The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => 2009 Touambies => Topic started by: pmcd9 on December 02, 2009, 02:32:53 am
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There are a lot of new faces around the water cooler of TOUAMB these days. Many found their way here in the wake of the closure of Assetbar. We welcome those members and we want to celebrate them with this award for the newest members of the board. This award goes to the member who has quickly become an asset to the community. But before we get to the nominations I would like to give a special accomidation to Already-in-use. You have taken trolling to a new level. I have to admire you even when I am despising you. And even though you are a sorry piece of shit there can be no denying you brought us closer together. Thank you Shithead.
Now, back to business. We have a very special guest here to present this award. I don't want to keep you in too much suspense so without further ado... Ladies and gentlemen, here to present the award for Newbie of the Year, none other than MisterQueue!
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So apparently I have been asked to present the award for "best n00b" (as I once understood the internet parlance was wont to call it).
This is basically a similar award as the one I got back in the dark ages, but at that time it was a secret award only chosen by an elite cabal. (I understand no less than 3 babies and one cockerel were killed in the divining of the winner, which is, honestly, fitting.) I hope this explains why, I, a name none of the partici##### know, am presenting this instead of someone actually relevant to any of them.
I suppose this is the point where I'm supposed to break down each of the people nominated and say something pleasant about them. However, since I'm no longer active I have no evidence of them being pleasant in any way. I have been assured, despite this, that they are all fine upstanding people with good dental work and fierce determination. Okay.. no one said that, but let's just pretend. In all seriousness, it is good to see that the community here continues to thrive despite the comic itself having about 3 new entries every month or so (give or take a night of 'stad binge drinking).
But, much like the Principal at a High School prom, you didn't come here to listen to me ramble incessantly about the process or nominees, so without further ado, I present you your winner Bluemoon 72! When I was told that she would proffer body parts if she won, my first thought was "hove some dignity", but I soon realized I wasn't Old Hat enough to haze the new blood and that I should probably just say my thing and leave.
So here's to you Bluemoon 72. May you go on to great things! Why just look at the previous winner and surely you'll have a longstanding "career" here.
Okay.. bad example.
Still though, you won "Best Newbie" on a message board about cartoon cats, and no one can ever take that away from you right?
Best Wishes All!
Love,
-Q
P.S. In 4 years from now, get whoever the damn hell you vote in as "Not Forgotten" to do this, instead of the forgotten, you slags.
P.P.S. Wombie, I am onto you. Don't think you won't pay.
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Oh my! This is so unexpected. I am so grateful.
[Visual: Holding hands up to stem applause. Fighting back fake tears.]
I'd like to thank TOUAMB for this most prestigious award. Also, thank you to my agent, my manager and my attorney. You all know why.
When I started posting online as a young, idealistic girl, I did it for the love of the craft. That love has never faded. Now, here I am, 15 years later, winning the TOUAMBie award for “Best Newbie.” This is simply a dream come true.
[Visual: I can’t fight back my joy any longer, and have let loose a torrent of tears.]
To my fellow nominees—each of whose name I forget right now—each one of you is equally deserving of this. I would share it with you if I could. But of course, I can’t.
To the admins, our outstanding host, and everyone who voted for me, thank you. It has been absolute orgasmic pleasure—in a completely non-sexual way, of course—chatting with all of you. You mean the world to me. For those who didn’t vote for me, you all can kiss my ass and call me callipygian.
[Audio: The orchestra has started playing. I ignore it and proceed.]
Okay, music man, hold it right there. Seriously, come on—this moment may or may not ever happen again! Paul, can I be voted Best Newbie two years in a row? No? Huh. Damn. Quit playing, then, I’ve got more people to thank.
To my TOUAMB sponsor, greenkoolayd, thank you. You barely tolerate me every day. And I honestly can't thank you enough.
Most of all, I'd like to thank the Great One himself, Mr. Chris Onstad. For the unending joy that his cheerful slice-of-life pastiches bring to us, I'd like to give him great, big, sloppy wet internet make-outs.
Whoops, here comes the hook. Good night, everybody, and may the deity of your choosing bless you all!
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Hey, what did *I* do???
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Oh, and the promised full moon is coming tomorrow--got a great picture, but camera cord malfunction prevents its posting.
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To see the results of this vote go here (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,5272.0.html).
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Halfway surprised that the results link doesn't go to a picture of an ass.
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I'm just proud to be considered in the same league as the newbies who have actually said things and done things. The single vote was an unexpected bonus!
But the real winner here is Bluemoon72, because 13 people voted for her.
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A can for being the newb with a concession speech.
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i didnt even know i was nominated, so no speech. i just want to say that jennifer(bluemoon72) is one of the most witty, creative, well-spoken women i know.
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I'll win Best Newbie some day. I've already started on my clever disguise.
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I, for one, am certainly prepared to vote for "Champ Chunge" next year.
He will be a champion at chunge, which... I think is like a cross between MMA and beer pong.
In between rounds of beer pong, you beat the shit out of each other and if you vomit (or "chunge") you are automatically disqualified.
It is like chess boxing except more youtube-ready.
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Sounds like a lovely way to spend an evening, very frat-friendly enterprise.
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i imagine between all the puking, you hear people saying, "bro!", and "dude!", a lot.
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To see the results of this vote go here (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,5272.0.html).
The voting appears to be giving me the finger. Which makes sense, given the results.
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With this victory you now rock harder than Owl City.
Not a difficult mark to achieve, but still.
Stick around. You're good people.
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And now, for your entertainment, illegal in 18 states, my fat, white, cake-augmented ass (http://www.flickr.com/photos/17364018@N03/4153334283/). I'm not embedding the image here 'cause no one should have to see that unless they really want to.
Also, Oxford comma added because I usually eat chocolate cake.
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...but...but... It's not blue.
Also, swwweeeeeeeet!
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Have I ever mentioned that I love this board? Because I do
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My other thought on newbie of the year for next year... this latest member, V-Adore... potential darkhoss candidate?
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And now, for your entertainment, illegal in 18 states, my fat, white, cake-augmented ass (http://www.flickr.com/photos/17364018@N03/4153334283/). I'm not embedding the image here 'cause no one should have to see that unless they really want to.
Also, Oxford comma added because I usually eat chocolate cake.
Oh man I woudl. Why 'd uypu pt you rgbu bum up?
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The Can Deserves A Can.
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Oh man I woudl. Why 'd uypu pt you rgbu bum up?
Hmm, what, dear?
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Hmm, what, dear?
Sorry Bluemoon.
Completely I did comport myself as a gentleman there.
Your bum kind of reminded me of Sophie's hence the exclamations.
To re-iterate as well: why did you put your bum up? On the internet.
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Sorry Bluemoon.
Completely I did comport myself as a gentleman there.
Your bum kind of reminded me of Sophie's hence the exclamations.
To re-iterate as well: why did you put your bum up? On the internet.
Judy, no need to apologize. I kind of wish I could get drunk so I would know what you are experiencing right now. It looks fun and therapeutic, but I can't abide the taste of alcohol. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I put my bum up, on the internet, because I had put a picture of my clothed backside up a couple of weeks back, in response to Paul being cheeky. When I was nominated for n00b of the year, I promised I'd show it unclothed if I won. I'm not one to go back on my word, so there's my peachy bum for the world to see. I only wish it were several sizes smaller. Ah well, it is what it is.
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Judy, no need to apologize. I kind of wish I could get drunk so I would know what you are experiencing right now. It looks fun and therapeutic, but I can't abide the taste of alcohol. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I put my bum up, on the internet, because I had put a picture of my clothed backside up a couple of weeks back, in response to Paul being cheeky. When I was nominated for n00b of the year, I promised I'd show it unclothed if I won. I'm not one to go back on my word, so there's my peachy bum for the world to see. I only wish it were several sizes smaller. Ah well, it is what it is.
There is no such thing as a wrong girl's bum, it is what it is is right. We would not want you any other way.
That's an impressive promise. However, I can't help but feel that it has swayed votes in your favour. Perhaps if I had done the same I would have won my award by a bigger margin. Maybe next time.
Come to England, I'll buy you a pint of something which does not taste bad.
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That's an impressive promise. However, I can't help but feel that it has swayed votes in your favour.
If anything, I would think it would have ensured a win for any one of my competitors! Who the frig wants to see an overweight 36-year-old's butt?, I figured.
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Who the frig wants to see an overweight 36-year-old's butt?
How do you know that a 36-year-old's ass is bad?
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How do you know it's bad?
WHY FIND OUT?
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36! Man again I feel extremely young. You people.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EED. Goodnight.
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You've done yourself proud Moonie. That's a quality keister. And lets here no more of this "I wish it were smaller" talk. Your ass is nice and plump, just the way I love it.
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Am I the only one who is mildly creeped out by the accolades being heaped on blue's ass, here?
I mean, posting an ass picture is one thing, but...it seems that the proper behavior here is that thing guys do when they get caught staring at a chick's boobs: pretend to see nothing and make silent plans to masturbate later.
I have shown various body parts to many people while I have been intoxicated (one of the main reasons I now avoid drinking to excess) and I don't recall every having a group of people gather around to compliment my bits.
Except that one time when I group of Pedro's college suite-mates agreed that I had extremely nicely-shaped nipples. Come to think of it, maybe I just remember that because I was sober?
Carry on, then.
(Also: I think I woke up on the wrong side of the thesaurus this morning, WTF?)
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...that thing guys do when they get caught staring at a chick's boobs: pretend to see nothing and make silent plans to masturbate later.
Wait hold up. You guys (gals) know thats what were doing? fuck
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Am I the only one who is mildly creeped out by the accolades being heaped on blue's ass, here?
I think they're being gentlemanly. Also, now I'm trying to picture what a heap of accolades stacked on my ass would look like. Huh.
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I think they're being gentlemanly. Also, now I'm trying to picture what a heap of accolades stacked on my ass would look like. Huh.
It would look like a pyramid of tiny cans of Dr Pepper. Duh.
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Jealous, JL?
Listen, I promise that if you show us some (usually covered) body parts we'll heap accolades on them.
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I am having boudoir pics taken tomorrow night, we'll see what we can do.
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Bluemoon has gone above any beyond the call of
boo dut b duty.
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Didn't someone hatch a plan a few years back, saying we should all post pictures of ourselves without #####? I want to say it was Pedro, or maybe Choop.
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It was Pedro. Jough nixed it because we had a few underage members and he didn't want to go to jail.
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Plus I think the "Bewbies and Wang" threads are a little too Dumbrella for a classy joint like this.
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shutupshutupshutup
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It was Pedro. Jough nixed it because we had a few underage members and he didn't want to go to jail.
I did post one. It was extremely tasteful, as I recall.
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Here's the thread, but no pics.
http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,1028.0.html
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Quality olde tymez.
I'd have to photoshop off my thigh pimples. No one wants to see that.
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This whole thing really took a turn for the bizarre. I feel.....a little scandalized.
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Hmmm. Perhaps anyone who did not submit a trouserless photo the first time around should be required to submit one now...
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If I were more evil, I'd post "Sure! Here's mine!" with a goatse link.
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I can't believe I missed this. Congrats, BlueMoon.
I'm with AW on this. The first thread was before my time.
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Submitted without explanation bar the small snippet of info that I did not take this photo, which recovers some small scrap of dignity I suppose
(http://i49.tinypic.com/30250dc.jpg)
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somebody has been avoiding the sun.....
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somebody has been avoiding the sun.....
Oh you bitch!
This was taken a few days ago, it's a particularly miserable British winter, anytime I've been outside for the past 3 months I'm forced into wearing long sleeved tops/waterproofs. Anytime I have been out in the sun I've developed an horrific farmer's tan.
So excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess
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I am both paler than you and skinnier, so you win.
also hairier, which I guess is a toss-up.
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Submitted without explanation bar the small snippet of info that I did not take this photo, which recovers some small scrap of dignity I suppose
You sound so much more surly than you look. Awww, so young.
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I can't believe I missed this. Congrats, BlueMoon.
I'm with AW on this. The first thread was before my time.
Thanks, Toast! I completely agree--I didn't pursue it because some people seem to be getting squicked out, but I'm all for #####less photo day.
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You look kind of like the Incredible Hulk if he didn't actually have any powers and it was just that Doc Bruce Banner had a mental problem where when he got mad, he THOUGHT he turned into a super-beast of extraordinary magnitude and... physically stayed himself. Y'know. Acted like the Hulk but did not turn into him.
I actually mean this in a good way but I can't figure out how to properly express this in the paucity of meaning that is text-without-spoken-context.
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You sound so much more surly than you look. Awww, so young.
-feels embarrassed in front of the adults/real people-
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You look kind of like the Incredible Hulk if he didn't actually have any powers and it was just that Doc Bruce Banner had a mental problem where when he got mad, he THOUGHT he turned into a super-beast of extraordinary magnitude and... physically stayed himself. Y'know. Acted like the Hulk but did not turn into him.
To be fair, that is kind of how a lot blokes act when drunk. Maybe the Incredible Hulk was an allegory warning of the dangers of alcohol abuse?
I actually mean this in a good way but I can't figure out how to properly express this in the paucity of meaning that is text-without-spoken-context.
Are you coming onto me? I think you're coming on to me.
Sigh. I'm never posting trouser-less photos again.
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What is wrong with pale?
Do you think it is rad to have skin cancer?
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Sigh. I'm never posting trouser-less photos again.
You can just PM them to me, then.
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You can just PM them to me, then.
Rawr.
This is inspiring. I may have to use my lo-res web cam tonight...with sexy results.
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Rawr.
This is inspiring. I may have to use my lo-res web cam tonight...with sexy results.
Then my plan has worked.
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somebody has been avoiding the sun.....
But not the bottle liquor, apparently.
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Trust me, this will be uncomfortable. All my good under##### are awaiting the laundry, so not only will my thighs (which like a polar bear are creamy white and hairy) be on display, but I'll be without the complimentary sartorial livery with which to spice up the proceedings.
Translation: boxers with St. Bernards on them.
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Trust me, this will be uncomfortable. All my good under##### are awaiting the laundry, so not only will my thighs (which like a polar bear are creamy white and hairy) be on display, but I'll be without the complimentary sartorial livery with which to spice up the proceedings.
Translation: boxers with St. Bernards on them.
Alllll riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. TedStriker steppin' up the game.
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i didnt say there was anything wrong with dudes' skin color. take a chill pill, bill and jill.
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Submitted almost completely without comment, as I'm now off to bed. Early morning tomorrow.
(http://spearandmagichelmet.wordpress.com/files/2009/12/touamb-goof.jpg)
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Submitted almost completely without comment, as I'm now off to bed. Early morning tomorrow.
(http://spearandmagichelmet.wordpress.com/files/2009/12/touamb-goof.jpg)
Where's the full frontal?
Nonetheless appreciated!
Where's the rest of ya shrinking violets?
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Where's the full frontal?
I posted this (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3623/3653719243_cd61232bff_b.jpg) photo over at Flickr a few months ago.
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this (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=94347369&albumID=513424&imageID=689605) is all i have for now and its like....... 4 years old. maybe ill get more generous later.....
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I searched everywhere for my original no ##### picture and can't find it. Unless Pedro still has it somewhere, it's not happening, because there is no way I am going to try to reproduce it in the middle of the winter.
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Submitted almost completely without comment, as I'm now off to bed. Early morning tomorrow.
*wolf whistle* Looks like you're making a kissyface at us.
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I posted this (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3623/3653719243_cd61232bff_b.jpg) photo over at Flickr a few months ago.
See, this is the kind of bravery we need more of. NICE, Paul!
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I love you Paul, you have raised the bar.
I may or may not attempt to jump over it later. This will need to be creative
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I searched everywhere for my original no ##### picture and can't find it. Unless Pedro still has it somewhere, it's not happening, because there is no way I am going to try to reproduce it in the middle of the winter.
I saved all of those pics from back in the day, but it was an annonymous thing then so I don't know who is who. Let me see if I can find them.
Ok, I found them and I'm pretty sure I know which is you Wombat.
Is this it?
(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4037/4193094302_55e2f8b606.jpg)
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I saved all of those pics...
Now there's a shocker.
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Do you have mine? It's the one with the boots.
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Do you have mine? It's the one with the boots.
That was you? I wouldn't have guessed. Did you want me to post it?
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S'il vous plait, monsieur.
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I'll just post 'em all.
Here's Jay-ell
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2662/4192418579_d440350fdc.jpg)
I strongly suspect this is Andalucia, but I'm not sure
(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4048/4192427071_47a359942f.jpg)
Bozak?
(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4009/4193189074_413a3d6817.jpg)
Who's the wise guy?
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2651/4193189060_67cee2d559.jpg)
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I'll just post 'em all.
Here's Jay-ell
Oh, knobby knees. You had fewer scars back then, but you were still funky as always.
Also, I'm not sure whether the bit just above the hat is a pudge roll. I think, given that this was taken in my pre-baby days, it was probably forearm.
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Ok, I found them and I'm pretty sure I know which is you Wombat.
Is this it?
Yes!
You see why I was unwilling to re-take it when we're about to have ten inches of snow.
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You see why I was unwilling to re-take it when we're about to have ten inches of snow.
Well yes, but you could do something similar inside the house and use the pugs to hide your shame.
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Kind of like this, you mean?
http://www.sheldoncomics.com/forums/sheldontalk/7137/ (http://www.sheldoncomics.com/forums/sheldontalk/7137/)
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Kind of like this, you mean?
http://www.sheldoncomics.com/forums/sheldontalk/7137/ (http://www.sheldoncomics.com/forums/sheldontalk/7137/)
Yes exactly, except, you know, without #####.
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I am struggling to come up with one of these that is neither cringe inducing, nor tired and derivative. It would be nice if my ancestors had seen fit to grace me with some photogenic anatomy as well.
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Hm. I am now half-way home and left my camera in my apartment.
I will come up with some clever way to do this. You will all see my skinny legs and increasing stomach.
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until I get it together and edit my old roomates out of a group picture where we are all in boxers, here is a shot that shows my pale skin and skinniness.
also: I am pretty sure we just decided to dress like this, for no reason. Wow, I just realized this picture is almost 2 years old.
(i am the greaser with the A-shirt)
(http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v196/83/119/3112976/n3112976_32787543_1603.jpg)
also: nowadays my arms are a little thicker, and my ##### are a little tighter.
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You see why I was unwilling to re-take it when we're about to have ten inches of snow.
Wimp.
(http://i46.tinypic.com/300xqw8.jpg)
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Wimp.
(http://i46.tinypic.com/300xqw8.jpg)
OK, you get a few cans for that.
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There are people in all of those windows. I know this is easy to forget sometimes.
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Those people are snowed-in and bored. It's a public service.
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OK, you get a few cans for that.
We ALL got cans. Mr. Trout got tiny cans of Dr. Pepper, and the rest of us got Mr. Trout's cans.
Also, Trout wins the thread.
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yeah, dude. guts.
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I had something I thought would trump all entries in terms of trouserlessness in ridiculous places, but I have nothing currently available to top that. At least until it snows here.
You have strong beans boss
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SO good, Mr. Trout. So very, very good.
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if the reactions are any indication, mr trout won the "best post of '10" already.....
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Perhaps this (http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1636/106/117/779015721/n779015721_5217287_7903.jpg) is good enough, despite not being able to see the actual pantlessness. I was practicing my "locker-room pervert" costume and persona for my Halloween-eve costume. It is just acting, please don't view me as an actual sexual deviant.
The joke was that one buddy in a group of friends was a locker room pervert at the gym, so I dressed up as him.
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Perhaps this (http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1636/106/117/779015721/n779015721_5217287_7903.jpg) is good enough, despite not being able to see the actual pantlessness. I was practicing my "locker-room pervert" costume and persona for my Halloween-eve costume. It is just acting, please don't view me as an actual sexual deviant.
The joke was that one buddy in a group of friends was a locker room pervert at the gym, so I dressed up as him.
I didn't read any of your post, but wow, you look like such a perverted sexual deviant.
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that is one awesome moustache, robogo
it's real isn't it if it isn't real it isn't awesome
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a locker room pervert at the gym
Is that the guy that washes his junk in the sink, then spends way too long applying body powder to himself?
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Is that the guy that washes his junk in the sink, then spends way too long applying body powder to himself?
I'm guessing it's the guy whose eyes linger too low and too long.
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Of course my mustache is real, wearing a fake mustache would be like... equivalent to wearing blackface.
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fan-TAST-ic. So impressed by stones it took to show your cheeks.