 24, 2007, 09:23:20 am
It is not necessarily where you are rude or how you are rude, it is that you have an essential rudeness. This is what matters. That you are rude in a manner that befits the ways you desire to rude your way through life.

Rudely-large titties would not be that useful to a lady trying to be truly rude at ballet. Balance issues would hell of throw off your balance when doing... those spin things and... that stuff on the tippy toes and... those crazy bends that no one should really be able to do.

Rudeness is an intrinsically Marxist quality.

From each, their rude abilities. To each, their needed rudeness.

I am rude sized and have a rudely-overactive imagination. These are the rudeness I provide.

Most of the dancers I have known have had devastatingly rude legs and tummies. All that exercise and so forth.

Rude people of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your chains.

What parts of you are rude, why you are rude, how you are rude... these are lesser points.

Just as long as you are rude. King Chochacho will handle the rest.

BE. RUDE. TOTALLY.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Doc on February 24, 2007, 11:28:52 am
Rudeness is an intrinsically Marxist quality.

You are on a serious roll lately. Canned.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Arachno-capitalist on February 24, 2007, 03:52:51 pm
Rude tits are not marxist. Rude tits are Capitalist all the way.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: MattFish on February 24, 2007, 07:08:20 pm
Okay... well, maybe it should be made with Midori, since, you know, it's a melon liqueur? But then again a breast man would likely not want to drink a fruity drink. Still, I did some checking around on the Midori site, and found The Japanese Slipper (http://www.midori-world.com/recipe/varieties/index.html), which definitely has the right appearance... although, as mentioned, I don't really see a breast man enjoying a fruity drink in a bar. ;)

For the record, a Midori caipirinha sounds abominable.



that does sound abominable. I don't have any Midori kicking around so I can't try that, but I'm just gonna throw the possible combination of cognac, midori and white grapefruit out there. it'll be a sickly color though, just like any midori drink.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on February 24, 2007, 08:44:34 pm
Quote from: A-CAP
Rude tits are not marxist. Rude tits are Capitalist all the way.

Oh, rude titties can be exploited in a Capitalist way, there is no doubtsy 'boutsy.

But such are all means of power. The Dark Side of the Rude can take you to the top of the world but few have been known to exploit the dark side without getting hell of arrogant and sloppy about it and invariably falling further than they rose.

Anna Nicole Smith's titties were so rude that they spun the dial and became unrude by the end of her days and... what did it leave her with? A baby daughter that her own son most likely sired and hell of poisoned by her lawyer.

Britney Spears rode her titty power to the highest heights of fame and adulation and... here she is, shaved bald in Tarzana to avoid drug testing, on the run from rehab in Malibu, her crazy-like-a-fox loser ex-husband holding all the cards on their children and a big chunk of her fortune and a tacky ass tattoo to boot.

Like matter or energy, rude titties cannot be created or destroyed by any means of production. They are a gift from The Fun God, not just to the ladies that bear them, but to the world entire. We are talking Liberation Theology up in here.

Yes, their power can be used selgiraffely... but receptacles of such divine power are not mere objects. To use them recklessly and not for the good of the proletariat and/or awesome-sex is to invite Cosmic Retribution. To abuse the gift of rude titties is to invite a Karma Tornado.

All sorts of minor sins that elsewise the universe would full-on let slide come flipping on back at you like a maelstrom. Have you ever met a stripper who was happy? This worker of the world sure hasn't. Have you ever met someone in the pornography industry who wasn't either in The Heart of the Storm or barely hanging on to their sanity, like a hobbit all trying to hang onto a ring of power just a little bit longer before being corrupted? This worker of the world sure hasn't.

Rude titties are here to make people happy, party people. Most especially the lady they have chosen to hell of grow on but for the entire world. Maybe even only that lady and one dude (or even hotter, one other lady) are meant to directly enjoy them?

But their rad beauty is for us all, to remind us why living is awesome.

Rudeness knows when it is being hoarded by plutocrats and rudeness will disappear when so abused, such is the wisdom of the Fun God behind their power. Rude titties misused will use their rudeness and simply be... big ol' titties. Which are still nice, usually, but hell of less powerful and hell of less rude.

Rude titties are not merely big titties, spake the Buddha, the lunch is not merely the meal.

Some of the rudest titties are titties that would be small on a different less awesome lady. You will know when titties are disrespectful to all the other teats in the room, cup sizes and measurements are for bankers and thieves who measure out rudeness in coffeespoons.

You cannot define rude titties but you will know them by their deeds.

Rude titties are here to make us all happy.

Senator, janitor, mother and nun.
Rude titties are here to make this life fun.

Rude titties know not the ledger marks of scriveners. They know only of awesome.

Awesome is for everyone.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Nate_Small on February 25, 2007, 02:10:32 am
Good God Little Falls I just need to pop in from my lurking to say that your posts are probably the most entertaining commentaries I've read on any subject. Ever. Way better than Larry King, no lies.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: MattFish on February 25, 2007, 06:53:59 pm
AMAZING

yeah, for reals, hell of cans. That was poignant.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Arachno-capitalist on February 25, 2007, 07:00:00 pm
dude, im just coming out in favor or rude tits. And they are not anti-capitalist.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: pmcd9 on March 01, 2007, 08:45:57 am
I think a rude titties t-shirt would be nice.  *cough*Word Front*cough*
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Alternate on March 01, 2007, 09:15:26 am
You will know when titties are disrespectful to all the other teats in the room, cup sizes and measurements are for bankers and thieves who measure out rudeness in coffeespoons.

Oh you get a tiny can for that one. 
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: littlefallsmets on March 01, 2007, 05:50:40 pm
I very much enjoy the idea that I got a tiny can for defending the potential rudeness of tiny cans.

Words are awesome.
Title: Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
Post by: Alternate on March 01, 2007, 06:21:03 pm
Oh wow, I didn't notice that.  Indeed they are.