The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: theinevitable on August 01, 2007, 08:52:20 pm
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has anyone bought the Cartiledge Head poster? I am not sure what I think about it. As of right now, I am buying the "Achewood," poster, and I am debating whether to get the GOF ad or the cartiledge head poster.
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If you don't buy all three posters, the terrorists have won.
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having three (actually, four) achewood posters up in a small, 1-person dorm room...
well, I love achewood, but I also love rock music and good movies. and those posters, you know, they know how to throw their weight around.
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That's why your institution of higher learning saw fit to put a ceiling in your room.
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so simple, yet so elegant.
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Aren't boys your age supposed to put posters of scantilly clad ladies up on their ceilings, so that they can gaze at them fondly while enjoying themselves? If this is the case, I worry that Cartilage Head my effect you in a not so good way during these formative years. "Oh Jenna, yes, Jenna, now break your own mother fuckin' head Jenna!"
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Aren't boys your age supposed to put posters of scantilly clad ladies up on their ceilings, so that they can gaze at them fondly while enjoying themselves? If this is the case, I worry that Cartilage Head my effect you in a not so good way during these formative years. "Oh Jenna, yes, Jenna, now break your own mother fuckin' head Jenna!"
I might not need to know this much about him.
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no, I normally do not put pictures of scantily clad ladies on my wall/ceiling.
basically the ladies on my wall are Scarlett (http://www.impawards.com/2003/posters/lost_in_translation_ver2.jpg) and Audrey (http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/125/003_AMELIE~The-Fabulous-Destiny-of-Amelie-Poulain-Posters.jpg)
non-ladies: kurt cobain, miles davis, jimi hendrix, bob dylan
for a while after I first moved in, I constantly had dreams about Jimi Hendrix tuning his guitar (since that is what he was doing in the poster directly next to my pillow). It occurs to me that this was a sign to put the Scarlett poster there, but I enjoyed having dreams about meeting Jimi Hendrix.
I think it says something healthy (?) about me that I can't think of any other attractive females I'd like to have pictures of in my room, other than, you know, girls I know in real life. But a life-size portrait of (NAMES REMOVED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT) would just be... going too far.
Maybe I could put up pictures of everyone I know at WashU, but just make those couple of ones really big? would that work?
anyway, I bought the cartilage head and "achewood" ones.
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they can gaze at them fondly while enjoying themselves?
Don't you mean gaze at them enjoyingly while fondling themselves?
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Don't you mean gaze at them enjoyingly while fondling themselves?
Yes. I did mean that. Or I meant that too. Or, whatever.
I am filthy sometimes, is what I'm saying.
Did ever tell you folks that at around 12 I had a poster of a teen heart throb of the day on my wall, and that I would kiss it when no one was around? Is this... is this... okay?
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Did ever tell you folks that at around 12 I had a poster of a teen heart throb of the day on my wall, and that I would kiss it when no one was around? Is this... is this... okay?
Far from! It is RAD. It's pretty awesome to be excited about things. As I get on, it gets harder and harder to just be abjectly excited about things. Poster of Kirk Cameron or not.
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Here you go, Smick
(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:oK6xrzHpscaSLM:http://www.tbn.org/watch/images/programs/kirk_cameron.jpg)
Hmm, he's aging better than some child stars, that's for sure...
(http://harvardlampoon.com/uploaded_images/Bonaduce1-711283.jpg)
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Hmm, he's aging better than some child stars, that's for sure...
(http://harvardlampoon.com/uploaded_images/Bonaduce1-711283.jpg)
Yabbut Bonaduce always looked like he could be an extra in a Planet of the Apes movie without any additional makeup.
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Did ever tell you folks that at around 12 I had a poster of a teen heart throb of the day on my wall, and that I would kiss it when no one was around? Is this... is this... okay?
Smick is right there is nothing wrong with being excited about things and having a rich fantasy life rather than being resigned to the grey monotony of adulthood.
Did he stick the tongue in though?
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I just bought this poster (http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/John-Collier/Lilith-Print-C10091345.jpeg). My wife asked me to get it for her. It should be home when I get there.
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Smick is right there is nothing wrong with being excited about things and having a rich fantasy life rather than being resigned to the grey monotony of adulthood.
Did he stick the tongue in though?
No, and I was careful to wipe off any lip gloss evidence.
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Good to know, I was sure he was a gentleman.
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I just bought this poster (http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/John-Collier/Lilith-Print-C10091345.jpeg). My wife asked me to get it for her. It should be home when I get there.
ssssSmokin'
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I just bought this poster (http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/John-Collier/Lilith-Print-C10091345.jpeg). My wife asked me to get it for her. It should be home when I get there.
ssssSmokin'
Dammit you guys, stop being awesome. Sigh. Someday I will have an awesome husband who is an amalgam of all the gentlemanly awesomeness that I have witnessed on this board. And someday I hope to be half as rad as the badassed ladies of TOUAMB. It has been a wonderful time here, I must say.
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Did ever tell you folks that at around 12 I had a poster of a teen heart throb of the day on my wall, and that I would kiss it when no one was around? Is this... is this... okay?
I know a guy that owns an adult-themed store. He has a cushy, well-paying job at the airline, but he's thinking of giving it up early to devote more time to the store, which is his real moneymaker. It's located across the street from the main gate to a Naval Base, so it's pretty foolproof.
Anyway, he told us of a story about one of his regulars. He had bought a sex aid similar to that foot in the other thread, but a bit more "normal," whatever that means in this story. He came in later and told the pilot that the product was great. "In fact, I took it, and stuck it in a tennis shoe. Then I bought a Britney Spears poster, cut a slit between her legs, and laid it on top of the shoe on my bed. I fucked Britney Spears alllllll night."
So I think you're okay.
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I know a guy that owns an adult-themed store. He has a cushy, well-paying job at the airline, but he's thinking of giving it up early to devote more time to the store, which is his real moneymaker. It's located across the street from the main gate to a Naval Base, so it's pretty foolproof.
Anyway, he told us of a story about one of his regulars. He had bought a sex aid similar to that foot in the other thread, but a bit more "normal," whatever that means in this story. He came in later and told the pilot that the product was great. "In fact, I took it, and stuck it in a tennis shoe. Then I bought a Britney Spears poster, cut a slit between her legs, and laid it on top of the shoe on my bed. I fucked Britney Spears alllllll night."
So I think you're okay.
It's just like back in the old days, when you had more of a personal relationship with the fellow who ran the five-and-dime, when you went down to get your penny candy.
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I know a guy that owns an adult-themed store. He has a cushy, well-paying job at the airline, but he's thinking of giving it up early to devote more time to the store, which is his real moneymaker. It's located across the street from the main gate to a Naval Base, so it's pretty foolproof.
Anyway, he told us of a story about one of his regulars. He had bought a sex aid similar to that foot in the other thread, but a bit more "normal," whatever that means in this story. He came in later and told the pilot that the product was great. "In fact, I took it, and stuck it in a tennis shoe. Then I bought a Britney Spears poster, cut a slit between her legs, and laid it on top of the shoe on my bed. I fucked Britney Spears alllllll night."
So I think you're okay.
I should not be surprised....but that's the funniest/saddest thing I have heard today. The dude got it on with a tennis shoe, a poster, and his imagination. That takes a strange combination of gumption and desperation. Is he one of the guys who wants to get a realdoll so he can tie it up, but can't pony up enough scratch to do it?
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Golf, if there is ever a TOUAMBIE award for "Post I'm Sorriest I Read," that one definitely has my vote. And that's saying something.
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Ah, yes, kissing a poster seems so innocent now. Thank you for that.
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utter disappointment: the posters arrived crumpled into a shoebox, with wrinkles which will have to be pressed out. They are currently sitting in an unpleasant pile on my floor.
I am going to choose to interpret this as some sort of commentary on Onstad's crumplebrain.
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You should e-mail him. Every time he's addressed a customer service type issue on the board he's seemed very concerned to make things right.
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I am 90% sure I can flatten the posters out and they'll be fine-- but I am pretty set on emailing him to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else.
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My posters came folded in half within a Priority Mail rectangular box. The box had gotten rocked pretty hard by the post office, but the posters were fine. I'd shoot him an email just to let him know. I guess the free boxes are cheaper than buying mailing tubes.
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Might I recommend some Gustave Courbet (http://www.art.com/asp/sp-asp/_/PD--11721102/SP--A/IGID--1346611/The_Origin_of_the_World_1866.htm?sOrig=SCH&ui=8A283B5A0BD248479CA56C41B7391F86)? Ours is right above our bed.
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Y'know, in all seriousness, I wouldn't want a poster that'd been folded for delivery. Guess I'll go look for some Art Frahm stuff for the new workshop.
Jesus H. Christ on a pushbike, I'm retarded. I cannot seem to get anything communicated clearly, and I should not have used the term "folded" because that implies that they were creased heavily in half. This communication SNAFU has been a recurring Problem in my life lately.
They weren't folded as in creased, they were just lightly bent in half and placed inside a larger box so that they weren't bent too terribly. They were much easier to smooth out than if they had been rolled tightly in a tube.
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Thanks for triggering a google, leading to precarious celery (http://www.lileks.com/institute/frahm/art1.html)
I was previously unfamiliar with mr. Frahm and am having trouble working him into my own mental art universe.
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so, yes. I wrote a slightly curt email requesting some sort of replacement or compensation. I had to try really hard to make it not sound like "upon opening the box, I found the posters in poor condition, hardly befitting a product of such supposed quality; in fact, the wrinkles which I discovered entirely undermine my former opinion on the quality of said product" or that kind of bullshit. I am not sure why I am incapable of writing a normal email.
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so, yes. I wrote a slightly curt email requesting some sort of replacement or compensation. I had to try really hard to make it not sound like "upon opening the box, I found the posters in poor condition, hardly befitting a product of such supposed quality; in fact, the wrinkles which I discovered entirely undermine my former opinion on the quality of said product" or that kind of bullshit. I am not sure why I am incapable of writing a normal email.
Because syphilis has destroyed your brain?
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Because syphilis has destroyed your brain?
I had to read that twice to make sure I didn't post it.
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Wouldn't dan have to get laid to get syphillis?
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Thanks for triggering a google, leading to precarious celery (http://www.lileks.com/institute/frahm/art1.html)
Ah, Art Frahm. I discovered the detrimental effects of celery on under##### and James Lileks on the same glorious day.
Lileks has stopped in here a few times. He's an Achehead too. I should check up on his blog. It fell off my weekly reading list when I had my kid.
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Suprisingly Frahm didn't show up in the "Cast Porn" thread.
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hey, A-CAP, I... have gotten laid. Just... not in a long time.
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Wouldn't dan have to get laid to get syphillis?
Not necessarily. Can't it be passed on from the mother in childbirth?
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hey, A-CAP, I... have gotten laid. Just... not in a long time.
This makes my maternal side want to have A Talk with all you Young Folks to make sure you are Being Responsible.
It also makes me wonder...how long is a long time when you're nineteen? Because for me, at my age, "a long time" would be, oh, five years or so? In which case, you were getting laid by the time you were fourteen, which is a scary prospect to me given that I was fourteen the first time I kissed a boy. (I was admittedly somewhat late to bloom in this department.)
I guess your idea of "a long time" expands once you have kids. I was cleaning out my pantry in preparation for Moving Day (we are moving to the Lee of the Stone on Saturday) and my criteria for throwing things away was "is it older than my son?"
I guess this explains why my Mom has condiments in her fridge that expired in the late nineties. They don't seem so long ago when you've been married since '67, I guess. The saddest thing is, however, that she has moved house since then, so she actually brought expired condiments with her.
I've been surreptitiously throwing a few things out every time I go visit.
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yeah, um, it has been like, a year and a half. Also, I beat you-- 16! (or... 17?) for first smooch.
I mean, it is not as if I am pursuing Maximum Cuddles with random or semi-random ladies. Which... is why it has been a while.
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That is good. That is a sign of Being Responsible.
It is strange to have this public conversation with you while your real-time IM is simultaenously flashing in my taskbar.
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One of my Maximum Cuddles dreams crashed and burned recently.
I've an old friend who I spent a couple of years living with back when, and we used to fool around from time to time, so since then we've talked about having Maximum Cuddles. So we were all preparing to have MC the last time I saw her, until at one point I realized that I was just bored now and it would be really nice to crack a cold one open and have something to eat, maybe spend some time with a good book. So thats pretty much what I did. No Maximum Cuddles, and I'm glad for it.
So, the Moral of the story, kids, is that the Maximum Cuddles ain't everything, and sometimes you can make yourself way happier by letting go of the dream.
It does also help that I've started to see a rather nice lady as well ;-)
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Maximum Cuddles ain't everything
DOES NOT COMPUTE DOES NOT COMPUTE
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DOES NOT COMPUTE DOES NOT COMPUTE
Don't listen, inev!
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DOES NOT COMPUTE DOES NOT COMPUTE
Life isn't all about Maximum Cuddles. Never forget that there are also blow jobs.
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"well, that depends on what your definition of 'Maximum Cuddles' is."
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Life isn't all about Maximum Cuddles. Never forget that there are also blow jobs.
Never, ever forget.
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Awp!
reciprocation
is the key word, here.
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Awp!
reciprocation
is the key word, here.
The key here is that you ask the gentleman for your turn FIRST. Think of it as a bargaining chip of sorts. It is a rare man who will put in the effort after he's gotten his.
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The key is that it isn't a tradeoff/bargain - your man should be happy to do it, and indeed, anxious for the opportunity. Ideally, you should have to tell him to stop. (Although he should not continue until you get sore.)
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The key is that it isn't a tradeoff/bargain - your man should be happy to do it, and indeed, anxious for the opportunity. Ideally, you should have to tell him to stop. (Although he should not continue until you get sore.)
Really, just a point to the area, and a nod should suffice.
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Wait, JL you and I are around the same age... but you think a "long time" for sex is 5 years? For me, a long time is... more than a week and a half. Seriously. I'm figuring you having young 'uns factors into this heavily though. For me, as I've gotten older a "long time" has gotten shorter and shorter.
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Really, just a point to the area, and a nod should suffice.
a gentleman always offers
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My record in that department: 90 minutes. I was going to GET her to have that O, dammit.
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goddamn. That is...
I feel like any girl I've dated would have just told me to stop before that point. That...
that is such a long time.
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My record in that department: 90 minutes. I was going to GET her to have that O, dammit.
It's like you were at war with her clit.
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That's kinda how it felt.
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but you think a "long time" for sex is 5 years?
Five years: Don't you get to count as a virgin again?
Ninety minutes: Could that possibly have been enjoyable for anyone involved?
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I originally posted something in the TMI department.
Gentle men, what is the polite way for a lady to let a gentleman know it is time to move on from hors d'oeuvres to the main course?
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Slap him on the top of his head.
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**TMI WARNING**
When I was on antidepressants, I had a hard time with getting off. However, my crap dude ex-fiance soldiered on for 50 minutes one night and I finally got there. Damn. There were other times where I'd just tell him, "It's no use, babe. It's not gonna happen tonight. Sorry."
Mel, If I haven't gotten off yet but am ready to move on to the main course, I usually pull him up for a kiss and then straddle him, but I've never been one for subtlety. Alternatively, I'll get off, enjoy it for a moment, and then ask him to get a condom. That usually tells him that we're moving on right quick.
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I wish everyone had a relationship where you could just tell the other person what you want now/next. It's the only way to go.
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It's like you were at war with her clit.
HEH!!! Like your tongue was the hardboiled police interrogator, and her clit was the assassin who killed your partner?
I wish everyone had a relationship where you could just tell the other person what you want now/next. It's the only way to go.
Honesty is good...but I dunno, relationships are multilayered and most women don't want to come across as demanding or dictatorial in the sack.
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It's interesting. I've had attempts to post about this, and I keep deleting what I wrote. I am not afraid to talk about anything, but I, for some reason don't want these details out there for the world to see. Plus I have no problems, and maybe could be even said to excel in the satisfaction department. Anything I will write comes off as bragging, so I'll shut up now.
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Look, I ain't trying to brag, I'm just saying talk to your SO and try to work out a deal where you are comfortable saying "I like it when you wear the clown makeup" (for instance).
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Anything I will write comes off as bragging, so I'll shut up now.
All this talent and a sex goddess too! Dayum.
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so, to return vaguely to the topic of the original post...
let's say you are a college-aged lady. You meet this kind of cool boy, and you end up visiting his room-- not for maximum cuddles, just, say, to get a homework assignment.
upon entering, you realize that his walls are entirely covered with posters. small posters, big posters, horizontal posters, tall posters...
VS
you enter the room, and find that he has tastefully put out a few posters in well-chosen spots.
which is better? what I'm saying is, which one of these situations would lead to the boy later posting on this thread in response to Mel's question, for instance.
this is not really a serious question. I know that the 2nd one is theoretically better, but that the first one might be cool too?
I am just having a problem choosing which posters to put up, is the issue. Plus, they always have really cool ones on sale at school...
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The first one is cooler, because she would be more likely to find a poster to talk to you about, and vice-versa. If you can't have a nice conversation with a lady about Cartilege Head, I weep for you.
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hm.
now I thought of the one time I saw a wall like that, and I am reconsidering.
But, I mean, how do I choose!?
Amelie or The Smiths? London Calling or The Ramones? Lost in Translation or Sonic Youth?
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All this talent and a sex goddess too! Dayum.
No, no, I just... the ladies that I am friends with don't like hearing that the problems they like to think "everyone woman" has about sex don't actually apply to every women. I figured out pretty quickly that I am the exception to the rule.
I was once at a foregin ambassador's mansion with a bunch of other lady artists, and I swear to god, his wife was the same age as my mom and looked just like Catherine O'Hara, and I think maybe she was drunk... but she was going on about how "it's not fair, you artists get to travel, and have great food and have the best sex lives..." and all the other lady artists were like "oh, no... my sex life is bad because... blah, blah, blah.." I was already very giraffe-out-of-water because this was my first experience of rich people using me as personal entertainment and expecting witty banter... so I sat there quietly staring into my wild mushroom espresso... and eventually my silence was noted, and everyone was looking at me, and I basically had to disagree with everyone at the table, because damn if I'm going to lie to fit in, and my personal experience has nothing to do with dissatisfaction, and then there was a sort of silent disapproval and a table full of people telling me "oh, you're young though. That'll change." And then I'm all "no, I figured out how to get what I need pretty early on, and I don't see that changing..." And then the main course was served and no one wanted to talk to me much.
I suppose there is something in being overtly intelligent, cynical, bespecticled, book-read, sarcastic, etc. that is equated with being unsatisfied all round. But this is one a couple parts of my life that doesn't fit the archetype, and ladies are made uneasy by that.
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hm.
now I thought of the one time I saw a wall like that, and I am reconsidering.
But, I mean, how do I choose!?
Amelie or The Smiths? London Calling or The Ramones? Lost in Translation or Sonic Youth?
Just make sure that Ed Gein has prominent placement.
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most women don't want to come across as demanding or dictatorial in the sack.
I've always liked a bit of demanding, it's nice to feel wanted.
Amelie or The Smiths? London Calling or The Ramones? Lost in Translation or Sonic Youth?
Amelie, London Calling and Sonic Youth.
I'm too young to have been into the Smiths and the Ramones so I'm sick of seeing people younger than me wearing the shirts and shit.
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I've always liked a bit of demanding, it's nice to feel wanted.
That is true. Nabu, you are right. Honesty is good.
Mel, that's a crazy story about the foreign ambassador's wife. And the other guests - yikes. "Sorry, bitches, but just 'cuz you have shitty, unfulfilling sex lives doesn't mean I have to. I'm off to enjoy my healthy, loving relationship. Have fun being dried up, and enjoy your frigidity while your husbands bang their secretaries. I will never, ever be in your shoes. Have a nice life."
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Maybe some fellas don't like girls to be dictatorial in the sack (although some obviously love that sort of thing), but early on in a relationship it doesn't hurt to ask "Do you like it when someone does... THIS?" as you insert a fist somewhere, etc.
I mean, just basic communication will make things so much better than just plodding along hoping that the other person likes what you're doing and tolerating what they're doing to you without opening your mouth.
Believe me, it'll be far less stressful to bring it up early on rather than to flip over the dining room table in a rage and shout "You never touch my balls when you're giving me head. And honey, the blow job doesn't start until AFTER I've come!" when she asks you to pass the salt.
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so, I just recieved an email from Mrs. Liz Onstad herself informing me that replacements are on the way, and they are sorry for the damage. NICE.
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Mr Ze Frank has commented that most college sex seems to consist of
"I... what do you like? tell me what you like, and I will do it."
"no, what do you like? I will do whatever, babe, it's ok."
"so... you don't know what you're doing either?"
"um... no. I don't."
"oh, um, let's do it "doggystyle" again!"
"yeah! rad!"
That was a pretty good bit.
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I just want to say that this has to be the best thread ever.
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Mr Ze Frank has commented that most college sex seems to consist of
"I... what do you like? tell me what you like, and I will do it."
"no, what do you like? I will do whatever, babe, it's ok."
"so... you don't know what you're doing either?"
"um... no. I don't."
"oh, um, let's do it "doggystyle" again!"
"yeah! rad!"
That was a pretty good bit.
My college sex seems to consist mostly of giving young women earth shattering orgasms and sometimes ropes.
Also, Ze Frank was a funny guy. He should not have quit the internet thing. Luckily, he still does some professor work at A-CAP.
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Wait, JL you and I are around the same age... but you think a "long time" for sex is 5 years? For me, a long time is... more than a week and a half. Seriously. I'm figuring you having young 'uns factors into this heavily though. For me, as I've gotten older a "long time" has gotten shorter and shorter.
Okay, no. "A long time" for sex is...a couple of days? But we are people in long-term relationships where sex is assumed and available. For single people who are unwilling to engage in coitus without some kind of mutual affection and commitment, a year and a half doesn't seem so bad? I had a friend who went without for four years in his early twenties. When he finally did get a blowjob, the girl turned out to be an underage prostitute (although she didn't blow him as a client; they worked together at a restaurant so they were friends outside of her "professional" capacity). But I guess "a long time" is more relative to the thing you have been waiting for, and less a function of the age of the waiter.
As for how to let a gentleman know when to quit, I've always found that pulling him up by the hair and screaming "fuck me! fuck me now!" is fairly effective.
Also, smells -- it's okay. Being multi-orgasmic is nothing to be ashamed of. We can start a club together. (I suspect this is your deep dark secret that sounds like bragging. It can be both a blessing and a curse, when you have a gent who is fond of statistics.)
If this continues, I'm going to split this into the TMI Sex Thread. I'd hate to have anyone traumatized who is just looking for information on posters.
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If this continues, I'm going to split this into the TMI Sex Thread. I'd hate to have anyone traumatized who is just looking for information on posters.
Noooo!!! It's so perfect the way it is!
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I'd hate to have anyone traumatized who is just looking for information on posters.
We've got those type of people here??
I do agree with you about different meanings of a long time though. While the goings can be pretty plentiful when you're at university, I've found that as I've hit my late twenties, the sex is so much better when there's a connection as well. Its more fulfilling, more about pleasing each other than just about releasing the urges y'know.
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Noooo!!! It's so perfect the way it is!
I'll leave it alone just for you, Wommie.
Also out of laziness.
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I'm kind of hoping that the thread will work its way back to the original topic by way of discussing the availability of posters depicting JL and SideShow having sex.
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I'm kind of hoping that the thread will work its way back to the original topic by way of discussing the availability of posters depicting JL and SideShow having sex.
With who?
I'm hoping the answer is "linnea."
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I'm kind of hoping that the thread will work its way back to the original topic by way of discussing the availability of posters depicting JL and SideShow having sex.
With who?
I'm hoping the answer is "linnea."
Hott!
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JL knows my secret. We are in a secret club together. There is a handshake.
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JL knows my secret. We are in a secret club together. There is a handshake.
I'm just mentally going to put handshake in quotation marks and assume it actually involves smooches.
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JL knows my secret. We are in a secret club together. There is a handshake.
Hells yes, ladies. Can I be part of the club too?? Tiny cans all around.
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Education.
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From the guys side of the lake, that secret thing is fun.
Are multiple orgasms a secret now? Was our gender not meant to know about that? I always just thought of it as being polite.
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Are multiple orgasms a secret now? Was our gender not meant to know about that? I always just thought of it as being polite.
I've only been with one person where the multiple orgasm thing happened. I don't know what it was about him, but it was god damned magical. We broke up in January. I'm hoping that it wasn't just related to him specifically and that it can be recreated outside the laboratory, so to speak.
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Its pretty good for guys as well, even if it does require some practice.
Three hours, three times, no break. Afterwards it was about an hour before I could move again, that shit is tiring.
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I have become known, in some circles (i.e. my fiancee), as "double-shot Scott." In my humble opinion, though, when it comes to multiple orgasms, it's better to give than to receive.
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My problem is that when Pedro and I discovered that I was capable of such a thing, he suddenly decided that number of my Os = his manliness index. Which is fun for a little while, but at some point I want to go to sleep.
This really is too much information. I should not be saying this. Consider yourself warned.
This was less of a problem early in our marriage, when I averaged three to five in a session but our sessions generally lasted two hours. Now that we are limited to late-night, early-morning, or Sunday-naptime "quickies" (for us a quickie is thirty minutes or less), I usually go twice but it is sort of a burden for both of us that he considers it a letdown if I only have one. We had to come to an agreement.
Part of this is that the quality has improved, and while I certainly don't mind the resultant decline in quantity, this doesn't satisfy the male need to keep score. I have to keep reminding him that my best friend, along with hundreds of thousands of other women, doesn't ever have even one during sex. This is not a reflection on his prowess, but rather my physiology, so he should be neither proud when I have multiples nor disappointed when I only have one.
Sometimes, ladies, you've got to take your gent's ego down a peg. For the preservation of the species.
Smells is right. This does sound like less like a problem, and more like bragging. But given the apparent prevalence of this "condition" among the ladies and gents of this board, and the ladies and gents of our members, I felt it was necessary to make this PSA. There are no volume discounts on orgasms. Please use them responsibly.
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Os = his manliness index.
What? This is how it works right?
not a reflection on his prowess, but rather my physiology, so he should be neither proud when I have multiples nor disappointed when I only have one.
Lies! The burden is on us, as is the glory!
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Part of this is that the quality has improved, and while I certainly don't mind the resultant decline in quantity, this doesn't satisfy the male need to keep score. I have to keep reminding him that my best friend, along with hundreds of thousands of other women, doesn't ever have even one during sex. This is not a reflection on his prowess, but rather my physiology, so he should be neither proud when I have multiples nor disappointed when I only have one.
Obviously there's some truth to that, but I feel like it's a bit of an oversimplification. In some cases, for instance, the same person may have none, one, or multiples depending on the partner (see linnea's post), so while it may be a reflection of your physiology, the partner's contribution shouldn't be completely discounted. I'm not saying that makes them a better person or anything, or that quantity is the most important factor, but some sex is clearly better than others, and that's affected primarily by whom you're having it with and what they do. Otherwise you might as well just stick to masturbation.
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True, the partner's role is important -- but when you've been with the same partner exclusively for ten years, you have to conclude that variations are less the result of variations in technique and more the result of a changing physiology -- especially through two pregnancies. And honestly, if I'm satisfied and he's still plugging away, determined to "beat his record," it seems like at that point we've crossed the line and are no longer having good sex.
Yeah, I said it.
Fortunately, we had a talk and that kind of thing hasn't happened in a while.
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Ahhh, the delicate nature of men's sexual psychology... it is our curse.
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so, what you're saying is to not worry about how many orgasms the lady has. That makes it so much easier!
It's so nice to have it broken down simply like this!
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On that note, this particular Savage Love column, specifically the first letter, is one of his better efforts (and that's saying something).
http://www.avclub.com/content/node/63979
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While you're fuck*ng your girlfriend, the most sensitive part of your cock—the head—is getting direct, intense stimulation. But the most sensitive part of her sex organs—her clit—apparently isn't getting any, or isn't getting enough, direct, intense stimulation.
I have repeatedly cited this as proof against intelligent design.
also: So, TLB, it could be that the positions you're fuck*ng in don't provide direct stimulation to your girlfriend's clit
my friend suggested that this was possible, and we laughed at him. now I'm thinking... research. THERE MUST BE A WAY. Although based on... research... a lot of these positons seem... painful. I will not go into detail here, but, some pretty fundamental questions are raised.
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While you're fuck*ng your girlfriend, the most sensitive part of your cock—the head—is getting direct, intense stimulation. But the most sensitive part of her sex organs—her clit—apparently isn't getting any, or isn't getting enough, direct, intense stimulation.
Depends on how you do it. Ms. Nabu likes to get on top, providing her with a great deal of clitoral stimulation. Why, just moments ago . . . sorry, never mind.
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Depends on how you do it.
This is most certainly true.
Failing that, vibrating cock rings. They make them for a reason, people.
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This is most certainly true.
Failing that, vibrating cock rings. They make them for a reason, people.
oh...intimate times... I probably should have read the box.
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My problem is that when Pedro and I discovered that I was capable of such a thing, he suddenly decided that number of my Os = his manliness index. Which is fun for a little while, but at some point I want to go to sleep.
For this to be an index, it has to be indexed against something. I think a sample size of all the guys on this board should be sufficient to set a baseline.
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Okay, but I'll require photos. With rulers.
Disclaimer: please do not post photos of your cocks here.
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This thread wins most ridiculous/best thread redirection award. Congratulations, thread.
I'd like to thank all the people who made this possible, especially Jesus.
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Disclaimer: please do not post photos of your cocks here.
Considering what we're indexing wouldn't signed missives from former partners be more appropriate?
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Here I was wondering what was so goddamn interesting about the posters that had you people talking for eight pages.
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Here I was wondering what was so goddamn interesting about the posters that had you people talking for eight pages.
Are you implying that Achewood posters are aren't awesome enough by themselves??
Edited because are and aren't are not the same word
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Welcome to the party, Ben. You're fashionably late. ;)
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Okay, but I'll require photos. With rulers.
Disclaimer: please do not post photos of your cocks here.
I may be wrong, but I don't think that's what the Dawg was getting at.
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I may be wrong, but I don't think that's what the Dawg was getting at.
Not wrong.
The sample population is what it is. She'll just have to close her eyes and think of England.
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Not wrong.
The sample population is what it is. She'll just have to close her eyes and think of England.
The thought of a TOUAMB gang bang just made me throw up in my mouth a little. Sorry, but that's pretty wrong.
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The thought of a TOUAMB gang bang just made me throw up in my mouth a little. Sorry, but that's pretty wrong.
No, it's ok. See, we'd all show up with that intention but within 5 or 10 minutes we'd get sidetracked and be talking about and doing something completely different.
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No, it's ok. See, we'd all show up with that intention but within 5 or 10 minutes we'd get sidetracked and be talking about and doing something completely different.
Like buying posters.
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Like buying posters.
Aaaaaand that's a wrap.
Locked.