The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Arts & Entertainment => Topic started by: Golfhaus on January 16, 2008, 12:36:30 am
-
The Discovery Health Channel vanishes next year (http://tv.yahoo.com/show/28479/news/urn:newsml:tv.ap.org:20080116:tv_oprah_channel__ER:403;_ylt=AmJci.swRt0QcAf7pwofz2KAo9EF) as Discovery Communications shuts it down to make room on the dial for... OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. My wife will be losing all of her shows about babies being born so that we can see Dr. Phil Saves The Celebrities or something. I'm not sure if this will dampen her desire to pop out the kids, or if the withdrawal will make it worse.
I know this, though. No one around here wants to watch more Oprah than we already do. Which is none.
-
Speaking of Discovery fuck*ng things up, here's most of a press release that I got recently. I find this a very ominous sign for my entertainment habits. Except... a whole show about lemurs? But a stupid show about lemurs... that might be worse than nothing.
(Silver Spring, Md., January 14, 2007) – When Animal Planet relaunches in the first week of February, 2008, viewers will find compelling programming that features man’s best friend juxtaposed with ferocious lions in their natural habitat. The way the stories are told and the lens through which viewers see these tales will change dramatically. The network will launch eight new series and specials in February alone, all designed to reach a more adult audience with gripping entertainment rather than pure observational documentary and host-driven formats. The new Animal Planet will also be expressed through new graphics, a new feel and new sounds that bring out the raw, visceral emotion in the animal kingdom – all leading viewers to see animals as characters not merely creatures.
The new programming on Animal Planet will tap into the instincts that drive us all – fear, hunger, pleasure, nurture – with compelling stories that resonate with what it means to be human. New content coming to the network includes new docu-soaps (ESCAPE TO CHIMP EDEN, LEMUR KINGDOM); pet entertainment (PETFINDER, GROOMER HAS IT, CLINICALLY WILD); and unscripted dramas (WHALE WARS, AFTER THE ATTACK, A YEAR WITH LIONS), as well as the return of PUPPY BOWL, the AKC/EUKANUBA NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP and MUTUAL OF OMAHA’S WILD KINGDOM.
“In an increasingly technological, rational, pressured, thoughtful and well-socialized environment, there is an enormous desire for unmediated, intensely felt, visceral, in-the-moment experiences” notes Marjorie Kaplan, president and general manager of Animal Planet Media. “And animals, in real life and in great, archetypical stories, are a short cut to those instinctual feelings. In a world of intellectual or clever television or lightweight entertainment, Animal Planet is television that gets you where you live - literally - in your gut.”
“Consumers will be surprised at the unexpected new face of entertainment we’re bringing to them on-air and online,” added Victoria Lowell, senior vice president of marketing for Animal Planet Media. “The new campaign will change consumers’ perceptions of our brand. There is so much goodwill to the brand, and now we’ve got to translate that goodwill to increased viewership.”
-
The tragic side effect of Meerkat Manor is the poorly done knock-offs of the idea.
-
All of those titles do not sound like titles of television shows.
They sound like titles of television shows... in a television show... so as to make fun of how bad most television show titles are. "Escape to Chimp Eden"? "Groomer Has It"?
It is as if the stick my Cremesicle came on is making run of the television.
-
We were hooked on Meerkat Manor until this past season, when every damn episode featured The Grueling Death of Something Cute. Mrs. Haus could barely watch the shows any more because she knew someone was going to get eaten. And each time, I told her, "They won't do it again, honey." But they did. Oh, they did. Baby meerkats getting eaten, long drawn-out shot of the pup's severed arm, all that was left. The matriarch of the family, dead from a snake bite protecting her younguns. The outcast daughter, left by her family to fend for herself, finally finding companionship with another, only to be mauled that night by a hyena in a scene that only needed that Goo Goo Dolls song to play to be complete. We have two shows left on our DVR - they've been sitting there for months. She doesn't have the heart to watch.
-
Well, there's the bright side for the Haus family - probably no one will be mauled to death by hyenas on the Oprah network.
-
All we can do is dream, wombat. All we can do is dream.
-
I am intrigued by this theory that a supremely bad thing can only get worse if a Goo Goo Dolls song is also playing, Mr. Haus. I'm rolling it over in my head and it's making a lot of sense.
Kicked in the crotch or kicked in the crotch and also a Goo Goo Dolls song playing? The second is worse.
Hindenberg disaster or Hindenberg disaster and also a Goo Goo Dolls song playing? The second is worse.
You might just have an Internet Meme on your hands. Granted, it will eventually get tasteless as hell with people putting 9/11 footage or Holocaust footage to Goo Goo Dolls music but... until then, we could totally enjoy the ride until then.
It would be like PLEASE, DO NOT MENTION THAT HERE or Mr. T Ate My Balls... the kids would just call it "EWWG"... "everything's worse with Goo".
-
It would be like PLEASE, DO NOT MENTION THAT HERE or Mr. T Ate My Balls... the kids would just call it "EWWG"... "everything's worse with Goo".
Huh. Wonder what that is... All Your Base Are Belong To Us? Dancing Baby? Hampster Dance? None of these?
I would love to start an Internet meme, though. "Well I'd give up forever, to touch you..." <shot of that rally car running into the crowd> "cuz I know that you'll feel me somehow" <footage of a nanny slapping a crying child>.
-
This all sounds made up. I have decided this is all made up. It's imaginary. Just like the thread about sports: not real. TV is dying anyway, so I suppose if I just ignore it it will go away.
-
Oh yeah, very soon they'd be putting Goo music to "don't tase me, bro" and all the other internet memes and it would quickly become a meta-meme... piggy backing onto other past memes that people are already nostalgic for so as to keep moving forward.
There is no word for this but I shall make one up.
It shall "memetasticize".
-
Bananaphone? 2 Girls 1 Cup? Goatse? Dammit, what was it?
LFM, I fear you may have just predicted the death of the Internet. Or the means Ingsoc will use to rise to and maintain its power. And my hands... have the Internet's blood on their... uh... hands.
-
Oh yeah, very soon they'd be putting Goo music to "don't tase me, bro" and all the other internet memes and it would quickly become a meta-meme... piggy backing onto other past memes that people are already nostalgic for so as to keep moving forward.
There is no word for this but I shall make one up.
It shall "memetasticize".
Like the episode of Ask a Ninja where he interviews the woman from LonelyGirl15.
I'm really worried about the new show following Mythbusters, which is basically Blowing Shit Up with Slo-Mo Replays. And Mythbusters is already about halfway to being that show as it is.
-
Like the episode of Ask a Ninja where he interviews the woman from LonelyGirl15.
Yup. A perfect example of internet virals memetasticizing into the early stages of cancer of the irony.
-
I'm really worried about the new show following Mythbusters, which is basically Blowing Shit Up with Slo-Mo Replays. And Mythbusters is already about halfway to being that show as it is.
Yeah, it looks like a show where they decided that the minor educational component of Mythbusters was too much and they had to get rid of it. Same as what the Animal Planet deal is sounding like.
-
There is no word for this but I shall make one up.
It shall "memetasticize".
And for that startlingly brilliant contribution to our lexicon...
...you shall be can'onized.
Also, Pedro saw a license plate yesterday (on a vehicle parked outside his office, of all places) that read 2GRLS1CP.
Why?
-
I thought the car I see frequently with "SUDO" was geeky, but damn.
The SOs parents recently moved to South Carolina and both ended up with plates that say ###-WTF, which is pretty neat.
Also, I demand a PLEASE, DO NOT MENTION THAT HERE version of 2 girls 1 cup.
-
I saw a picture of a car with Virginia plates that read BUKKAKE. Now that's making a statement about yourself.
-
I saw a picture of a car with Virginia plates that read BUKKAKE. Now that's making a statement about yourself.
HAAAAA!!! OMG, how on earth did they get that through the DMV? That's bloody hilarious. I wonder if the DMV can retroactively cancel a vanity plate?? You know that some kid out there has "GOATSE" or something.
-
They can. In the mid-90's it was on the news that two women had plates that said LESBIAN and the DMV recalled them. The women protested that they were approved and had been on their car for months. But the DMV had gotten complaints from people that were "offended" and said the approval was an oversight, &c, &c.
-
I clicked thinking "Oprah, this is going to be boring." Boy was I wrong.
Memetasticize, that's brilliant.
Goo Goo Dolls.
Also, I want to see the show where they blow shit up in slow motion.
-
Also, I want to see the show where they blow shit up in slow motion.
It premiers tonight, after an all-new Mythbusters! Only on Discovery! Honestly I can't even remember the name. Something Squad?
-
Smash Lab, I think?
In my head, I can't picture it as being anything other than "Dumber Mythbusters" but I'm pretty sure it's Smash Lab.
Whether they're smashing a yellow lab or a chocolate lab or a meth lab, though, I'm not sure.
Here's hoping "meth lab", certainly.
-
One of the students here got Stugotz as his license plate. I am totally jealous. Its the name of tony soprano's boat and translates basically as "This Cock"
-
They can. In the mid-90's it was on the news that two women had plates that said LESBIAN and the DMV recalled them. The women protested that they were approved and had been on their car for months. But the DMV had gotten complaints from people that were "offended" and said the approval was an oversight, &c, &c.
To be fair, the plate in question said "2 DYKES," which, although they meant it in a fun, positive way, could rub some a bit badly.
Virginia's not good about pre-screening the vanity plates. They let a guy have a plate that said "ZYKLON B" on it (Zyklon B being the gas the Nazis used to kill Jews during the Holocaust) until someone noticed and complained. The man that owned the plates was a Holocaust denier who had served time for racially motivated crimes before.
Both are mentioned here (http://scholar.lib.vt.edu/VA-news/VA-Pilot/issues/1997/vp970513/05130287.htm).
Libertarianhaus says let people get whatever they want. If you want to get something racist and asinine as a plate, go for it. But don't go whining when someone slashes your tires and bashes your windshield in. I knew a guy (also in Virginia, natch) who had a plate that said "H8 GZUS." I asked if it ever frightened him what people would do in retribution. His response: "I hope someone trashes my car. I hate this piece of shit, and I could use the insurance to get a better one."
-
Damn. And I was too nervous to ever even put on my "You lost, get over it" sticker with the crossed out confederate flag on it.
-
I put a "Militant Agnostic: I don't know and you don't either" bumper sticker on my car a week before the wedding of my high school best friend. She was marrying a Greek dude in the Greek Orthodox church. I parked that sumbitch way the hell out there. I don't need no three hundred Greeks getting pissed off at me.
-
Damn. And I was too nervous to ever even put on my "You lost, get over it" sticker with the crossed out confederate flag on it.
My favorite thing was always that the guys with Confederate Flag t-shirts, bumper stickers, etc. were the guys who told me that I must hate america and love terrorists.
-
Damn. And I was too nervous to ever even put on my "You lost, get over it" sticker with the crossed out confederate flag on it.
Yeah, despite my Pat-like love of bumper stickers (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08312005), the only ones I've ever had the stones to put on my car are (currently) Fire/EMS decals. I opted against getting Italian Heritage license plates because I didn't want pissed off AIM Activists thinking that I support the retarded Columbus Day Parade debacle. I don't want to make my car a target for some asshole with a political agenda. However, seeing some of the heinous, assholish antiabortion bumper stickers has certainly made me rethink my position.
-
Recently my childhood friend came home from Iraq and I got a call that people were meeting up with him for some drinks. I was halfway to my car when I realized I was wearing my "I liked you better before you sold out" t-shirt and realized it might appear to be in bad taste.
I've always wanted a "Your god sucks" sticker but I know I'd never have the stones to use it.
-
However, seeing some of the heinous, assholish antiabortion bumper stickers has certainly made me rethink my position.
I'm pro-life* and most of those offend me.
*Disclaimer: I think abortion is generally a Bad Thing but I think reversing Roe v. Wade is not the way to eliminate it. I think that we need to minimize to the greatest extent possible the circumstances which lead women to become unintentionally pregnant, including providing reliable, low-cost or free birth control to teenagers. I also think that the women I know personally who have terminated pregnancies were victims, not criminals, and should be protected under the law, not persecuted by it. So in a strict sense I'm pro-life, but try not to hold that against me.
-
I learned from my mother that men shouldn't pretend to have an opinion on the matter. I'll never know what its like to be pregnant by choice, accident, or crime and I won't pretend I do.
-
That's a bit unfair. I have an opinion on the matter. I've donated to NARAL in the past. I probably will again.
What I find a bit more unfair is the tendency for legislation on the matter to be voted upon by august bodies made up mostly of old rich white men, the demographic least likely to find itself involved in contemplating such a decision.
U.S. out of my uterus!... or, uh, hers.
-
Any minute I'm expecting wombat to stick her head in here and implore us to not discuss Such Issues. Really, it's a discussion that isn't really fit for polite company. Except when I'm in the company of all-choice friends.
-
Unless I am missing something, that is completely wrong, and nothing, nothing, makes me madder then a woman telling me that I can't have an opinion over that. Uh, you know, that baby didn't come from nowhere. I don't care what your opinion is (to some extent) but I mean, it takes two. That is all I am saying. (this was to A-CAP, linnea is right probably, but, well, I already typed.)
Also, re:bumper stickers- I would not be afraid to put a bumper sticker on my car, but I think it is about the worst way we as a species have devised to communicate. The only bumper stickers I have ever had were a Dean 04 (in OK that is pretty bad) and a "If you think it is hard to put on a condom try it with paws. Have your pets spayed and neutered" that I got from the vet I worked at. Edit agian- That actually tied together the topics, so there is that.
Edit: Linnea- Bill Hicks joke that I don't want to be responsible for.
-
my car at home has a "Washington University in St Louis" sticker.
if I had one here, I would put a KWUR 90.3 FM sticker on it. but I don't have a car, so.
-
Whats great about the debate, however, is that all of us agree that GWB fucked up. Personally, Im looking forward to the movies and documentaries about just how ridiculous this whole disgrace was.
-
Eggxactly
-
Any minute I'm expecting wombat to stick her head in here and implore us to not discuss Such Issues. Really, it's a discussion that isn't really fit for polite company. Except when I'm in the company of all-choice friends.
I'm just wondering how the hell we got here from a discussion of Meerkat Manor.
-
I'm just wondering how the hell we got here from a discussion of Meerkat Manor.
At least this thread stayed away from breast-size and pubic hair preferences. For now.
-
At least this thread stayed away from breast-size and pubic hair preferences. For now.
Didn't you hear about Discovery's other new show?
-
Didn't you hear about Discovery's other new show?
They test the buoyancy of various sizes and densities of breasts. Plus the aerodynamics of pubic hair. Episode 2 is saline vs. silicone.
-
They test the buoyancy of various sizes and densities of breasts. Plus the aerodynamics of pubic hair. Episode 2 is saline vs. silicone.
I wonder if the Olympic swimmers shave? Mmmm, the games are almost here!
-
Also, re:bumper stickers- I would not be afraid to put a bumper sticker on my car, but I think it is about the worst way we as a species have devised to communicate. The only bumper stickers I have ever had were a Dean 04 (in OK that is pretty bad) and a "If you think it is hard to put on a condom try it with paws. Have your pets spayed and neutered" that I got from the vet I worked at. Edit agian- That actually tied together the topics, so there is that.
You get a can for that because I am in complete agreement. I would not be afraid to put any bumper sticker on my car, but bumper stickers suck so I don't put them on my car. I did put one on a my friends truck (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/326448347/).
Here's (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/504792752/) a car with bumper stickers I like.
-
Here's (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/504792752/) a car with bumper stickers I like.
I especially like the Jesus pinwheel design:
(http://www.fotolode.com/thumbs/jaydub/jcpinwheel.jpg)
-
I've always wanted to make one of those Jesus giraffe except with a giant fin and it says "Jaws" in the middle of it. Yet another million-dollar novelty invention of mine wasted by my utter lack of production resources.
-
And some cutesy window decals portraying the members of your family (works best on a minivan) in various stages of eated-ness.
-
And some cutesy window decals portraying the members of your family (works best on a minivan) in various stages of eated-ness.
Oh Hells Yes.
-
Animal Planet will always be the Steve Irwin channel, and there's nothing they can do to stop that. Sorry, Animal Planet.
-
I've always wanted to make one of those Jesus giraffe except with a giant fin and it says "Jaws" in the middle of it. Yet another million-dollar novelty invention of mine wasted by my utter lack of production resources.
Someone beat you to it (http://valiante.plugnpay.com/cgi-bin/SoftCart.exe/scstore/p-93-CP.html?L+scstore+mkds3229ffd4f3d4+1200910409)- I saw one of these one on a car a couple years ago - it was eating something, but I don't remember what...
-
I posted my old bumper stickers, including 'What the HELL people' in another thread. The new car? Not a sticker, ever. Neat and clean.
-
I posted my old bumper stickers, including 'What the HELL people' in another thread. The new car? Not a sticker, ever. Neat and clean.
What is your new car? Did you ever get rid of the Silverado?
-
What is your new car? Did you ever get rid of the Silverado?
(http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a274/Nabubrush/mazdarx8rear.jpg)
Except mine has a rear spoiler, a wind deflector for the sun roof, and all the little rotary accents. Also I don't park it on the beach.
-
Except mine has a rear spoiler, a wind deflector for the sun roof, and all the little rotary accents. Also I don't park it on the beach.
You have a car that is basically an engineering masterpiece that I respect a lot. The rx7 and rx8 rotary engines are amazing little guys.
-
(http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a274/Nabubrush/mazdarx8rear.jpg)
Except mine has a rear spoiler, a wind deflector for the sun roof, and all the little rotary accents. Also I don't park it on the beach.
It is... beautiful. Damn. I love that color, too. Great choice!
-
It is... beautiful. Damn. I love that color, too. Great choice!
Thankee, Ma'am. Rides cheerfully provided upon request.
-
This (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55902818@N00/2210151686/) is my license plate.
-
On Saturday the SO and I were out and saw a plate that said PHKIT on a big, immaculatly clean truck.
The SO said "what's a PH Kit?" and I breifly thought of my aquariums PH test kit, but then I said "Fuck it."
I wonder how he got away with getting such a plate - they've clearly banned all the really fun words.
-
I couldn't find the thread, but I swear I've told you guys before about the plate my friend saw in Greensboro one time.
It was parked in a Pizza Hut parking lot, and it said:
ANUSTART
-
I couldn't find the thread, but I swear I've told you guys before about the plate my friend saw in Greensboro one time.
It was parked in a Pizza Hut parking lot, and it said:
ANUSTART
I would wait to see whose that was, certainly.
-
(http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a274/Nabubrush/mazdarx8rear.jpg)
Except mine has a rear spoiler, a wind deflector for the sun roof, and all the little rotary accents. Also I don't park it on the beach.
My freshmen year of college someone had one of those. We would get high and look at it, and my car friend always tried to explain to me how it worked.
Bad ass is what I am saying.
-
ANUSTART
It took me a little bit to realise what the joke was because I immediately read it as 'A New Start' I wonder how long after they go it someone pointed out the other interpretation...
Also Nabu's car proves he is James Bond.
-
My freshmen year of college someone had one of those. We would get high and look at it, and my car friend always tried to explain to me how it worked.
Bad ass is what I am saying.
Possibly the coolest thing on wikipedia, ever. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wankel_engine#How_it_works)
-
I saw a photo of a Florida license plate that was A55 RGY. But it had a big orange in the middle, so it looked like
A55 ORGY
-
I saw a photo of a Florida license plate that was A55 RGY. But it had a big orange in the middle, so it looked like
A55 ORGY
True (http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/license.asp). And it was even one of the randomly assigned ones.
-
there were, for a while, a lot of randomly-assigned license plates that started with "SXY"
my friends and I always got a chuckle out of those.
-
When my sister was 12 or 13 or so, she had a crush on the 16 or 17 year old bagger at the Food Lion. He had a randomly assigned Virginia plate that said BOY 666.
-
My youngest brother has said a few times he'd like a black panel van with tinted windows and a plate that says "D8RAPE". It probably wouldn't make it past the censors though
-
If I'd thought of it a while back, I'd have gotten "21JAN09" as my plate. It has a short shelf life right now, though.