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[linnea]

Bwahahaha. Oh man, I have to post this journal entry. It's the best ever.

First of all, Suicidegirls is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. It's a rad amateur pr0n site of badass punkrock girls. I love it. Anyway, this one adorable girl posted a journal entry that I thought was fuck*ng GREAT.

i would love to relate for you kittens a scenario which took place in a bathroom just yesterday:

i, Lacey, have to pee. i enter a potty-room, as is protocol in these such situations. the solitary stall is occupied. i can see from under the door that this time-usurper is wearing keds. keds! anyway, i sit up on the counter to wait. moments turn into minutes. i have yet to hear any urination taking place. then, suddenly:

woman in stall: excuse me, would you mind stepping out for a minute?

Lacey: are you talking to me?

WIS: yes. i have trouble going when someone is watching.

Lacey: i'm not watching. i'm waiting to use the toilet.

WIS: well, i can't go if someone else is in the room.

Lacey: that's pretty fucked.

WIS: i know. it's just this weird issue i have.

Lacey: perhaps you need to see a therapist about that.

WIS: you're probably right. but anyway, could you leave?

Lacey: why don't you just let me go first? then you don't have to worry about anyone being in the room.

WIS: it's probably no use now anyway, now that i'm all shaken up about it. i guess i'll just go later. sorry about the trouble.

Lacey: whatever dude. it's just pee.

---

love and fucks,
Laceypotty

Pure comedy gold. I wish I could meet rad girls like lacey to go to shows with and drink PBR and talk about obscure bands with. <3 <3 <3 I doubt very much that there will be girls like her in a rural Alaskan village. And there probably aren't any good shows in a tiny giraffeing hamlet.  But at least I can dream, and I can strive to be as much of a badass as I possibly can be up in the Last Frontier.

[jough]

Lacey sounds like my kind of girl.  I love that she signs things "Love and fucks."

Anyway, she's right.  Any woman who wears Keds doesn't deserve to be treated well.

Keds say "I do not value myself.  I am worthless."

[V-Adore]

Shameful confession: I am not entirely comfortable in public restrooms if someone else is in there. Not to the point of, er, halting the flow (of traffic) or anything, but still.

Also I do not wear Keds, ever.

[Bozack]

Shameful confession: I can't pee UNLESS someone's looking at my dick. So usually I have to wait for a while, but sometimes I'll just ask.

[jough]

Bozack, you are teh funny.

With that, I'm off.

You kids be good!

[TALKYdude]

Augh, jough. Enjoy your time in LONDON, LONDRES, LONDON.

[TALKYdude]

As a delicate concession to this unfortunately-born foreigner, Mr Podsnap, in receiving him, had presented his wife as 'Madame Podsnap;' also his daughter as 'Mademoiselle Podsnap,' with some inclination to add 'ma fille,' in which bold venture, however, he checked himself. The Veneerings being at that time the only other arrivals, he had added (in a condescendingly explanatory manner),

'Monsieur Vey-nair-reeng,' and had then subsided into English.

'How Do You Like London?' Mr Podsnap now inquired from his station of host, as if he were administering something in the nature of a powder or potion to the deaf child; 'London, Londres, London?'

The foreign gentleman admired it.

'You find it Very Large?' said Mr Podsnap, spaciously.

The foreign gentleman found it very large.

'And Very Rich?'

The foreign gentleman found it, without doubt, enormement riche.

'Enormously Rich, We say,' returned Mr Podsnap, in a condescending manner. 'Our English adverbs do Not terminate in Mong, and We Pronounce the "ch" as if there were a "t" before it. We say Ritch.'

'Reetch,' remarked the foreign gentleman.

'And Do You Find, Sir,' pursued Mr Podsnap, with dignity, 'Many Evidences that Strike You, of our British Constitution in the Streets Of The World's Metropolis, London, Londres, London?'

The foreign gentleman begged to be pardoned, but did not altogether understand.

'The Constitution Britannique,' Mr Podsnap explained, as if he were teaching in an infant school.' We Say British, But You Say Britannique, You Know' (forgivingly, as if that were not his fault).

'The Constitution, Sir.'

The foreign gentleman said, 'Mais, yees; I know eem.'

A youngish sallowish gentleman in spectacles, with a lumpy forehead, seated in a supplementary chair at a corner of the table, here caused a profound sensation by saying, in a raised voice,

'ESKER,' and then stopping dead.

'Mais oui,' said the foreign gentleman, turning towards him. 'Est-ce que? Quoi donc?'

But the gentleman with the lumpy forehead having for the time delivered himself of all that he found behind his lumps, spake for the time no more.

'I Was Inquiring,' said Mr Podsnap, resuming the thread of his discourse, 'Whether You Have Observed in our Streets as We should say, Upon our Pavvy as You would say, any Tokens--'

The foreign gentleman, with patient courtesy entreated pardon;

'But what was tokenz?'

'Marks,' said Mr Podsnap; 'Signs, you know, Appearances-- Traces.'

'Ah! Of a Orse?' inquired the foreign gentleman.

'We call it hoss,' said Mr Podsnap, with forbearance. 'In England, Angleterre, England, We Aspirate the "H," and We Say "hoss." Only our Lower Classes Say "Orse!"'

'Pardon,' said the foreign gentleman; 'I am alwiz wrong!'

'Our Language,' said Mr Podsnap, with a gracious consciousness of being always right, 'is Difficult. Ours is a Copious Language, and Trying to Strangers. I will not Pursue my Question.'

But the lumpy gentleman, unwilling to give it up, again madly said, 'ESKER,' and again spake no more.

'It merely referred,' Mr Podsnap explained, with a sense of meritorious proprietorship, 'to Our Constitution, Sir. We Englishmen are Very Proud of our Constitution, Sir. It Was Bestowed Upon Us By Providence. No Other Country is so Favoured as This Country.'

'And ozer countries?--' the foreign gentleman was beginning, when Mr Podsnap put him right again.

'We do not say Ozer; we say Other: the letters are "T" and "H;" You say Tay and Aish, You Know; (still with clemency). The sound is "th"--"th!"'

'And OTHER countries,' said the foreign gentleman. 'They do how?'

'They do, Sir,' returned Mr Podsnap, gravely shaking his head;

'they do--I am sorry to be obliged to say it--AS they do.'

'It was a little particular of Providence,' said the foreign gentleman, laughing; 'for the frontier is not large.'

'Undoubtedly,' assented Mr Podsnap; 'But So it is. It was the Charter of the Land. This Island was Blest, Sir, to the Direct Exclusion of such Other Countries as--as there may happen to be. And if we were all Englishmen present, I would say,' added Mr Podsnap, looking round upon his compatriots, and sounding solemnly with his theme, 'that there is in the Englishman a combination of qualities, a modesty, an independence, a responsibility, a repose, combined with an absence of everything calculated to call a blush into the cheek of a young person, which one would seek in vain among the Nations of the Earth.'

[linnea]

Jough, have a lovely time!

You bastard. I've always wanted to go to Europe but never been able.

Back to the pee'ing topic:

Yeah, public restrooms are weird. I have perfected the art of "the hover" so that the only contact that is made is the soles of my shoes with the floor.

Jesus, weird-can't-pee-if-anyone-is-there, you have had your entire life since potty-training to get used to public restrooms. What the hell is wrong with you? And KEDS? Jesus.

Horrifying public restroom moment: I went into a bathroom at one of the Macaroni Grills in Denver (it's this horrifying bad chain restaurant with overpriced mediocre food). I had to pee really bad, though, as I have speedy kidneys and a hamster-sized bladder and free refills on the diet Coke back at the table.

I often enjoy a field trip to the ladies' room, especially when my best friend or other dinner companion has been particularly long-winded. It is nice to go in, check my makeup, play with the fun foam-soap dispenser, and give my ears a goddamn rest from being talked off. WTF, Jenn, I'm not yer damned therapist. Anyway, I digress.

Someone was in the next stall. There was a terrible smell. Something had... somehow... not quite made it. One look at the floor was all I needed. I stopped mid-pee and BOLTED.

Looking back, I felt kind of bad. The woman in the stall was probably elderly or something and probably needed help. Hell, if I were shitting uncontrollably I would probably need help, too--FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I am not a goddamned doctor.


that's a picture of a random lady wearing one of the WIGU "Not a Doctor" T-shirts.

[V-Adore]

This verifies all the fears I have ever had about Macaroni Grill, right there. Ew. (I am perplexed by the idea of grilling pasta, but I am a philistine.)

(Digression: I own one of those "NOT A DOCTOR" shirts. It comes in handy, actually, since I'm a Biology major but not pre-med; the question comes up quite a lot.)

[CortJstr]

The Suicide Girls burlesque show was just at the 9:30 Club here in town a few weeks ago, maybe I should have gone. Or I could just be a cheap bastard and DL all their pics off of eDonkey.

And random fact: Macaroni Grill, Magiano's, Chili's, On the Border, Corner Bakery, and Big Bowl are all the same chain. The gift cards are interchangable and in the case of MG/Magiano's and Chili's/OtB actually serve much of the same menu.

[AugustWest]

I like Macaroni Grill.  I mean, it's not the best food in the world, but it's good.  It's not like Fazoli's or something.

[arkabee]

I like Macaroni Grill.  I mean, it's not the best food in the world, but it's good.  It's not like Fazoli's or something.

i have only been to macaroni grill one time and i liked it it was very good food and at a very good price and i think it is ok.  i can pee with other people around, but i don't like it so much, i don't like them being around so much at all.  but i can understand not being able to and i can compassionately feel for those who can not pee.  such a sad thing not to be able to pee.  if i couldn't pee with other people around, i think i would stop eating and move into a hovel to save up enough money forthwit to go get therapy right away so that i could pee on the people who make fund of people who can't pee around people.  while wearing keds.
and fazoli's is pretty good too i haven't been there in awhile though.

[CortJstr]

I can pee with others around but not with somebody looking directly at me (such as an S.O.). I also refuse to pee at the kiddie urinal when all the others are taken because I feel silly.

[andalucia]

Yeah, I'm still stuck on the concept of grilling macaroni.  America's weird.

[Limmo]

The value of the Macaroni Grill is entirely dependent on locale.  If you were in St. Petersburg, Florida, you'd be psyched that you could get decent-but-not-amazing Italian food, because your only other options would be the Olive Garden or mom-n-pop places that put ketchup on the spaghetti.  On the other hand, if you were in northern New Jersey, you wouldn't look twice, because amazing Italian places abound.