The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: side_show on April 10, 2008, 10:21:31 pm
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Dear Mom who called me to complain about the letter I sent home with each student reminding them of the banning of beans, nuts and products containing beans or nuts from the reception after your child's performance.
Fuck you. Seriously, go fuck yourself. Like it says in the letter, several of our students have sever, fatal, allergies to these items. Several. Several means more than one or two or three or four or five. Several. Did you realize you were an insensitive bitch when I explained to you that two of our students had to go to the hospital, and could have died from whatever exposure they had to their allergins outside our building in the last year? Could you tell I wanted to reach through the phone and gouge you in the eye when you snickered when I suggested you bring fruit or veggetables if you weren't sure what might be safe to bring? Were you embarrassed when you complained that you were having trouble reading labels and I suggested you ask someone at the store to help you read them? Were you as embarrassed as I was for you when I explained that you could simply not bring anything if you found this too difficult to figure out?
Do you know what I liked best about you, Mom-who-is-teaching-her-child-to-be-a-selgiraffe-ass? I liked how you explicitly told me you had "accidentally" bought Oreo Cakesters for your child to share at the reception without reading the label, but now realized they contained ingredients that are poisen to some of our students, then you asked me what you were supposed to do with them. I love how I said you need to keep them at home, and that since you are lucky enough to have a child who will not die of exposure to soy or nuts, that I'm sure your child will enjoy them. I like how even though we had this conversation, that your child brought these very Oreo Cakesters to the program the next day and gave them out during a break when no one was supposed to be eating anything. I like how on the label it clearly says they contain soy and that they are made on equipment that processes peanuts and tree nuts. I like how you managed to send a single product that contained all three of the allergens that nearly killed two other students. And that one of those students was in your child's class.
I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to have a child, and slowly build of his tolerance to arsenic. Then I'm going to send him to your child's lunch room at school with a bag full of arsenic coated Oreo Ratsters for lunch. And maybe while my kid and yours are laughing and having fun, my kid might sprinkle some of his arsenic on your kids food by accident, or his arsenic covered hands might touch some of your child's food, or maybe he'll even be generous enough to share his Ratsters with your son. I mean, why shouldn't my child enjoy his arsenic treats just because your child hasn't built up a tolerance to arsenic?
In closing,
Fuck you, you are shit.
Sincerely,
Me
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Yeah, fuck this bitch.
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side show ain't fuckin' around!
You need a tee-shirt that points this out, I think.
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So moron, selgiraffe bitch, or moronic selgiraffe bitch?
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How bad a person am I, if this thread makes me wish that more people would be assholes when Smells is around, thus inspiring her to more such heights of messageboard posting?
I am sorry.
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Or more simply:
"These Tits Ain't Fuckin' Around".
That works as well.
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Cunt her in the bastard.
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That is hells of lame.
For Pete's sake. It's one thing to be enough of an ass to say to a parent whose child has been diagnosed with something like ADHD or autism, "well, that kind of thing is over-diagnosed, I'm sure he's fine." (Yes, people say this.) I even know people who roll their eyes at the idea of peanuts being banned outright in schools, whether there are food-allergic kids in the class or not. (My son's former preschool had a no-nuts policy in all classrooms regardless of whether there were any kids known to be allergic or not -- just in case.) But when there are multiple kids who have had severe, life-threatening reactions in the past? And when you get notice, to actually call and complain about someone else's medical condition...
Wow. Just, wow.
If you had a student who used a wheelchair, would she complain that the building has ramps?
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How come Mel only has 239 cans. Shouldn't that be more like 2,390?
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We've had a lot of this at our preschool. Some folks just don't get it. But if it was THEIR kid who had the allergy...
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From the Nabisco website with Wikipedia links I've added in:
Oreo Cakester Ingredients: SUGAR, ENRICHED UNBLEACHED AND BLEACHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMNE MONONITRATE {VITAMIN B1}, RIBOFLAVIN {VITAMIN B2}, FOLIC ACID), CANOLA OIL AND/OR PALM OIL AND/OR PALM KERNEL OIL, SKIM MILK, FRUCTOSE, COCOA (PROCESSED WITH ALKALI (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alkali)), HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, LEAVENING (BAKING SODA AND/OR SODIUM ACID PYROPHOSPHATE (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_acid_pyrophosphate) AND/OR CALCIUM PHOSPHATE (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calcium_phosphate)), CHOCOLATE, CORNSTARCH, EGG WHITES, SALT, CORN SYRUP, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, EGGS, SOY LECITHIN (EMULSIFIER) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soy_lecithin), CORN FLOUR, MALIC ACID (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malic_acid), SODIUM ALGINATE (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_alginate), TRICALCIUM PHOSPHATE (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tricalcium_phosphate#Uses), POTASSIUM SORBATE ADDED TO PRESERVE FRESHNESS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassium_sorbate), TRISODIUM PHOSPHATE (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trisodium_phosphate). ALLERGY INFORMATION: MANUFACTURED ON EQUIPMENT THAT PROCESSES PEANUTS AND TREE NUTS.
Personally, this smacks of being an ""edible foodlike substance" (yes, I'm a fan of Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food). Many of the additives, especially the Trisodium Phosphate, are uh... not things I want to eat. From the Trisodium Phosphate wiki entry: "Trisodium phosphate (TSP), available at most hardware stores in white powder form, is a cleaning agent, stain remover and degreaser, commonly used to prepare surfaces for painting... Although it is the active ingredient in at least one toilet bowl cleaning tablet, TSP is generally not good for cleaning bathrooms, because it can corrode metal." Yikes. There's something I don't want in my tummy.
The best revenge of all is that the mom of the girl who had one of the most severe allergies not only pulled me aside to thank me for protecting our students, but came back later and donated hundreds of costume items to the school, and plans to register her child for on going classes.
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I am glad that some good came out of this, anyhow.
I must say, though... if you're not allergic to them? Cakesters are fuck*ng AMAZING.
They are pretty much THE disgustingly perfect artificial snack food.
They taste nothing like a real foodstuff but goddamn if I had to stop buying them so that I would stop eating them and stop getting fatter.
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Excuse me but the shirt must say:
The person behind these tits ain't fuck*ng around.
See, the idea to get across is 'I am a woman and I nice person but I will have your ass'.
I have a t-shirt to this effect, but it is more directed at people I work with than at any annoying person from the general public (http://www.flickr.com/photos/side_show/?saved=1). It is the only shirt with words on it that I wear. A lot of people probably think there's some obscure band out there called the "Shoot Artists" but it was actually a shirt I bought from a guy selling a bunch of oddly sloganed t-shirts he had made at a theatre festival.
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I have a t-shirt to this effect, but it is more directed at people I work with than at any annoying person from the general public. It is the only shirt with words on it that I wear. A lot of people probably think there's some obscure band out there called the "Shoot Artists" but it was actually a shirt I bought from a guy selling a bunch of oddly sloganed t-shirts he had made at a theatre festival.
Oof, yesterday a bunch of my friends started getting really mad at me because I said that I liked this guy's shirt that they declared to be Indie Hipster Ironic Bullshit.
I just thought it was funny, so then we got in an argument where I said "IS THAT IRONIC? WHAT IS IRONIC ABOUT THAT SHIRT!" and the other guy said "IT'S IRONIC! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IRONY IS?"
Eventually I switched to "IT'S NOT FUNNY, IT'S NOT FUNNY" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p0QtJMKt1s)
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I just wanna like what I like and dislike what I dislike.
I dunno if it is an age thing or a life situation thing but... irony, especially what passes for irony these days "oh my God, the Brady Bunch was so fuck*ng awful that it was great!"... 21st Century Post-Everything Irony exhausts me.
Deconstruction is fine and useful but goddamned if it hasn't been overused to the point of breaking.
The problem is... outside of, like, comic books... there ain't a whole lot of Reconstruction going down, just sniggering and high-and-mighty laughter at the wreckage of all the things we broke down to their constituent parts.
I dunno. I'm rambling more than usual.
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They are pretty much THE disgustingly perfect artificial snack food.
They taste nothing like a real foodstuff but goddamn if I had to stop buying them so that I would stop eating them and stop getting fatter.
I dunno if it is an age thing or a life situation thing but... irony, especially what passes for irony these days "oh my God, the Brady Bunch was so fuck*ng awful that it was great!"... 21st Century Post-Everything Irony exhausts me.
Hm.
I had not seen these mythical "cakesters" until yesterday, when I noticed them in the grocery store just above the regular Oreos (which are nectar from the gods). I thought, "gah, those look disgusting," and then I remembered this thread, and felt self-righteous about not buying them.
I think there's something wrong with me.
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No no, I mean... I like Cakesters.
I LOVE Cakesters, totally unironically.
But I know that I'm not supposed to because they are surely made of plastic, refined sugar and fat and would most likely kill me so... I do not eat them... all the things that you said about them.
I am not pretending to like or not like them because it is hip to.
I am trying to not like them because they would help kill me.
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Kill you and ensure your corpse will never decompose. Preservatives on top of preservatives they are.
Food should not be hip or unhip. Food should actually be made of food stuffs only though. That is my take on it.
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From the Nabisco website with Wikipedia links I've added in:
Personally, this smacks of being an ""edible foodlike substance" (yes, I'm a fan of Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food). Many of the additives, especially the Trisodium Phosphate, are uh... not things I want to eat. From the Trisodium Phosphate wiki entry: "Trisodium phosphate (TSP)
As I was reading up to this point, my internal monologue was saying "Hmmm TSP. That's pretty funny. I once pulled the varnish off some hardwood floors with a bottle of something called TSP. Oh. Same stuff."
I've been watching the Game Show Network a lot lately. They keep running this commercial for some kind of cereal straw, where the kids drink a giant glass of milk with whatever the hell is inside the straw adding flavors. Then they eat the straw. "You Sip Sip Sip, then you Munch Munch Munch." It seems if the ad has any other stylized verb that means the same thing as "eat", the product is shit.
I wrote a paper once blaming Wal-Mart for this stuff. They've driven the margin down so far on a lot of these staple items, like basic cleaners, that the cleaner companies have to invent battery powered doodads that are disposable and supposedly make the job easier. Automatic shower cleaners, and powered toilet brushes.
If you need a powered toilet brush, you should examine and remove quicklime from your diet.
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I'm trying to come up with a line about good food giving you good hips... it's in there somewhere.
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Too many people are busy riffing on the backs of others and not enough are erecting their own giants.
This is not only deep, it's relevant to the Cakesters. Why do we need a hundred different varieties of Oreos, with coatings, with more stuff and less stuff, with different flavor fillings, made of cake? Chips Ahoy with different sizes of chips or whatever? Dammit, America, break free and invent a new cookie, already.
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This is not only deep, it's relevant to the Cakesters. Why do we need a hundred different varieties of Oreos, with coatings, with more stuff and less stuff, with different flavor fillings, made of cake? Chips Ahoy with different sizes of chips or whatever? Dammit, America, break free and invent a new cookie, already.
But then how would you know it's good? If the Oreo Cakester was the, oh, I dunno, Tooambie Farms Cakester, there would be boxes of them in the back room in 2016.
It's also why the record companies will spend $40 million propping the Rolling Stones up on tour for another year, when they could take that money and develop 80 bands with it.
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I've been watching the Game Show Network a lot lately. They keep running this commercial for some kind of cereal straw, where the kids drink a giant glass of milk with whatever the hell is inside the straw adding flavors. Then they eat the straw. "You Sip Sip Sip, then you Munch Munch Munch." It seems if the ad has any other stylized verb that means the same thing as "eat", the product is shit.
I haven't seen the ad, but I purchased a box of these on the same grocery run during which I dissed on Cakesters. It's a last-ditch attempt to get my son to drink milk from something besides a bottle before we start bringing in oral-motor therapists. (He can drink from a cup, he can drink from a straw, but he will not drink milk from either of these delivery mechanisms. A friend of mine likened it to "drinking water from a Coke can" -- in his mind, that liquid just doesn't go with that container.)
I'll let you know how awful they are once I've had a chance to try them. They were on sale.
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Watch out, JL. We know where this road leads--
Like most boys his age, Gray Rackles loved lunchtime. As the classroom clock painfully counted out the minutes until noon, he would mentally inventory the bag lunch his mom had packed for him: Choco Bliss snack cakes, Fritos, Snappy-D Lunch Juice, and Tough Customer Ham Pockets. Little did he know that men in white lab coats had been paid to make sure that he permanently liked this food.
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I have tasted these straws. I have seen children and adults alike flinch at these straws in disgust. Good luck to you. To me, they remind me of straw-shaped carbon filters in appearance, and taste like improperly mixed Quick in flavour.
Wombat, in regard to your "why do we need so many different varieties on the original" quandary, I think it was in Culture Jamming, where I read about the concept of how excess choice is actually only the "illusion of choice." Let's say all I really want is a bag of regular Oreos, and I go the the super-giant-mega-buy-anything-you-could-possibly-need-in-one-place store to buy Oreos, and I go to the cookie isle. There can quite possibly be an entire isle devoted to manufactured, packaged cookies now, nevermind the other area of the store with the bakery cookies, the refridgerated section with the cookie dough, the freezer section with frozen cookies and ice cream with cookies in it, the check outs with the individual serving sized packages... Anyway, I locate the cookie section where the Oreos are, and I discover the regular sized bags of Oreos (eye level) are surrounded by other Oreo products: Oreo cakesters, Chocolate Covered Oreos, Mint Oreos, Double Stuff Oreos, Reverse Oreos, Mini Oreos, 100 Calorie Packs Oreos, Lower fat Oreos, Oreos in large "family sized" packs, Oreos packaged in a way that's convenient for packing in school lunches, etc, etc. So instead of just going to an isle, and picking up a bag of Oreos, I am engaged in thinking about Oreos, excited by the possibility of Oreos, enticed by the thought of other ways of enjoying Oreos... and suddenly I've lost 10-15 minutes of my day to thinking about Oreos. Even if I leave with the one bag or Oreos I've intended to buy, I have been deeply engaged at the point of sale with the concept and possibility of Oreos. I have devoted more of my time than I would ever intentionally seek to spend on thinking about Oreos to doing just that. I have been mindfucked by Nabisco. Even if only 1 out of every 50 marketing ideas for Oreos actually succeeds, in the end getting consumers to think about, worry about, get confused about, excited about, talking about the product is an incredibly valuable thing.
Admit it, you all want an Oreo now. I do. Even after knowing TSP is in them. I even had a Cookies n' Cream Wagon Wheel last night and thought about Oreo Cakesters while I ate it. That's powerful marketing.
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Oreos are the best selling cookie in the history of the western world. Do they really need this much marketing?
I heard on the radio this weekend that US car makers are actually cutting back on varieties to save money and be less confusing to consumers. I think they said that one GM model car had something like 100,000 possible configurations. Now think of how many models they make.
I think they're going to switch to the Hyundai-style tiering system where some options are only available if other options further down the tier have also been selected. Like tape deck -> CD player -> CD changer -> 8 speaker surround. This screws over people who want 8 speakers but not a CD changer, but it really lowers manufacturing costs and is more convenient for most consumers because it cuts back on being overwhelmed by choices.
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No, you got a point. Too many people are busy riffing on the backs of others and not enough are erecting their own giants.
I MISREAD this POST, and have been BUSYING myself with GIANT ERECTIONS!
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I uh... I don't particularly like oreos. It's possible they make them slightly differently down here but the choclate biscuit is just a bit too far on the bitter side for what I want in my biscuit and I don't find the stuffing particularly appealing. Tim Tams are way tastier but ususally I'll go for a mint slice or a lemon cream instead.
So I guess the biscuit companies are still mindfuck*ng me with product diversity but at least I get a tasty biscuit out of it.
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yeah, oreos only sometimes fulfill my needs as a consumer of cookies. when they are sitting there I will eat them, but if no one buys any I will go for years at a time without wanting or thinking about them.
They really fucked up somewhere in my childhood, I guess. Actually, in general I have largely lost my taste for snack foods and candy. Maybe because during the school year I get twice my daily sugar/fat in every meal.
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Admit it, you all want an Oreo now. I do. Even after knowing TSP is in them. I even had a Cookies n' Cream Wagon Wheel last night and thought about Oreo Cakesters while I ate it. That's powerful marketing.
Well yea, especially since you've been writing hypnotic copy for Nabisco.
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Oreos are the best selling cookie in the history of the western world. Do they really need this much marketing?
gg...chicken...egg...chicken...egg...chicken...e
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and suddenly I've lost 10-15 minutes of my day to thinking about Oreos. Even if I leave with the one bag or Oreos I've intended to buy, I have been deeply engaged at the point of sale with the concept and possibility of Oreos. I have devoted more of my time than I would ever intentionally seek to spend on thinking about Oreos to doing just that. I have been mindfucked by Nabisco.
Oh yes, I have been there, indeed, exactly despite the fact that in the end I will always buy only the original Oreos. And take them home and scrape out the filling and only eat the outsides. Now wait, there's an idea - why don't they sell them without filling?
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Oh yes, I have been there, indeed, exactly despite the fact that in the end I will always buy only the original Oreos. And take them home and scrape out the filling and only eat the outsides. Now wait, there's an idea - why don't they sell them without filling?
Pod person.
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Now wait, there's an idea - why don't they sell them without filling?
Nabisco makes chocolate wafer cookies that are sorta kinda like the outside of Oreos. More like nilla wafers that are chocolate flavored, but in the ballpark.
Also, you are a freak.
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Wombat - the 100 calorie packs are indeed slightly thinner Oreos without the icing.
Ineve: I'm the same way, actually. The closest I've come to buying Oreos in the past 5 years is when I buy ground "oreo" crumbs at the bulk store for making banana creme pie crust. And I'm pretty sure they aren't even "Oreo" brand crumbs at all. I probably buy packaged desert baked goods under 6 times a year total. I am not a dessert person in general.
Doc: TimTams (or at least the chocolate coated, caramel filled ones, are way too sweet for me - I sputter and cough when I eat them. Then there was a campaign with the posters telling my I was apparently eating them wrong, that I was supposed to bite off each opposite corner and slurp something (milk, coffee, hot coco? I can't recall) through the caramel. I doubt that would make them more enjoyable to me anyway.
Smick: No, I am not writing ad copy for Nabisco. I am part of a mass marketing study to see how many people are bothered by TSP being in food items. The lower the numbers, the more engine degreaser in your food. I work for TSP manufacturers, not Nabisco - they're TPS's wage slaves you see.
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Wombat - the 100 calorie packs are indeed slightly thinner Oreos without the icing.
They're not the same texture. But since they took the trans fat out of Oreos, they're not the same texture anymore anyway, so maybe I should try those again. Except now I am afraid that if I go to the store I am going to have to buy some of those Cakester things, which I never even heard of or noticed before. Evil, evil messageboard!
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I like the cookie part better than the creme - it's a not-too-sweet, very crisp chocolate cookie, while the creme is just a sugarheap.
Basically if someone sold thin chocolate cookies that were just the Oreo cookie parts without the creme I would consume them.
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Careful, Ben. They're going to tar you with the same brush they've taken to Wombat. Perhaps you can share the rail on your ride out of town.
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Me and Ben can be freaks together. So there.
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I'm really hating my pedantic self for doing this, especially since I think Mel is just the Bee's fuck*ng knees and all. But it's "aisle".
Although I must admit, the image of an island filled with nothing but cookies was very appealing. Damn you and your potent imagery, Smells!
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Doc: TimTams (or at least the chocolate coated, caramel filled ones, are way too sweet for me - I sputter and cough when I eat them. Then there was a campaign with the posters telling my I was apparently eating them wrong, that I was supposed to bite off each opposite corner and slurp something (milk, coffee, hot coco? I can't recall) through the caramel. I doubt that would make them more enjoyable to me anyway.
Yeah you just want the plain chocolate ones, caramel ones are a bit over the top.
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Huh. I've actually always spelled it that way, and never been corrected. Learn something new every day!
I am actually also of the ilk who don't really like the icing much either. I eat it, but I don't really care about eating it. In fact, Sesame Street had such a strong effect on me that I not only wanted my oreos to have no icing, but I used to eat them exactly like Ernie does with the cookies in this clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8sNT-VFCow) apart from the fact I'd start by licking the icing off each Oreo first (also, holy hell, I never really realized that Bert was such a total asshole before!)
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(also, holy hell, I never really realized that Bert was such a total asshole before!)
Huh, I see Ernie as the asshole. He stole Bert's cookie and then lied to his face. Bert was trying to be patient with Ernie (even though he's been fucked over by him countless times) and the reward for his patience is he gets fucked over again.
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Come on people, the chocolate cookies are just a Stuf delivery system. Much like pork ribs are just a BBQ sauce delivery system.
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Huh. I've actually always spelled it that way, and never been corrected. Learn something new every day!
I am actually also of the ilk who don't really like the icing much either. I eat it, but I don't really care about eating it. In fact, Sesame Street had such a strong effect on me that I not only wanted my oreos to have no icing, but I used to eat them exactly like Ernie does with the cookies in this clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8sNT-VFCow) apart from the fact I'd start by licking the icing off each Oreo first (also, holy hell, I never really realized that Bert was such a total asshole before!)
This clip is revelatory now that I know about Piaget.
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Much like pork ribs are just a BBQ sauce delivery system.
OMG and YOU are calling ME a pod person?
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I eat Oreoes in this fashion:
I eat the lids off two Oreos and push them together to create an impromptu Double-Stuff.
I then eat the lid off that stack and another single and try to get three Stuffs together.
And then four and then five and so on.
Only when I can no longer stack Stuffs do I finally eat the whole thing.
It is just like Jenga except with terrifyingly unhealthy food.
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Gah, LFM, that is like my nightmare version of what an Oreo could be if allowed to wander unfettered.
I'm with wombles to a degree -- I do in fact eat the middles, but I don't pull my Oreos apart. I jam a fork between the cookies (the Stuf forms a convenient paste) and use that to dunk the entire cookie into milk. This prevents the unfortunate un-milked bit without requiring getting one's fingers milky.
I bought Spring themed Oreos (again, in an attempt to get my son to try something mostly-familiar-but-slightly-different) and found that they were mega-gross on account of being unexpectedly 1.5x Stuf'd.
Then again, I don't like cake because of the frosting, so...maybe I'm not the best guide to Oreos.
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* Open the cookie
* Eat the side that has the most frosting
* Drop the other side on the table/chair/floor
* If frosting came off on your finger, wipe it on the table/chair/floor
* Step on the half cookie remains and run into the carpet.
I don't think my son likes Oreos. I think he just likes making me insane.
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Huh, I see Ernie as the asshole. He stole Bert's cookie and then lied to his face. Bert was trying to be patient with Ernie (even though he's been fucked over by him countless times) and the reward for his patience is he gets fucked over again.
Ernie is pretty much constantly an asshole. Nine segments out of ten, his sole mission is to piss off Bert. He's also frequently inconsiderate to Big Bird; I can't tell you how many shows feature Ernie coming to play with Big Bird, then he totally takes over the terms of the play and leaves Big Bird feeling miserable, until a grown-up suggests Big Bird confront Ernie about it.
Now, Cookie Monster's no role model either, but his weakness is simply that he loves cookies too much. Nothing sinister behind it.
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how dare you say that ernie is an asshole. how dare you.
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Ash likes meanness. Duly noted.
Today I found half an Oreo on the TV stand, just to the left of the TV. No idea how long it's been there.
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Bert has a lot in common with Pat. The difference being Pat tries to enforce his neuroses on everyone else, while Bert just enjoys them.
Ernie is a free-spirit to the point of ass-holery, but I'm not sorry for Bert. He needs that. He needs someone to exasperate him just as Ernie needs someone to antagonize.
B&E's relationship is not romantic in any way as neither has a lower half.
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Now, Cookie Monster's no role model either, but his weakness is simply that he loves cookies too much. Nothing sinister behind it.
I've come to consider Cookie Monster as elected leader and official ambassador of the S.St. monsters. He seems to embody all that it means to be a monster while still being able to set limits and work with the non-monster community. Contrast Harry who is a bit too monstrous and Grover who is barely a monster at all.
...the end of this book notwithstanding.
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Back when I used to work Graveyards at a Taco Bell, I used to make a cup of half root beer, and half Mountain Dew. I would then drop an Oreo in, and let it soak up a bit of the soda. I'd then giraffe out the soggy blob and drop it in my mouth.
Somehow I escaped diabetes.
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Back when I used to work Graveyards at a Taco Bell, I used to make a cup of half root beer, and half Mountain Dew. I would then drop an Oreo in, and let it soak up a bit of the soda. I'd then giraffe out the soggy blob and drop it in my mouth.
Somehow I escaped diabetes.
most disgusting foodstuff-related post 2008
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The holy trinity of fast food (one of the grossest in that category even), soda, and packaged baked goods.
I kind of want to throw up remembering times I consumed those things separately even.
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...the end of this book notwithstanding.
A tiny little can for that tiny little message.
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The holy trinity of fast food (one of the grossest in that category even), soda, and packaged baked goods.
I kind of want to throw up remembering times I consumed those things separately even.
Agreed. I hate post consumption regret. Thinking "ewwww... why did I eat that?"
In regard to Bert: come-on people, he has an off screen, anticipatory monologue about the cookies, and the ass has had so many previous run ins with Bert being unable to controle his id that the jerk was totally testing him.
Also, Victoria, on Piaget thing: yes. Jim Henson is basically a genius, and it's just so perfect how Ernie first tries to nibble it to make it look the right shape again, then tries to rearrange the cookies to make them somehow look like there's still five. I did the same with the hard crunchy kind of cheesies my mom left out that weren't for me. I'd start by nibbling them at the ends in ways that made them hopefully look like they hadn't been eaten, just broken in the package, then I'd eat one or two hoping she wouldn't notice, then it would get out of controle and I would have to actually eat some, then I would obsessively rearrage them to make them in an attempt to make them look like there was still as many. Then the accusations. Then the lies.
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Here's how I eat Oreo's:
1) Open mouth
2) Insert Oreo
3) Close mouth
4) Chew
I've done the improvised-Double-Stuf that LFM mentioned too. That's always a good time.
I love the mint ones, the chocolate ones... the ones dipped in fudge... there's a CUNT one out right now that I love. Me and Oreo's... we're like this.
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wow that's a filter is it? that one's new since i took my sabbatical. what's it filtering out?
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Best to avoid all the genetically modified strawberries though. Organic strawberries are way better.
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Hmm... the filter might be onto something... the Oreo's the perfect size for dippiTHIS THOUGHT PROCESS BLOCKED BY A BRAIN THAT IS SACRIFICING ITSELF TO SAVE SOCIETY.
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CUNNILINGUS. NOUN. MEANS, EATING STRAWBERRIES WITH THE MOUTH.
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Check out these CUNT napoleons (http://www.flickr.com/photos/bigfool/2416962355/) I made!
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My my, those look tasty.
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B&E's relationship is not romantic in any way as neither has a lower half.
Au contraire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPj3G7U-K04).
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So not clicking.
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B&E's relationship is not romantic in any way as neither has a lower half.
Au contraire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPj3G7U-K04).
So not clicking.
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It's just Bert, doin' the pigeon.
Not, you know, doin' the pigeon.