Today I'm gonna realize that I really do hate all this Hamlet bullshit, all these cycles of anxiety and procras
Here goes nothing:
This will sound funny, but I think you need to suffer more. Actually, erase that. You need to suffer
better. Physically, is what I mean.
So: Take care of your body first. Pick something that won't be too hard on you and keep doing it. Do it mindlessly, doesn't matter, just do it. It could be even just walking, but do it everyday. If you lack the willpower, make it so that you *have* to do it (for instance, I'm going and coming from work in my bike. It's tough as hell but it tricks me into using the goddam thing everyday). Don't worry about the big picture yet; prioritize your body. Do something everyday and keep doing it - and if it hurts that's even better. Also I can't emphasize this enough: stop eating crap (pizza, burgers etc). Don't kid yourself even for an instant into thinking that this is not a matter of life and death,
because it fuck*ng is. You should know it is. And don't expect short term results, try to think how this is going to pay off in two years, for instance (I saw your video; you're a huge motherfucker). So yeah. this is my big advice: Eat better and exercise. Nobody is gonna come and extend their hand to you and help you magically. You're alone, motherfucker. And fuck you if you think this has nothing to do with your problems.
There, a nice block of text for you to ignore.