The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: Arachno-capitalist on July 26, 2008, 10:36:55 pm
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American Football is about to begin so that means another season of TOUAMB fantasy football.
I have taken the liberty to set up the league. It is essentially the same as last year, but not with the live draft and I am allowing 2 defensive teams instead of 1. We can change whatever later.
League ID: 225498
League Name: Touamb 08
League Password: roastbeef
http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/touamb08 (http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/touamb08)
- Without Wax
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I am signed in as Modern Guilt and... I was only okay last year, I am much better at Pretend Baseball.
My only squabble would be the limit of 12 teams... if last year was a guide, we might be able to get 14 teams or something. These things are always the more the merrier, of course.
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You da man, ACAP.
I'm meditating on team names at the moment. Makes me as useful as Tits on a Boar.
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I kind of understand kicking sports more than batting sports.
So as long as you don't mind me fouling up the place I'll see if I do well in this.
Admittedly I didn't do very well in Baseball.
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Sex Traction is ready for action!
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Sex Traction is ready for action!
You've been working on that all weekend haven't you?
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Yay! The Lab Rats live to suck another season!
Although: Auto-draft will probably make me not brainlock and choose all kinds of bad choices. Maybe.
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You've been working on that all weekend haven't you?
The rhyme was unintentional, and in fact not even noticed until five minutes after I posted it. Then again, they didn't think "Austin 3:16" would be a big deal either. I'm getting the t-shirts ready as we speak.
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Cue Hank Jr.
I am ready, ready, ready.
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I'd like to take part, but I may not be the most active player due to work travel. So just let me know if you dudes need an extra warm body to round out the roster.
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We could still use another team or 3 if anyone is on the fence.
Any requests for draft date?
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Anybody know what's up with the Brett Favre fellow? I can't seem to find anything about him on the teevee news.
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Anybody know what's up with the Brett Favre fellow? I can't seem to find anything about him on the teevee news.
I think it's Farve.
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Anybody know what's up with the Brett Favre fellow? I can't seem to find anything about him on the teevee news.
I heard he took a shit earlier today. It was solid and curved, dark brown. He might shave later, but thats really just speculation and ESPN will only do 5 segments about it.
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I think it's Farve.
A lack of trust destroyed Brett Favre and the Packers. And now Favre is in a New York (Jets) state of mind, leaving Green Bay to live with the aftermath.
What about Brett Fav... ruh?
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I thought he was joking, also, I might play, wouldn't be able until like tuesday at the earliest though, if you still need an extra dude.
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I thought he was joking, also, I might play, wouldn't be able until like tuesday at the earliest though, if you still need an extra dude.
Yeah. There's so little news on this guy you can hardly blame a fellow for not knowing his name.
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Nabu sent a link today inviting some people to a recreated FFL. I dont know if he's trying to compete or didn't see this league.
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My apologies, all, for the mass-emailing. Haven't been around in a bit and had not seen this. If there's a spot left I'll certainly take it if that's cool.
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yeah, were actually at an odd number right now so that would be great.
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I'm in. Eight teams is going to be kind of unbalanced, though - it's be nice to get at least two more.
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Right, I welcome KeithHernandez and anyone else who wants a stab at it
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I'll play, getting real internet tomorrow at night so, yeah.
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I've never posted here before, but I joined your fantasy football league because I like fantasy football and I like fantasy football in the company of those with similar taste in comics and humour.
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As good a reason as any. Welcome!
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Though, I'm not so sure I like this idea of an autodraft, as I like picking my own players
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Right out of the gate with the nit-picking.
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Right out of the gate with the nit-picking.
Yeah. You should fit right in around here.
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I'm in. Notorious something, haven't decided yet.
Edit: that makes 11, thought it would be twelve. Can drop if I need.
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Hang in there... hopefully, we'll find a twelfth.
The more in the league, the better the play.
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Maybe we can get Wombat to play.
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Alright, I gave in. We've got 12 now. I'm Destiny's Manchild.
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Ok I suggest everyone rank their draft choices, I'll give it a couple more days to see if we pick up a 12th player then green light this bitch before opening week. Once I flip the switch, everyone is drafted in 72 hours according to either your preferences, or the pre-set player rankings.
[Edit] As I was typing this the burger guy joined. Cool.
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Would it be possible to move the draft back until after the third preseason week? Generally at least one person will be screwed by injury if we draft this early.
Otherwise I'm going to have to remember to rank my guys at some point.
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Ok, fair warning then. I will press the go-go button on Wednesday. This would mean the draft would be completed by Friday.
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PEYTON MANNING!
The rest of my team: kind of crappy. But still: PEYTON MANNING!
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I got Eli Manning and an otherwise respectable team. My defense of New England and New York is pretty unbeatable. Id be open to trades for one of them.
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Marc fuck*ng Bulger!!!
Alex Smith!
Fuh - Uck.
I did get LaDainian Tomlinson, but damn -- Bulger?
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A-CAP's kicker is the bomb. I had him last year when I knew nothing about him - and he consistently brought home the bacon. I figure its because Dallas couldn't finish off their drives last year.
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WR - Top End
Yeah, you basically have the best 2 wide receivers in football. Did you pre-rank them or did it just come out like that? Cause, wow.
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Dear NFL;
Glad to see you kicked off your season yesterday afternoon, I've been looking forward to it as usual.
One thing: my employer doesn't recognize you guys as a holiday occasion so I missed whatever thing that was that went on.
Regards,
Asherdan
PST OG
Dude!
I didn't even think about you guys out there in Pacific Time. It seemed a little odd that they were starting the game at 7 EDT. Not to worry, it was a pretty shitty game anyway.
Now I'm trying to get my head around going to a football game at 10:00 a.m. WTF?
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I dunno. I'd rather miss the first quarter of the game, but then be able to actually see the end, instead of having to stay up until past midnight.
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Central and Mountain are definitely the best for sports. Central is nice, but Mountain, I think, will end up being the best cause it doesn't start too early (though the NBA playoffs started way earlier in the day then i was ready for, I think cause I mainly watched western conference playoffs before) and ends with an extra hour to go out and do stupid things.
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Ash, can i get ocho cinco?
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Yeah that was weird for me when I was on the west coast and the football game started at 10:00 am.
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Who's Boar Tits?
And how do you feel about your fantasy football team this morning?
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That is just perfect.
Clipped in admiration.
Heartbreaker for you Bolts fans yesterday, huh. Made for an exciting game if you were neutral though.
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By an amazing stroke of luck I have managed to locate a photo of Asherdan in his playing days. (http://www.shorpy.com/node/4388?size=_original)
Yikes.
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Who's Boar Tits?
And how do you feel about your fantasy football team this morning?
Annihilated
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By an amazing stroke of luck I have managed to locate a photo of Asherdan in his playing days. (http://www.shorpy.com/node/4388?size=_original)
Yikes.
Intense. I would not get between that dude and a football. Or a steak.
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"FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (AP) - New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is out for the season with a left knee injury that will require surgery. The 2007 NFL Most Valuable Player will be placed on injured reserve, the Patriots said Monday, one day after his knee was injured in the first quarter of a 17-10 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs."
In other news, every football betting guide for the season is now garbage.
I noticed Boar Tits has already dropped Brady from the roster.
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I was watching the '89 SuperBowl in my dorms lounge with a bunch of other folk, when they ran the play where Tim Krumrie got his shin snapped
I remember this, not so much for when it happened, but a photo (in SI or something?) in which Krumrie's leg had a bend in it, in a place where the human leg is not supposed to bend. Yoicks.
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I had a similar event occur when some 6'4 drone fireaxed my lower leg while trying to clear me away from a loose ball. He got to sit in the penalty box for a minute - I got to hobble off for the man-up squad to enjoy some offense. At first it just looked like a bruise. Later on, my sock felt tight, so I reached down to adjust it and realized I wasn't wearing socks that high. I looked down and saw a baseball-sized lump hanging off the side of my shin. "Uhhh, coach..."
Fortunately it was a home game, so I got packed off to the clinic where a doc looked at it and essentially said "Ice it." My calf felt like a water balloon - taut and hot with a weird paleness in the skin around it and a red stripe where the pole had hit. A week later the swelling had gone down some, but there was a massive clot under the skin. They decided to drain it, but apparently it had all gone jello-y and wouldn't flow into the syringe. It took months to disappear completely, no doubt hindered by dozens of additional whacks through the course of the season. These days there's a knobbly little bit of calcium deposit on the shin bone.
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Sometimes, I wonder if it was a bad thing that I was not a jock.
And then I read these things.
Hooray apathy!
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Jaydub: Enabling couch potatoes since 1969.
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I never had quite so awesome a sports injury. However, one time as a soccer goalie, I took an absolute cannon of a shot off my chest at close range. The next morning, I had a ring-shaped bruise, about the diameter of a soccer ball, on my chest. And at the center, there were red lines matching the stitching pattern on the ball.
is SO cool
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So, last year I just left this up to luck on accident (got too hungover to care/remember/be able to function during draft), and that worked out pretty well (brady moss). This year, I did it on purpose, and, well, it hasn't really worked out that well. Dumb luck is better then tricking yourself in to thinking you know what you are doing and I saw my parents for the first time in like 6 months and saw Manny Ramirez play baseball for the first time ever and I was busy basically, but I still fuck*ng suck. Though I did start Baltimore's D and a WR with a hernia, so yeah, I need to get into this?
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yeah, theres too many injuries in football to just 'let it ride'. At the minimum, its good to make sure everyone on your team is alive and well.
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Yeah, that was an awful post.
Basically, I kind of forgot the first week and my parents were in town and I was busy this week. My team could be alright with what I have, I just need to make sure I am starting the right people. HOWEVAH, I am not going to be last years team, which was basically make sure brady moss are starting, hope they don't get hurt, have a great regular season and lose in the playoffs (hey, that happened to them too!)
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I seem to be accidentally good so far.
This worries me.
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My QB has the football equivalent of a perfect game - my kicker scores 14 fantasy points (13 real points) and my team still can't win. I can probably lay this at the feet of the San Diego defense, who managed to score negative points for me. Lack of Merriman?
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"ASHBURN, Va. -- Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley apologized Monday for posting an explicit photo of himself on his Web site.
Cooley accidentally revealed more of himself than he wanted when he took a picture Sunday morning while preparing for a game against the New Orleans Saints. Cooley wanted to show the readers of his popular blog some of the study materials the players were given by coach Jim Zorn.
Cooley, however, said he was studying in the nude, and he didn't examine his photo closely before posting it."
He posted pictures of himself "studying" in the nude?
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Hey, my crappy little shit-hole of a hometown is famous. I hear they finally have a movie theatre there.
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He posted pictures of himself "studying" in the nude?
"You've not had my life."
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The apology post on the blog sounds almost Achewood-ish, as if it were the text of a Roast Beef card.
All apologies from the website. We are very sorry that we showed a c*ck on our website all day yesterday. That was by no means our intention and we did not want to offend anyone.
There's a poster of Chris Cooley in the Lidz store at the Philadelphia airport (because nothing sells more hats in Philly than a picture of a player for Washington) that says "Helmet Off. Hat On." There's a joke in there somewhere.
I call bullshit though. Accidentally my ass. Chris Cooley strikes me as the kind of guy who would involve his c*ck in a touchdown celebration if he could figure out a way to get away with it.
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It can't be good for your overall score that all the teams my players were on lost. (Except the kicker).
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I decided to give Matt Cassel a try today - playing the hapless Dolphins, it'd be a good day for him to score some points.
Oops.
Everyone on my team underperformed today. I dread looking at the score tomorrow.
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I just came in to say I forgot to care again. Fuck.
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dang, how did i come out exactly tied with Sex Traction for 85 points.
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So how was this weekend for you in fantasy football, G-dawg?
Well, Matt Cassell forgot to show up. I'd pull him from my starting lineup, but my other guy is Cleveland's Derek Anderson, who it is reported today is on the hot seat to lose his starting job next week.
My tight end, Jeremy Shockey, is out for 3-6 weeks due to surgery to fix a "sports hernia." What's the difference between that and a regular hernia? That's not snarky, I really want to know. What IS snarky is that I have to replace him. TEs don't make or break teams, but my team needs every point it gets.
Randy Moss was completely shut down (see Cassell, Matt, above)
And oh, my opponent had the Dolphins running back that got into the end zone four times, and then for the hell of it, threw a pass for a fifth TD. That was 40 points for him.
And yet, after all of that, I managed to pull out a tie (see the above post). Crazyness.
EDIT: And OH FUCK FIVE OF MY STARTING PLAYERS INCLUDING QB, WR, and DEF ARE IN THE GODDAMN BYE WEEK.
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Argh - TD to Coles from Favre. Cool Boyz have this one in the bag.
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I am doing surprisingly well for someone who knows nearly nothing about football.
I think the key has been to stick with the core of the team the computer gave me and just upgrade the minor pieces it gave me in the later rounds.
And then, y'know, just make sure that everyone's eligible and healthy for that week.
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A dude is seriously hurting for some defense. Indy sans Bob Sanders is still my best performer.
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I wonder how many fantasy points Janikowski's 76 yard kick would have been worth had he made it.
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Gotta love a Sunday where you made every possible roster choice incorrectly.
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Gotta love a Sunday where you made every possible roster choice incorrectly.
I wasnt even allowed to make a wrong choice. My entire team and bench are injured or bye week. I think im predicted to score like 35 points with a kicker and a running back.
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How was choosing the QB up against the goddamned Rams the bad choice?
This is what I really don't get.
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He's sick. My POS quarterback is sick, and didn't play today. Double-u, tee, eff. On the other hand, my K had a hat-kick, all three over 40 yards. Gonna need all those extra points if I hope to stand any kind of chance this week.
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Basically, everyone on my team is injured.
Yeah.
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God damnit!
Why didn't my trade for Deuce go through yesterday? Now I've got a freaking empty roster slot for week 5.
Shit!
Not that it would make much difference in the 40 point gap between me and A-CAP. Still though. Pride.
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Yeah, this is interesting... I got more dogs in the fight, but one of my dogs is dependent on your dog for pretty much all of his performance.
You're up by nine (thanks a fuck*ng lot, Schaub). For me to have a chance, Reggie needs to get a ball a lot, and get in the end zone at least one, possibly twice.
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Recap: Reggie Bush went off for 2 TD's on his own and 'Haus pulled it out by two.
I hate this game. I'm averaging over 100 pts. a week and I'm 2-3.
This is why we play the fantasy game. I was watching this game at the gym, confusing the people around me by swearing at the Saints' success on a play, and then celebrating that same team the very next play. I'm kinda the opposite of you - I have a decent 3-1-1 record, despite not lighting up the scoreboard very much (this week being an exception).
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Anybody interested in trading for a good TE (Tony Scheffler)? I'm looking for a second DEF, or maybe a WR.
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Damn Ash, its not like you're short on running backs - you've gotta go and snake Willie off the waivers?
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Anybody interested in trading for a good TE (Tony Scheffler)? I'm looking for a second DEF, or maybe a WR.
You might want to add a QB to that wish list...
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You might want to add a QB to that wish list...
Mee-oooww!
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I need a good receiver real bad, if anyone has one.
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I am open to all trades. Submit your offers to Stoned Lightning
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I think I might have made my team good enough to sneak into the playoffs if aaron rodgers stays healthy and either a wide receiver or two I have step up a bit or I get a real good one somehow. From what I understand unless you have like 2 or 3 guys the tight end position is shit, is this right?
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Fact: The Saints have become terrible.
Fact: The only consistent player on the Saints is out for at least three weeks.
Fact: Three of my starters (including that one) are Saints.
I wish we could trade players for draft picks for next year. I would go straight into rebuilding mode. I have a couple of decent folks, but I will not be making the playoffs this year.
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Visanthe Shiancoe
(Min - TE)
TE @Chi L, 48-41 16% 0 0 0 0 0 68 1 0 0 0 13
Kellen Winslow
(Cle - TE) Q
BN @Was L, 14-11 45% 0 0 0 0 0 17 0 0 0 0 2
Suck it, Yahoo trends. Booyeah.
Of course, this all depends on my three Broncos (Damn, dirty Broncos) performing well and getting me a win tonight.
I'm probably gonna be mad about benching Santonio Holmes on a day when he caught a TD, but I'll deal. Also, 3 total points from my Defenses = ROCK.
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Fact: The Saints have become terrible.
become?
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I'm probably gonna be mad about benching Santonio Holmes on a day when he caught a TD, but I'll deal. Also, 3 total points from my Defenses = ROCK.
One of my DEF teams scored 4 points this week. Sadly, the other one scored -4.
become?
Well, yeah. But they had individual achievers.
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Before all my WRs got horribly mutilated in different ways, I was briefly good at this game.
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To: my pretend football players
Re: Getting suspended
Stop being dumb! Or at least pick a week where I don't have five players on byes.
Seriously, first Winslow and now Holmes.
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Yahoo seems to think that Carolina had 6271 points scored against its defense.
Despite this... and despite starting all the wrong WRs... I still scored 100 points, which is rad.
If I'm ever at a point where all my best WRs are healthy, I have a pretty good team.
I willl probably never get there.
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Rather incredibly, both of my fantasy football teams are in sole possession of first place in their respective leagues.
I thoroughly expect to lose in the first round of the playoffs.
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Im not sure how to save Stoned Lightening. They've just been performing sub-par lately. Almost slothlike, with poor hand-eye coordination and amotivational syndrome.
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My team is coming up hard still, so that is good. It's going to be real hard to recover from 0-5 though.
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I've somehow won five straight, including this past week when I only had two receivers to start.
I'm... I'm not sure how to react to this, except to apologize.
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I would love to shore up my defenses, but since we have two slots scoring for DEF this year, pretty much all the teams are taken except the super-shitty. And I don't have anyone riding the pine to offer up in exchange for a better D.
I'm doing a lot better than my skillz as a manager should dictate. A couple of my wins are blind luck.
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Four in a row bitches.
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If anyone wants to pony up something decent, I got Dallas' D to give.
They give up a lot of opposing points but seem to get a lot of sacks and turnovers and such to make up for it.
Certainly not a #1 defense but a solid #2. Anyone have a better back-up RB than I currently have to give for that?
ALSO: I seem to be very erratic at this game. This week I was good! Others, not so much.
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I could use a decent QB if anybody's got one to trade.
Anybody else notice that the highest scoring team (918) is at the (almost) bottom of the standings. That's some bad luck.
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You ain't whistling Dixie, bub.
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I think I am in first now on the technicality of having the most points of the three-loss teams, even though there are teams with more overall points and much better players than I have. That is some topsy-turvy shit right there.
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It's cool to know that Daunte "Signed off the street and starting on a new team today" Culpepper outscored both my pro bowl quarterbacks combined.
Even so, if I'd made all the right bench moves this week I still would've lost by 20, so good job Boar Tits.
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I made some horrible choices this week... mostly revolving around the fact that I'm so deliriously bad at 2nd RB that I'm kind of just throwing ideas at the wall here... and yet I survived this week. So there's that.
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Even so, if I'd made all the right bench moves this week I still would've lost by 20, so good job Boar Tits.
My team lived up to its limited potential - yours seems to have hit a perfect storm of underachievement - not sure I can take credit :)
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I hate this game. I feel like Charlie Brown when he keeps looking in his bag and finding a rock.
All the talent seems to be sitting on the benches. Next time around I need to look in advance at who's got bye weeks coming up, because I was forced to expose some of my players to the waiver wire to cover on thin weeks, and you bastards took 'em.
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Is that how Willie Parker broke loose?
Precisely.
The only dudes not on the block on my roster are Brees, Forte, Parker and Wayne.
Bastard
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The dude who has not made a single roster move just pulled into sole possession of third.
Just wanted to lay that out there.
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Oh. Michael Turner.
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Two weeks to go, four playoff spots locked up, the fifth nearly so.
Three teams at 5-7 vying for the sixth and final playoff spot; it will likely go to whoever can win out over the last two. No head-to-head matchups among the three. If I had to bet, I'd pick Some Tasty Eggplant, whose remaining schedule is somewhat easier than the other two.
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Also: One thing we're beating the NFL in - number of tie games.
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Also: One thing we're beating the NFL in - number of tie games.
I blame myself. When I petitioned the universe for a win against Nabu's team, I originally asked for a six point game from Deuce McAllister. Seven would have been the winning amount required.
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That, and this game hates me.
Hates me worse.
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Hates me worse.
Then I have hope for this week.
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That, and this game hates me.
I don't really know that much about fantasy sports, but I think my 27 pt defense, 15ish pt TE and 23 pt WR with 11 combined rushing pts has got to be the weirdest 142 point week of any in our leagues. I mean, if it wasn't for my QB doing well it would have been an even weirder victory, as it is that just made it a blowout. You got screwed.
Also, I am getting that 6th spot. I mean, I hope.
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Obama on college football playoffsl (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WDuQe89kJM&eurl=http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/11/obama-football.html)
I guess that falls under the executive privilege clause, or the Megalomaniac personality syndrome, either or.
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Obama on college football playoffsl (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WDuQe89kJM&eurl=http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/11/obama-football.html)
I guess that falls under the executive privilege clause, or the Megalomaniac personality syndrome, either or.
It's the bully pulpit man, the bully pulpit!
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He's right you know.
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He's absolutely right. Major college football is the only sport I know of, at any level, where you can win EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR GAMES and not be the champion.
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I am astonished how bad I was at pretend football this week.
ALSO: the six BCS division winners and two at-larges with a weight toward the champions of the smaller conferences for those last two.
Use the existing BCS bowls and the best of the others to rotate all through a playoff structure every seven years. Or four years and make the "other three" always have most of the first round. Whatever. Lean toward the traditional match-ups in the first round when you can.
We're at the point where the horrible BCS compromise makes it that only one bowl means something anyway, as opposed to the old one where three or four could all be a part of the title picture, you know? It ends up basically win-win.
It is not rocket science to make this work in a way where everyone still makes their goddamned money.
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Heading into the final week of the regular season. Five playoff spots locked up.
The three teams tied for sixth all won, so the pressure is still on, and all three have difficult matchups this week. Tommy Damn Tiger has a big edge in total points, which I'm quite sure is the first tiebreaker, so the spot is really theirs to lose. They meet Modern Guilt, who are tied for second and trying to score a first-round bye.
Eggplant vs. Lab Rats, another formidable squad. Lincoln, NE vs. the KOODGE, and holy SHIT I just noticed that Steve Slaton helped me come back and win last night, so I stay in first place. w00t! I don't have a first-round bye secured yet, but chances are good.
Good luck to all.
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he was hit in a dense muscle area I bet he was using a fully jacketed bullet, a bad choice for self defense, unsafe because of over penetration for bystanders but very fortunate for him in that the bullet didn't expand and really miff his leg up.
Will you explain this more, especially the jacketed bullet thing.
Also, I don't know if this is true, and I can't be asked to look it up, but I think the three teams tied for 6th are playing the best fantasy ball over the last five or six weeks, certainly I (lincoln, ne) have. I have to hope Ash loses and I can beat the other dude (AW?) by 17, and win my match-up. Either way, I started the year 0-5, so ..uh, yeah.
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A fully jacketed bullet won't expand or deform until it hits something a lot harder than muscle tissue. It will pencil right on through and exit, generally, unless it hits something nice and hard like the pelvis. A soft point or a hollow point is designed to expand, the expansion creates a larger frontal area that both creates a larger wound channel and reduces penetration. Most human self defense designs go for this as a bullet that does not exit or exits at greatly reduced velocity is a safer option for areas with bystanders.
This leads to one of the weird things about modern war - you can be accused of a war crime for shooting an enemy soldier with a civilian hollowpoint bullet. The fully jacketed round is considered "more humane" because a hit from one will reduce your combat effectiveness without tearing a great gaping hole in you. On the other hand, if someone less knowledgable hears about a gunshot from a "military-style bullet", they would probably think its somehow more egregious and unnecessary. Tactically, killing people is less efficient in modern war than disabling them. A wounded soldier stresses the infrastucture of his army by needing medevac, treatment, and medication - not to mention the psychological impact of his wounding on his squadmates during the firefight itself.
All a long way from football, however.
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In my other league (where I am ALSO in first place, thank you), I traded away Plaxico a few weeks ago. Granted, the guy I got (Panthers RB Jonathan Stewart) has been hurt and only occasionally effective, but I'd have to say I got the better of that deal.
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Is he the son of Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes?
Because, like, I always had my suspicions.
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The 'Rats and my team, down to the stretch for the points tiebreaker!
If I can squeeze, like, eight or nine more points out of my scrubs, I get the #2 bye. If I can't, I don't.
Interesting stuff!
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Well, I had a real good season after the start, but unless a carolina receiver and their defense score 29 points while a carolina running back and receiver score less than 23 24 something like that, I am done.
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Monday morning outlook:
Tommy Damn Tiger has the best shot at the last playoff spot right now, up by 28 with Modern Guilt having two players active tonight. Should the Guilt stage a comeback, Lincoln, NE will sneak into that spot, as they came up large against the KOODGE but not large enough to overcome the total points deficit to the Tiger. Tasty Eggplant is down by 39 with two players active tonight; not looking good for the Egg Man.
Banana Town secures a first-round bye despite losing, thanks to Destiny's Manchild getting smoked. If my math is correct, Modern Guilt gets the other first-round bye even if they lose this week.
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Well, all the bad things happened. Congrats Asherdan, I would have my money on you if you could bet on fantasy sports and if I had money.
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Playoffs round 1:
Tommy Damn Tiger vs. Destiny's Manchild
Sex Traction vs. Lab Rats
waiting in the wings: Banana Town KOODGE and Modern Guilt
Good luck all.
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I just had a look back at our '07 game and was unsurprised to see I did worse this time around. I can lay my final loss at the wife's feet at least - she wouldn't let me adjust my roster on Sunday morning for fear of getting a bad parking spot at church. Priorities...
I was going to put Pierre from New Orleans in for one of my tired vets at RB. He scored 23 fantasy points to their 4 or 5, and put me ahead of Nabu to take 9th again.
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I would just like to point out that if I'd scored ONE MORE POINT in that tie game, I'd be in second place and enjoying a bye week instead of in fourth and hoping to hell I last longer than a round this time through.
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Tasty Eggplant is down by 39 with two players active tonight; not looking good for the Egg Man.
Well, I was able to pull off a comeback for the win, but without a TommyTiger loss it was all for naught because his total point lead was way too much.
Congrats AD, you fuck*ng guy.
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Frankly, I'm just lucky I got in second.
I had one close loss but I had two reeeeeeal squeaker wins.
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I think I have learned something important: do not play anyone who is playing the Steelers. I'm glad I figured that out before I picked Romo over Rivers that week.
Also: being utterly brilliant and taking a receiver from the "every play is like garbage time" Chiefs was not so brilliant after all.
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You see, I already got the only two guys who get passed to on the Chiefs.
Already cornered THAT shitty market.
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Way back when in this topic, we were talking about Tim Krumrie and is wicked nasty broken leg in the Super Bowl.
Want to see an even more wicked nasty broken leg? Click here. (http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/full/~3/hWD9IaIHbyg/mma-sets-new-standard-for-horrific-leg-breaks) Do not click if squeamish. You've been warned.
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Want to see an even more wicked nasty broken leg?
I was pretty sure I knew what that clip would contain, but I was surprised at how recent it was. I saw a similar clip about 5 years ago, but it was a pair of heavyweights fighting. This recent one, the guy was asking for a broken leg with the technique he used. He was either tired or unskilled at that kick. You want to angle it down so if its blocked the leg deflects instead of snapping.
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Same here, not watching. I get pissed when sports shows break out the Theismann injury without adequate warning.
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Want to see an even more wicked nasty broken leg?
No, thank you.
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SexTraction, almost boned by a combination of an injured RB and the Pats QB losing a fantasy point by taking a knee to end the game, pulls off a really interesting little desperation move. We'll see how it pans out.
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Your first-round Monday morning outlook:
Lab Rats up 94-91, but Sex Traction has Correll Buckhalter (possibly) playing tonight. Can he get three or more points from a second-string, moderately injured RB? Considering that the Eagles have the Browns at home, maybe, esp. if they can go up big early and run the ball a lot.
Destiny's Manchild has it pretty well wrapped up over Tommy Damn Tiger, 95-84. The Manchild has Cleveland's kicker, but it would be damn difficult for a kicker to score negative eleven points.
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Your first-round Monday morning outlook:
Lab Rats up 94-91, but Sex Traction has Correll Buckhalter (possibly) playing tonight. Can he get three or more points from a second-string, moderately injured RB? Considering that the Eagles have the Browns at home, maybe, esp. if they can go up big early and run the ball a lot.
LFM called it right - desperation move. I completely forgot about Jacobs until the 4:00 games had already started. This guy I've never heard of was the best of the rest. He's projected to earn four points. I'm guessing he'll earn three and make things interesting.
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LFM called it right - desperation move. I completely forgot about Jacobs until the 4:00 games had already started. This guy I've never heard of was the best of the rest. He's projected to earn four points. I'm guessing he'll earn three and make things interesting.
And that will be God punishing me for picking up Tashard Choice and not playing him.
22 points compared to Hightower's 6. :(
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Give thanks to Traschelio the god of Garbage Time Statistics, Sex Traction.
You're going to the next round.
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"Thu, Dec 18 Head coach Tony Dungy plans to rest Manning and other key starters in Week 17 if the Colts clinch a playoff spot this week, the Indianapolis Star reports."
I don't mean to get ahead of myself here--still need to win this week.
But, shit.
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My entire next week basically depends on whether San Fran wants to play a banged-up Frank Gore in a game which, to them, is functionally meaningless.
So I smell what you're cooking.
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"Thu, Dec 18 Head coach Tony Dungy plans to rest Manning and other key starters in Week 17 if the Colts clinch a playoff spot this week, the Indianapolis Star reports."
I don't mean to get ahead of myself here--still need to win this week.
But, shit.
Shit, why couldn't they have clinched last week?
My #3 WR is questionable at this point. He's only forecast for five points, but I have a feeling this is going to be a close one. Of course, the last time we met, you beat me by 34.
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Oh! Twon Boldin is questionable now too!
Fantasy slings and arrows! Pretend outrageous fortune!
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Apparently there's a chance the New England/Arizona game will be played in winter weather - wintry mix, high of 40, low of 20.
Great for a running game, bad when Matt Cassel and Randy Moss are your battery.
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See, this is why my other league has the playoffs in weeks 15-16. There's just too much goofy shit goin' down in the last week of the season.
Manning the Elder: 364 yds, 3 TDs, no picks. 26 FP. I'm-a call that a good start.
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Garrard did a lot better than he should have but juuuuuuuuuuuust missed really breaking out and giving me a distinct advantage.
Subtract the pick, one more rushing yard, maybe one more passing TD and I would'a been really solid and those all would'a been within reason.
The good news, though, is that one of my opponents' defenses also played and threw up a zero. That... helps.
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So not only did my QB and #1 WR play in the snow, but - oh ho ho! - I failed to note that their opponent was the Arizona Cardinals, for whom my #2 WR plays.
The snow threatened to make a mockery of my team, but then Matt Cassel said "Snow? Fuck THAT!" and lit it up for 3 TDs and 345 yards, including one to Randy Moss. Then for good measure, Larry Fitzgerald ripped off a 78-yard reception for a TD when the game had long been decided. I'm not great at the math, but I think they've kept me in this thing.
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My entire roster was boom or bust, Buckeyes or bearshit, but it was enough to get to the finals.
Man, the final is just going to be a crapshoot of who is sit and who isn't, huh?
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Well, shit.
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Holy crap - I knew i was still in the game, I didn't realize I was THAT MUCH in the game. Wow - 27 points from the Cincinnati DEF? Really? 27?
If anyone's interested, nfl.com does a Playoff Challenge involving teams that made it to the postseason. 8 teams, 4 rounds. The key is to predict those teams that are going to go all the way and snag their players. We got seven other folks who haven't got enough?
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So it looks like the key game is going to be the Chiefs vs Bengals. Modern Guilt's QB, WR and TE play for the Chiefs, while I have the Bengals DEF along with an RB. I hope they're happy that their game is going to matter to someone. I've scratched my TE and RB, since one is out and the other is doubtful (in a game that's meaningless for his playoff-bound team). Currently the Guilt holds a five-point advantage over me.
No Monday Night Football this week, and neither of us have a Bronco or a Charger on our squads, so we'll have this wrapped up by 8:00.
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Well-played, Sex Traction, well-played, all.
I wear my crown humbly, knowing that if Destiny's Manchild had ever made any changes to his roster at all, the DMs would'a creamed us all.
There but for the grace of Matt Hasselback go I. Oh and Philly's D going titsass batshit fuckballs nuts this week. That helped too.
A fun season of pretend football indeed.
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Congrats, LFM. Yeah, the Iggles D just went OFF yesterday.
Good season, all.
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Indeed - my joy at watching the Cowboys get their asses handed to them came with a price, knowing that it was shooting me in the foot. Oh well. It was a fun season. Bring on Pretend Baseball 09!
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E-A-G-L-E-S IGGLES!
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WTF, Cardinals.
Seriously.
If you beat the Eagles I shall be quite cross. YOU ARE NOT A FRANCHISE THAT DESERVES A SUPER BOWL.
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However, their quarterback is very very religious.
So this might be Christ's fault.
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I blame Bush.
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WTF, Cardinals.
Seriously.
If you beat the Eagles I shall be quite cross. YOU ARE NOT A FRANCHISE THAT DESERVES A SUPER BOWL.
I don't know... apparently, until Sunday, the Cardinals are the only team in the NFC that has never been to a conference championship game. That includes three expansion teams. The case could be made that no one deserves it more.
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The last time the Cardinals played in a championship game was for the NFL Championship in 1948, back when they were the Chicago Cardinals and played at Comiskey Park. That game was also against the Eagles, who beat them by a final score of 7-0.
That's almost as long as the Cubs have gone without playing in the World Series. Granted, the Cubs kept the same fanbase that whole time, while the Cardinals relocated twice, but it does put things in perspective somewhat.
On the other hand, the Eagles have a pretty big drought of their own. Also, the Cardinals were still playing at Sun Devil Stadium when I was at ASU. Having two teams play at your school's stadium means campus parking gets fucked up twice as often, so I didn't care too much for them back then. I guess I'll just wait until the Super Bowl and root for either of them over the AFC team.
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Well, shit. Now, part of me wants to root for the Cardinals in two weeks. Warner and Fitzgerald are going about as well as any QB-WR tandem I have ever seen. And I always have a soft spot for long-suffering fan-bases. Make all the jokes about non-existent Cardinals fans you want, but however few there may be, you know there are people out there who have had season tickets since the day Cardinals moved to the desert, and they've stuck with the team through years of terrible play. THOSE people deserve to see their team win a championship.
The other part of me wants the Steelers to beat them by like 30 points.
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Larry Fitz makes me happy because there's a giant receiver other than T.O. to watch now.