I had hoped this would be about the Actual End-Times, so that I could point out the Total Coincedence that Jesus died at 33 and I will be 33 when the Mayan calendar ends.

Instead we end up with another one of Terry's Clues That He Has Been Around Awhile.

Man.

Another lost opportunity to insinuate myself as a Messianic figure. Nurtz.

By all means, go ahead with your claims to Messiah-hood and theories on the end-times. I don't want my mere presence in a thread to set off these crazy accusations that I was a previous member here, or set off discussion of said topic.

Current toddler status, 3/14
She is two today. My gift to her? No more cussing around the house unless my arm is absolutely on fire.

1.

It was Topper.

NERK. That one was right, though to be honest it was more a half-pint of Coke chat than a blokey full-on pint discussion. He was very agreeable.

#3 is the no-no. It was only in my county that I was top, which is much less of an achievement considering we're pretty much all descended from the same four people. Farmers, no less.

We don't use it year-round because then it stays dark too long in the morning and kids have to wait for the school bus with flashlights.

For reasons beyond my explanation, when I was kid I fervently, desperately wished that I'd have to wait in the dark for the schoolbus, or have lessons at school when it was dark. Is this universal? Please tell me it is.

This line of thinking IS part of why I would be not-turned-on if a lady walked into the room, ripped off her panties with her bare hands and started brandishing her pu$$y toward me as though it were a deadly fuck*ng weapon.

Hell man, your deadly weapon is bigger. You show that pu$$y who's boss.

Until the age of seven I believed women conceived by having the dude piss (urinate? Is that better?) all over their stomachs. This was the result of some poorly explained, imaginative information from my parents, who obviously weren't content leaving me wondering exactly how special that special cuddle was.

Of course, it was only relatively recently that I learned about a certain sexual fetish which may involve the more golden side of a male's liquid parts. I try not to apply this to the people who brought me into this cruel, ironic world.