The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: side_show on June 04, 2007, 03:35:04 am
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So look, here's the deal. You know the abandoned house I live next too? The one I've previously complained about that has been recognized by local users/huffers/homeless and has cause us misery due to fires, drunk/high people, general noise, vandalism to our cars, theft from our yard, used needles, drug paraphernalia and smashed glass near/on our property, etc.? Well things progressed to a whole new level about three weeks ago, when a couple moved in to the aluminum shed behind the house. I noticed them and the noise about three weeks ago. Then two weeks ago, I heard crashing around and arguing - the man yelling at the woman to "just fuck*ng go to sleep," etc. I called the police since I'm now almost constantly terrified that the house will be burnt down (it's less than six feet from my own house - we live on skinny lots). The police couldn't have cared less, and said they "might" send a car if there's one in the area. The cops did eventually show up and sent the couple on their way. The next day the SO and I went to check out the condition of the area, and saw that they filled the shed with soiled couch cushions, pillows, clothes, food, etc. - they are clearly living in there. On Saturday we were out working in our yard and the man came back again, got in the shed, but left (probably because of our noisy yardwork). This morning I was out working again, and he came back for another rest. I basically don't know what to do. I call the police and they don't care at all - I get a strong sense that I am somehow in the wrong for calling them - the opperators always sound annoyed and disinterested. There have been several times when I've called and they haven't come at all. When it came to arsons, we've put them out ourselves, and we've also cleaned up the drug paraphernalia, empty Listerine bottles, etc. I even found the abandoned houses' garage broken into a few months back. It had been filled with solvents and supplies that looked like they were destine to be made into meth. The entire garage stunk of fumes very, very strongly. I reported this to the police and to this day they've never come to investigate it.
I have a couple options I could explore: 1) Sink some of my own money and time into securing the garage and shed (possibly enraging the people using it into doing more damage to our homes/autos if they happen to spot us). Also I have been specifically told by the police that this is illegal, but since they're not doing anything to help.... 2) Go to city hall and determin the contact information for the home owner via property tax records - write her a letter she's likely to ignore (I met her once, when we first moved in, and as far as I can tell she's never been back). 3) Continue to call the police, maybe physically do down to the station to discuss the issue, write to everyone with even a speck of power, etc.
I should clarify that we are 1) poor and unable to afford home ownership elsewhere, 2) are locked into a special program that basically requires us to live where we are for 8 more years & 3) otherwise like the location because it is close to my work and most other amenities.
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Jesus.
I have no idea what you should do, but if I can help you in any way other than with knowledge (because I am empty in terms of that), let me know.
I guess I always either ignore things and stew, or well, I guess there isn't an or. I finally live somewhere that people aren't dicks now. I would probably spend a lot of time complaining to the cops and maybe elected officials (of your options that you listed).
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I think you should burn down that house yourself. It's not like anyone is going to point a finger at you. Make sure the fire department is promtly notified and have your hose out to keep your own house from going up, but yeah, burn the problem away. At the very least burn down that shed.
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If we don't hear anymore about this subject we'll assume you did the wise thing.
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Wow that is not actually a bad idea, as an idea, you know. It would be an interesting solution, to say the least.
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You know what problem I've been having?
I grill a lot. I fancy myself somewhat good at using the grill. But I've been having problems lately with starting by charcoal.
It's been really dry around here. We got no rain in the month of May. Normally things are pretty green about now, but it looks like August these days.
Anyhow, I was cooking ribs yesterday to celebrate Youngest West's 8th grade graduation (they turned out great...) and I had hella problems.
First, I oversprayed the lighter fluid. I'll admit to being somewhat liberal with the stuff. Mark it up to impatience and natural inborn tendencies. But somehow I got some lighter fluid on the vinyl siding without noticing it. WHOOOF! Luckily, my spray bottle was sufficient to put it out post haste.
So then the coals are hot and ashed over. I'm moving them around into a stack off to one side. I get a gust of wind at exactly the right time and a shower of sparks is blown onto the dry grass. WHOOOF!. OK, maybe not WHOOF. I stomped it out without much problem. But disturbing nonetheless.
So finally I'm arranging the grates. Normally I use two of the four in this situation. The charcoal goes on one side, the grates on the other. These are heavy cast iron grates, by the way. But I was cooking a lot of ribs (1 rack of baby backs, 1 rack of spare) and I needed more space. So I crowded the charcoal and used 3 grates.
Only I missed the edge with the last one and it fell onto the (precariously balanced) pile of (white hot) charcoal.
Luckily its trajectory ended in the (dry, highly flammable) grass instead of my hair, the lawn mower or anything more comically destructible. More frantic stomping was all that was necessary to reconcile the situation.
As to your problem, are these folks home 24/7? Had much rain lately? Would you like my recipe for rib rub?
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Jesus fuck. That is horrible.
Something to note... for firefighting we have 3" preconnect hoses that we pull as soon as we jump out. Truck 3 has about 500 gallons. The preconnect is an immediate response type of thing until we can connect to a hydrant. Then we do a hydrant connect, usually with 5" hose to hook up the rigs. We also have CAFF foam (I think that's what it's called) that we use for certain types of fire to help smother the flames.
My point about the shit that we do up here is that using a 1" garden hose to do firefighting until the FD gets there will probably not do much...but it's sure as fuck better than nothing.
Also as you mentioned, prompt notification of the fire department would be wise...They are likely to respond as fast as possible, unlike the worthless police department in your area. When you call 911, you should notify the dispatcher that you suspect that it's a meth lab, that you've TOLD the police department a million times in the past 6 months that it's a meth lab, and that they should send a hazmat crew.
Well...it's a double edged sword there. They might care enough to send an arson investigator, in which case he or she would probably be able to quickly deduce that it wasn't started from the meth lab. But you know...it's a rough part of town and it could have been set by rival drug dealers. The point is that you've noticed lowlife types prowling about for a damn long time, and that you've notified the police to no avail.
At any rate, the garbage has got to be cleaned up. That's fuck*ng ridiculous that they won't do anything.
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My ladyfriend works for a security company. They've resolved some meth problems by showing up in their *GAUDY* trucks, and hanging all manner of fake cameras.
She said the job pretty much sucked, since the meth heads were all giving her the hairy eye.
... And for a non-realistic solution, I read a few months ago about a house that was posted on Craigslist as about to be demolished, and everything was free for the scavenge. Maybe setting a couple hundred "cheap as free" seekin' Craigslisters upon the house might remove the problem. Hell, they might even take the shed!
Granted, there are moral issues with sending unsuspecting scavengers into a meth lab, since those locales are downright toxic, but... omlettes...eggs...Craigslisters...
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I don't know about the police, but in a situation abstractly similar to this one, I'd make an effort to make sure the information was getting to the right person. Are you just calling the same phone number again and again? Or have you tried to find the names of particular people who work on drug cases or whatever and speak to them directly?
And another strategy would be to involve the media - can you get a reporter interested in the story? That person may be able to get access to the right people where you can't.
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The media! Wombat you are brilliant! It's a fantastic sob story - young couple believes in downtown revitalization to the point where they build a house on an abandoned lot, only to meet with huge problems and apathetic police. I have connections in the industry.
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Eh, why do all that work yourself when if you can get a reporter interested, they have better means to get attention? Threatening your legislator that you won't vote for him again if he doesn't deal with the problem is nothing compared to the threat to have it all over the newspaper. Why not cut to the chase?
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Because a documented history of non-management also gives you a good opening for a solicitor, if necessary.
Is Smells tired of being poor?
Piles of documentation is always a good thing. These days in many situations it's the only way to make any progress.
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It also makes it easy for the reporter to write the story and run the fact checking.
Well as a part-time member of the media I'm glad to hear there are people out there who think of making something easy for a reporter. I thought journalists were below used-car salesmen on the respect meter these days.
But here's the thing: In my local paper there are columns where people sometimes write in about roughly similar problems and the story often seems to be that no matter how many phone calls the regular person made, they never actually got to talk to the relevant authority. Whereas once they told the reporter about the problem, he picked up the phone and got through to the person with very little trouble. Sure, you want to have made a few of those pointless phone calls before you call in the big guns, but it sounds like Smells has spent plenty of time talking to the wrong people already.
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Are you kidding? People are so excited by journalism that everyone's got a blog. It gives you an appreciation for how difficult it must be to actually crank out articles professionally. Of course, most bloggers fall far short of anything that resembles true journalism (independent confirmatory sources, contrasting opinions, etc) but the same is true of many professional reporters.
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I think maybe the way to start is to get hold of a digital camera to visually document things. I can tell people are living in the shed next door, or I can show them a photo of the situation to document how horrible the problem is. I can tell people there is (new development since last post!) human excrement, or I can show them a really retch worthy photo of it.
Also, I've already written to my city councilor pre-election to absolutely no response. I have the dated email on file. I used to be a journalist and also have close connections via the theatre's marketing dept. This should be a no-brainer. I don't really have time to take this on right now though. I'll have to wait until next month when I'm laid off.
As for the am I tired of being poor question, I'm not tired of being poor, I'm tired of bull shit. Or hobo shit. Or both.
Hey, as I'm typing this I hear someone vomiting next door. Lovely.
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What, we've abandoned the burn 'em out solution so quickly?
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I just called the police again because there were four people back there huffing and smoking meth. By the time they arrived only a man and a woman remained. To my horror they discovered that she was pregnant and both were huffing. I heard the police mocking her, because of her "bun in the oven" and "clearly this was a planned pregnancy." While they searched her bag they found condoms and asked her why she had so many since she was pregnant and she told them she was a prostitute. They released her after a search, one telling her she was "free to go and make some money," another responding "Yeah Sweetie, go make some money." Upon searching they found substances in the man's bag and took him in for questioning. They inspected the yard and were exclaiming in disgust about the "shit rags" and pointing out "that is human shit!" They came in to tell me they will now be investigating the situation with the house, and hopeful that there will be some action. They've also told me to contact my city councilor, the regional health authority and the city housing authority, which I will do.
As for the cure by fire, the house is less than 6 ft from mine, which is way too close for comfort. The shed itself is aluminum, so no go there. If a fire happens, it will not be our doing. There are three other houses on our street that were abandoned and subject to arson, and all three still stand vacant 2 years later, nothing being done at all, and one was set on fire a second time in the fall. Looking at these post-arson houses, they too show evidence of people squatting, lighting smaller fires, etc. Torching it is not a solution. The entire property would have to fully burn to the ground, which is unlikely to happen and even if it did, its unlikely we'd avoid significant damage our own home. While it would alleviate the squatter problem, this would just open the door to all the wonders of living next to an empty lot. There's a house three down from ours next to an empty lot and the side facing the empty lot is covered in 8ft tall gang graffiti and has had the windows smashed in repeatedly. Did I mention we have a gang problem. Oh yes, we do. Sigh.
I am under a huge deadline for my next play right now, but in one month I'll have all the time in the world. Nevermind the awfulness - it's hella distracting to have this problem because it happens right under my office window where I write.
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As for the cure by fire, the house is less than 6 ft from mine, which is way too close for comfort. The shed itself is aluminum, so no go there.
You can burn an aluminum shed with a road flare. Well, you can't really catch it on fire, but you can burn holes in it.
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Grind up some iron oxide and aluminum powder, cover the top of the shed with a quarter inch or so of it, toss up your road flare and enjoy the pyrotecnic extravaganza of thermite.
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God bless thermite.
Strong enough for industrial demolition, simple enough to make in your backyard.
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I was in such despair over the recent development: "She was pregnant! And huffing! And a prostitute!" that I forced the SO to take me out of the house for a while.
The shed is right against an old rotting wooden fence which is the only thing keeping the whole scene from spilling into our yard. What about just punching enough holes in the roof so that the roof is no longer providing shelter? Although I think we might get hepatitis from just entering the yard...
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I just called the police again because there were four people back there huffing and smoking meth. By the time they arrived only a man and a woman remained. To my horror they discovered that she was pregnant and both were huffing. I heard the police mocking her, because of her "bun in the oven" and "clearly this was a planned pregnancy." While they searched her bag they found condoms and asked her why she had so many since she was pregnant and she told them she was a prostitute. They released her after a search, one telling her she was "free to go and make some money," another responding "Yeah Sweetie, go make some money." Upon searching they found substances in the man's bag and took him in for questioning. They inspected the yard and were exclaiming in disgust about the "shit rags" and pointing out "that is human shit!" They came in to tell me they will now be investigating the situation with the house, and hopeful that there will be some action. They've also told me to contact my city councilor, the regional health authority and the city housing authority, which I will do.
As for the cure by fire, the house is less than 6 ft from mine, which is way too close for comfort. The shed itself is aluminum, so no go there. If a fire happens, it will not be our doing. There are three other houses on our street that were abandoned and subject to arson, and all three still stand vacant 2 years later, nothing being done at all, and one was set on fire a second time in the fall. Looking at these post-arson houses, they too show evidence of people squatting, lighting smaller fires, etc. Torching it is not a solution. The entire property would have to fully burn to the ground, which is unlikely to happen and even if it did, its unlikely we'd avoid significant damage our own home. While it would alleviate the squatter problem, this would just open the door to all the wonders of living next to an empty lot. There's a house three down from ours next to an empty lot and the side facing the empty lot is covered in 8ft tall gang graffiti and has had the windows smashed in repeatedly. Did I mention we have a gang problem. Oh yes, we do. Sigh.
I am under a huge deadline for my next play right now, but in one month I'll have all the time in the world. Nevermind the awfulness - it's hella distracting to have this problem because it happens right under my office window where I write.
Oh my god. That is the worst thing I've read. Your situation fuck*ng sucks. Another arson attack in the neighborhood would be awful, plus it would put your house at risk.
Those police officers are pieces of shit. Sadly, I can totally imagine them talking to someone that way. It doesn't matter that she's in dire straits and obviously has little control over her situation. GOD.
Women who are addicts are extremely vulnerable. There is a dude in my town who is in his 20s or 30s...and he forced high school girls to have sex with him or prostitute themselves in exchange for drugs. Who knows, maybe the guy in your backyard who was with that pregnant woman was forcing her to do prostitution work in order to get drugs for himself. What's going to happen to the baby? Even if it makes it through delivery, there's no way that she's going to care for him or her. And very few people will adopt a baby who has a disability. :(
I wish I could scrub out my brain to get that image out of my mind. Even the best-intentioned social services programs probably could not help those people.
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I'm afraid to say, what those people need is a bullet in the head .
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I'm afraid to say, what those people need is a bullet in the head .
inev ain't gonna like the sound of that.
Hey, we've all become republicans!
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wow. I was just thinking "man, I'm just glad no one has said she should brutally murder the squatters."
...
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I did make a joke tonight to the SO about serving them up some steak nice and tender, laced with poison. I was, of course, joking, but you know... poisoning slowly vs poisoning quickly... Holy hell, what am I saying?
Anyway, I took some really disturbing photos of the area tonight, while the SO stood by to guard me. I'll be uploading them tomorrow, so a link is to follow. Fortunately for you, smell doesn't translate to film. You will see the shit sock, but not smell the shit sock. The SO used a pair of pliers to remove a few items stashed in the yard, including a jagged piece of mirror with cut marks, and it's friendly partner, a razor blade.
One thing I forgot to note in the previous post was how hard the policemen were laughing at the ladies various condoms, and one exclaiming that she didn't have the right kind for him since she didn't have the Trojan extra larges.
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I'm often surprised about how some cops are total fuckers, and then I feel really uncomfortable about the potential that I might need to call on them for help (cops in PDX kill an awful lot of people).
I wish this was not happening to you.
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One thing I forgot to note in the previous post was how hard the policemen were laughing at the ladies various condoms, and one exclaiming that she didn't have the right kind for him since she didn't have the Trojan extra larges.
Hurr hurr hurrrr. I hope that fuck*ng asshole rots in hell. Seriously, what the fuck.
I'm often surprised about how some cops are total fuckers, and then I feel really uncomfortable about the potential that I might need to call on them for help (cops in PDX kill an awful lot of people).
I wish this was not happening to you.
Quoted for truth. Man, smells...I would say that you could come live with me but at this moment in time, I am in my crappy one-bedroom apartment, which I am leaving soon. I don't have a place in Denver yet. I wish that I could get you out of your lease somehow. The alert-the-media sounds like a good option.
Also...this is not even in the same universe of shittiness as to what's happening to you... but that was so precious I had to share it with y'all. my neighbors tied a DEER HEAD to the roof of their TRAILER so that the bald eagles and ravens will come pick it clean for them.
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Called the cops again, turns out the squatters have also broken in to and begun squatting in the garage as well as the shed.
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wow. I was just thinking "man, I'm just glad no one has said she should brutally murder the squatters."
For the record, I didn't advocate actually carrying out this prescription, but it seems like the best solution to their problems. When people become this degraded there are usually only two things that can change thier situation. They either die or they find Jesus and become hardcore Christians. Haven't these poor folks sunk low enough already? Think of me as a sort of Dr. Kevorkian for these squatters. It's too late for them to die with dignity, but shouldn't they be put out of their misery? It's the most humane thing to do.
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For the record, I didn't advocate actually carrying out this prescription, but it seems like the best solution to their problems. When people become this degraded there are usually only two things that can change thier situation. They either die or they find Jesus and become hardcore Christians. Haven't these poor folks sunk low enough already? Think of me as a sort of Dr. Kevorkian for these squatters. It's too late for them to die with dignity, but shouldn't they be put out of their misery? It's the most humane thing to do.
I don't live there, and I am not forced to smell and see and hear what goes on...scant inches beyond my door. What smells has to go through is heinous. I don't know what I would do, but things cannot continue as they are. Tiny can.
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Hey, we've all become republicans!
Yeah man, what the hell? Did a bunch of you all just turn 35 or something?
We need to get A-Dawg back, bring balance back to the force.
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Also...this is not even in the same universe of shittiness as to what's happening to you... but that was so precious I had to share it with y'all. my neighbors tied a DEER HEAD to the roof of their TRAILER so that the bald eagles and ravens will come pick it clean for them.
I bet you'll have to work pretty hard to find that level of local color in Denver.
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Here's my lovely album (http://www.flickr.com/photos/side_show/sets/72157594371924531/). Some of these shots almost look like art.
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Here's my lovely album (http://www.flickr.com/photos/side_show/sets/72157594371924531/). Some of these shots almost look like art.
Jesus Christ, mel! That is awful. Those look like some of the houses I've been forced to enter to get a patient. We go in with our regular PPE (personal protective equipment) and it never feels like enough. It makes me want a SCBA or respirator and to have kevlar gloves and then triple glove my hands. Jesus. The filth that some people will tolerate is unbelievable. I don't have to live near it, so I can't imagine what it's like for you. UGH.
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Well the "good" news is that the response to my police call last night lead to police kicking the door in on the garage, one of the squatters attacking an officer, as well as the "discovery" that the garage was filled with hazardous chemicals. Two or possibly three of the squatters were taken away by police.
As for the garage, I peeked in twice, once when we went to close it up after it was broken into but totally empty in the fall, and again when the man door had been broken into a month ago when I saw it had been fill with chemicals including varnish and other fluids I didn't recognize. I made a report about this last month, which was ignored by police.
The shed and garage have now been emptied and about 15 minutes ago an inspector from the fire department was checking out the property. So maybe some progress is being made. As it stands right now, the mattress and piles of rotten wood are still there and the garage and shed are both totally unsecured, but the inspector was digging in his trunk, looking for tools before he left, so hopefully he'll be back with what he needs soon. I'm really skeptical that things will get better, but even faint hope is better than nothing.
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Well, I don't know which of my moves caused it - the friendly conversation with an officer a week ago, the call to the police where I broke down weeping about nothing being done, the call to the arson prevention department or the three sternly worded letters to my local city councilor, but something put the fear of god into the owner of the property next door, and she and her boyfriend spent the whole day yesterday cleaning up, and the whole day today building a fence that will close off the yard! Hooray! I greatly overestimated her age the last time I spoke to her two years ago. She looks like she's only about 18-20, and her boyfriend about the same age. They haven't spoken to me once even though we've crossed paths a few times and I given the smile-and-wave. In fact the boyfriend's given me the evil eye enough times that I am thinking they must have been fined or otherwise threatened. Hey kids, I don't care if you hate me, just, you know, tend to your responsibilities! Rock!
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This is wonderful news! Oh frabjous day!
Ash, it's probably a typo, but I love the adjective 'shirty'.
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I used that on purpose 'cause I didn't feel good cussing at Smells today.
You aren't just being shirty, are you?
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I thought maybe you were using that term because the squattors had used shirts to whip their asses with, as noted in my flickr display. Anyway, woo hoo!
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I thought maybe you were using that term because the squattors had used shirts to whip their asses with, as noted in my flickr display. Anyway, woo hoo!
Oh jesus.
Anyway... mel, I am so happy to hear that shit is being cleaned up. Thank God.
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Oh for fuck sake.
So, this weekend I packed the SO off on a giraffeing trip with his dad so I could have some nice quiet time to write. It is the first time I've been home alone since the whole squatters ordeal. As I am writing, I hear a man and woman screaming at each other. Her yelling at him to take his fuck*ng things or they'll be in the fuck*ng garbage, him calling her a fuck*ng bitch, etc. I peaked out my window and saw that she was in the house across the street screaming out the window at him on the side walk. It was your basic lover's quarrel, made a little depressing because what I can only assume was the lady's little boy sat on the front stoop with a puppy, and two other neighborhood kids were just standing there frozen as the couple screamed at each other. The guy is tweaked out angry - he seems like he's either in a drug rage, or just angry to the absolute extreme. I watch to make sure he's not going to hit her, and shortly, the guy left, things got quiet again, and I went back to my writing. This was at about 8:30 PM.
So I continue working on my writing, and at about 10pm I decide to call it a night. I change in to my PJ's and go feed the cats. Just as I feed the cats, there's a pounding at my front door. A really loud pounding. It scares the hell out of me. I instantly think of my friendly neighborhood meth heads and also the extremely angry guy across the street. I'm home alone, I'm in my fairly revealing PJ's, so I'm not going to go to the door. In fact, I don't want to move because with it being dark outside and the kitchen light being on, a person outside will see my general form and know I'm a lady in my house alone. The pounding gets louder, then moves to the window. Then it moves back to the door (which is a steal door) and it becomes evident that the person out there is trying to force their way in as they slam against it with their body while jiggling the door knob. I'm terrified. Thinking I'll get a good look at them then dial 911, I turn off the house lights and switch on the porch lights, look out the window. It's the police. They see me, and stop trying to force the door in.
I open the door "Oh, thank god, I thought someone was breaking in..." - but then I see their hands are on their weapons. "Who else is in here with you?" "No one." "There's no one else in here with you?" "No." They enter. I'm shaken up because I thought a meth head might be trying to kill me and embarrassed that I'm half naked. "You sure there's no one else in here with you?" "Yes." "Why didn't you answer the door?" "I was scared. I'm home alone and I though someone was trying to break in." "Who is this in the picture?" "That's my husband. My partner." "And where is he?" "He's out in the country, he's gone giraffeing for the weekend." "Is there anyone upstairs?" "No." "Why didn't you answer the door, we were knocking pretty loud?" "Yes. I was scared. I'm alone, and I don't answer the door if I'm alone. I don't even go to the door - we've had a problem with squatters in the abandoned house next door... and there was a domestic fight across the street earlier" "And your husband. You're sure he's not upstairs?" Yes - he's not here." (one officer to the other) "You better check the address" He radios in, I hear the operator confirm the address over his radio, and give a phone number that is not my number. "That's not your number?" "No." "And your husband - does he have a cellphone?" "No. He doesn't have a cellphone." "Mind if we look around?" "Sure... If you could take off your shoes first" "Oh, don't worry, they're clean (showing me their squeaky clean shoes), and we can't take them off." "Oh. okay. If you could just while your shoes off on the mat... (they do)." "And you're sure we're not going to find anyone else in here." "No. Definitely. I'm alone." At some point I start shaking, as one officer passes me and heads upstairs. "You seem pretty shaken up." "Well yeah - I thought someone was breaking in..." I follow the officers up stairs as they fling open every closet, the shower curtain. I follow them downstairs as they do the same. "This is a pretty nice house." "Thanks." "Do you own this house?" "Yes. My partner and I do." "So has anything been going on here tonight?" "No... I've been working. I've been by myself. Jesus - you scared the hell out of me." It's actually sort of funny to watch the officer, all alert stance, flinging things open, with one had ready to draw his weapon. But only funny in the surreal way that seeing this happen in my home is. "Why didn't you answer the door?" "Well I was scared, and I'm in my pajamas, and we've had meth heads pound on the door before, looking for food or looking for money. I'm confused. What's going on?" "We got a call that someone was being beaten up here." "Oh, well there was a domestic fight across the street tonight. Maybe it was them?" "So nothing's going on here tonight?" "No. So is there an incident number I need to take down?" "Oh. No. We just got a call and we're looking into it." "How do you like the neighborhood. You say you've had squatters next door?" "Yes, but my neighbors on the other side..." Opening the front door "And which house was the dispute at?" "That one." "The white one?" "Yeah - the yellow one." "Okay. Sorry to distrub you." "That's alright. You scared the hell out of me! Not... not the looking around - just the pounding." And then they were gone.
Did I mention I love my neighborhood? Gah!
I realized, shortly after as I was weeping over the phone to my SO out in the country, I was supposed to go out to see a play (but I opted to stay in to write), and I could have just as easily been gone. I can't help but think they'd have kicked my door in, let my indoor cats out.
Also, about my last post: I was wrong - they weren't building a fence next door. They were building a deck!? WTF?
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Huh. About 10 minutes ago, I heard someone trying to get into my car. I switched off the light and looked out the window - they saw this and hurried away. Did I mention I love this neighbourhood?
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Good Lord Mel, that sucks. I see cops with a stick up their ass isn't just an American thing.
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I was reading the other day about how there are a lot of people who have shot and killed policemen who were attempting to break down their door without identifying themselves. Of course, this makes these people "copkillers."
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I had my inlaws over last year, and naturally enough, gave them the bed to sleep in while Stacey and I bivouacked (sp?) on the living room floor. Our living room looks out over the front yard (corner lot) so we've got a couple windows you can look through if you're so inclined. Apparently, that night some cops were chasing bad guys on foot through our neighborhood (which isn't usually a hotbed of cops n' robbers activity). The cops shone a flashlight in through a window and saw my wife and I sprawled on the floor. This appeared to alarm them as they began hammering on the door about six feet from my sleeping head. Fortunately, they did identify themselves as cops while they were at it, since the transition from peaceful slumber to family defending fight-or-flight had me up on my feet and charging towards the door aggressively before I even knew what I was about. Stacey was howling, the dog was barking - pandemonium.
It took them a while to decide that everything was in fact cool, and they eventually left after complimenting me on the front door. Their initial reaction had been to bash it in and rescue us from the bad guys, but it held. I was happy to take their compliments, because we had, in fact, put it in ourselves to replace the flimsy wreck that the house had come with. The point to all this was that they did identify themselves as the police when they were trying to break in. It might not have gone as well had they not done so and succeeded in breaking the door. I would no doubt have attacked one, possibly hurt him, and gotten a beatdown (at least) in return.
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Also, about my last post: I was wrong - they weren't building a fence next door. They were building a deck!? WTF?
Not to distract from the awfulness of your idiot police story but... this is certainly an intriguing thickening of the plot. Are they sprucing the place up to sell it, perhaps? Because it certainly sounded like all it needed to be the perfect dream home was a deck, right?
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I had my inlaws over last year, and naturally enough, gave them the bed to sleep in while Stacey and I bivouacked (sp?) on the living room floor.
...is this normal? I feel like sleeping on the floor in your own house breaks some sort of rule. I mean, I guess if the other option was in-laws sleeping on the floor... I don't know. I don't like it, not one bit.
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Update: Upon examination, my steel front door is minorly dented and scratched, but sustained no functional damage.
Wombat: Yes, the new deck is intriguing. Actually, it was required because the back door of the house opens to a 4ft drop. The old rotten stairway that led to it was the pile of rotten wood in my photos. I am hoping they are putting it up for sale, but I can't imagine the sucker who'd buy it. It's far beyond a fixer-upper at this point.
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...is this normal? I feel like sleeping on the floor in your own house breaks some sort of rule. I mean, I guess if the other option was in-laws sleeping on the floor... I don't know. I don't like it, not one bit.
I usually stay at my dad's house when I'm in town. They have a bunch of my furniture (sofa, bed, dresser, end tables, coffee table, 8x10 rug, lamps, desk, office chair, the list goes on and on...), so it's kind of nice to sleep in my own bed, which is in their guest bedroom, when I visit.
However, for the wedding, one of my aunts stayed with us. I had to remake the bed, move all my suitcases and crap into my stepmom's* craft room, and sleep on the sofa so that she could have my bed. Totally teh suck. Then again, I'm 28 and as a youngin I have to relinquish comfortable sleeping arrangements to my elders.
It would have been a TOTAL HUNT'S MOVE for me to keep the bed.
theinev, you can always shell out for a hotel room for the inlaws, or make sure that your house has a guest bedroom. Your choice, unless you want to sleep on the floor so they can have your bed.
*Whoa! It is so weird to say that.
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Then again, I'm 28 and as a youngin I have to relinquish comfortable sleeping arrangements to my elders.
This is pretty much our thinking as well. Part of the old "honor thy mother and father" thing.
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part of it is my really deep desire to have My Own Place, With My Own Rules. At this point, I have never had that. I, for some reason, have fantasies where someone says something offensive, or is mean to one of my friends... and I say "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
So maybe it's just me.
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Yeah, I just bought a bed after living like a fratboy for eight months here.
My best friend is coming for a visit in three weeks.
Now the question is: do I give him the bed or stick him with the (surprisingly comfortable) futon?
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Yeah, I just bought a bed after living like a fratboy for eight months here.
My best friend is coming for a visit in three weeks.
Now the question is: do I give him the bed or stick him with the (surprisingly comfortable) futon?
I'm surprised you aren't making him sleep on the sidewalk.
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I'm just not getting people's digs at me today.
Sleep on the sidewalk? Whaaaaaaat?
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What, don't you have a comfortable shed for him to huff in? Isn't that the trend these days?
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Yeah, I just bought a bed after living like a fratboy for eight months here.
My best friend is coming for a visit in three weeks.
Now the question is: do I give him the bed or stick him with the (surprisingly comfortable) futon?
I'm gonna be in Chicago THIS weekend.
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Yeah, I just bought a bed after living like a fratboy for eight months here.
My best friend is coming for a visit in three weeks.
Now the question is: do I give him the bed or stick him with the (surprisingly comfortable) futon?
I vote for giving him the futon.
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I'm just not getting people's digs at me today.
Sleep on the sidewalk? Whaaaaaaat?
Sort of a mix of giving what you get and the Queen song, I guess.
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Oh, I get why the digs, just not the digs themselves.
Like, if I said that you ate breakfast like that thing you do with rhinos.
Anyway, I have no shed, although there is a roof deck, and we discussed maybe sleeping up there one night.
Also, AugustWest, you are not allowed to visit Chicago without getting together for a drink and/or dinner with me. It's a new rule.
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Also, AugustWest, you are not allowed to visit Chicago without getting together for a drink and/or dinner with me. It's a new rule.
How's Friday night look for you?
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For you, I'll clear my fuck*ng schedule.
Seriously, let me know where in town you're staying and we can plan to get together somewhere convenient. This is my hometown now so the entire city is open to me.
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Just in general, how do you like Chicago?
(Like for someone who wants to move anywhere they can get employment between about ten cities, Chicago being on the list with like San Diego, San Francisco, Portland, Austin Denver, etc.)
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I love Chicago. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else right now. It's got everything I could want in a city - great architecture, unlimited things to do, natural beauty, natural midwestern beauties, a thriving economy, parks, beaches, the lake, great food, theatre, art museum, and more.
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you forgot "girls with one of the few incredibly unattractive accents you can have in English"
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Chicago sounds awesome. I found a really cute kitschy representation of Chicago here (http://www.statepillows.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=SP&Product_Code=City-Chicagopillow&Category_Code=CITY).
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I was listening to a Ben Folds song with a clip of his wife's voice in it and...
Like, no.
No matter how attractive she is or smart or funny she is, a heavy Austrailian accent... man, they shouldn't even give boys at summer camps salt-peter, they should just... play recordings of women with heavy Austrailian accents and they won't be able to maintain their erectionss.
This is just my own personal preference but... yeah.
Give me a lady from Chicago any day of the week over a lady with a thick Austrailan accent out.
I keep expecting their next words to be "oy, then, you know I act'ly have a c*ck, rai't?"
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I wouldn't want to live anywhere else right now.
Sure, but six months from now...
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I was listening to a Ben Folds song with a clip of his wife's voice in it and...
Like, no.
No matter how attractive she is or smart or funny she is, a heavy Austrailian accent... man, they shouldn't even give boys at summer camps salt-peter, they should just... play recordings of women with heavy Austrailian accents and they won't be able to maintain their erectionss.
This is just my own personal preference but... yeah.
Give me a lady from Chicago any day of the week over a lady with a thick Austrailan accent out.
I keep expecting their next words to be "oy, then, you know I act'ly have a c*ck, rai't?"
Whoa! I didn't realize that people felt that strongly about accents. I personally love Australian accents. They're hot. Why don't you like women from Aus, dude? Did seeing "Priscilla: Queen of the Desert" scar you emotionally?
Sure, but six months from now...
Winters there sound horrible, but I bet they ain't as bad as the ones out here. Anyway, el Jefe has already lived through Chicago winters, yes?
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you forgot "girls with one of the few incredibly unattractive accents you can have in English"
Southern?
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Whoa! I didn't realize that people felt that strongly about accents.
I used to teach a whole class about how people feel strongly about accents. Well, there were a few other related topics, but you could easily talk about just that for a whole semester.
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cort...
cort...
how can you...
no.
girls with southern accents are...
OK, let's just say that any accent taken to an extreme is unattractive. But. A light to moderate southern accent... is lovely.
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I might be biased, but I find Aussie ladies quite pleasing. There's a distinct difference (IMO) between the Aussie male and female accents. I can't describe it though. I guess I'd leave it at, if a gravelly, smoker voiced Aussie was going on about some gender neutral topic, I'd have no trouble telling whether they're female or not.
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I find Southern accents very unattractive in women as well but...
Like, I'm not going to explain it because...
Some of you guys are from the South. I don't want to unduly anger you with the preconceived notions of Southerners that only a New-Englander-transplanted-to-Southern-California could have. They are completely unfair but they are so deeply planted in my soul that I cannot shake them.
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When I lived in Memphis TN, I was playing scrabble with the neighbor's teen (18, as was I) daughter. I spelled the word "YULE". She looked at it, and then looked at me and said "Oh, like, Yule go to the store?"
I said yes.
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No matter how attractive she is or smart or funny she is, a heavy Austrailian accent... man, they shouldn't even give boys at summer camps salt-peter, they should just... play recordings of women with heavy Austrailian accents and they won't be able to maintain their erectionss.
Diff'rent strokes, I suppose... Australian accents are the best as far as I'm concerned. Followed closely by British, Southern, and Russian accents.
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oh, now, see, there is a certain southern accent that is horrible. But then there is the really subtle one that some ladies I know have... that one knocks me right out.
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Re: Australian accents this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn0lwGk4u9o) is my argument. The lady in the bikini, not the one with the camels. How can you not dig that accent? I'm almost certain my liking of this accent has nothing to do with her bikini.
There are variations that are bad though, mainly from down south, just like I've heard sexy and horrifying versions of a female southern USA accent.
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Okay, I'll admit it:
A heavy Southern accent sounds like some sort of brain damage to me and on some deep genetic level I cannot get over the idea that I cannot risk the accident of allowing my genes to mix with someone unable to speak a language.
I am sorry. I apologize. I do not intend this.
My father once told me: "There are only two stereotypes that are true, Mike. Most Irish are drunks, most Southerners are ignorant. Everything else is a damned lie but I have seen no evidence against those two stereotypes."
Of course he also told me: "Mike, you can be anything you want in the world. Except for president. Because if you're a Catholic president, they'll blow your brains out in Texas."
My dad's a weird guy. Awesome but weird.
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No one has ever asked me why I dropped what southern accent I had.
It's kind of unfortunate, but there you go.
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People ask me all the time why I "got rid" of my Aussie accent. They didn't have to be a 12-year old boy in pre-Paul Hogan America, is my reply.
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No one has ever asked me why I dropped what southern accent I had.
It's kind of unfortunate, but there you go.
So . . .
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My father once told me: "There are only two stereotypes that are true, Mike. Most Irish are drunks, most Southerners are ignorant. Everything else is a damned lie but I have seen no evidence against those two stereotypes."
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Wetbacks, Paul. Wetbacks.
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Nope.
"Everyone else is just people. Don't trust the heavily religious, either, but that's... like... that's not an ethnic thing."
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Actually, Paul, I think you might have that back to front. I can't remember the whole punchline, but it ends up "too lazy to steal".
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People ask me all the time why I "got rid" of my Aussie accent. They didn't have to be a 12-year old boy in pre-Paul Hogan America, is my reply.
Does it come back when you're really stressed out? I studied Spanish for 3 years in high school. I had a very good accent through extensive practice (my teacher asked me if my folks spoke Spanish at home, and I replied that no, we're Sicilian). However, whenever I got really tired or really angry or whatever, it would get shot to shit and I would just be speaking pissed-off-gringa.
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That's one of the things we talked about in that class I taught. If people's accents have changed, they often revert at least partially to their childhood accent in emotional situations.
Let's go to jaydub's house and tease him till he gets really mad and see what happens...
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I really, really, really want to hear my dad with his Boston accent. He got rid of it in his mid-20s. It made my mom very happy.
weird thing: people constantly ask my mom if she is from Boston, Wisconsin, or Chile. These are all places she has lived. Apparently she has some tiny amount of accent from all of them.
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I've gone through my life with an accent that people (in australia anyway) either identify as canadian or irish but never australian. My dad is third generation australian from england and my mum grew up in new zealand so there's no logical explanation but I just can't seem to shake it.
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Doc, I left you on your parents' door stop. I am glad they made a good life for you.
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Does it come back when you're really stressed out? I studied Spanish for 3 years in high school. I had a very good accent through extensive practice (my teacher asked me if my folks spoke Spanish at home, and I replied that no, we're Sicilian). However, whenever I got really tired or really angry or whatever, it would get shot to shit and I would just be speaking pissed-off-gringa.
Yes, it does - sorta. A lot of what "says Australian" to most people is the slang and so forth. Since I went to a prep school in the suburbs of Sydney, I never had a chance to pick up much of that, save what I learned from my mates' older brothers. Also, when I yell loudly (either in anger or to be heard at a distance).That's one of the things we talked about in that class I taught. If people's accents have changed, they often revert at least partially to their childhood accent in emotional situations.
Let's go to jaydub's house and tease him till he gets really mad and see what happens...
If a girl teased me, I'd probably cry.
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Doc, I left you on your parents' door stop. I am glad they made a good life for you.
HEE! Smells, that is like the third tiny can you've gotten from me today. You're awesome.
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Doc, I left you on your parents' door stop. I am glad they made a good life for you.
*sniff* I never thought this day would come...
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There, there son. Now just put down that Vegemite and pick up the Poutine and everything will be fine.
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I sense a trap...
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No, no, eating poutine is an act of absolute freedom. It is like saying to the world and your own digestive track that you don't give a fuck and that you don't care who knows it. If the levels of sodium related to mixing Vegemite and poutine together weren't scientifically proven to be toxic we could start with combining both then slowly ween you off the Vegemite, but that would be a dangerous road to go down. Then again, the poutine itself will slowly kill you... but isn't that what all mothers do? Slowly kill their children? Smother them with love or gravy and cheese curds? No? Oh, well that explains the abandonment. Maybe it's for the best... Let's just forget I said anything.
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No, no, eating poutine is an act of absolute freedom. It is like saying to the world and your own digestive track that you don't give a fuck and that you don't care who knows it. If the levels of sodium related to mixing Vegemite and poutine together weren't scientifically proven to be toxic we could start with combining both then slowly ween you off the Vegemite, but that would be a dangerous road to go down. Then again, the poutine itself will slowly kill you... but isn't that what all mothers do? Slowly kill their children? Smother them with love or gravy and cheese curds? No? Oh, well that explains the abandonment. Maybe it's for the best... Let's just forget I said anything.
smells, that description of poutine scares the hell out of me. Kellichou informs me that I'm insane and "no wombie of hers" because I hate gravy. However... if I ever go to Canadia, I will try one bite of Poutine for your sake as I pour out a 40 for my coronary arteries.
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My best friend and I have a special code. We were talking about how she's trying to make a baby right now, and pondering what food she will crave. Naturally I suggested poutine, and she agreed. It was the main food we would get post-bar in our younger days. So the code is, one day, she will call me up and tell me that I have to take her out for some poutine, and that will be her way of tell me she's gotten knocked up. I'm the only person other than her husband who will know before the three month mark. So poutine does have a special place in my heart... and also in the arterial plaque around it.
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smells, that description of poutine scares the hell out of me. Kellichou informs me that I'm insane and "no wombie of hers" because I hate gravy. However... if I ever go to Canadia, I will try one bite of Poutine for your sake as I pour out a 40 for my coronary arteries.
Oh my Ghod, I've wanted to hear try Poutine every since I learned what it was. It sounds DELICIOUS! "It was a delicious death, Brak," I would murmur, patting my stomach, after puttin' away some tasty poutine. I seriously don't understand why Linnea hates gravy, gravy is awesome. And hot frites with squeaky-fresh cheddar curds, topped with gravy--what a way to go!
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I've wanted to hear Poutine every since I learned what it was.
It TALKS?!
At least the worst vegemite can do to you is cause unreasonably rosey cheeks.
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No, no, eating poutine is an act of absolute freedom.
Yes, but can you make it into a sandwich?
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Good poutine makes its own damn sammich.
Well, when you're buying bread from a man in Kitchener, you let me know how that works for you.
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Oh my Ghod, I've wanted to hear Poutine every since I learned what it was. It sounds DELICIOUS! "It was a delicious death, Brak," I would murmur, patting my stomach, after puttin' away some tasty poutine. I seriously don't understand why Linnea hates gravy, gravy is awesome. And hot frites with squeaky-fresh cheddar curds, topped with gravy--what a way to go!
Can for Brak omelet reference. Also Linnea should note that I don't like gravy on my fries, but I'll take it on my poutine without batting an eye.
It TALKS?!
Yes, mostly it mutters "you're going to regret this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon - and for the rest of your life." This warning is surprisingly easy to ignore. Especially if the cheese is so melty you stretch it out in strings that lead from the plate to your mouth.
Well, when you're buying bread from a man in Kitchener, you let me know how that works for you.
I am now forced to segue into a conversation about the famed British chip butty (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chip_butty)? Clearly a gravy chip butty already exists, and being a British pub staple, I highly doubt that no one has added some cheese to the mix... though it is not called a poutine butty, I'm sure poutine does exist in sandwich form under another name on a menu here or there in the UK.
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Well, when you're buying bread from a man in Kitchener
6'4" and full of muscle?
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Every time I see the word poutine I think of boudin. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_as_food)
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Every time I see the word poutine I think of boudin. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_as_food)
HURRRGGGHHHH!! No wonder that shit is trayf (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trayf). God damn.
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Chip butties are delicious, exactly what you need when you've got some left over chips from giraffe and chips or whatever.
It also works if you put crisps on a normal sandwich, particularly chicken.
See also: Bacon Buttie.
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Chip butties are delicious, exactly what you need when you've got some left over chips from giraffe and chips or whatever.
It also works if you put crisps on a normal sandwich, particularly chicken.
See also: Bacon Buttie.
Is a Chip Butty where you butter two slices of bread and then use french fries as a filling for a butter and french fry sandwich?
A sandwich made with french fries/chips. I cannot believe this hasn't yet caught on in America.
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I just don't see how bread would improve french fries. And don't they get soggy crowded together like that?
But Doc is right about potato chips on a sandwich. I used to eat them on tuna giraffe sandwiches all the time. I stopped when I was no longer able to delude myself that they had no calories if you snuck them in that way, but otherwise I highly recommend it.
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Yes Linnea, that is exactly what it is. For all your pitiful american attempts at obesity the english had you beat at pure, coronary hardening grease from the word go.
W: It's not just the bread you understand, there must be copious amounts of butter on there too (and/or gravy if you like), hence 'Butty'. The warm greasyness improves the flavour and the texture and makes it far easier to consume your fries in bulk.
Really they should also be the thick style chips (fries) not the skinny crispy kind.
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I just don't see how bread would improve french fries. And don't they get soggy crowded together like that?
But Doc is right about potato chips on a sandwich. I used to eat them on tuna giraffe sandwiches all the time. I stopped when I was no longer able to delude myself that they had no calories if you snuck them in that way, but otherwise I highly recommend it.
I have mostly hated tuna giraffe sammiches. I think they're gross. But they are vastly improved by the addition of potato chips within the sandwich.
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Chip butty's can be found on many a local pub menu, but I've never ordered one. Even at my drunkest, I've always opted to wait for poutine rather than have a butty. I tend to think the combination of starch between starch doesn't work for my pallet. I mean, I'd never eat a fettuccine Alfredo sandwich or a fried rice sandwich. I'm not much a bread fan. Really I think the chip butty is another example of using bread as a vehicle to transport contents to one's mouth, rather than as an actually enhancement of the eating experience.
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Chip butty's can be found on many a local pub menu, but I've never ordered one.
Ms. Nabu and I went to a "Scottish" pub with her brither and his wife once. One of us ordered Scotch eggs and we all tried them and more-or-less enjoyed them. Much later I described the event to a co-worker from Scotland. With obvious incredulity, she said "you aren't supposed to eat those".
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I suddenly feel compelled to inject into this conversation the fact that where the Technical Staff grew up in Fall River, Mass., a local delicacy is the chow mein sandwich.
If you wish to experience this, you can buy a local chow mein mix
here (http://www.famousfoods.com/newengland-chow.html) and prepare an authentic sandwich according to the directions here. (http://www.flavorandfortune.com/dataaccess/article.php?ID=179)
Not that I am suggesting that this is a good idea or anything but God, I love the internet.
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Addendum: The Technical Staff says that the Fall River delicacy that really belongs in this thread is a sandwich of french fries and chourico, which is a Portuguese sausage. He says you don't put grease all over the bread, so I'm guessing that one of these run about neck and neck with the chip butty for fattiness.
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If chourico is anything like chorizo the Mexican sausage there is no need for extra grease because the sausage is pure grease already.
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Apparently a local delicasy in victoria is a 'meat pie floater'. This is a meat pie in a bowl of pea soup. I've never seen this and I am kind of afraid to believe it exists.
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Tech Staff insists there is no sausage on Earth greasier than Portuguese chourico but when pressed, admits to not being familiar with the Mexican version.
And Doc, congratulations, that is one of the most disgusting messageboard posts ever.
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I once tried to cook a chorizo sausage in a skillit and it became liquified.
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I once tried to cook a chorizo sausage in a skillit and it became liquified.
I suspect boudin might do that - hey look, a pan full of hot blood!
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I suspect boudin might do that - hey look, a pan full of hot blood!
I wonder what happens to clotted blood if you heat it. I expect that even clotted blood will break down at some point.
...That's so fuck*ng disgusting. It's almost enough to put one off one's Scotch and soda. I had better ring up the pool boy for another.
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And Doc, congratulations, that is one of the most disgusting messageboard posts ever.
It's made by south australians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pie_floater), they don't know any better.
I suspect boudin might do that - hey look, a pan full of hot blood!
Now I'm hungry.
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apropos of nothing: I am so sorry for those of you who wake up this early regularly.
At the same time: I always forget how nice it is to be up early, drinking some tea, while everyone is asleep in my house.
at the same time: hate that dog that was barking until 3 or 4. hate him to hell.
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And Doc, congratulations, that is one of the most disgusting messageboard posts ever.
It's made by south australians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pie_floater), they don't know any better.
According to the article, Joe Cocker loves them, and that's good enough for me.
Seriously, now Joe Cocker is a recognized food authority?
Edit: There's also this.
In 2003, the pie floater was recognised as a South Australian Heritage Icon by the National Trust of Australia.
Sorry, what now?
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Apparently a local delicasy in victoria is a 'meat pie floater'. This is a meat pie in a bowl of pea soup. I've never seen this and I am kind of afraid to believe it exists.
You mean Terry Pratchet didn't make this up? That's frightening.
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I would eat that. A meat pie in pea soup? Yes. I would eat that. But I grew up on fried bologna, organ meat and cow tongue, so... you know, my standards are low.
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But I grew up on . . . cow tongue, so... you know, my standards are low.
Did we not talk about not eating other animals' eating parts?
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fried bologna,
Mmmm. Fried bologna...
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Ms. Nabu and I went to a "Scottish" pub with her brither and his wife once. One of us ordered Scotch eggs and we all tried them and more-or-less enjoyed them. Much later I described the event to a co-worker from Scotland. With obvious incredulity, she said "you aren't supposed to eat those".
I read on the internets about the humble Scotch egg. Apparently it has a bad rep because it has fallen into low times with companies making them with the cheapest, most disgusting meat possible and then they are sold frozen everywhere. I'm sure that there are places that make decent Scotch eggs.
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There's a recipe for Scotch eggs in the Achewood cookbook. They were perfectly edible but not something I'd go through the trouble of making again. I've got a picture somewhere here. (http://www.rebsig.com/kogepan/achefood.html)
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As my country's hosting the Fifa World Cup, we turned on the news today, which was visiting a restaurant that had created a Fifa menu of street n' pub grub from around the world. The two recipes they covered? Scotch Egg and Chip Butty (served with a side of mayo for dipping). Odd how these things happen. I believe they call it psychic resonance?.. or no... what's the term for where you think of something, then you notice it everywhere, regardless of it was always around or just started popping up? I can't remember what that phenomenon's called... but it happened to me and the cast members of a play I was directing about fedoras... Anyway, the newscaster lady took the tiniest nibble of the Scotch Egg she had just made, made a really inauthentic "Mmm" sound then and called the Butty "the ultimate comfort food."
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Chip Butty (served with a side of mayo for dipping)
This phrase gave me some interesting insight into how my mind works.
My reaction to the concept of a chip butty: "hey, french-fry sandwich? That sounds like it could be good."
My reaction to a chip butty being slathered in butter: "I bet it adds some nice richness. Throw on a little salt..."
My reaction to a chip butty being dipped in mayo: "What? Seriously... what? No, I'm sorry, that's not right."
Either I have a certain level of greasiness I can't go beyond, or I just have an unusual dislike of mayo.
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I *love* a girl with an Aussie accent. Listen to Naomi Watts talk. She's 10x hotter than she looks just because of the accent. I also love how the word "no" in Australian is a three-syllable word (nyee-ah-oh).
I've only met one person in Chicago so far that sounds like they should be a guest on Bill Swerski's show (Da Bearce, etc) but then again, I live on the north side.
And yes, I say I'm in love with Chicago *now*, but I'm sure the romance will fade at some point. Or will it?
I know a lot of people here who are from elsewhere. Hardly any Chicagoans are *from* Chicago.
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The chef said the chip butty bread was "slathered in fat." He didn't say what kind of fat though. Disturbing. I am a lover of mayo, and my fries usually get dipped in it. For me it's the bread and fat that make it unappetizing.
I have eaten poutine dipped in mayo, since this is my MO for regular fries... but each time I try this, I realize I don't actually like it. It's too much. It's too much.
Also, we were watching a shitty animated Canadian cartoon today, and the characters all hang out at a restaurant run by a French Canadian that only serves three sizes of poutine. The animated poutine looked delicious. Also one of the two main characters works at a beer store. This is a kids cartoon. Being Canadian is weird sometimes.
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The chef said the chip butty bread was "slathered in fat." He didn't say what kind of fat though. Disturbing. I am a lover of mayo, and my fries usually get dipped in it. For me it's the bread and fat that make it unappetizing.
There ain't nothing in the world that can't be made better by slathering.
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As my country's hosting the Fifa World Cup
??? That is every four years, and in South Africa in 2008.
Edit: It is the Under 20 FIFA World Cup. Sorry.
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There's a recipe for Scotch eggs in the Achewood cookbook. They were perfectly edible but not something I'd go through the trouble of making again. I've got a picture somewhere here. (http://www.rebsig.com/kogepan/achefood.html)
how were the galaxy nachos? Im debating whether to make them or a take on 5-layer dip.
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The important thing about the nachos recipe is the advice to heat the chips in the oven before you add toppings and then heat them again. I know this sounds like a fuss but it really makes a difference.
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Poutine is extremely awesome. That is all.
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Poutine is extremely awesome. That is all.
A CAN for truth, sir!
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I tried a Chip Buttie (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/772153929/).
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I still say that'd be the awesomest name for a gay porn star ever.
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I tried a Chip Buttie (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/772153929/).
Chip Butties are on your program? What kind of program is this, Paul?
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I still say that'd be the awesomest name for a gay porn star ever.
Definitely be a SB star though.
Welcome to the fold Paul.
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Chip Butties are on your program? What kind of program is this, Paul?
Oh yeah. That is definitely the diet plan I am looking for.
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Chip Butties are on your program? What kind of program is this, Paul?
It works for me.
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According to the authoritative site, Bumwines.com (http://www.bumwine.com/others.html), the choice of Canadian winos is
(http://www.bumwine.com/bumwine/pale_dry_select.jpg). Just thought I'd share.
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I know a lot of people here who are from elsewhere. Hardly any Chicagoans are *from* Chicago.
Not in the Gold Coast or Lincoln Park or Wrigleyville to be sure. Go down to Bridgeport or Back of the Yards, or Pullman or Ukranian Village or Rogers Park. You'll find the real Chicagoans in the middle class neigborhoods. Also, Jough, if you haven't been to the Chicago Historical Society Museum yet...It's pretty awesome.
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Chip butties are practically the welsh national dish, along with take-away curry, greasy donner kebabs and Peter's pies & pasties. In my opinion the perfect butty has to be soggy. No extra slathering of any kind required, the chips've gotta be greasy enough to moisten it up themselves. Mmm!
That poutine sounds hell of tasty. I'd never even heard of it before, even though gravy and chips amount to a pretty significant portion of my calorie intake. I figured it was kind of a welsh thing, couple of mates of mine from London were appalled when I ordered a tray of it in a chip shop. It's good to know that its sheer, unadulterated awesomeness is enjoyed worldwide.
As for accents, I completely dig australian and french. If someone combined the two I it'd be a whole new world of sexiness. Or maybe not, I can't imagine "G'day, ooh la la" working too good. I've got a pretty heavy (welsh) valleys accent, which, coupled with my mumbling and stuttering and talking way too damn fast means most people can't understand a damn word I say.
Oh, bugger. I just sort of realised this thread is kind of inactive, but I've already written the reply now. Not only that, but it's pretty much entirely off-topic.
So, uh, sideshow, sucks about the bums, maybe the neighbours shall be better. Sounds like a hell of a neighbourhood, or maybe just a hellish one.
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Heh. We had a francophone student of the flamboyantly gay ilk visit us last night along with my friend who has sponsored him over on a summer program. So to bring things vaguely on track.. he was complaining in a French/gay accent about her having him meet her in a sort of bad part of town. I sort of chuckled because that part of town is much nicer/safer than my neighbourhood(the one we were walking through as he said this). I enjoyed pointing out the gang graffities and boarded up arson-burnt houses to him and he grew more and more uncomfortable.
I was actually thinking about the poutine posts here on Friday. Locally, you can even get poutine at KFC. For a dollar more you can have any value meal turned into a poutine meal - you get more fries, cheese curds and really tasty chicken gravy. Eating a fried chicken sandwich with poutine is staggeringly bad for you, but I didn't think about this when ordering. Anyway, it was tasty, but I also worried that I am killing myself with food. Like many of the animals here, I am going into pre-hibernation mode.
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take-away curry
So, this is just Indian food, right? Like... why do people from British Isles Areas talk about this food so much.
also: smells my dad told me a story recently about how when he first moved to LA, he would have to walk across the street to a convenience store to call my mom (they were dating at the time) who still lived in Amherst (University of Massachusetts). He would always eventually say that the area where he lived was really sketchy, and he wanted to get back to his apartment, he was afraid of break-ins, etc etc.
Years later, when they lived in LA, they would occasionally drive down that street and laugh. that was, apparently, actually a pretty nice part of LA.
I do the opposite in St Louis. When I am in a bad part of town I just get really excited looking at all the cool old buildings. At least, I think? I have no idea what constitutes a bad part of town. I am really bad at judging this.
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A friend who lived in London for a few years told me the "curry" is just insulting there. Totally bland and unflavourful. Perhaps emmdee can tell us if this is the case in his part of Wales? Granted I was out at the best Indian restaurant in the city last night. Samosas and Butter Chicken and Vegetable Korma, oh my! You can order curry so hot here that you can see through time when you eat it.
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Sideshow, at least you're killing yourself with nice food. You could choke on artichoke tomorrow, so make the most of it!
Whenever I've had curry in Merthyr it was been pretty good. I couldn't eat the proper spicy ones, I aint really into self torture. The chicken korma used to rock my proverbial socks. I'm not the best person to ask though: I spent most of my time there so stoned I'd have eaten week-old puke if someone had put it on a plate, chucked some sugar on top and called it porridge. And enjoyed it. I guess it's so popular (curry, not puke) because of the old british empire. There's quite a few indian words been incorporated into the language, so it's probably something similar. Wait.. that aint linguistics, is it?
I used to live in the "bad" part of town.. In Britain that usually means council estates. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_house) The place I lived, the Gurnos, had a hell of a reputation. There was gang graffiti a-plenty, and more chavs than you can shake a lead pipe at. I never had anything happen to me, but I didn't live there long and hardly left the house. Someone there found a dead baby in their attic once, and there were a fuckload of junkies. You could pretty much get any high you wanted within a few minutes walk. It looked the part, too.. row upon row of identical grubby houses with boarded up windows, the odd burnt out car and empty white lightning bottles and cans of carling strewn across the place.
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I adore Indian food and seeing photos of chavs online. I've never seen a British chav IRL...although with the white trash and gangstas we have in Aurora, there are plenty of American chavs.
I kept trying to convince my younger sister to eat Indian food, but it wasn't until she visited London that she finally got on with it. She hated British food even more, so to choose the lesser of the two evils she finally knuckled, bought some Indian food, and fell IN LOVE WITH IT. Now she and I go out regularly for Indian. Mmmm. Is so delicious.
I have gone out a few times with a very nice guy whose family is Bangladeshi. He says that most of the Indian food here in the States is Pakistani or Bangladeshi, especially the meat-heavy dishes.
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I adore Indian food and seeing photos of chavs online. I've never seen a British chav IRL...although with the white trash and gangstas we have in Aurora, there are plenty of American chavs.
I kept trying to convince my younger sister to eat Indian food, but it wasn't until she visited London that she finally got on with it. She hated British food even more, so to choose the lesser of the two evils she finally knuckled, bought some Indian food, and fell IN LOVE WITH IT. Now she and I go out regularly for Indian. Mmmm. Is so delicious.
I have gone out a few times with a very nice guy whose family is Bangladeshi. He says that most of the Indian food here in the States is Pakistani or Bangladeshi, especially the meat-heavy dishes.
Here in Hawaii, there are one or two real-actual-Indian-people Indian places, and several places that call themselves Indian but those in the know can tell it's FIJIAN.
Funny.
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Apparently the hot new thing coming to our area is Indian-Chinese restaurants. Which is basically the Chinese take-out that one can get in India, now available here for uncultured white-boys such as myself.
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I'm holding out for Slovak-Tex-Mex.
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Somebody has to invent a better notation for that - it could get very confusing.
According to the Indian woman who sits next to me the restaurants will often call themselves "fusion" but most actual people call them "Indo-Chinese."
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Apparently Turkish food is, to Germans, as Mexican is to Americans. My friend lived in Germany for five years and married a German citizen, who is constantly amazed at American food. They don't have Mexican restaurants there but I guess the Chinese is pretty much the same as it is here?
We took him to Golden Corral one time. He couldn't stop talking about how much food you could get for so little money. He'd never been to a buffet before.
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Somebody has to invent a better notation for that - it could get very confusing.
Chindian?
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We used to live near a German-Mexican restaurant in Parma. It was OK. I always thought they should have had a framed up copy of the Zimmerman telegram but no.
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they should have had a framed up copy of the Zimmerman telegram but no.
now I am going to use the acronym "QFT."
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now I am going to use the acronym "QFT."
Don't tell us, show us!