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Author Topic: The Worst Fifteen Songs  (Read 17293 times)

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V-Adore

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The Worst Fifteen Songs
« Reply #15 on: August 06, 2004, 10:01:54 pm »

Okay! First off, the songs on others' lists so far that I genuinely enjoy: "Dead," "Shiny Happy People," and "Hope." (I also sort of like "Airportman" and "Parakeet," and I remain fascinated by the fact that everyone agrees that there were one or two reprehensible songs on Up but nobody can agree which songs they are. For my money, the loser is "You're In the Air," but that may be because it breaks a really great progression of music before it. Track placement tends to totally create or destroy songs for me. Then again, I also like "The Wrong Child," so I am fully considering that I might be a Philistine.)

Anyway, on to my Bad Album (with two R.E.M. songs because I couldn't choose and they're on the opposite sides of their spectrum):

R.E.M., "Everybody Hurts" -- I realize this is a personal thing, but this kind of drags for me. I might like it more were it not so obviously much more insipid than the material around it.

R.E.M., "Tongue" -- This is probably my least favorite R.E.M. song ever, although I may be forgetting some of the more forgettable tracks off of Reveal. I have a live cover of it, and it's not bad musically, but the lyrics are just... "Ugly girls know their fate / anybody can get laid?" You guys should be ashamed of yourselves for writing lyrics that bad.

Moxy Fruvous, "When She Talks" -- Like several others on the list, this is not so much an objectively horrible track as much as an immensely disappointing one. Thornhill is an album full of tuneful songs and authentic-ringing lyrics; this sits in the middle of the disk and goddamn drags, and it's of the "man totally awed by perfect unapproachable woman and finding excuses not to return her interest" genre which I wish would just die.

Radiohead, "Fitter Happier" -- Yes, I know this is supposed to creep me out. This doesn't mean I have any respect for it at all.

Ben Folds Five, "Brick" -- Another case of "single I used to like and probably would like more if I didn't know how well the band could do otherwise." Folds is a dynamic performer but is just so buried in murk in this track that it's become sort of unlistenable for me.

TMBG, "Unrelated Thing" -- This may be another one that I hate because of its album placement. John Henry gets off to a fast, exciting start -- and then we hit "Unrelated Thing" and everything just dies.

Thomas Dolby, "Hot Sauce" -- Kind of fun, if stupid, but absolutely unforgivable on the same album as "Budapest By Blimp."

Raised By Wolves, "Roses Are Red" -- I like Shane working slow, but not this slow. I could accept it if the lyrics were up to his usual caliber, but they don't exactly go anywhere either. Sigh.

Octothorpe, "Red *****" -- HOLY SHIT STOP IT WITH THE CHIRPING DING NOISES. This song makes me want to kill things.

Semisonic, "Surprise" -- To be totally fair, this might be one of the best tracks on the disk; like "Hot Sauce," it's not a bad song on its own, just bland and disappointing from a band that can do better. (I last listened to All About Chemistry a week ago and had to pop the disk in again just to remember which song this was.)

Natalie Merchant, "The Worst Thing" -- For God's sake! When your album has a song about lynching and a song about Henry Goddamn Darger, if you want to play the "love sucks" card, you'd better do it goddamn better than this.

Cake, "Race Car Ya-Yas" -- I know this is a gag song. But there's still no excuse for "fuzzy dice hang proudly like testicles from rear-view mirrors."

Five Iron Frenzy, "Wizard Needs Food Badly" -- Maybe this is disingenuous, since I'm not all that fond of FIF, but when they're on, they're on. "Wizard" is everything they are when they're off -- formulaic, trite, smarmy, and infuriating. Also, absolutely no good at writing lyrics at all ("I think a motorcycle's a good way to die / This must bereave you").

This made me realize that there aren't that many songs I really hate from bands I like; some of these are just disappointments, really, or personal bitterness. But this has spurred me on to remember this list and start purging MP3s.
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Carlos del Vaca

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« Reply #16 on: August 07, 2004, 02:01:09 am »

Quote from: "Limmo"
My Sarcasm Detector is in the shop getting a new meter installed, so I can't tell if you're kidding or not.


I'm not, actually.  I'm not claiming it's high art or anything, but I think it's a fun song.
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« Reply #17 on: August 07, 2004, 02:46:16 am »

Quote from: "carlosdelvaca"
Quote from: "Limmo"
My Sarcasm Detector is in the shop getting a new meter installed, so I can't tell if you're kidding or not.


I'm not, actually.  I'm not claiming it's high art or anything, but I think it's a fun song.


I've gotta agree, but then I've spent a fair ammount of time drunk and enjoying the Judgement Night soundtrack, too.  

But then I know I must be a philistine, since Washington, DC is one of my favorite tracks on that Magnetic Fields disc.
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« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2004, 02:15:58 am »

Quote from: "St_Zartan"
Quote from: "arkabee"
1. Luna- "Bonnie and Clyde".  I think it's on Penthouse.  It's the one about Bonnie and Clyde with the French(?) lady Singing(?).


That's Laetitia Sadier of Stereolab singing on that track. For some reason, this song was chucked in on the end of a Stereolab Peel Sessions bootleg disc I bought a few years back. It grew on me, but then again I am pretty damn weak-willed when it comes to female voices with lovely accents. I'm willing to admit that musically it pretty much goes nowhere.


If it's the song I'm thinking of, it's a cover of a song originally done by Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot. I can't imagine any cover of that being good.
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« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2004, 10:31:05 am »

Quote from: "St_Zartan"

4. Saint Etienne, Soft Like Me. What really makes me dislike a song is when it could have been really quite good indeed if not for one bit of indulgence that fuck*ng ruins it. In this case, the awful awful lyrics that are being rapped by some guest vocalist.


I agree about this one.. I always skip it after that first listen.  I was thinking 'wtf?!'... really, on that album I mostly stick to the tracks with that butler guy at the beginning.. now, -achewood relating!- it reminds me of waterbury.. ahah.

---

As for my own picks (I've actually never thought about this, so I must go do some research with my collection.. please hold..... okay!):
1. Berg Sans Nipple - stimulus plan b.  it's basically just buzzing in and out... like a radio with mumbling.  dj-ish.  I just found it cringe worthy at first.  I did find 'something' to like about it at one point.. that fact that the word 'corruption' is uttered somewhere towards the end, but I still find it hard to listen to despite how much I see how this song works on certain levels when this is SUCH a good album.

2. Boards of Canada - You Could Feel the Sky.  even the clips are better than this crap!  really, I didn't even throw a big fit over it upon first listen till my mom walked in while it was playing one day and said it sounded like someone ripping a fart... and it did, so I can no longer listen to it anymore.

3. Bonnie 'prince' Billy - A Minor Place.  it's just a bad song to start the album with really... it's rather boring compared to all the other tracks, so I almost got disappointed in my choice in buying it on a whim.  I calmed down once it ended and the real fun began.

4. Cure, The- Close To Me.  sorry, but I've never liked this song from the moment I heard it in middle school when it played over and over on the radio.  probably why it took years for me to get into The Cure and become a fan around '99 since I heard a letter to elise which changed my ways.

5. Interpol - Say Hello to the Angels.  this one is hard to explain since I think most people do like it since it's different, bouncy, has a catch just like the others.  really, Roland should be disliked more since it doesn't have anything to make ya remember it.  it's just that 'SHthA' just doesn't do it for me no matter how much I tried to like it.

6. Knife in the Water - Nevada Spider.  this is still one of my fav. bands (people gawk at me just for sayin' this thinking 'you have shown how good your tastes can be.. why??  you can do better than that!' ..ah well), but this song is just boring.  sorry.

7. M83 - In Church.  an incident while messing about with someone.. it began playing then they asked me "have you ever wanted to do it in a church?" and I switched the song.

8. Manic Street Preachers - The Intense Humming of Evil.  really, it just creeps me the HELL out.  it's weird that the album as a whole doesn't, but cause of the beginning clip, this one does.  in fact, since it's rather late, I didn't even put it on to listen again cause I didn't want to get creeped out at this hour.. I'm already hearing weird noises.

9. Radiohead - Street Spirit (fade out).  this is probably sacrilege, but it's just the way it goes sometimes...

10. Red House Painters - Song for a Blue Guitar.  yes, basically the title track.  this isn't even my fav. album by them, but see, the others I have are rather complete, so I cannot think of anything I dislike off of them.  this track just..... doesn't do it for me.  I think it's the girl dueting in the song; I'm not too big of a fan of duets in general -- later on, I did think maybe, just maybe I'd like it if it were by another band.  when I first heard it, I didn't even want to hear another Red House Painters song, but good thing I was persuaded otherwise.

Speaking of duets....
11. Tindersticks - Travelling Light.  this one is almost laughable!  especially when it sounds like they're arguing towards the end.  "her: it's just a lie.  you don't travel light.  him: I'm travellin' light.  her: no, you don't travel light.  him: I travel light.  her: no, no you don't travel light.  him: I'm travellin' light.  her: you don't travel light"  hahahah.  I much prefer their first s/t album since there isn't one duet on there (that I can remember... no, I don't think there is -- waits for a guy to argue with me about this and we can duet it).

14. Spoon - Anything You Want.  it's basically the piano tune is too cheesy which is amusing since my sheep song has basically the same simple keynotes yet my song is not cheesy!  I guess the only saving grace is that it mentions 'sound exchange' at the end which I just noticed... well, they are a Tx band, so it would figure.

13. Twilight Singers - verti-marte.  actually, when I first noticed this song, it was while I was messing about with someone (yes another story), heard the 'ooooa ooooa's (not sure how to type out this noise) in the background and had to turn it off... cause of giggling.  at some points it can be okay, but I still skip it for the most part though my mom said that's just how the bird sings sounds like Simon & Garfunkel which made me want to skip that one, too (I don't mind some S&G, but I tend to dislike songs that sound like them; not that this one entirely does, but cause I was told it does).. it would probably be top hated if not for the weird occurence during a bad time with this track.

14. Wilco - Less Than You Think.  I actually do like it till the long ass droning begins way less (hah!) than midway through which makes me skip it after the beginning each time.  a disappointment.  I hate most albums who do that droning thing where it seems there is no change till the end perhaps you get a 'click' noise or someone speaks or there's the sound of a car... I hate this... why??  (it also happened on a Carissa's Wierd album).

15. Wrens, The- Indie 500.  I just don't like the 'racing' piano sound -- it makes me think of hoss races.. I know that's part of the gimmick going by the title, but I just am not a fan.  a close second would be Hats Off To Marriage, Baby!.
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St_Zartan

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« Reply #20 on: August 08, 2004, 02:43:07 pm »

Quote from: "starlight"
2. Boards of Canada - You Could Feel the Sky.  even the clips are better than this crap!  really, I didn't even throw a big fit over it upon first listen till my mom walked in while it was playing one day and said it sounded like someone ripping a fart... and it did, so I can no longer listen to it anymore.


I actually looked really hard at my Boards of Canada collection, but I really couldn't bring myself to single out a song (and realizing, in the process, that I didn't know the names of almost all of them) for humiliation. The albums, to me, work so well as pieces. Even if a track doesn't stand alone terribly well, it feels appropriate within the context. Yeah, Dawn Chorus is an extremely tough act to follow.

So can anyone tell me what's the deal with A Few Old Tunes Vol. 2? Fake or not, they're terrific tracks.

Quote from: "starlight"
9. Radiohead - Street Spirit (fade out).  this is probably sacrilege, but it's just the way it goes sometimes...


I could see, if someone didn't like Radiohead to begin with, how they could point to this track as being, well, really fuck*ng Radiohead, you know? But I'm just not feeling the hate on this one. Lovely video clip as well.

Quote from: "starlight"
I guess the only saving grace is that it mentions 'sound exchange' at the end which I just noticed...


Sound Exchange employees can all eat a great big bag of dicks.
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« Reply #21 on: August 08, 2004, 04:44:06 pm »

Okay, I am restricting my list to "Really Horrible fuck*ng Songs on Otherwise Really fuck*ng Great Albums" because otherwise I'd be here all day trying to narrow-down my bottom 15.

Nirvana - "Something in the Way" - Yeah, it's inoffensive and it is at least on the end of the album.  And there's that non-song at the end of it if you wait for 20 minutes of silence first - but c'mon.   This sullies an otherwise great album.

Radiohead - "Fitter Happier" - This was cute once.  ONCE.  But it is forever skipped afterwards.  Actually, confession: I loved this album SOFA KING MUCH and played it ALL THE DAMN TIME that I actually burned a copy that did NOT contain either "Fitter Happier" or "Climbing Up the Walls," the latter of which was at least partially listenable and at least was a SONG.

Morrissey - "Sorrow Will Come in the End" - I'm breaking from the "great fuck*ng album" necessisity for a minute to talk about a laughably bad track from just a mediocre album (although when compared to Southpaw Grammar, Maladjusted is a fuck*ng classic).  But c'mon, LAWYER <whipcrack> LIAR <whip> LAWYER <whip> LIAR <whip>.  Sorrow won't come in the end - it will come when you listen to this track!

Morphine - "The Jury" - I think there may be a theme here with a lot of "talky" tracks on otherwise very melodic and terrificlly played albums.  What is it with these bands that they think these novelty tracks belong on an album, i.e. something I may want to play as a whole more than once?  

Belle & Sebastian - "A Space Boy Dream" / "Dirty Dream Number Two" - A one-two punch of SUCK right in the middle of one of the best albums of the 90s.  Again, more talking.  Oh yeah, and you can add the entire fuck*ng Looper album to the list too.

Blur - "Theme From Retro" - What the mother FUCK is this SHIT?

Pixies - "Monkey Gone to Heaven" - Okay, time for a little sacrilege. I have always hated this song, and can't believe it is so popular and loved.  Someone please explain this to me, because I otherwise love the Pixies with the passion I usually reserve for a good woman.

Bruce Springsteen - "Darlington County" - Perhaps I don't have such IRE for this song, but its deletion improves Born in the U.S.A..

R.E.M. - "New Orleans Instrumental #1" - But only because I had to pick one.  Add the entire Reveal album to this list, though.

Soul Coughing - "Paint" - PAINT! <doot doot doodle doo do doot doo dooooo>

Air - "Sexy Boy" - Their only hit, and the only song that DOES NOT BELONG ON THIS ALBUM.  It just kills the mood.  TOTALLY.

Frank Zappa - "Stink Foot" - Here Fido, this song is sucking Fido!

Pearl Jam - "Leash" - I know they're much maligned these days, but the first two PJ albums were actually hell of kicking.  To pick a song from any album after that is just too easy, so I chose "Leash" off of their second album.

Beatles - "Wild Honey Pie" - Many would put "Revolution 9" here, but no, that one at least is odd.  This one is just GRATING ON MY NERVES.

Jewel - "Daddy" - Go ahead and PSYCHO analyse me.  Man, Jewel is just too hot, though.  I bet she yodels when she comes.


Alright, there's a quick 15.  I'm sure I could come up with more loathesome tracks later.

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« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2004, 07:09:42 pm »

Quote from: "Limmo"
We can still be friends, though, because I'm suuuuure there will be at least one song on your fit fifteen list that I will disagree just as violently with. Whenever you post it.


Quote from: "jough"
Nirvana - "Something in the Way" - Yeah, it's inoffensive and it is at least on the end of the album. And there's that non-song at the end of it if you wait for 20 minutes of silence first - but c'mon. This sullies an otherwise great album.


See what I mean?
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V-Adore

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« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2004, 08:33:51 pm »

Quote from: "jough"
R.E.M. - "New Orleans Instrumental #1" - But only because I had to pick one.  Add the entire Reveal album to this list, though.

Yeah, I have to agree. I think there's nothing wrong with "NOI#1" as a song, and I would probably enjoy it if it came from a band I respected less or was on a less good R.E.M. album, but on fuck*ng Automatic? Just a giant case of "man, you guys can do better." I'd cut them more slack, but shit, this is a band entirely capable of producing perfect albums.

Anyway, at the risk of taking this thread into previously-trod R.E.M.-babble, I'll just note that there are several tracks of Reveal which I will defend. "Imitation of Life" is a perfectly good single, and I have genuine, if guilty, affection for "Saturn Return" and "Chorus and the Ring."  I have heard covers of "The Lifting" and "All the Way to Reno" which were pleasing. The rest of Reveal is not worth defending, as I honestly can't remember most of it.
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« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2004, 09:54:21 pm »

Quote from: "jough"

Belle & Sebastian - "A Space Boy Dream" / "Dirty Dream Number Two" - A one-two punch of SUCK right in the middle of one of the best albums of the 90s.  Again, more talking.  Oh yeah, and you can add the entire fuck*ng Looper album to the list too.


HAHAHA, there are TWO Looper albums! I OWN THEM BOTH!!!

Okay, I can't really narrow mine down, but for the next hour, I'm going to be doing schoolwork and listening to music, and every time I skip a song that I hate, I will record it here.

1. Sex and Dying in High Society- X
Okay, I know that I'm a dick, but I really don't like "Los Angeles/Wild Gift" era X. "More Fun In The New World" is one of my favorite albums, but I just can't get into this. At this point, the whole John Doe/that chick duet thing is growing old, and the fact that the chorus is them yelling the title of the song over this god-awful synthesized high note.....shit, man. GOD.

2. Wet, Wet, Wet- Badly Drawn Boy
Okay, this is actually a relatively non-offensive short ditty, but I feel I must complain: dammit, BDB, "The Hour of Bewilderbeast" was such a good album, and then you did two albums of entirely forgettable material. And you won't take that damn hat off.

3. Sue Me, Jack- Again, just a weak song on an awesome album.

4. Southern Hospitality- Kronos Quartet, from the Requiem for a Dream OST.
Clint Mansell is the poor man's Philip Glass.

5. Here Comes You Man (Pixies Cover)- SamIAm
Why in the FUCK did I BUY this ALBUM?

6. even/odd- the Rachels
Even though I'm all about hometown pride, I really don't like the new Rachels. If I wanted to listen to minimalism, I can listen to actual minimalists, not ex-pop indie kids.

7. Emanuelle Skating on Thin Ice- The Gentle Waves
This song gave me a pu$$y.

8. My *****- Looper
I'm going to have to go with Jough here and say that a Scottish dude talking over bad techno does not a good song make.

9. Come a Little Dog- Palace Music
As much as I like Palace Music/Bonnie "Prince" Billy/Will Oldham (Starlight, I LOVE "A Minor Place"! DAMN YOUS), this one is pushing it. It's just Oldham saying, "Kill a little cat, come a little dog." and barking. W.T.F.

10. Drinking in LA- Bran Van 3000
God, let's all agree that randomly inserting rappers into songs that do not require them SUCKS.

11. Blast Off- Frank Black & the Catholics
Frank Black's creepy-ass spoken delivery here just freaks me out. I can see his little egg head right now. I see it, even when I close my eyes.

12. Good Love Never Dies- Liz Phair
I'm no Pitchfork Media; I actually thought that there were some good songs off of the new Liz Phair. This isn't one of them.

13. Free Nelson Mandela- The Specials
This is what it sounds like when mighty fall.

14. A Century of Fakers- Belle & Sebastian
This song is the sort of thing really popular among people who think the word "bourgeois" means something. I think it's shit.

15. Modem Song- Looper
God DAMMIT, I now hate this band. Does anyone want my CDs?
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starlight

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« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2004, 10:09:28 pm »

Quote from: "St_Zartan"
Quote from: "starlight"
2. Boards of Canada - You Could Feel the Sky.  even the clips are better than this crap!  really, I didn't even throw a big fit over it upon first listen till my mom walked in while it was playing one day and said it sounded like someone ripping a fart... and it did, so I can no longer listen to it anymore.


I actually looked really hard at my Boards of Canada collection, but I really couldn't bring myself to single out a song (and realizing, in the process, that I didn't know the names of almost all of them) for humiliation. The albums, to me, work so well as pieces. Even if a track doesn't stand alone terribly well, it feels appropriate within the context. Yeah, Dawn Chorus is an extremely tough act to follow.

So can anyone tell me what's the deal with A Few Old Tunes Vol. 2? Fake or not, they're terrific tracks.

Quote from: "starlight"
9. Radiohead - Street Spirit (fade out).  this is probably sacrilege, but it's just the way it goes sometimes...


I could see, if someone didn't like Radiohead to begin with, how they could point to this track as being, well, really fuck*ng Radiohead, you know? But I'm just not feeling the hate on this one. Lovely video clip as well.

Quote from: "starlight"
I guess the only saving grace is that it mentions 'sound exchange' at the end which I just noticed...


Sound Exchange employees can all eat a great big bag of dicks.


1.  yeah, see, I see it that way too with BoC -- that they're pieces to listen to as a whole, but that track... that track just isn't at all listenable.
I've never heard of A Few Old Tunes Vol. 2, soooo I couldn't say... I did hear they were supposed to produce a new album soon, but I haven't heard a thing about it in forever.  the last sort've new BoC related track I have is that Cloudhead one... I could've done without the rappers who sound like alvin and the chipmunks, but I did like the beat BoC did on it.

2. reason I said this was sacrelige... especially since I WAS a really big radiohead fan.. I say was cause I haven't entirely been impressed by any of their stuff in a long time... not since this bootleg I got in '99 of their rare songs.  I even like Creep better than Street Spirit :\

3. is Sound Exchange bad or something?  I've never been there, but heard it had some good obscure stuff, so I was thinking of checking it out sometime, but if it sucks..... hm
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« Reply #26 on: August 11, 2004, 04:06:12 am »

I. Blondie - (I'm alway's touched by your) Presence Dear
 
II. The Beatles - The Ballad of John and Yoko

III. The Doors - The Soft Parade  (even when I liked the Doors, I knew that whole album sucked balls.  In particular, the song the album was named after is indeed a candidate for the title of Worst Song Played on Ugliest Guitar.

IV.  Again, The Doors - Peace Frog

V.  Elvis Presley - Wooden Heart.  Elvis, don't wear Lederhosen!

VI.  Leonard Cohen - The Captain

VII.  Moby - Jam for the Ladies.  Moby, you ain't a motha-fuckin' P.I.M.P., so don't even try.

VIII. O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack - In the Highway's by the anoying kids.  

IX. Pink Floyd - Paint Box

X.  They Might Be Giant's - Particle Man.  

XI.  Wall of Voodoo - Look at their way.

XII.  Primal Scream - Come together.  I don't want this on the Trainspotting soundtrack.

XIII.  Neil Young - A man needs a maid.  

XIV.  Star Wars Soundtrack - Parade of the Ewoks.  I do not need to be reminded that these things exist in the Star Wars universe.

XV.  Radiohead - Idioteque
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V-Adore

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« Reply #27 on: August 11, 2004, 05:45:34 am »

Man, I am sorry, Mantonio, but "Idioteque" is basically like treasure and you can't convince me otherwise.

Also, "Particle Man" is a fun song. It would be more fun if it wasn't one of The Only Two TMBG Songs Most People Know, but shit, I bought my first TMBG album (Severe Tire Damage) for it and fell in love, so I can't hate it.
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The Worst Fifteen Songs
« Reply #28 on: August 11, 2004, 05:46:23 am »

This post demonstrates my modly commitment to hitting "Quote" and not "Edit" and not noticing it until some sort of wiseass points it out. So there.
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AlohaDawg

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The Worst Fifteen Songs
« Reply #29 on: August 11, 2004, 07:15:14 am »

That is a strong commitment to a post, for a mod to quote herself with no added text.
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